learning from loss

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What are you doing now?

I’m listening to theJoyFM.com Podcasts as usual. Ok, I confess I had trouble getting to sleep last night, so I awoke late today, yes that means I had to click my blog links to get to today’s podcasts. . . . . !

What about last night?

I knew you would ask this forcing me to share my learning . . . ! So yesterday, I helped Dr. Jim again with Addys & Jay. They were moving into their own apartment, while their house gets fixed; and they had a U-Haul truck to get everything there in one trip. I showed up at the first apartment, where they were getting a dresser and chair. I noticed the ramp for the truck out of place, and stepped into loading and tying up the truck. Dr. Jim said he hadn’t done this for twenty years, and I admitted I could share a few stories about moving.

Anyway, I was up all night as I “took responsibility” for loading, and all but “bragged about” knowing how to load a truck. . . But then one thing fell. Yes, one thing moved that I had tied down. Only one, but it was the TV, that fell over and crashed. FIGURES! Jay commented about how it was an old TV, but still worked saving him some cash as he handed it to me in the truck. Yes, he then said we were all done?

I thought we were filling up the truck, so I had tied down layers and covered the TV with a blanket ready to pack more together. But that was it, nothing more!  I had pulled the truck into the driveway, and thought I needed to pull-it out too . . . So I jumped down ready to drive, never thinking about the TV or anything else packed into the truck. But then seeing how the TV had crashed, I realize I tied it in and covered it ready for more to hold it in place. Then I “was done,” no more to pack. I never checked anything or tied it all up with another rope.

Yes, I was using ropes inside the truck, as I mentioned the layers I’d tied. But then never finished it? So I was tossing and turning all night realizing my mistake, which was the loss of their TV.  Yes, it was my own irresponsibility that LOST the TV.  Course, the TV is filled with crap anyway, and I’ve got four here that I never use. . . But if I had professional movers, who were packing up my house and they dropped a TV! Wow would I be pissed, and would be submitting for their insurance to replace it, even if I never watched it anyway. And so last night all I could think about was how much Jay and Addy had lost already. Their house had almost four feet of water in it. And now my own irresponsibility had lost their TV too.

Lost, we lose and struggle all the time. It’s the Anxiety of LOSS that hit me this morning with the morning Podcasts. . .   

The Anxiety Opportunity: Backwards culture of Prayer or prescribed medical treatment to make "anxiety to away!" Anxiety is actually the opportunity for spiritual growth. That's the invitation for all Christians . . . with the rise of smartphones and social media anxiety is increasing to over 60% of the western population. Basically what's happening is we are getting bombarded with images that are designed mythically by the algorithm, to actually stoke anxiety, because it turns out that anxiety is a great driver for clicks . . . More clicks, more money. 

More anxiety, the algorithms are actually set up to give you some relief momentarily and then to ramp up the anxiety a little bit later to keep you hooked on it. And there's nothing wrong with asking God, so hey, please take this cup away from me. Jesus prayed to avoid anxiety himself. But ultimately we have to make that same transition to say, "Your will be done," right? Jesus went through the anxiety with trusting the Father. Hold the Loss and Grieve it, we can endure and grow. . . Jesus Grieved in the Garden and invited his disciples to share.

Anxiety is the fear of something, a fear of loss; bringing the native “Fight or Flight” response, as the first reaction from Adam and Eve, right? They hid after eating the apple. We hide our anxiety by pushing it away from us, pretending it's something else. And so what that illustrates, is we all have cover stories that we are prone to hiding our anxiety and that actually gives anxiety more power. Like the “Hindsight Window,” how long does it take you to find "the silver lining," from a loss in life, a short window is happy life … a long window is a life of fear, more resentment, more regret … https://youtu.be/cD16oT4tqVs

Things that we keep hidden actually have more power in our lives and more power precisely because we're not looking at them. We learn to cover up our losses. We learn the ways of Adam and Eve, to cover up and to make excuses for things, and then we just carry that trauma into our teens, adulthood, etc. . . . This is the deepest invitation of God to actually go through our anxiety as an opportunity, as an opportunity for spiritual growth, to get at the parts of our heart that we ourselves don't want to look at, or actually have created some cover story around. 

