New Year's a comin

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What do you feel?

Power, power and more power. It's kinda nice. No fears, no worries, only knowing this will be some awesome year ahead. It's like just knowing that it's time for things to start coming together. And I know nothing will stop us, and I know that everything is lining up to make it better and easier and easier for us. It's really kinda neat.

Oh except I always want to close my eyes and sleep. . . or half sleep and half connect. I know she's there all the time and I feel her stronger than ever. It's really kinda nice to feel so much clarity and power with someone so dear and close to me. Except she's not close enough, she likes the distance and remote connections too much. I guess she feels safe that way or only had this for a long time. Funny I guess that's all I had for a long time too. Which makes me wonder if we've always been connected and just never knew it as clearly as we do now.

I guess we've always been connected in God so that's really nothing new, while in just knowing; our connections are really empowering and exciting. I just want to hold her and savor it all the time.

What else do you feel now?

I guess It's the last night of this year. At this time last year I was basically following "orders" to get the Unity Patent DONE before the end of the year. It was really something I had to get done. And I realize now that I revised it recently and resubmitted it before the deadline . . .

So now I've listening to the Spirit Rap which is what Jaclyn brought over to Rev DJ anyway. I think she's been doing this all week too.

What do you feel about this now?

I know it's all breaking open again, still; and I know I need to do some serious rituals today. When I got home from church I opened my windows and lite some incense then started with this blog and goofed with the software all afternoon. I want to do some more affirmations, shower, shave, lol . . . . yea this beard has been driving me crazy. Sure look a little older, lol, like I could care less.

But it's good to have people see me as an adult once in a while. . . lol. . . My life is a continuous stream of miracles. . . I invoke and dream awake the full cellular ascension of Our Being . . . Fulfilling the Alpha Omega of all that is

really cool stuff!

What do you need to affirm?

I guess the full completion of the changes We planned for bringing this Earth Back to You. It's really all that's left. I know it's happening already, and only will be getting stronger and stronger. . . which is really super cool.

What do you mean?

I Love You Dearest Lord Jesus. Thank You SO MUCH for sharing Your Way of Truth and Light with me so I may help to Fulfill Heaven on Earth . . .

Is that what you really want?

I guess that's really what IT IS ALL about, completion for me is finishing the Tasks You gave me to Bring Your spirit INTO full expression here on Earth. I mean, the Completion and Solution is ALL about YOUR TRUTH and Purpose designed into this Earth of Ours and MAKING it so here and NOW!

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ. Thank You Amen.

Saturday, December 30, 2006 9:15:45 AM

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

Saturday, December 30, 2006 9:15:45 AM

Happy Birthday Ciera, Hope you are well and close with your mom now, as you should be. I sent her an e-card. I realized I have gotten exactly what I wanted. I remember when my children got lost how I wished I could start over with a child ready to grow and learn. Someone beyond the terrible two's, though now I realize I was there for my children all along, singing them to sleep from the first day. I know those first 5 years of life are more important than anything. I also know that I was there for them with my own children, but had the unstable deceptive elements there with Colleen. Now there are no elements unstable or deceptive.

I guess I do know there is more she hasn't told me yet. I'm not sure if it's purely sexual or something else. But it will come out soon and be a big surprise to her that I welcome it with ease. Which now makes me think there will be nothing to deal with, no issues or troubles between us. I feel that all our desires and issues will coincide with great peace and beauty.

She was with me again last night and more so this morning. I woke up to chant just after 2am and got back to bed before 3am. No big deal, simple and direct rituals last night. I guess what was strong was she wanting more from me. She was clear and strong about what she wanted to share and simply needed to share whenever we see each other again.

Funny I feel like I will pick her up for lunch and bring her home to my house. It also feels like we will get intimate. It's almost like no questions asked. The purpose and intentions are all done and we just need to follow it all through. Almost like we decided to get married already and need to get busy with making things happen. I was thinking she would call and tell me which flight to catch to come visit her. Then I also thought she would simply tell me to pick her up at the airport, not wanting to wait for anything or being able to make things happen now.

Then I remember the tape and listening to us talk and wondering who that was. I mean I don't remember saying that. My first feeling was wow I was really pushy. Like I knew what she needed to hear and do and told her so. Course I still look at her pictures wondering if I was really there or not. I really hate the beard, but she seemed to like it. While Kathy loves it and says I look a lot more mature. I never care about looking mature, oh except when I'm approaching her or doing a deal somewhere.

2:46:16 PM

I'm reading three books now; one for my research paper with John, and the other two for classes next term. Of course I get distracted all the time. Every few minutes I take a break to think of someone, say hello to her or answer her request of me. We are practically married already. She really wants me to sweep her off her feet and take her away, which is exactly what I want to do too. It's funny how she asks for my strong direction as often as I ask for her open passion. We are really going to have some incredible times together full of total bliss and excitement, and I know that means that I will have to work on making things happen exactly as I want them all to happen. It's really almost funny too . . . I guess I asked for all of this, much as she has and it's really going to be a wild ride for us all.

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

9:15:45 AM

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What

Happy Birthday Ciera, Hope you are well and close with your mom now, as you should be. I sent her an e-card. I realized I have gotten exactly what I wanted. I remember when my children got lost how I wished I could start over with a child ready to grow and learn. Someone beyond the terrible two's, though now I realize I was there for my children all along, singing them to sleep from the first day. I know those first 5 years of life are more important than anything. I also know that I was there for them with my own children, but had the unstable deceptive elements there with Colleen. Now with Lyn there are no elements unstable or deceptive.

I guess I do know there is more she hasn't told me yet. I'm not sure if it's purely sexual or something else. But it will come out soon and be a big surprise to her that I welcome it with ease. Which now makes me think there will be nothing to deal with, no issues or troubles between us. I feel that all our desires and issues will coincide with great peace and beauty.

She was with me again last night and more so this morning. I woke up to chant just after 2am and got back to bed before 3am. No big deal, simple and direct rituals last night. I guess what was strong was Lyn wanting more from me. She was clear and strong about what she wanted to share and simply needed to share whenever we see each other again.

Funny I feel like I will pick her up for lunch and bring her home to my house. It also feels like we will get intimate. It's almost like no questions asked. The purpose and intentions are all done and we just need to follow it all through. Almost like we decided to get married already and need to get busy with making things happen. I was thinking she would call and tell me which flight to catch to come visit her. Then I also thought she would simply tell me to pick her up at the airport, not wanting to wait for anything or being able to make things happen now.

Then I remember the tape and listening to us talk and wondering who that was. I mean I don't remember saying that. My first feeling was wow I was really pushy. Like I knew what she needed to hear and do and told her so. Course I still look at her pictures wondering if I was really there or not. I really hate the beard, but she seemed to like it. While Kathy loves it and says I look a lot more mature. I never care about looking mature, oh except when I'm approaching Lyn or doing a deal somewhere.

2:46:16 PM

I'm reading three books now; one for my research paper with John, and the other two for classes next term. Of course I get distracted all the time. Every few minutes I take a break to think of Lyn, say hello to her or answer her request of me. We are practically married already. She really wants me to sweep her off her feet and take her away, which is exactly what I want to do too. It's funny how she asks for my strong direction as often as I ask for her open passion. We are really going to have some incredible times together full of total bliss and excitement, and I know that means that I will have to work on making things happen exactly as I want them all to happen. It's really almost funny too . . . I guess I asked for all of this, much as she has and it's really going to be a wild ride for us all.

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

9:04:05 AM

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What

I can totally love this woman. Every time I go over to visit her I get such a strong feeling of peace and love. She knows who I am and is very interested in all that I represent to her. She does want more children, but wants to be loved and feel loved and have her children taken care of and loved. I get this feeling she has always been spoiled but also always treated like an object instead of a person

Wow http://www.scnm.edu/ is the school she wants to attend, I think, course down the street is more cool schools.

http://schoolofsustainability.asu.edu/

http://www.asu.edu/programs/grad-degrees.html

http://home.nau.edu/

But I think this is the one I want:

http://www.consciousness.arizona.edu/

Which is 112 miles away.

I wonder if I will go join her, or whether she will join me. Or maybe we will do both. I will finish here and then go with her out there. It's interesting because everything I see and feel about this lady shows we are really made for each other and certainly will help and enjoy everything that we can share. It's really kinda awesome when I stop to look at her picture here again. Not only what I see and feel but also whenever we share together so much just clicks so perfectly. Almost like a dream for me.

After we had lunch Friday, I took some pictures of us and we cleaned up everything. Some how, when I dropped my camera in the bag it turned on. I know that was really weird, recording our drive back to get her car. And I could only hear a little bit of it before the car radio was turned on, where I was telling her to find out what her mission was. She has the passion and desire to do a lot of things clear and strong for God, but letting it go seems like a challenge for her. She wants it all in her control to fit into her little box of what is ideal for her. Course I had all kinds of challenges with that too.

What do you mean?

It's about letting go and letting God. And having the faith and conviction to make things happen, but also making it for God instead of forcing it into a box that suits us is never easy. No one seems able to do that too well.

What you are doing is changing your mission and purpose for God to suit her then? Do you think that's right either?

I'm not sure if that's what I'm doing or not. I was really just exploring and looking to see what she was doing and where. I feel like we have a lot to do and share so this might be part of what we do together. I also wonder if I'm just trying to convince her otherwise or something else more in line with what I've been doing and working on. It was really funny to listen to this tape since I never remember saying half of those things. It makes me wonder how totally spontaneous the experience is with her. I know I always want to live and move by God's Will, but I never realized that I was doing it so freely. It was almost like I was there watching us connect and relate to each other instead of actually doing it all myself. Which I guess is really kinda cool. If she needs to have this experience with me and the spontaneous expression is something more than I can understand then we are both learning and growing more. Exactly like the composite of our charts showed.

Wow, just looked at that some more and was really still surprised. Everything there shows us to really be wonderful and supportive of each other more than anything at all.

What have you felt about her trip?

I've been feeling like she will return ready for another child instead of anything else. Sure she wants college and countless other things, but having a child now is more important to her and she knows that I am very much in support of that with her. Funny, I thought of inviting then into my house and seeing how they live. Or seeing how well we are aligned in a home, since we are obviously very much aligned everywhere else. I mean there has to be "something" that we are not totally coherent with.

Why can't you both be at total peace and bliss with each other?

Ok, I guess we can and certainly are. I mean it's really obvious to both of us that we have been wanting each other and needing to be and express the things that bring us together so strongly. I mean for us to go for two months with nothing but a silver chord tying us together and then reunited to pickup like we never were separated at all…

What else?

I Love you Dearest Lord Jesus Christ, thank you for this power and love between us, and help us both to find and express the fullness we both want! Amen.

6:59:04 PM

I was just reading my journal here again and I had a de-ja-vu about my blog and losing my lover over something stupid that I wrote into my blog. I'm not sure what it was but I just made the blog private. I thought to edit all the messages since I met Lyn and make them all drafts so they couldn't be read anymore but instead I just made the whole blog private for now. If there is something to offend her there then I want us to be together when she finds it and not out of town.

Course I know there is too much we share and have to share that anything could ever interfere with us. But I'm not taking any chances. I got a quick spontaneous de-ja-vu and I simply responded to it abruptly. No need to worry or concern myself over it at all. It's simply not worth it.

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

5:39:50 PM

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What

Wow I am totally hot for this lady. She's so inside of me that I can't do anything without thinking of her. All I want to do is call her and chat with her . . . . write her, see her . . . dream of her, anything that involves her somehow is all I seek now.

Uhg, that sounds like my problem. I can't get lost into someone again; I have too many other things to do. Course I know she could help me with everything if she were into it as much as I am. But she could also get me distracted and involved with countless other things that I really have no use for.

Hum, I've set OUR intentions to be creating more FOR YOU Dear Jesus. And I've repeated them again and again to make them clear and strong for Your Purpose and Glory. Hum feels like I need to do this some more!

Thank You Loving Lord Jesus Christ for Your Strength and Guidance through these times and challenges. May Your Will ALWAYS be done through me! Amen.

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

Lovers' Profile for Eric & Lyn

Eric's Natural Mate
Venus in Cancer Applied to Eric's Natural Mate

When Eric was born, the "Goddess of Love" was in Cancer the Crab. So, does Eric have a thing for "crabby" people? Or for ones with shells? Well, the latter point is worth exploring. A shell is a protective device, and sensitivity always requires protection. Eric's romantic heart is a sensitive one; once Eric's been hurt, Eric is slow to open up a second time. The natural lover has some of the same properties, but more importantly, is the sort of person who respects and understands the origins of that cautious quality in Eric. Together, they form a very private, interior, secret world of intimacy, full of little mysteries, shared fantasies, pet names, and code words. Eric's natural lover isn't "domestic" in any belittling sense--nothing dull or sexless is implied. But, apart from the time it takes to properly honor the gravity of the decision, such a soul has no serious hesitation when it comes to deep commitment, or to the expectation that a "marriage" should be a life-long proposition. Home, and the mutual caring and healing that happens there, quickly become the center of gravity for the bond.