Anxiety, if we're willing to actually follow its path and go through it, actually, it's like the bread crumbs that lead us to the actual state of our soul, that if we can follow that Psalm 139 injunction to say, search me, O God, know my anxious thoughts, know my innermost being, we will find actually deep, deep realities that are actually like the key, the key, the keyhole to profound spiritual growth. 

That I mean and so we all say, how do we get there? You must actually experience loss, because the real promise of the gospel is not loss avoidance or loss prevention or loss insurance. The real promise of the gospel is loss restoration. It's resurrection. 
It's resurrection and resurrection, you only get to resurrection through death. You only get to the restoration of life through the loss of life. Getting back on the rails with our own avoidance of loss, you say there's two main types of habits that people fall into. So if I'm f fearing that I loss of a job and the economic insecurity, can I imagine going through that and the resurrection day when the feast is laid out on the mountain Zion, where there's no want, there is no need any more, right? So I think there is actually something here to cultivate the Christian imagination for what happens on the other side of loss, which is a which is a beautiful picture of bodily resurrection and the restoration of all things. . . https://www.focusonthefamily.com/episodes/broadcast/best-of-2024-handling-anxiety-gods-way/

As a Christian Certain things we need to know. . . Read bible daily, get baptized, join a church, and give 10% and trust God, so our life is to make a difference in someone else’s life…. Philippians 2:5-18 whatever He wills, He works it, enabling everything for his Good Pleasure…to live out the life of Christ! https://www.intouch.org/listen/radio/i-am-saved-now-what-pt-2 Romans 8:29

God the Master Potter has a plan for every piece of human clay brought to life… Roman’s 8 all people to be like Christ Jesus: https://www.intouch.org/listen/radio/molded-by-the-master-1 

What about Romans 9:20 God knows best through His Power, Purpose, Plan, Patience, Perseverance Personal 

I got slammed again . . . it was so much to get this out. Half of this story came from my children, and i've learned more and more.

We need you to do the Spiritual Work, for you to accept your own learning, makes the truth more visible and clear to others. 

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

Christian and Catholic means Love and Family

DECEMBER 19 Thursday of the Third Week: JUDGES 13:2-7, 24-25A • LUKE 1:5-25

Emerge into Growth.

"So has the Lord done for me at a time when he has seen fit." LUKE 1:25

I explained, was that I didn't have anything of value to share with the world until I had the life experience needed. We want to feast on all the fruits of life immediately, forgetting that most of life is about growth, not harvest. And growth takes time. 

Even Jesus needed thirty years to grow before it was his time to share. Such is the way of God's creation. And our fruits won't ripen until we realize they are not rewards to be indulged, they are gifts to be shared. For the sake of convenience, we give Advent four weeks, but in reality, it often takes years or even a lifetime. Are we willing to accept this? Christmas will come to us in less than a week, but Christ won't come to life within us and through us until we are ready to share his love freely and bountifully with others. 

DAILY PRACTICE: Recall who you were ten years ago, twenty years ago, How have you grown and changed? How has your growth affected the way you treat others? Identify someone who has been instrumental in your personal growth. Reach out and thank them, even if they have since died. 

ADVENT PRAYER: O Infinite Sower, you have planted so many seeds of love, joy, and mercy within me. Thank you for watering them during my droughts and for shining your warm light on them in my darkness. Thank you for your nurturing patience. May they bear fruits that feed your people.

I Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!  This note above is my advent reading from TwentyThird Publications, another booklet that they send to me every year now since I bought dozen Lent booklets.

12:46:11 12/24/24

Today's reading was really focused too as posted here: 

I woke up with another dream. This time, I just hit record on my phone, since these transcriptions are getting more accurate, for a quick cut and paste into the blogs . . . . Instead of struggling to get the text to print out correctly by speaking into the blogs.

 

This time in my dream, Kim took me to a different dance floor in Andro's. So it's part of USF again, but it's back behind the Andros Area; back there in the corner somewhere. And uh it’s another big, beautiful place. It's incredible of course, and they have all this equipment that they haven't put together yet, but they want Marriott to run it, which is what they've been trying to do for years. It's trying to get the hotel to take care of all their food service, so they get some quality food in there. Or more likely, make more money or whatever the hell it is. Yea, they still got Marriott out doing the catering anyway, so to have Marriott out there doing it all, it just makes it easier. 