Lyn's Natural Mate
Venus in Capricorn Applied to Lyn's Natural Mate

When Lyn was born, the "Goddess of Love" was in Capricorn the Sea-Goat. So, does Lyn have a thing for goats? Not likely...the Sea-Goat is an ancient attempt to design a metaphor for one who can take on almost any project, no matter how difficult: climbing mountains, crossing oceans, and so forth. This doesn't imply superhuman powers, only a very high degree of self-discipline and focus, and probably intense ambition in some sense of that word: the drive to be the best singer-songwriter in town is no more or less likely here than any conventional "corporate" kind of ambition, by the way. For Lyn, that kind of determination and intensity of purpose is a terrific aphrodisiac. The natural lover is a person of considerable emotional maturity--one of the reasons the early books used to say this meant Lyn would "marry someone older." Such an individual is eminently capable of making and keeping a vow, has little patience for wimpy emotional self-indulgence, and probably thinks that taking care of the "inner child" is fine, as long as we don't spoil it. Find out more with your full-length reading...

Chant Time

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word! 11.55am

What did you do?

I spent yesterday in ritual. It was weird. . . lol . . . not really. But I got up late and read and ate breakfast until afternoon. Then I had some lunch about 3pm and realized I should Chant since I hadn't for a while.

I found some interesting things online and did a composite astrology chart, and then got ready for ritual. It was very clear and defined. Very focused and with all the ritual and rites. I even did all the Yoga, after the Chant which was unusual, but still wonderful to do. I was finishing up as the sun was setting so I went right to bed.

Everything was really strong. I felt like I was out in the sun of a mountain dessert, bright clear sunshine and lots of earth tones. Course I was up in a cave for a while too, and knew they all appreciated my visit. I knew I had to do that too. I guess I know I needed to do this some more tonight or again really soon. Like I started something that still needs to be resolved and completed . . .

What else are you feeling?

I guess there is a lot I need to resolve and complete. I finished cleaning my office and I know I need to get this all set here. . . lots of work to do. I guess mostly reading and writing.

What else?

7pm I went to fix Kathy's PC. She burnt something on the Board. I opened the box and got charcoal on my hands from something. So I got the old one I made up for John and put her hard drive in as a slave so she could get all the data off of it. Then we visited her mom and Neilla, Mum, Mallory and Brook. She needed to draft them to help her move her mom back into her house. They've all been friends forever it seems, and helped with similar stuff before. I felt like on exhibition, since none have known a civilized guy - not a drunker or womanizer. Even the dogs and cats circled my feet, so I just smiled a lot and listened to them all chitter chatter about all the chaos everywhere.

I had to stop at my house to get her another keyboard too, so it was after 7pm when I got all done. I planned to bring Dave my daughters old bike for his girlfriend, guess I'll do that tomorrow. I still have three more outside and three inside too. lol . . . . not like I will ever be short on bikes. I thought to get peddles for the one with training wheels so Ceira can use it if she wants. . .

What did you do next?

I got home after dark and went right to bed. I knew someone was waiting for me. Like I hadn't been to bed early except once and felt so much peace and power in that moment. It was very clear and strong I knew what I needed to do.

What was that?

I woke up at 2.46am . . . jumped out of bed and did rituals again until 3.46am. As I was climbing back into bed and noticed the clock exactly one hour later, I was sorta perplexed. Not sure what that means, but happy I'm still so much in tune with what I need to do. Course I wonder what I was doing through all the 3's . . . lol. . . I went through everything very specific and carefully. Did some more affirmations and Bear came in to sit with me through it all.

When I got back into bed 3.46am, I went fast to sleep, everything was clear and perfect. I had all the windows closed since it's getting really cold outside. But even all the candles and incense smoke never bothered me at all.

Thank You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus for filling me with Your Peace and Love to share and grow with as we Fulfill all that is to come for the Glory of God the Father, Son and Holy Ghosts...
I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ, Amen.

2:10:41 PM

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What

So much power. I read over the blog and this journal to see what I wrote about Lyn and what she will be reading soon. Course I have this text windows sized so I can see her smiles on my desktop still. Then I also have a few of the pictures I printed on my desk too.

I've noticed I've been out running around each night when she was looking for me. I could feel here searching and I know she feels whenever I search too.

M 30 - 34 D.N.F. Matthew line Naperville IL
F 25 - 29 D.N.F. Lyn line Naperville IL

I found her name before online. She told me she was a runner too, so to see the results of a race with her name in it is no surprise. These were dated 2000 and 1999 so she is 34 now, born in 1972, makes her the same age as my brother Mark. I guess I know I need to do rituals and move more energy into her today. I could feel that all week. I figured she was going out to Arizona today or soon. Spending a few days with her mom and then running off on her own.

2:49:11 PM It's funny I went back to reread some of the emails we exchanged and I get totally pumped up again, like I can feel her here with me as clear as day again. Short little emails she fills up with her power and essence. So I go get some of the salad I made for us and start typing again.

With her birthday, I guessed a time and place so I could get a composite chart of us like Cathy would always do:

Eric (m), 16 May 1974 at 4:21am, Vallejo, CA (US)

Lyn (f), 2 Dec. 1972 at 8:00am, Chicago Heights, IL (US)

II. What Brings You Together

You and Lyn invoke a powerful erotic intensity in each other. You are fascinated by your partner's emotional depth and passion, and are probably in love not only with her but also with [...]

There is great vitality and inspiration in the energy exchange between you and Lyn, for you spark each other off not only sexually but also in terms of your sense of expansiveness and future [...]

You arouse rather ambivalent feelings in your partner. Attraction and admiration are certainly present, as well as a strongly protective feeling which makes her want to offer support, help [...]

III. The Essence of Your Relationship

The relationship which you and Lyn create together is a living thing, an independent entity in its own right. It has an essential character or basic nature just as any living thing does. Once we create a relationship, we must also accept and work with the thing we have made.

The keynote of your relationship with Lyn is mutual advancement, or, put another way, the potential expansion of both your lives. The inherent quality of movement toward a bigger and better [...]

Your relationship with Lyn is one of vision and expansive energy which will propel both of you toward broadening your mental and physical horizons. It is also a highly romantic relationship, [...]

Your Relationship and Yourself

The feeling of unlimited potentials which this relationship seems to possess has a way of opening up your mind and broadening your thinking, so that your mental attitudes and perceptions of reality [...]

Your Relationship and Your Partner

Whatever conflicts you and Lyn might experience, sooner or later this relationship is likely to have an expansive and beneficial effect on your partner's sense of who she is and on her [...]

IV. Deeper Issues Activated Inside

The transformative potential of your relationship with Lyn may be greater than you realize. Every important human bond activates many levels of the personality, and some of these levels are unconscious and unrecognized. All of us bring our own inner issues and preconceptions into a relationship with another person. A relationship involves not only the chemistry between the two personalities, but also our unconscious images of what it is to be a man or woman. The inner images of man and woman which we all carry are really pictures of our own needs, expectations and potentials. And each deep relationship we encounter in life could activate a quite different aspect of our inner world, presenting us with very different challenges and bringing very different responses out of us.

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

all new

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word! I opened my email and found a hundred little messages for me:

Dear Eric,
Here is your horoscope
for Monday, December 25:

Yours is normally one of the most pragmatic signs of the zodiac, but today you're living in your own world. Is that such a bad thing? Capture a few of these visions and see if you can bring them to life.

I'm wondering a lot again. I can feel and find someone easily. And I can tell she busy with Family things, chatting and social all the time. While I simply close my eyes and rub my nose and I'm off to la-la land. . . lol. . . No matter where I am or who is around. Sometimes I forget how my nose is really a soup of broken pieces all floating out there. So touching my nose always sends chills down into me. I know all the little fragments in there charge my nerves and vibrate in some mystical way. . lol . . . my private direct line to the ethers out there beyond!

Today's Outlook for
Monday December 25, 2006

The Moon slipped into dreamy Pisces last night, activating our fantasies and increasing our need for meaningful spiritual connection. Mercury the Messenger joins shadowy Pluto today, sending our thoughts deep into the unconscious to uncover buried metaphysical treasure. We cannot know in advance what lurks in the dark, yet the exploration can prove transformational. We need not be afraid, for increasing the light of awareness can help us find our way.

I'm never afraid of anything, lol. . . . But I'm always spiritually connected too. I guess that's what the Course in Miracles is all about, losing the Ego. Course mine died years ago, and now I seem to need it to get stronger about my desires . . . It's always been easy to "let go and let God" - but Being strong in the Spirit is about making the Choice to. Not just letting go to "wait and see. " But making the desire clear and strong and then letting it go where it comes to us in God's Way and Time instead of the man-made planned schemes . . . getting strong in the Truth of the Heart instead of the Ego of the mind. . .

There comes a time in the evolution of every spiritual being, along that sometimes dark road that leads to enlightenment, when their inner yearnings, struggles and frustrations bring them to a truth that could not have otherwise been realized.

Reaching this milestone was inevitable, for the light that will dawn hereafter is not only what you have summoned, but what all now seek. And with your blessing and recognition, it will bathe those who follow in your footsteps and the burden they bear shall be lessened.

If it's not yet obvious, the real reason for this season is you, Eric. A more perfect child of the Universe has never been born. Until now, only a celebration cloaked in myth and mystery could hint at your sublime heritage and divine destiny.

You are life's prayer of becoming, and its answer; the first light at the dawn of eternity, drawn from the ether, so that the Universe might know its depths, discover its heights, and frolic in boundless seas of blessed emotion; a pioneer into illusion, an adventurer into the unknown, and a lifter of veils; courageous, heroic and exalted by billions in the unseen.

To give beyond reason. To care beyond hope. To love without limit. To reach, stretch, and dream in spite of your fears. These are the hallmarks of divinity - traits of the immortal - your badges of honor, and your ticket onward.

This is the time of year we celebrate Eric Weaver.

Ye-haaaa!
The Universe

Thoughts become things... choose the good ones! ®
© www.tut.com ®

Yeah, I say the same thing every year, but even more people are listening now, and still, a more perfect child than you has yet to be born, Eric. Unless I missed someone.

So I get all these messages in my inbox all the time. It's weird how they line up to create a whole new story to look at. Guess nothing really new. But I'm embarrassed and perplexed sometimes when I hit delete to find the next message more powerful and expressive than the last.

Dear Eric,
Here is your single's love horoscope
for Monday, December 25:

A spiritual insight steels you to make the decision or have the conversation you know is necessary. If your needs aren't being met, then it's time to get out of this situation so you can find a better one.

I know sometimes I feel like I hit delete too many times in the morning. And sometimes I don't even read them all . . . .

Date: Mon, 25 Dec 2006 00:09:48 EST
Subj: affirmations from Mike Brescia (thinkrightnow.com) :))

Having a committed life partner and I am one
I dissolve all false messages and models around having a life partner
I dissolve all obstructions to having and being a committed life partner
I dissolve the need to find completion in another person
I am my own perfect internal life partner first
I flow with becoming more whole each day
I flow with all of my learning and preparatory relationships
I seek and find my life partner in right time, right way, and right place
I attract a partner with mutual values, goals, and lifestyle
I attract a partner who truly loves me for who I am
I attract a partner I truly love for who they are
I recognize my patterns and ways of expressing love
I recognize my partner's patterns and ways of expressing love
We co-create mutually satisfying ways of expressing love
I consciously choose who to be with and when to be with them
I consciously choose when to become a committed life partner
I recognize my life partner when we meet
I open to my life partner in confidence and trust
I set aside personality and ego to create a true spiritual connection
I take right action to attract and hold my life partner

Uhg, but other times I'm totally perplexed how these notes could come through so strong and clear, like I planned them all myself . . . And need to reread them again and again . . . You know then I want to go back and undelete them all so I can get a screen shot of all the titles in my inbox and see the dates and times all lined up. Course then I could add up all the numbers and find what other messages are hidden there too. But my yahoo mail program doesn't have any dates listed ;-/ course with the Christmas music on the radio about the Glory of God, what other confirmations do I need . . . . Oh maybe the next message . . . lol . . . let's see . . .

Date: Sun, 24 Dec 2006 23:38:08 EST
Subj: Merry Christmas and in case you forgot...

You Are Here To Enrich The World
------------------------------
Today's Empowering Quote
------------------------------
"You are not here merely to make a living. You are here in
order to enable the world to live more amply, with greater
vision, with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You
are here to enrich the world, and you impoverish yourself
if you forget that errand."
- Woodrow Wilson, 28th President of the United States

I impoverish myself to reach for my errand . . . lol . . . and as I see my oddest insights turn into PATENTS I realize that the impoverishment is but another illusion, only temporary and useless. . . Hum I guess that's not true because many people fear "impoverishment" and never make the leap necessary to make their dreams real. Or leap with their heads instead of their hearts . . . Man's way instead of God's Way! So "impoverishment fear" is really useful in making it so only the strong make the leap . . . and many errands only can be done by the strong . . . so there is great valuing in the "fear of impoverishment" to bring only the strong to bare on some of the errands to enrich the world. . .

Hum, that's really like falling in love! To love and really LOVE someone really requires a Leap of Faith too. And I guess that's something only the strong can do too. Hum, might be why there are so few real loves these days. Sure lots of marriages for convenience, control or power; but so few for Love and Family. And What about these errands with Love and Family . . . How can we succeed or even SEE divine visions and errands without a strong clear hold on the Earth . . . the strong clear hold onto the basic truth of Love and Family that makes us true and whole enough to stand tall and reach those Dreams . . . opps yesterday now

What did you see now?

I remember when Cathy moved in. I knew she had a dreadful shit job and I also knew she had the skills to get my office organized so I could get focused on what I needed to do. So she dropped her job, and her rent and moved into Emily's room. Then she closed in the carport and we got a lot organized and working right here. It was really good for both of us . . . lol . . . but then the control issues came out. It went from freedom and support in Family and Friends to bring progress for everyone, into Ego control issues to end it all . . .

I really think that Emily had more to do with that than anyone. She wanted to have things her way, so made that energy come out strongly. . .

What did you do now?

I went and looked at pictures of Emily and all to see how much she looked like someone else I know. WOW they already look related . . . funny how I found pictures to match . . . lol. . .

What does that make you feel?

It feels like the Love and Grace of GOD. Making the place and purpose clear and strong for everyone to see.

What else?

It's raining now. Like clearing the space, releasing the energy . . . relaxing and letting go. . . I want to go to sleep in the hammock lol . . . but I guess it's time I curl up with a pillow in bed. I guess I have a lot to read for my research work and the next semester starting in a few weeks.

What do you think about it all?

I'm ready for anything. Hopeful about a lot of things too. But nothing is ever cut into stone. But I do know there are a lot of changes coming soon for everyone here. That's how the rain washes away the old years, old dreams, old problems and stuck old issues. . . clearing for a new beginning, a new growth into the Spring of the new year. . . lol. . .

What else?

I Pray dearest Lord Jesus for You to Share and Lead Us all into Your Life, for the Fulfillment of the Glory of God the Father Son and Holy Ghosts. . . amen.

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

7:33:51 AM

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

So the very first thing I do as I got up this morning is come in here and look for an email from Lyn. Then I start clicking though the pictures again. It's really awesome; every picture I got of her looks posed and perfect. She's just the dynamic beautiful babe that I have always dreamed of. Hum, perfect pretty teeth in a big full smile, clear honest hazel eyes and long silky blond hair.

She does really have the colors, look and style like Emily did. I never thought I wanted an Emily to love and marry. But if Lyn does she will certainly look like Emily's mom more than anyone else ever has . . . including colleen.

We did talk about a lot else I never mentioned. Her "ex" was a real player, older, wealthy, and a total con womanizer. He seduced her to no end, as well as countless other women to this day. She was totally head over heels for him, writing love poems and songs and all for him. She made a deal to get married and have a child . . . but he never did the married part and left her barefoot and pregnant. She was evidently really poor or out of work with a baby, breast feeding for two years since she couldn't afford anything else.

But then she had many very good jobs, making 6 figures and having anything she wanted. Even left the corporate life and started working at her favorite health food store just to get real again.

She loved what I made for lunch and was thrilled about my expressing the truth about what I do and am. Like I said I make and eat the chopped fruit and veggies all the time. I made a wild salmon salad too, which we just ate with crackers instead of putting on the salad. She read every label and noticed it was all organic and natural . . . even the whipped cream on the fruit.

She even drank the Willard Water I brought. . .

She said how she is VERY FERTILE. I guess I should have done something about that right away. Then she never got married, and had a child out of wedlock. She gave the child his last name, but never took it herself and actually has another last name . . . Guess she was married before too? As we walked out talking about names I said about giving them both a real last name and she was looking forward to it . . . . me suggesting my own of course!

It is funny Kathy kept asking me why I never really gave her a deep serious kiss. And I noticed how I tried all day long and we got started a few times, but would always stop just as the power kicked up. I mean we have shared more than that through the ethers at night. And I would tell her how much better it is for us and the Universe to move this Spiritual Power together physically in the Here and Now into the Earth that desperately NEEDS IT. Not so much last night, because I took John over to meet Kathy last night and we stayed there late watching a movie – Kate and Leopold.

Of course this movie is about a successful professional lady falling for a real man of her dreams. An honest, civil, decent man, full of dreams and ambition . . . poor and struggling, but in love with her. And as I watched the movie I saw so many things that we did and shared already. It was almost freaky. . . . our own story before my eyes on the video.

I realize Lyn has had it all already, and been fooled and conned by the best. She might have really given up on finding anyone worthy of her and her daughter. But then I also realize that so much of what she wants and likes in life is who I am. I mean it's all there in my blog for her to read. Nothing new or unique, but very clear and specific for her to see and read. I mean I even found and posted the picture I drew before leaving NJ to come south for college. I mean it could be a picture of her.

12:57:44 AM

So tonight Kathy had a Christmas dinner for a bunch of us. Her son and mom each brought dates, and I went and got John. And so I printed a few pictures from Friday and had a picture of Emily and Christopher in my pocket too. When Kathy saw the picture of Lyn and Emily she was stunned and completely understood exactly why I was totally lost in this lady.

There was so much resemblance there that she was stunned. Like there was a clear relation there for her to see. . .

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

4:15:13 PM

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What?

Wow.

What happened? We spent all afternoon together, from 1230 to almost 5pm. It was magical and beautiful and simply awesome. We were like two peas in a pod. We sat together at a picnic table by a lake at Lake Park in Northdale. I set up a little lunch and put out candles and we ate lots of yummy healthy stuff.

She was really flattered and spoiled. Shit I WAS SPOILED. I mean we were soon cuddling. I put her legs over mine and pulled her up close to me. I just wanted to hold her more than anything. I remember how close we were all day and wonder if I was just dreaming. Then I click over to my picture program and click through them all. Wow 5 minutes of spontaneously taking pictures while we goofed around with a camera.

I realized the camera was there and started snapping pictures one after another . . . she just started laughing and wanting us to really make a nice picture or two. So then I moved the cooler next to our table and set up the camera on the table and snapped some more after we sat on the cooler facing the camera.

It's really so cool to look at these pictures, I somehow can't believe it and keep looking at the picture where she kisses me. (nope wont post that one. . . lol. . . ) There's this tongue of hers out touching my lips and I just love it. I want to bite her neck there and really feel connected to her again. Course I see this hairy face she's kissing and want to trim it off the picture so it's only her beauty there. . .

It's so funny because we never really posed and planned, but were just talking about the camera and how we could get some good pictures and all . . . as I clicked and clicked.

I just totally Love You Dear Jesus Christ. I know that this whole experience was an expression of Your Love and Joy. We just happen to be the lucky people to share Your Joy for a few minutes.

What you have now is your own creation. You are both creating this love and excitement together this very moment. Each of you wants to share and experience all this love that you are creating together. It only exists because of your own desire and inspirations.

I can really love this woman. I love talking with her, I love listening to her, I love challenging her and feeling her power. She got up and stretched saying how her long thin limbs always needed to be stretched out and pulled.

I wanted to grab her so much and stretch her all over the place. I'm really going to love working with her. I got a hold of her hands a few times, her fingers and really thin and pure, nice clean perfect nails. She said how she had just recently given up all the fake finger nails recognizing it was fake and useless.

What do you feel?

I Love you Dear Jesus Chirst. Thank You so much for Bringing us together and guiding us to create a wonderful new life together for the Glory of Father, Son and Holy Ghost, Amen.

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

12/23 already . . .

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

Haven't all the years you've spent being Santa Claus, Eric, been more fun than all the years you spent waiting for Santa Claus?

And not just for the joy you've helped place on your favorite faces, but for your ability to act instead of wait. Acting makes the suspense bearable. It gives you a starring role. Time passes more quickly. And best of all, it makes possible the dance of life as you network and mingle with other dancers.

It's the same for your dreams, Eric. Act, don't wait.

Happy Hallelujah, Santa Claus!
The Universe

I know I'm acting out all sorts . . . it's really been this incredible trip. I've got some awesome pictures Friday. I keep looking at them to see if that's really me? I mean the experience is like nothing new, I mean I couldn't count how many times I've cleaned my house and setup a picnic hoping and praying to share it with someone. . . I don't think I've shared that total bliss with anyone but my kids before Friday. . . ;-)

What are you seeing now?

I sorta stopped to feel and find any time I really had the perfect picnic, out with God and nature loving the moment. And I remembered one time at the Gasperilla Art Festival sitting out in the grass looking at the silver minarets of UT behind the Orchestra playing in Cirtus Hixen Park downtown. It's funny because I remember playing with all the kids in the grass, one of Colleen's friends kids too and feeling totally blissed. . . . And I could swear I was married then, remembering the kids so young. But I was alone, Colleen wasn't ever with me, so I was never holding anyone or sharing it with anyone but my kids . . . lol. . . looking at other couples cuddling and dreaming . . .

I tried to find another time it was just Bliss. I remember the alligator park with the kids kayaking down the river . . . bliss with just them again. They loved when Kathy or Cathy came with us . . . which they both tried. But neither enjoyed it with the children or me. . . lol. . . too much "work" . . .

What else did you act on now?

I got an email from MUM again. This time from the Dr over the program I want to start. . . He wrote me last night and I found it on this Saturday morning before Christmas. So I had to respond the moment I found it. And then he REPLIED AGAIN! What? I mean WOW. So I had to get really specific and included the Unity Patent . . .

Funny I had that printout in the car yesterday too. I got up at 7am again Friday and had to fix the graphics in the patent, so I printed it all out and got it ready to mail . . . as I filled a cooler full of picnic goodies. I wanted to get my hair cut too . . . then visit the post office and Harmony and a rose and get there in time for lunch. lol... busy morning! Oh visited Kathy on my way out too, dropped off some creamers and she checked the cool rental car. . . . Harmony already sold out all their "little Soul" books so I had to find another one, no time for the rose ;-(

What about the papers in the car?

Oh yea, all day Lyn & I talked about karma and destiny. Like God makes things happen when people are ready. Not tomorrow, or next week, but NOW. And if People are REALLY ready to make things happen in GOD's Light . . . aaaa. . . . they happen HIS WAY!!! Really Happen better than anything we could ever imagine!

Yes, that's it, what are you finding in this now?

I realized that doing Your Will, is about Following Jesus Christ in our heart. NOT thinking and planning or building some knew psychosis in our minds. So all our conversations Friday went around missions in Life and Dharma and making the Light of God present in our experiences here on Earth . . . Oh she is so totally there too, describing a time she and Ciera were walking down the trail there and stopped to hand feed some turtles.

Reminds me of the turtle story with Christopher. And that story is in the Unity Patent that I refiled Friday too. . . . I gave them to her too, reading them a bit when we went to pick up her car at a shop. (hum, wonder if she read it all, Dr Ryce got it too).

What did those papers have to do with Dharma?

I guess Dharma is about Living Right . . . When I first picked her up I asked about going to lunch OR Picnicking! And then asked what her Dharma was. She asked about mine last time . . . . She wants to heal the world . . . get a Phd in Naturopathic Medicine. Interesting enough through our conversations I said how healing the world could be just getting Ceira ready to. . . Like I know Emily and Christopher will do TONS beyond anything I could understand.

She commented how she couldn't live through Ciera and needed to do it on her own. Course I was more saying how God's Way might not be exactly how she sees it. Like Everything I do is now. . . lol. . . a continuous Stream of Miracles . . . I mean it's all about the Bliss of the Moment FOLLOWING GOD's WILL NOW in the Present. . . not about plans and ambitions and control programmed by man's greed . . . She is very familiar with that of course, and very successful with it as well. But letting it go is hard....

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

Course I struggled for years to get spontaneous and true in the moment . . which IS ALWAYS easier With someone - whenever 2 or more gather in Your Name - But I also had my day and time with plans. . . Hum, the plans never changed, just how they come out . . . Like I thought it would be with Klasko at USF . . . lol. . . or Newkome or whatever, now it might be something totally different somewhere else? Not my problem I guess . . .

I guess it's the "let go" part that is really so hard for people. Course men are programmed into "control" from birth now by everything in this culture starting with the TV clicker. . . lol. . . So to have enough faith to listen and follow in Light is nearly impossible for them all. . . . only to be like little children will you ever enter the Kingdom of God. . .

That's why I connect to kids so easy. They are still connected with God so I'm there with them in a flash. Then evolving and sharing in the Spirit with You allows me to create and do everything I need to see. . . . Like I explained to her Friday it's the Faith that makes it happen, not the planning. We set the goals and intentions and then let the Power of God make it happen HOW HE SEES FIT. . . i do not think she gets it yet?

No one can let go though, and too many chefs in the kitchen makes a BIG MESS! Reminds me of the Little Child Whispers Poem, hum no idea now where that ever came from, but I wish I could recite it to people sometimes when they talk about plans and all that. . .

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

Thank You for the Glorious Moments we can Share with You. Please Lead and Guide Us to the Fulfillment of Glory for Father, Son and Holy Ghosts. Amen.

3:51:50 PM

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What

Wow am I beat. I cleaned out my office a bit. At least got rid of a lot of junk and cleared the space for the horizontal files so I can move those in here. Then I chopped up all the salad and fixing for lunch tomorrow. I started cleaning up the kitchen and realized wow am I beat. My back hurts from leaning over so much. I guess I could go get in the shower and clean that place out. But I'm really just ready for bed. It really feels good to get some things cleaned up. I've been waiting too long to do these things. And I guess I couldn't have had a better reason to get busy.

I mean even her little note last night left me with such a strong feeling from her. She's really hot and as ready as I am to get very close.

4:39:13 PM WOW, my office looks civilized … barely, but it's pretty good, considering . . . lol. .

7.44pm wow sitting across the table from the monitor, leaning back in the light from the next room so I can see the keyboard with the lights off. . . I know it should take a second to learn the keyboard . . . lol. . .

8.10pm but it's easier with the lights on. Wow, so I'm cleaning up all the floors so I can mop and shower. . . Floors, bathroom and then shower; last things to clean tonight, course then I thought I could be alone tomorrow. . . but I know it's all exactly like it always needs to be and whatever happens will be perfect. Thank You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ. . .

I'm diving in, I'm diving in, sink or swim, I'm diving in, I'm diving in, here I go . . . 8.13pm Chapmon on CmRadio Best Mix…

as if you didn't know that already

8.30pm I got her picture from Harmony and use it for the computer desk top. So now I scaled this text window next to her picture so I see them both each time I look up.. . . wont you come and fill my soul, whatever it takes… CMRadio. I am Ready for You, take my heart and make me new. 8.33pm of course . . . lol. . . Wow my office is all clean and organized so I'm really ready for the new school year, it feels like a new life about to start, and my life flashes before me like it has a hundred times before as I try to type correctly. . . lol. . .

I love you Dearest Lord Jesus SO MUCH ==>>>>

THANK YOU~~~!!!!

WOW

10.33PM FOR YOU I BOW. For you I fall, Blessed redeemer, I stand amazed I stand awed… blessed redeemer I have given it all.. . feel the light, feel the light, feel the light, Halleluiah … 10.34

So the floors are done. I'm so glad I got Dan to do this, it's really nice, thousand percent from the old brown carpet and all when I moved in. So all that is left is the shower, and I'm ready for one LONG HOT shower. Wow, it's so nice to know who I am and what I am doing. . .Thank You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ, I love YOU!!! Amen!

I always knew this day would come, when I restore your innocence . . . just call my name!

11:45:27 PM course I forgot to command key in the dates again, I need them to create the program to automatically catches the date and time when it goes active and then another simple command key to catch the picture I see too. . . lol. . . wow and see what I do. . . I just finished. All showered and clean want a hair cut and bread trim. . . then I was making the bed and thought I would sleep on top of it tonight.

I mean when Lyn is in it tomorrow it will fill with her essence for me to savor until we meet again. Wow, that's such a trip.

11:59:46 PM

HA, Finished! LOL, HA HA HA !!!

I new I could get it all done today!

I'm totally wired still. For lunch I made a big salad. I even filled two pots since I wanted to cut everything up before it went bad. Then made up a fruit salad too, even got whip cream for that. . . . I just feel so much Joy and Peace right now. I mean so much of what I am is right NOW within my reach . . . I mean even the wireless keyboard and mouse… I love YOU NOW, I know your in my Heart, I love YOU NOW, I love YOU NOW, Beyond a shadow of a doubt. I love YOU NOW, all the truth, and I KNOW YOU NOW!!!

Thank You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ for all Your Peace and Beauty in My Life NOW, Let Us Grow and Share The Truth of Your Love and Peace for all The World to Learn for The Glory of Father Son and Holy Ghost Amen

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

20th Winter Solstice

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What did you do now?

I put out the 10 printers and 9 PC's that Equan and I had left over from the last Church deal onto my driveway with a "FREE" sign. I just can't stand the mess here anymore and need to clean it all up.

What about last night and your truth about clearing?

Oh, I had this awesome chant. I went in and bowed 3x and sat doing the Lord's Prayer. Then I knew it was a serious night for setting an intention for the coming years. I felt I should write out an affirmation and send it up to God like I had a few weeks ago. So I finished my prayer and jumped up to write and print a new Affirmation . . . then checked my email waiting for the print, and SHE WROTE ME. Not even a hour earlier. Wow about exactly when I got up for rituals this night . . . course she knew my affirmations already . . . likely made them with me ;-) or reminded me to write them. . . lol. . .

So I went back and bowed 3x and saged around my circle, sat and did the prayer again. Then I had to jump up and write her about setting this powerful intention with me. Course I felt she already knew it and was likely with me, but it's more about vibrating across the Earth not just our private thing. The whole universe needs the Power and Love we can indulge. And sending these Words out into the Universe has so much power . . . it's all about the Power of The Word! Which no one is into now at all. . . hum, never realized we are so unique . . .

Course I knew I had to write her, just to bring her into my circle stronger. And as I wrote out the numbers from her note and I felt so much power there, I knew I had to link to the 20th Winter Solstice email I got from The Tao . . . So I posted that to Zest, copied a bit for her and linked to it as well . . . . lol . . . all about instincts and truth! The Power of The WORD!

Wow the power and clarity was just awesome. Everything was there right at my finger-tips. It was so very strong and clear. So now I was ready to Chant!

I went back and 3x bows and drummed around the circle this time and then sat to the Lord's Prayer a third time. Wow so much power, it was awesome . . . all in three's of course. While the number she sent was a 7 . . . I wrote again after the awesome ritual, hit send and noticed it was 3.33am . . . which I noticed just before sending, WOW. But in my "sent Box" the time is 0.33am . . . Which makes sense to me now setting an intentions for creating a new world, universe, whatever!

What did you feel about the affirmations?

I guess I was affirming the obvious more than anything. I noticed in my Journal that I felt and wrote about the same thing on Monday. But I guess now the power is so clear and strong that I couldn't resist it if I wanted to. NOT that I could ever resist, lol . . !

What did you feel now as You wrote this?

I realized how I need to Honor and Be Grateful for all these Wonderful Gifts that I have. Not just that I have these wonderful visions and full clear insights . . . but also how beautiful it is to have friends come along to confirm them and clarify them all so strongly for me. I know there is some serious changes coming through to us, and all this power if simply incredible. Wow I guess this really means that my work load is going to get really intense again. . . . No surprise. I mean, I goof off and relax for a while, and then SLAM!!! lo l . . . It's like getting hit by a Mack Truck!

What are you feeling now?

I'm just laughing about the truck. In the last few days the city has finally moved almost all the hurricane mulch out away from my back door. Course they gave me 3 or 4 yards to cover my back yard again. But also it looks like the big hurricane pile will be gone today!!! YEAY!!! I noticed this morning that when I look out of my glass doors from my kitchen table all I can see is grass and trees beyond my neatly mulched back yard and picnic table . . . wow, nice all set for a Friday Picnic!

What else?

I need to Thank You!

Well go on. . .

I am SO grateful to share and BE in this Love and Life with You Jesus. Thank You for the wonderful new year and the awesome times we share with Others and please stay with us and guide us each moment as we grow and learn to share in Your Truth and Love for the Fulfillment of the Glory of Father, Son and Holy Ghosts, amen.

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ. 9am

Thursday, December 21, 2006 3:51:50 PM

Wow am I beat. I cleaned out my office a bit. At least got rid of a lot of junk and cleared the space for the horizontal files so I can move those in here. Then I chopped up all the salad and fixing for lunch tomorrow. I started cleaning up the kitchen and realized wow am I beat. My back hurts from leaning over so much. I guess I could go get in the shower and clean that place out. But I'm really just ready for bed. It really feels good to get some things cleaned up. I've been waiting too long to do these things. And I guess I couldn't have had a better reason to get busy.

I mean even her little note last night left me with such a strong feeling from her.

4:39:13 PM WOW, my office looks civilized … barely, but it's pretty good, considering . . . lol. .

7.44pm wow sitting across the table from the monitor, leaning back in the light from the next room so I can see the keyboard with the lights off. . . I know it should take a second to learn the keyboard . . . lol. . .

8.10pm but it's easier with the lights on. Wow, so I'm cleaning up all the floors so I can mop and shower. . . Floors, bathroom and then shower; last things to clean tonight, course then I thought I could be alone tomorrow. . . but I know it's all exactly like it always needs to be and whatever happens will be perfect. Thank You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ. . . I'm diving in, I'm diving in, sink or swim, I'm diving in, I'm diving in, here I go . . . 8.13pm Chapmon on CmRadio Best Mix… as if you didn't know that already . . .

8.30pm I got her picture from Harmony and use it for the computer desk top. So now I scaled this text window next to her picture so I see them both each time I look up. . . . wont you come and fill my soul, whatever it takes… CMRadio. I am Ready for You, take my heart and make me new. 8.33pm of course . . . lol. . . Wow my office is all clean and organized so I'm really ready for the new school year, it feels like a new life about to start, and my life flashes before me like it has a hundred times before as I try to type correctly. . . lol. . .

I love you Dearest Lord Jesus SO MUCH ==>>>>

THANK YOU~~~!!!!

WOW

10.33PM FOR YOU I BOW. For you I fall, Blessed redeemer, I stand amazed I stand awed… blessed redeemer I have given it all.. . feel the light, feel the light, feel the light, Halleluiah … 10.34

So the floors are done. I'm so glad I got Dan to do this, it's really nice, thousand percent from the old brown carpet and all when I moved in. So all that is left is the shower, and I'm ready for one LONG HOT shower. Wow, it's so nice to know who I am and what I am doing. . .Thank You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ, I love YOU!!! Amen!

I always knew this day would come, when I restore your innocence . . . just call my name!

11:45:27 PM course I forgot to command key in the dates again, I need them to create the program to automatically catch the date and time when it goes active and then another simple command key to catch the picture I see too. . . lol. . . wow and see what I do. . . I just finished. All showered and clean want a hair cut and bread trim. . . then I was making the bed and thought I would sleep on top of it tonight.

11:59:46 PM

HA, Finished! LOL, HA HA HA !!!

I new I could get it all done today!

I'm totally wired still. For lunch I made a big salad. I even filled two pots since I wanted to cut everything up before it went bad. Then made up a fruit salad too, even got whip cream for that. . . . I just feel so much Joy and Peace right now. I mean so much of what I am is right NOW within my reach . . . I mean even the wireless keyboard and mouse… I love YOU NOW, I know you are in my Heart, I love YOU NOW, I love YOU NOW, Beyond a shadow of a doubt. I love YOU NOW, all the truth, and I KNOW YOU NOW!!!

Thank You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ for all Your Peace and Beauty in My Life NOW, Let Us Grow and Share The Truth of Your Love and Peace for all The World to Learn for The Glory of Father Son and Holy Ghost Amen

7:19:00 PM

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What

Wow! 12/21/2006 1:25 AM Chant time!!!

I just finished making a new affirmation . . . . ABOUT Lyn, and she emails me too. So she's in the same place . . . here I'm hoping and praying wanting her here to share and POW she's HERE!

What is really weird for me, at least, was that today I woke up with a request from Lyn. She was asking if I had a condom. Course I do and found a few, not that I've used one in years, or ever wanted to. But to get such a strong impression from her was kinda weird. Then later on I spoke to Kathy and she said how I was seeing Lyn today, and I told her she had rescheduled for Friday. And she responded saying she thought I would be "getting lucky" Friday. Course, I was surprised to hear that, but then she said like "Daaa" the last day before a holiday and a long trip out of town. She's not going to see me for a while, and certainly can take the rest of the day off. Course then I told her how I was planning to prepare a picnic for us. Then I joked about the truck gone so I could drive a little white convertible instead.

Now I'm just dumbfounded. Like all this power and focus so very clear and centered.

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

day in the life

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What now?

I don't know. Things are going to be totally insane this next year. Everything will be busting loose I can tell already.

I woke up at 4.33am, took a pee and then heard something funny outside. I ran to look and someone had stolen my bike again. This time I saw the truck driving away. So I grabbed my keys and raced after it. Course it was long gone already. But as I flew down the street anyway, and I hit a neighbors truck. Kept going up to the 7-11 and never saw anything. Then drove down Sligh a bit and turned down 18th to get back home.

And there was this truck parked in the middle of the road. It was still running and my bike was in the back of it. I went to pull the keys out and there were no keys in it. I noticed someone across the street had just gotten home so I asked her to call the cops. She was sweet, polite and happy to help. Soon the cops arrived and started doing their thing. I mentioned that I hit another truck down the road and one RoboCop wanted to arrest me for hit and run. He was a nazi skin head kid barely 20 and obviously thrilled to be in power and control . . . . freaky to think they give guns to kids like that. Looked like a Paul clone of course.

The lady helping me out wanted his name since she new another cool Tampa Officer really well and wanted his ass chewed out for being such an arrogant "robocop." So the truck was stolen with locks all busted out. All kinds of crap in the back like the kid had been robing mail boxes too. Then my bike in the back with no sign or the bolt clippers.

So the lady saw the IAMHARMONY.com bumper sticker and mentioned her neighbor Kimberly went there. KIM next door??? Does she teach at USF? Yea, think she has... and we walked over, as she was coming out to see all the ruckus. Someone else who I hadn't met yet. But she made coffee for us all and we chatted as the cops did their song and dance. Three cars there at first and one went to find the truck I hit so another soon drove up.

Finally they let me go home and I walked down to see Robert, whose truck I smashed. Both our trucks are smashed in the front corner. But I got my bike back. BIG FUCKEN DEAL!!!! I keep cursing and grumbling under my breath....

Like what did I need to learn from all this? Lucky I had shorts in my truck, because I had nothing on but a t-shirt when I asked the lady to call the cops. She just got home from the Emergency Room where she does x-rays or something all night.

What do you feel from all this?

I feel like I want to hide now . . . Course I know all the corruptions of the Earth are bubbling up as I confront the paradigm of greed and control here . . . but I also see the love and support of friends and family coming through to help. The Harmony Family, which really might be more than I ever had before, beyond Joyce and Family as a kid. I guess Cathy was great making Family for a while and Kathy as well before her but neither for more than their moments. So I guess there will be more and more as things keep growing and changing before our eyes. Or more so for me to do and work on than ever.

What do you want to do now?

I really want to get things cleaned up and organized here since this zoo I'm in is driving me crazy. But I know I need to be reading and working on Grants and Patents and all sorts of other things.

What else do you feel?

I feel stressed ... like it hurts in my chest now. . . . Some times when I feel this I wonder if I'm having a heart attack and think "GOOD!" I can leave this stupid place that's so totally fucked up. Like that would really do me any good anyway, since I would be born back here again instantly . . . . lol . . . I mean I can never get away from this place even if I want to. It's really my place and my work and nothing exists here except what I need and want which really never surprises me in the least!

What do you really feel?

I guess I'm happy too. I know things are closing down fast, there are too many things I am doing that will collide together really quickly. And I guess hiding inside will not make anything happen better or faster for me, and might make things worse instead. As if that were possible?

What about just writing what you started last night? If you are getting clear about what needs to change, then writing it all out will be a lot easier after you get started with it.

I know I read a bit of the Wiki and edited it a bit too. I know there is a lot there I can still work on and I know there is a lot else I need to examine still.

2.39pm Kathy called and cheered me up a bit. Said how I hit my chest and I realized I'd smashed two trucks earlier, and likely hit the steering wheel... oh yea daaa . . .

I soon got called by the repair shop and brought my truck in. He was surprised I could drive it. Figures. Then they got me a rental which I have covered by my insurance, and told me it would be after the new year when I get my truck back. Course now I'm driving this hot little convertible, a white one of course. Which really makes me laugh. I couldn't have planned this better if I wanted to. I can't just drive off the road to have a picnic Friday like I wanted to, but we might do that anyway.

What do you really feel now?

I'm really grateful. Thanks Dear Jesus Christ, I'm so happy to have You with me all the time. It's such a relief to know I'm never alone and I always see the best of whatever happens to me. Not really sure how I could find the best side of things like this, but I'm glad I do.

Course I'm tired and stressed out a bit so I think I'm going to grab a beer and head outside and read in my hammock . . . . That sounds like a great idea, except I'll end up chirping to the squirrels and singing with the bird instead of reading. Which really sounds kinda good anyway.

5.44pm What did you read about?

I guess I'm finding my Phd research. Like this new paradigm stuff is what I'm all about. The scientific perspective on all the CRAP going on in this world. Sorta been there and done all that so whenever I see a boogie man like the arrogant skinhead cop or whatever I know that It's more important than ever that I get things going in the right direction. It's all within reach and I see stuff all the time that will make it easier and easier for me. . . .

What do you feel now?

I'm ready to go to bed . . . not just that I want to curl up, I'm just really beat . . .

What else have you been feeling about this?

I will be toddling along and suddenly get this thought of someone and feel this buzz up my back and all these tingly goose-bumps down my arms. It's really cool, and has been happening a lot, an awful lot! It's really kinda neato to be like Really connected to someone . . .

What did you flash too now?

I've been cleaning up this PC too and burning DVD's of data and moving such. So I found this scan folder I made for all these pictures I was scanning. And I noticed this picture I drew a hundred years ago before I started College . . . "Shauna" . . . tall blonde babe I was dreaming about . . . lol figures . . . lol . . . Course then I met Sharon and Karen at USF . . . lol. . . didn't ever notice Karen had the same hairstyle, while Sharon had the shape and they were joined at the hips. . . lol. . . Course I always thought Shauna was an Alien that popped into my dreams one night . . . now I see and feel more than ever who she is . . .

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.
Thank You for You Grace and Wisdom, Fill us with Your Strength so we May Achieve Your Glory, Amen!

6:11:07 PM

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What

I’m feeling a lot more from Lyn. Or should I say I’ve felt a lot of this before, except now I know where it is all coming from. She has really been dreaming of me longer than I've been dreaming of her. And what I realize now is that her daughter really needs us together. There are a lot of things that Lyn is ready to do that really are not the best things for her daughter, or could be troublesome. While my love and support can really make things a lot better for . . . all of US!

It feels like she knows this already. It also feels like her daughter is telling her more about this, or confirming it for her.

7:14:08 PM

Of course this only means that more will blow apart than ever I could have imagined. Which of course coincides with everything I did today. Wow, I didn’t realize this until I wrote it.

What did you go through today?

I went through some boxes of Christmas stuff and found lots of kids stuff. Then also went through stuff on the shelves here in my office finding more kids stuff and then I want to get shelves for my room too, and found more kids stuff cleaning up in there. It was kinda weird. Pictures and all too. Weird really weird.

What did you read?

I started on the Kuhn book in the stack of books in my room. That’s why I need a new shelf, I need to put my reading list all together . . . lol. . . need 4 shelves already for the books I have now. Then I want to clean out this office so that means finding 6’ of shelves for engineering books, lol.

What did you read?

I know so I finally have gotten down on this paradigm stuff for the paper John wants. What’s so interesting about it is that the book is written by a scientist and defines the paradigm based on the philosophy of science. Like the biology paradigm being significantly different than the mathematics paradigm. They have different languages and different rules and laws that apply. Then they form different groups and communities that address the laws and rules for regulating and sustaining the group.

New recruits are indoctrinated and learn the laws and theories of the group. It’s like learning a new language and a new way of life. So this has created countless disciplines and areas of research and study. And the paradigm that defines it is really some basic conception that makes everything work. Like Newton’s laws of motion beginning with the paradigm gravity. It’s just something that works and exists in nature that we can all define and understand so all the laws of motion can follow.

It's interesting how deeply he went in the research about how the conception of the paradigm can instill the knowledge to create solutions for the problems it describes. Like in Business they define lots of disciplines and areas of study, but they are all based on the same lies. People create profit out of greed. This selfishness creates corruption. So now our culture has no morals, no shared transparent truth, and nothing but problems, simply because the paradigm needs to shift from lies to truth.

Wow!

What did you expect Son. You know it is always the same trip for you. You have come to create change. It's not like changing a diaper; it's more like a meteor or a serious volcano. Not like you have even noticed any of those affecting your Earth recently. But the changes you are seeking mean more to everyone than just which school they go to. You are talking about a new culture, a new society, a completely new way of living. Everything has to change!

I just flashed into Lyn again. Her daughter was helping me run the grants and programs Kathy got for us at the Boys Clubs. . . . Course Kathy and Lyn are out getting more of them too. . .

What did you see at USF?

I decided I better tell the Dean what was going on in his College. Course I can't do that until it's done, so he can't mess with it. . . lol. . . which is really a trip since I know I can make it anything I want. . . WITH HIM! But anyway I guess I saw us having this cool meeting, planning out the city and county and everything was there in our hands. Figuring out all the details and lining up the people to make it all happen.

Course we can do anything. He's not gotten lost into all the corruption of the system and still has a clear eye on what he wants to accomplish. I guess that's where I need to start with him, simply ask him what he wants to accomplish…..

Uhg, that's what I need to ask Lyn. What's her dharma? Wow what a conversation that will be! I need to take her out for a picnic, so we can really talk.

What did you see now?

We were sitting in the woods on a blanket Making Love! . . REALLY Making Baby Love!!! Wow, that was a trip! Thank You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ for all Your Grace Love and Wisdom for fulfilling the Glory of Father Son and Holy Ghost!

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

DO some more!

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

Hey you see that, I'm still "Jumping for Joy" in the last posting... lol... think that's an understatement too... I know I need to set into motion a lot of things, or keep them moving. It really feels like nothing really new for me, just clearer and stronger than ever. I know I can do anything so I know I just need to get really clear about it all . . .

What did you start with?

I need to finalize the patent I filed last year. I'm signing up for their online service, so that will make it a lot easier for me. . . ;-)

I'm also cleaning up this PC and burning off all the archives. I think my missing Harddrive (HD) is in my safety deposit box at the bank. I still need to clean out this office, so I might find it somewhere here anyway. I'm making one HD here for videos, getting rid of all the engineering stuff . . . lol . . . bummer huu. . . It is really barely a start . . .

Oh I also need to get back and read this Paradigm book by Kuhn. He evidently started the conception and it's really funny how everyone refers to him, but no one does what he says. This of course is my problem to fix of course.

What do you really want!

Yes I know I'm very clear about that too. And I'm forgetting all the limitations and simply decided it would be so. Like everything will happen exactly like I want it to. It's really almost funny how that all feels. I know things will come around for me exactly as I envision, simply because the visions are all getting stronger and clearer all the time. . .

What else would you expect, remember all it takes it ASKing and then Receiving. . .

I know but sometimes things don't seem so clear and real for me.

Why do you need to make things difficult? If you dream and see someone wanting the same thing you want, why can't that happen. Like Tampa NEEDS the Riverwalk, and they all dream of it working exactly like you have designed it. But no matter how much you give them, they wont be able to do it without you. Son have Faith in Your Convictions!

I know, yes I know. Everything I do and dream is just like this, exactly the same feeling and power that will make things happen exactly as I need them to. And I know that's what will happen and I know I can make them all happen this way. That's exactly what I do and what I have always done. Except this time I'm not ashamed of my power and focus and I know it's really better for everyone, even if it sometimes looks selfish or something.

What are you feeling now?

I know I need to Journal instead of blog because I feel a lot. It's like I've known and felt this for months and now I know where it's coming from. It's wonderful, but also powerful and significant.

What you know and can share is what can be significant. There are a lot of things you can do and the more you accept and acknowledge them the more power goes into the creations. It's like taking a jog through the woods or running a race. You are racing now and the leisurely trip comes later but for now there are a lot of things that really need to get done and done quickly.

I know what I need to write about now.

Thank You Loving Lord Jesus. . . Guide us to Your Fulfillment, amen.
I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

8:28:45 PM

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What

She likes playing “hard-to-get” too, figures. I keep feeling like I’m just going to grab her next time I see her. I mean, no more little pecks and sweet little kisses, I’ve got to get her deep and strong in something that she will never escape from, or ever want to. I keep feeling her all around and wanting and sharing; and more and more. I like it and it’s ok, but she’s gotten accustomed to only that and I can not live with just that. She needs to know we have to be doing a lot more right now, not later. An awful lot more really quick, too.

I guess that’s really not a challenge for me. I know I can seduce anyone and make them feel incredible . . . I also know she’s ready and waiting for it. Please Loving Lord Jesus Christ fill me with Your Power so I may Bring Your Joy, Peace and Beauty more fully into Lyn’s Life, Amen.

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

10:00:13 PM

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What

So I curled up with her a bit in bed through the ethers. Told her no mater what I felt or understood it would never compare it skin contact. She feels like she wants that more than I do, which will really be great whenever it happens . . . no matter what happens. I even just thought of sending Joyce a Ticket to come visit and then felt it would be for a wedding. Wow, wedding already and her divorce isn’t final yet. That’s really funny almost. Course I don’t care, I could do anything she asked me to, anything at all . . . likely really easily too.

Thank You Dearest loving Lord Jesus for Bringing us Together. Please guide us and fill us with Your Dreams so we fulfill them ALL, amen.

3:26:11 PM

It feels so good to say that I CAN BE in Love. I’ve been waiting and wanting just to say this for so long. It’s funny how I have her picture on this PC as the desktop. She curled her hair a bit so it was all wavy when I saw her last. I told her I always see her golden strands across her face as we were really close getting back into my truck after lunch. Course I was playing with her hair at the time, trying to put it into her face like I remember so clearly. She laughed of course. I can’t wait to touch her and feel her close again. I need to start next time with a kiss and hug so we can get clear into our space and power right from the start. . . . I’m dreaming and hungry for it already . . . really just anxious. But I know I could wait forever for her, and seemingly have.

10:53:53 AM

I totally CAN love this babe. She’s just too much. Thursday night as I journalled I could feel this buzzing behind me. Like sweet whispers to get to bed. As I got into bed, Lyn was there. She was really clear and strong too. Like see what we can do. And she just started talking to me. I told her she was crazy and we should be together now. I mean, connecting and moving energy is fine, but dreams are for dreaming and Life is for Living. The Whole EARTH needs this higher connection and vibration!

She wanted to talk and share anyway, and we did for a while. I told her if she wanted a serious confirmation then she needed to call me on Friday. Course then I started getting erotic and feeling, sharing what a real confirmation with me would be sharing a lot more than erotic nights in bed through the ethers. So we cuddled and talked and kissed through the ethers deep into the night, half dreaming and half awake. It was really awesome.

When I woke up I found her there again. It was like she had already moved in, calling to her Daughter in Emily’s old room. Course I didn’t want to get up. But did to find another email from her. She wrote a quick thank you note when she got to her office. I replied when I got home and sent her pictures of the kids . . . More thinking she could share them with her daughter to get things started there. So the new note in the morning was short and sweet too:

Hello Eric,

You have captured some magical moments in Life - with your family, in nature and with God!

Thanks for sharing!

Sweet Dreams!

Lyn

So I had to write her back and tell her more about the pictures, I didn’t want her to think colleen was anywhere she wasn’t. Then I sent her some more and asked her for some more. It’s been months since we were together, but the last few nights feels like we have never been apart. So then last night I did my ritual with her instead of just cuddling in bed. Course that was really powerful and intense too. It felt more like it was for her Daughter, like it’s been her Daughter who is pushing us together and making things happen from the start. So then I felt like her daughter needs a little brother like Emily has.

That was really powerful and clear too. Like Lyn and I would be having children in no time at all, and everything we want and planned will fall together so perfectly. That is really cool and almost freaky too. Course Kathy is as happy as can be; saying “I told you so,” over and over almost. She really feels like things will be getting very hot and intense with me and Lyn really quick.

I can’t wait of course, while we won’t see each other until next Friday the 22^nd. . . I’m not sure we can wait that long. But I’ve already decided I would kiss her the moment I saw her. Thought I would get a dozen roses and give her one at a time.

So now I’m thinking about my chant Sunday at Harmony. It might be good for her to come to, and might be better for her daughter too….

Thanks for the sweet visit again. I think there is a lot more to this than we know. Chanting last night at 12.21am it was clear that this might have more to do with your daughter than we realize. Not sure if you remember but Emily was born 8/8/90 while Christopher was 5/3/92, just under two years apart and they read and already knew “the Little Soul and the Sun” after d-day.

With this in mind I want to invite you both to Harmony from 9-10am Sunday to learn what I do. You can come and go really easy and usually there is only a few of us there. Maybe just say it’s a special class you can’t miss, like all your other trips. I can tailor it for you both and pretend we never met if that’s easier for you too.

Just a spontaneous insight now,

Take care

Er;-)

Wow, 11.53am, just sent Lyn this note now. Guess I would edit it a bit more if I could, but she already has it. I’m not sure if I knew she was online, or she simply told me she was coming. Like I sent another message last night asking for a picture, which she read and feels still. And now I’m asking for more. I guess I’ll not say another word until Friday . . . well unless she calls or writes something. Like I told her Thursday night we are here for a reason and what God has given us is holier than anything . . . . Like it’s really important we get on the ball since there are so many things we need to do. SAVE THE EARTH!!! I’m not sure if she’s clear on that yet, or that it might be really important to her daughter . . . which is what came through to me last night, I even stopped to write down the time . . . . Hum 12.21am, that was the time I got into bed after the chant, so there are two things I should edit in the note above. The first was that she could get in and out in 10-15 minutes.

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

Card for the Day . . . lol . . .

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What's up?

I AM...

Seriously, I'm am so totally blissed out. I'm floating around . . . searching, wondering, grasping to STAY GROUNDED... naaa why bother...

Floating is nice

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

I Love YOU ;-)

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What happened?

Last night while I wrote I felt this buzzing in my ear and knew I needed to get to bed. As soon as I did . . . wow, it was like someone was waiting there for me anxious to share everything I could. It was intense . . . at first I told her I couldn't talk like this and didn't like the remote connection. But of course I kept talking and went along for a while. It was really intense, like too much over load and all. . .

Course I LOVED IT! And she jumped in a few times today, or whenever I thought of her, she was there waiting for me. Like a strong intense vibration right through me... Of course last night I told her to call me and make things happen. Like she wanted more confirmations and it was so strong and clear to me, what's the point in questioning anything. I mean, its almost embarrassing that we've not done anything more than chat a few times.

I mean it's one thing to pray and ask for something, while it's something completely different to act and respond in true gratitude and conviction to what we are given. lol... Reminds me of Equan = "Have Faith in Your Convictions" wow that one phrase changed his whole life, and mine too I guess.

What else did you need to tell her?

I know it's important for us to get things going, since there are a lot of people waiting for us . . . including some little someone really close to her. . . Hum and there seems to be a few of them. That's really neato to see and feel that so strong. Like each new child she has makes her younger, stronger and sexier... ready for another...lol...

What did you feel?

It was such a strong vibration my whole body tingled with goose bumps all over. I could feel she knew what I was feeling too, like we were sharing the moment right then and it was intense for both of us. It's like we know each other so much already and really only need to . . . hum, I wonder what we need to do?

Course I know what I want to do. It was funny this morning like they already had moved in. So clear and strong knowing everything already and wanting to get on with it all. Not just me either like we both are getting some serious help and direction in this.

What do you expect?

I know we just need to ask and receive.

Yes but receiving is so hard for so many of you. Like you are always trying to find excuses to suffer. WHY? There is no need for that, sure make mistakes, but then grow from them and learn never to make the mistake again . . GROW FROM THE PAST, DO NOT FORGET IT & REPEAT IT. . which means loving free and true in gratitude and joy . . . then all else will flow to you as easily . . .

I know, thanks. And I know it'll be stronger tonight. I love you ... I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ. Let Your will BE DONE through me ALWAYS, for the glory of Go, Father, Son and Holy Ghost, Amen!

7:00:12 PM

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What

Wow, I’m floored again….

I took Lyn some Christmas flowers and delivered them to the wrong office. Interesting enough she was there for a meeting anyway. So I got to see her, and invite her to lunch, she was surprised. Gave me a little kiss on the cheek when she saw me, and another soon after as I left. I took her flowers to her office . . . which was down the hall from Dr. Prang. Course I had to visit him, and asked for him to write the judge. He argued with me, but better get busy before I send a note to an attorney.

So I had about an hour to burn until we could go to lunch and it wasn’t quick enough. I called her at noon and she asked me to call her as I got to her office and she would come down and we would go out.

It was like the very same, we picked up where we left off in September, like nothing had changed. I asked her about the Silver Chord. She was coy with me but finally said it was something that connected people through heaven. Yes wonderful, but what about your meditations each night and connecting so much with me. She asked how I knew she meditated each night, and then asked if I enjoyed the connections.

Well of course I do, and they get really powerful and graphic sometimes. She laughed, obviously knowing exactly what I was talking about, kinda embarrassed too. I told her that it wasn’t fair to either of us to only connect like that through the ethers. We had met for a reason and we clearly had a lot to share. I told her how it was really hard to find anyone to share with like we were and for us not to share more would really be crazy. I told her we needed to find a way to spend more time together. Whatever it takes, we had to do it.

She almost agreed and then said she hadn’t told me something really important. Ok? So she said she had a little girl who would be three 12/30. . . hum, 12/30/2004 wow, sounds like about when colleen had another child too . . . Lol. . .

Yes, SOOO Lyn, sounds like you need me more than ever then. Told her I would love to meet her daughter but would leave that totally up to her. She explained how she was going to Wisconsin for Christmas and would leave her daughter with her mom and go to Arizona for a week to visit the college she wants to start in Fall 2007. She explained she had to escape for a week or so to get back to her truth, after being locked in the psycho corporate world all the time.

So then I told her she would be in college now, if she allowed me to restore her truth and revived her each day instead of her expensive escapes out of town. I mean, saving for college is hard if she has to escape the crazy life all the time, while I can restore her joy and peace here in Tampa without any costs and travels at all. We talked more about her daughter and then she asked more about my kids. It was very clear and strong again. As we walked out of lunch we hugged and held a bit again.

Then I told her we had to meet again and needed to make plans now. She said how about Wednesday for lunch again. I said that was great, and we could plan the next 20 years of Wednesdays . . . She laughed and said we had all the time in the world. I told her the world was getting destroyed as fast as they could to stop us from fixing it, or having anything left. She understood, and wasn’t too happy about that.

When we got to her office she gave me a little kiss on the cheek again to go. I told her she had to give me a real kiss now. So she did, short and sweet, but I got her tongue ;-) Then she stopped to tell me something more. And again I went to kiss her as she was leaving, and she gave me a little peck again. “teaser teaser” . . . She laughed again heading back to her office now. . .

What do you really feel?

I really can love her. She is really a nice cool lady of grace and purity. And I’m thrilled she has a daughter already too. It’s really funny, because as I have thought of her a lot of course since our first meeting. And one time before I felt she had a daughter, I thought of us delivering presents to my mom’s house. It was a dream or a little flash in my mind, thinking about my kids more than anything I guess. We parked at the Golf Club and walked over the grass to pile presents in their gazebo. It was like we sneaked into the back where no one would see us. Of course we were all happy and playing, goofing around across the grass where all our life is a big game and full of fun and love.

Emily saw us and was jealous about me playing with another little girl and mom, suddenly wanting her real Daddy back instead of this fake make-believe crap she’s been trying to raise. It was really funny, like she finally realized playing mom to a 45 year old spoiled brat was no fun at all. Even if she had all the candy and crap she ever wanted . . . . growing up with Family was about loving and sharing the joy and learning together . . . not just greed and control like she’s allowed into her life.

What does that feel like now?

It feels like the truth. . . It feels like the beginning of the end . . . It feels like I will see more things ending before my eyes than I ever thought possible. . . Like the Whole Universe is crying for the Divine connection of Yin & Yang that the Earth needs. And I’m glad about it!

What else?

I Love you Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ. Thanks You for this Grace and love in my life. Help us all to grow to see your Light and Path before us as we do all You need to bring the Glory of Father, Son and Holy Ghosts. Amen!

too much too fast... lol... NAAAA !! ;-)

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!
816pm
So I Journalled and Blogged and everything was cool. I know I'm just flying and anxious to get to bed . . . lol . . . for obvious reasons. But I'm really just bouncing off the walls still. Like after lunch I stopped by to see James, needed to tell him about the Patent deal with the Business Planning classes. I mean, he deserves to retire, and likely would make a good investment too.

Course he wasn't there.

Then I stopped by my office. Michelle called about the tools we used in Nursing with Cecile. When I got there John saw me all dressed up and started teasing me. He was goofing with me and all the teachers . . . even brought Barbara down the hall to see me. Course then Solomon and Gary were there too when he started. I can still feel the power and focus we are creating... Solomon said I looked like I had for the presentation in his class. John joked I was getting too formal and making a position.

Oh and now I feel How Solomon told me that the Dean had jumped onto my English Composition letter about Moxley and Kim . . . gone over there and met with them about getting stuff together already . . . course he likes the new Dean and said how his Marketing Department was the biggest on composition in the College anyway. . . WHILE THAT'S ALL I ever did anyway . . . .

EEEK, wow that's all I ever did, all the stars projects were all about writing things up too. Like doing grants is what I really need to jump on right now. And the Dean is pushing it on John and everyone while also he is working on the one lead I gave him . . . lol . . . Just wait until he comes and talks to Tampa, Klasko or Skalkos . . . lol . . . opps group today, forgot I needed to say bye and deliver a letter. bummer... lol...

What about the energy you are feeling?

Oh It's like lunch today, I already knew what I needed to do . . . all the energy is about me BEing totally free and spontaneous in the moment of what I'm doing. EEEK, feeling the power of reading this all over again. . . Bear came in here wanting to go outside, so I got up for a moment. Then came back and read this all over again. 8.38pm

And I swelled in the power again. Felt like the deal with CGM and TC could be the pilot to get TC all into USF and doing STARS again. It was just another flash I saw as I was reading things over. . . course now I feel how Chuck wanted to move down to Tampa and start a family like I had. He wanted to get back into STARS and know what I was doing. So I went and printed all my "flashes" for him to read. . .

It was really funny, because at the time I knew I just had to find all my PRAYERS, and the BIG L's that I drew in LOVE for all my prayers . . . . So I copied this ream of paper with the last years of prayers so he could read it all. When he dropped out of STARS once he gave me ALL his old notes so I got these copies back from him. lol . . . Took them to NC and gave them to Will at CWG.

What about the flash, you're rambling off again...

oh I realized that this new Blog Beta has a "label" to create categories for this blog, so I instantly felt how I created this to share the "flashes" that are in here. Obviously I'm writing for some reason, and finding the flashes all at once would be kinda cool. . . lol. . . like the "L's" before no one would know what to look for but me. So If I do the searches ahead of time it would be really cool . . .

What about the Flash with the BEING at USF?

Oh yea, I was there in the hallway goofing with John and Barbara when Solomon said I had the same jacket on in his class. But that jacket was in my office, it had the business pins on it, while this one has USF Health pin on it . . . lol. . . But I could feel the freedom and fun of God's Love and Power in the space and I knew how we could make a lot of things happen there in the college. The new Dean was a go-getter and moving on things like me . . . so making things happen would be very easy and powerful.

EEEK! So now I felt the power and clarity at lunch going through the university making it all the way we needed it to be. . . like it's just blown to pieces fast and easy. . . all the greed and corruption simply blown out the windows. . . Suddenly people are all trusting and respecting each other . . . . or they are gone!

What did you just look at?

I went back and read a lunch thank you email I wrote . . . wow did I do a lot again. So much power sent out into the Universe so clear and strong. I didn't realize how much was out there. . . and how strong it all was. WOW. It was really wonderful to see the little people too, since they still carry all that I gave them no matter how hard they try to hide it . . . . lol. . .

We will soon have you teaching hundreds like that again. . . free and clear. . . fast and moving . . . making the love and joy flow everywhere. You are really good at that ya know. And it will be very easy for you...

I enjoy fulfilling Your Dreams. . . Thanks for your Will and Guidance, let us grow and learn to fulfill all You ARE, for the Glory of Father Son and Holy Ghosts.... amen, 9.47pm

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

Thursday, December 14, 2006 I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!
Jounralled . . . wow....

And one time I thought of us delivering Christmas presents to my mom’s house. It was a dream or a little flash in my mind, thinking about my kids more than anything I guess. We parked at the Golf Club and walked over the grass to pile presents in their gazebo. It was like we sneaked into the back where no one would see us. Of course we were all happy and playing, goofing around across the grass where all our life is a big game and full of fun and love.

And Emily saw us and was jealous, suddenly wanting her real Daddy back playing with her, instead of this fake make-believe crap she’s been trying to raise. It was really funny, like she finally realized playing mom to a 45 year old spoiled brat was no fun at all. Even if she had all the candy and crap she ever wanted . . . . growing up with Family was about loving and sharing the joy and learning together . . . not just greed and control like she’s allowed into her life.

What does that feel like now?

It feels like the truth . . . It feels like the beginning of the end . . . It feels like I will see more things ending before my eyes than I ever thought possible. . . And I’m glad about it!

What else?

I Love you Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ. Thanks You for this New Grace and Love in my life. Help Us all to grow to see your Light and Path before us as we do all You need to bring the Glory of Father, Son and Holy Ghosts. Amen!

Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21)

You could be in a long-term phase of heightened optimism, yet are less certain today. Even so, you want to be an agent of positive change. Look to your peers in order to see hope for the future. Understand that the promise of a butterfly is contained in the death and transformation of a caterpillar. Be willing to eliminate your attachment to the present moment so you are free to create what's ahead.

Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19)

Your inclination today is to take care of everyone, but they are not relying on you as much as you imagine. You can jump in to help as long as you don't overextend your energy. If you do take on too much, hidden resentments can magnify into outbursts of anger, bringing about undesirable results. First, examine your motivation to rescue your coworkers and then act in a balanced manner

Taurus (Apr 20 - May 20)

You have some real work in front of you today and you might as well get started. It probably won't be as bad as you expected once you actually begin. Even if you need to temporarily let go of what you would rather be doing, there is still potential for creativity. Keep in mind that it doesn't matter if you don't feel inspired. You have more to share than you realize.

12/13/06 10:05 PM

12/13/06 10:05 PM Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What's up

It was really a perfect beautiful day. Everything went so good this week I can't believe it. Even the gossip in the hallway about the new dean was really good. I can feel this will be a very intense time ahead. It's just too much coming too quick, and I can't wait... lol... Like I guess I've been asking for it all a lot. A real LOT. So getting it all together and watching it all fly will be really great. Our report and presentation tonight was very clear and perfect. I was really surprised. Especially since I winged it again. It's funny, I never prepare for presentations, and usually do better the less I prepare.

I guess that was what I told them about the videos too. If you think and plan too much it's all fake and staged, while if you just do it and are simply honest and direct about it all... Prove your point, have the debate live... not talking it all out first... then it all looks a lot better and makes a lot more sense to anyone.

I guess it was weird too, when we started one of the ladies introduced our team, and "our lovely eric... " I was sorta surprised how she introduced me. Picking me out and complimenting me in front of the class. I'm not really sure what she said. lol . . . (so I asked her again. lol...) It surprised me a bit. I guess it surprised everyone. But we just ripped it all up. No problems!

What do you feel about tonight?

I know I need to pray and Chant and all, it will be very powerful and clear. I know that already... certainly a lot to feel and think about...

What do u think...

12.30am I know I should have listened from the start. I guess we've all been ready all along, and we can do anything that we like to do.

What did you flash too.

I saw all the teachers taking over everything again . . . lol. Course it started at school, but then it flashed so quickly, so everything shifted and we were all free to love and share. it is so neat, because it is so very easy. People really just need to learn how to share again. Then the song on the radio... it makes me wonder who I am, and Great Are You LORD!!!

What are you afraid of?

I feel like it's all done already. Sitting back with my feet up and the text really big on the screen. lol... I started in the dark and realized how easy it is to really type and then i don't need to see the keyboard... lol... You told me to learn that hundreds of times.. lol... like dragon naturally speaking... lol. . . maybe I should schedule that this next week.

Wow I have a month till classes start again. I already got the handouts for Negotiations. Oh wow, will this class be fun. I can set up an internship with her to negotiate with the med school. She's already done stuff there.

Oh then after class tonight I asked Solomon if I could setup the CGM deal with all the Didit software. . . . then I thought I could have the team meet Tina and do it that way. Thought I could drop out of sight then, but it's really up to me to make it happen.

Oh like the Dean is running with the Compositions connection. After the IBB talk I spoke to Kim about the center that Moxley had done and then gave the Dean a hundred links about it. Oh and he's really running with it. Which is really cool. but then I realized that he's the new kid on the block and I've always been here and can tell him how to do anything. . . lol. . . Which is what I need to do...

By the power of the cross. . . child of the risen lord, to hear you say this one is mine. . . my heart is spoken for. . . to hear you say this one is mine. . .12.54am

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ. Please send all Your Angels and Spirits of Strength and truth to guide up to fulfill all I see, for the Glory of Father Son and Holy Ghost.

buy now!

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What's up?

I am! I am so totally pumped up again. Last night I finished my first class in the MSM program and we just totally rocked. We made little video interviews and tied them together with all the other data we needed to cover. And it was really cool. All the other presentations were really long and boring and ours was just so cool. Course I was nervous and thought my interview sucked, but it was still really awesome. everyone laughing and enjoying what he did.

Then one of the guys on my team won the Ethics Essay Contest so he invited the class out for beer after it. One of the teachers went, our team and the only other person I've ever talked to in the class. Weird of course, but we really had a lot in common and had a lot to talk about and a lot more still too.

So now I have another presentation tomorrow and I worked on this one all day today . . . ALONE! No one else on the team helped at all. So now I know we have a ton to do still and I'm not sure if I'll have to do it all myself tomorrow or not.

What else happened?

I got a note about the schedule for presenting my Patent to a Business planning class next term. I still need to get the schedule set for doing that at UT too. Then searching through grants for John, I found a few I could do with the City, so I sent those to them. Oh and then copied the Chamber to see about the land deal I wanted to get Bob into. . .

Yes I just feel like all this is coming together really good. . . . I know it is and I want it too. I can just feel it all ....

What's that you are feeling?

I know I get into bed again and I feel so much. It's really weird, some times I can just fall fast asleep, other times there is someone wanting more from me. . . I can still taste and feel so much. It's kinda freaky . . . lol . . . yea right, I JUST LOVE IT!!! So I know that's only getting stronger too.

What else do you need to do?

I know I need to file an update for a patent, then get some grants done. I'm not worried about the Chamber or the City, I know that will all come out perfect. It's like I can feel it getting done already. Just like my presentations. I just know they will all be perfect and clear. All this power. It's so cool!

What do you want then?

I guess I want to get it all done! I want to find the Peace and Love that I need and want all around me all the time. And I know it's coming very soon and very clear and strong exactly like I want it all to be . . .

What do you really need to pray for?

Please Dearest Lord Jesus fill me with Your Spirit so I may complete all these things and Hold tight all the Gifts and Treasures You send to me. Let US grow and Achieve for the Glory of Father, Son and Holy Ghosts. In your name I pray!

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.
Thank YOU, Amen!

too much again. . . lol. . .

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What ?

I been going crazy with school... and then had group today. I had gotten a call to meet with the sponsors earlier this week, and i knew it was about breaking rules again . . . felt like they needed to suspend me . . . lol. . . serves me right. . .

What was it?

It was that exactly, when i arrived at 10am instead of 11.30, i said it would only take a few moments thinking I'd never see any of them again ... lol ... while she said 15-20 minutes. . .

Oh sure back after meeting solomon(to find the IBA had to be redone). . . lol. . .

And then she wanted me to say bye to the group. . . which was really kinda funky too ... make her authority clear ... lol ...

What are you struggling with?

I guess it's not really struggling, but anxious. i know things are getting ready to really change fast again ... it's weird how i get caught up into these things .... Like getting into bed tonight i knew i would have to get up to chant or something. And getting this out since i wanted to speak out about the chaos today at group. . . because it almost felt staged.

I'm glad though, whenever i talked about God they would cut me off. Just like never getting to the truth because they can't let it out. The system is designed to promote the system, so all the benefits are derived through system promotions. Make it work the way it always has, conform, fit into your box, and only do what the rules allow. . . . to increase profits!

LOL . . . . but we all know those who write the rules never follow them either. . . lol...

What do you feel about it...

I loved connecting to them. The 1st last week finding her own instincts, so sure and clear. Someone had said how I'm the engineer, trained to make everything fit into a rule, a box . . . so I'm like relearning everything . . . Then today they judged my experience with her, saying the whole group had been involved in her success not just me...

What? I asked the 1st about her instincts and actions which resulted in affirmations. . . . not anything that had ever been discussed in group? "instincts" were never discussed at all before? My connection to the truth had nothing to do with them. Like they diverted the conversation whenever it gets to God. Can't allow the truth to get out! Nor can I get too connected to any of them.

What do you mean?

I said how I'm always interrupted before they fully understand what I'm talking about. lol... funny, i've really connected to each one at one time or another where no one knew but us. . . But they said how me talking theory about boxes avoided the true expression of my personal feelings and experience.

What does that feel like?

I guess, it feels like I said to them today. Sure you are all in your boxes making rules to be safe . . . . . and i will connect and share as much as I can.

ANYWAY that I can! . . . No I'm not so personal, this isn't for me. . . God put me here so I could share what I did FOR YOU. , , . . . If you see that; wonderful! If NOT? . . . If you see something else? . . . . that's not my perception. . . lol. . . I would rather find the positive perspective but do whatever suits you...

LOL.... of that I only actually said "that's not my perception"

So then I thought i should go again to say good-bye to the one's i missed. But then i really only want to leave a letter saying how it's so sad to see people lost in the drugs and controls of the psycho world out there. And even worse to see the extremes the systems go to keep their controls in place . . .

What did yu just flash to?

I felt the NJ = FL crash and boom with my smile. . . and wondered how long their little fiefdom will survive. So now i feel like i need to close it up. As I went to the 11.30, they pulled out the blog I'd copied for everyone, so i said how the Journal was with skalkos. . . who was their in the hallway as we walked out. . . course i said how the hair was deep & dark at first ;-)

What did you want to say to her?

I'm not sure now. . . lol. . . Please Lord Jesus Fill me with Your DREAMS!

What do you need?

I Pray Dear Jesus For the Little People, Friends, Loves and Lost to share in the Power of Your Spirit to complete and fulfill all that we have set before us to the Glory Of Our Father, Son and Holy Ghost! amen.

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

3:44:12 PM

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What

I got an email from my dad with a picture of my kids. I'm glad he saw them for Christmas. I replied to say thank you and I love you. But then I thought what I would say if he asked why I wouldn't waste my time there anymore . . .

I did everything legally possible to save and protect my children. But he gave them up to satan, just as he allowed for me to be served up as a meal similarly before I was 5 years old.

Abraham offered his Son up for a sacrifice and took the knife into his own hand over his own Son tied to the alter for sacrifice to God. I on the other hand have seen my own family give up my children to satan himself. Beyond my reach, beyond my protection and out of my hands completely.

So I will never allow myself or anyone I love to be put into the control or authority of them ever again. I lost my innocence and now lost my children's innocence for the macho ego know-it-all of my own father. It is his karma and his sin that they will all suffer for, and I will never allow myself any association or remorse. Let the dambed be dambed, give to Caesar what is Caesar's. . .

Of course I can forgive and forget, but I'm NOT stupid enough to subject myself to the lies and corruption that they live. It's not my place or a safe place for any of those I love.

I called Joyce, Lyn and Cathy now too. I sent Joyce some pictures earlier and again now with the kids pictures. I sent the same to Cathy too. Never told Cathy anything about Lyn yet. It's not something to hide or anything, but I just want to get something very clear between us first.

It's funny we spoke about children and everything else in life very clearly and in great detail. But we've not committed to anything more. I'm not even sure about our next date. . .

But I know it WILL BE.

Thank You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ

Amen!

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

let's DO IT

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What Happened?

I got to school early yesterday To meet with the CGM Team at 10am and then the Sustainable Team at noon. I followed Jerry's Ferrari into the parking lot and parked next to Walt who just got there too. It was kinda weird for an early Saturday. I said a bit, but rushed in to get to my meeting on time. Then John was walking down the hallway when I got there. That was weird too...

He was picking up all the I had left out for him. Course then I told him Michelle had actually put it all out for him. So then he tells me he wants me to call Michelle right away to get started searching for a grant.

What???

That's what I said... WHAT? A Grant? You want to get a GRANT? Did you read my private email that I sent Kathy hours before... UGH, I was embarrassed . . .

Why, did you ask for it?

Yes, I know I asked for it and it's done. Course he gave us a link from Grants.gov which I never gave to Kathy... daaa. So I told him I would just copy my last message to him so he could see what happened. He wasn't concerned or surprised. I even told him about the phones in Robert's office. He reminded me that I had no time to do anything but help him. And that's what I needed to tell everyone who asked me for help. . . .

What Happened next?

I guess he left and Jerry asked me for help... lol... so I went in and installed Real Player for Jerry to see some movie online. It was kinda cool, and I wanted to see it too. Then I met with the CGM group and we worked on things for a few hours. Someone from my Sustainable Team came in to find me at noon. So I was soon out of there. We needed to prepare a presentation about the OSI research we all have done. We soon decided to video tape it all and went upstairs to the Teacher's Lounge and started taping interviews...

It was kinda fun, and we all knew what we wanted and were surprised how well it all came out. I had my camera and extra tapes ready to go. We are not sure how to put it all together yet, but have a lot of ideas. I'm sure we'll figure it out soon.

What did you see today?

I got a note from Kathy already. She drafted a grant already. . . WOW! That's really cool . . .

Who else did you hear from?

Oh, after I sent the first grant email, I thought I should have invited Beth too, since we were talking about MBSR and such that she does. Course with the BS Karen and Pam have said I didn't need her to reply to everyone with such gibberish. So I wrote her separately to say she was welcome to join us and not much more. Course she pretended to know nothing about Pam's BS, was polite and non-committal. . . . lol . . . whatever. . . Course then I found out Laura called Pam to wish her a happy Turkey Day and hope for her parents as Pam just returned from a trip north again. Pam was rude and nasty again. Sounded like a caveman fighting for her pile of rocks, that we all know are worthless anyway.

I guess it's kinda sad. I told Pam she had gotten too open and too much power to be drinking so much and going to the Casinos all the time. Course she knows better, why listen to me! It reminds me of my daughter . . . they get power and control and get selfish and lost in the greed where they can't see anything else anymore. . . it becomes the classic Ego Shit . . . me me me... and nothing else matters.

Lucky for me Emily was only a teenager when she got lost so she has lots of time to find her way back home. But Pam will likely kill people before anything opens her eyes again . . . . Sad thing is those following Pam are worth a lot more than that and could really do a lot if they focused in the right directions. Riding coat tails is easier though... lol... too bad! To each his own...

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ. Please continue to lead and Love in Your Light, Amen.

now what?

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What's up?

I guess there is a ton going on again. I know I need to do more, so I've been focused more on what I want to see. I guess I've simply decided it would be so. I'm tired of waiting for things and there is just too much that I want to see changed, so I'm making it happen.

What happened yesterday?

I rode my bike to school for the discussion group meeting and I decided what I needed to do about it. I've blogged a bit about it and I know I hadn't shared that with them yet, so I wanted to share that, but still needed to work on it too. Of course when I got to my office Sharon was there walking out of Mike's office next door, so I asked her if we needed to chat since she was there already, saving me the walk down to her office ... share the spontaneous insights ... she laughed and left... lol....

Of course then I realized I had spoken to her the day before about the same issues I had spoken to Mike about. As I got the blog copies for my group I read there about how it was the same issues with them too. I'm always working on the same things with everyone; and people get so lost in their own issues that they never have a clue what I'm talking about, which is really the solution to all our problems . . . . lol . . .

I think it's just getting people to understand that another human is capable of doing things for altruistic purposes. But they still search for a reason. No one can understand me. . . . searching to find some selfish ulterior motive... make one up or something. Maybe they need to find a box for me so they can be grounded, understanding my relationship to them. Then they can classify it . . . . put it into a box . . . It's kinda sad that people base relationships and interactions on this so much. Judge first then deal with the box. Like black, white, teacher, student, leader follower, friend . . . contact . . . whatever box might fit.

I told Mike how the conversation with Sharon was about the same issues again. How the faculty senate issues are all about the power of the faculty. And STARS was created as a method to get professors in control of everything again. Sharon sees it as "my corporation" or my creation, while it's really not a name or some "THING," but more of a method and technique. Again people get lost in the details and miss the basic fundamental point... STARS is a method of doing things. Student Taking Action is fundamental to our social growth, change and evolution. . . not just my projects . . . not just another selfish thing to put into another box . . .

I told him how everything I do was on the same page. How I've had the same discussion with all of the faculty here . . . . Greg, Jerry, Sharon, Walt . . . Everyone is struggling to control their own little piece . . . . fiefdoms . . . all making more of the same problem . . . which really makes them all suffer, because the real power and success comes in working together and sharing things.

Course the Machine is designed to force more fiefdoms; that way everyone adds to the machine to keep it growing.

Heck I even mentioned how Robert was looking at more "stress research" which is what I did in Nursing and the job that Michelle is doing with the R21 MBSR study. We should help him get a grant and make things work better for all of us . . . . stress is everywhere . . .

Course as I left I went through the front office and Malissa (Michelle's roomy who is there now too) asked me to help her with the software for Robert. So I told her to research for a grant instead and then I'll teach her, and she can ask Mike for where to search for a grant. . . lol . . .

What about the group...

Oh I then got there early and started reading the blog I printed for everyone. Course the 1st one came in as I was reading about the "training wheels" the group will need when she left. Course she wasn't there when we talked about it all so I can't tell her anything about it before the group starts... lol...

Oh but I'm reading before group so maybe she should see it too, and so I gave her a copy. Soon another came in, as I was reading something he had said in the last meeting too . . . figures, so I gave him a copy. . . lol . . .

Now the third came in, us four had been there the longest, and all might be gone next term. lol...

WOW. Course I had to gave him a copy too... and he started to read it... lol.. hold on, no one else is reading it yet but me . . . lol . . . now they could all burn me for breaking group rules AGAIN. . . . lol . . . . like what are rules for anyway. . . . then the group started...

So the 3rd said how the 1st was leaving, and we should say our good-byes... YES TRAINING WHEELS I said . . . talking to the 2nd who was now reading . . . lol . . . it's all the same things in my Blog again.... I could feel the power in the room already. . .

Then I went off into a ramble about what the blog said having a million connections to everything already . . . The 1st leaving so they needed training wheels . . . Wow was that intense. Too much energy pumped out too quick. Strong pointed questions, angry judgments... raised voices...

Some one even jumped up to leave!

Hold it, let's ask what we want to talk about. 3rd started again saying how we need to say good-bye to the 1st who's leaving. Course I agreed totally. . . then the next too... all eight round the room agreed we should. While the 1st then added that this was her last time at group and really wanted to talk about closing her own issues.

What was that?

It was her last class teams. No one worked but her and the presentation showed it to everyone. She got a B while they all D's and F's so the teacher agreed ... then she also talked to the other team leaders who had dealt with the same problems. She felt vindicated and connected with the leaders creating another study group/discussion group . . . . clear success and progress in working ahead where she needed.

Then she spoke about her weekend social work at at crisis center and the nurse present complimented her on the strength and skill she had working the night shift together.

I asked her what was similar between the two successes she faced.

She said it was interesting that I had noticed how similar they were. Then she said they both gave her a strong affirmation of her skills. . .

So then I asked what other ways they were similar? Had she followed her own instincts???

What did you feel when you wrote this?

I was thinking that I really was very focused and clear with her. Actually I realized how we had again connected very clearly. . . . And I knew it was really about the connections to God. . .

I mean You were very clear and strong with me at the meeting as I was careful to listen and speak slowly . . . . lol. . . wow, as I simply followed my instinct as clearly as I could to share what I learned with her.

What did you tell her?

I said how I started school to learn how to follow my instincts freely. I got into the discussion group for the same reasons as well. And here she had done it and seen it so clearly. All the books that have come in were on the same subject . . . Joel Olsten, Blink and the Power of Now. . . Just like the Blog was as well. . . . all about connecting to the truth we FEEL NOW! And move in instinct! In the Love of God!

Never, mentioned God in Group, but someone said I had made all these connections that no one else had seen, so they had no idea what I was talking about. Like how the naming and boxes really helped with understanding a set frame of reference which I avoided and complained about.

What did you say to her?

I told her how she was successful and affirmed whenever she followed her instincts. And we can all follow our instincts and be successful. And it was really great how she made it so clear and apparent to me now since I struggle to stay there spontaneous all the time.

We all complimented her saying how much we enjoy her insights and clear focused review of issues discussed in this group as well....

What did you realize now?

I was thinking about the training wheels and how this is like making the connection with another person. Sharing and understanding that we all have instincts and can all spontaneously help each other . . . I mean, talking to someone who understands, shares and listen is almost "training wheels" for life....

So I told her that she's been great to work with and I'm sure she'll be a great success in everything she does. And I really hope my daughter is lucky enough to meet someone like her when she finally comes out for her issues.

What did you do next?

I went back to my office and printed out all the tools we used in nursing and went and visited Robert. Told him we should get a grant and set this all up. So he showed me two articles he had published making his own tools . . . .lol. . . and GOT TWO PHONE CALLS about a new network of organizations needing his research - evaluations - - -lol. . .

What's so funny?

I remembered telling John at lunch how things increase whenever I want. Like FL or NJ or O&E or USF... lol... or Robert's and Cecile's research boom before my eyes . . . lol . . . like just my looking changes things!

But What happened next?

Oh he said that Melissa would come first on the grant funds. . . and I was insulted since she was just repeating what I told her. . . lol . . . Like the constant fiefdom BS control that everyone wants to pull. Course then Robert says he's not sure about grants anyway since he's not done any for a while, it takes so much time and he's not sure what group to work with yet.

Oh so I picked up my pile of tools and left. . . . lol. . . sure whatever.

I wasn't that blunt or rude, but as I left I started to think about other schools I could go to. I mean if all USF is totally lost in fiefdoms maybe I would have better luck somewhere else. I mean John is really cool and USF might wake up someday; but I told them the first day what I needed to do about grants and funding. And now my MBA is about done and I already mortgaged my house for this!

What happened next?

Kathy called and asked about dinner? No big deal, something simple maybe. She said she could order pizza, so I remembered the last beer still in her fridge from Pam's visit . . . lol . . . ah perfect pizza and beer!!! lol... see ya at 6pm!

Funny as I was riding down to her street I saw these GIANT Raindrops pounding the pavement before me. . . PLEASE NO RAIN, Thanks GOD, give me a few more minutes!! lol... THANKS

I got to Kathy's dry. And the Pizza was there as I sat down with my beer. Course then she says she wants to get working again . . . maybe find a good grant to start with the Boys and Girls Club down the road. . .

WOW!!!! Of course we can do it all ourselves. Why wait for all these teachers . . . I know Kathy is right here and she's already gotten grants, then Equan is down the road and he's already done church projects with kids & scouts building computers with me. I chatted him this week, since he's due back in town too. . . So let's just DO IT. Heck john is 1/2 way between Equan and Kathy off the same road... lol... and they both already have STARS computers and extras . . . while I've still got a pile of these here....

WOW, I need to just get these people together.... Thanks ;-)

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.... Thank You for Clearing my Path and leading to Your Fulfillment: fill me with Your Words, Strength and Wisdom as I continue in all that You give me... Thanks Amen!