So it's interesting because what were we there for? It was funny because we were there for some other reason and she realized; oh wow we were driving somewhere passing through. We paid some cash for something and they owed me some change back. So they said oh, you got to have a meal anyway, and we were like, okay, so we went around back to get a “free” meal. All kinds of people around setting up the place. It's a big dance place, and a big deal someone was in it already. That's interesting. Something interesting for me to be back dreaming about at USF and dancing again . . . . . . . 

What about this surprised you.

I guess, it's that I've seen similar dreams like this several times before. I wonder if it is just a context that I feel comfortable with or something. I know I've been getting a lot repeated to me from different classes, and different sources at church and home. Usually this would mean I'm getting closer to a new realization, experience or understanding. Or should I say, it’s clear I am being prepared for something. Like look at these two logo's where the medieval soldier or knight was around me in high school and is again now when i am teaching in college. What's really weird is that between these schools and logo's I was at are back to USF again. Another school, USF with a logo of the Bull, which really always has been something that represented me and my life. My whole life I have been the Bull in the China Shop, knowing my place was to do something that no one else could do. The big Bull that even the two knights would be afraid of.

What else did you feel about this.

I guess, I was able to speak to my son Christopher again, who was happy to admit I “share-too-much” all the time. We talked about a lot of things, so our conversations could have easily put the ideas about USF back into my heart. I was really happy to talk with him, as it was for over an hour.  He was in his office “catching up” as evidently he’s been doing a lot more directing others, checking, and supervising things. I Asked if he had been pulled back into teaching, since the couple he works for are both teachers. He has done a few student project reviews, and was called back to teach the first year or so, but not in a while. Clearly he is enjoying himself.

I was very clear about the Grape is Ripe at age 33. And he was clear his experience and understanding is not in agreement with me. He reminded me that it would be 10 years with Claudia this May. They have always celebrated their anniversary on my birthday.  This year it’s ten years, and he’ll be 33 on his birthday May 3rd. Then they will be getting married 10/10/2025. . . Wow, birth 5/3, twice 5 at 5/15, then double twice 5 at 10/10 married.  I mean, it’s a lot of power and focus on simple numbers and days, years, months. . . Again representing something beyond us.

He hasn’t decided about his wedding invitation list, or at least is not ready to tell me he doesn’t want me there. I expect that, as no one wants to confront Paul, and they know I will confront him, if he forces it.  It was kinda weird as we spoke a bit about Jesus, which he also wants to avoid, not interested in my perspective, which he clearly disagrees with. 

Evidently, it’s a sour spot. As is also our memory about Colleen. We seem to have discussed some “fault” for the ten-years I missed in his life.  I’m sure I told them about the lies to the judges, where I simply decided if “they were old enough to lie”, then “they were old enough to suffer the consequences.” Course I’m sure they were convinced they never lied, not taking any responsibility, as they were both clearly terrified. Claiming they were terrified of “being with me” might have been real, since admitting any other emotions regarding me, really meant a beating, no food, or worse from Paul. So they were certainly terrified of the consequences . . . Which really was not my doing. Though it seems Chris is convinced I need to accept more responsibility his experience. I wonder if we will talk more, or I’m sure we will sooner or later.

What more do you feel here?

I . . Know it's more about Spirit, as all these points to important things I've highlighted above,  all critical points for my kids to grow and learn from the anxiety as they have to own this history they have lost…. I always knew Emily was very close to Jesus and His Mother Mary, because of my own mother Ely Maria. And since Emily Maria and Christopher Allen had virtually the same experiences, I thought it was clear they had the same beliefs and convictions to Christ. Then as I spoke with my son, just before Christmas and he was clear it was not his belief.  I admitted how surprised I was with his challenging me with the e=mc2 concepts and then his I4 Accident. Once again, I got the distinct impression there was a lot more here that he's not shared with his sister, or maybe not shared with anyone else. Course, I wonder now how much he's been real about it to himself. Just like I saw the monster and challenges that came to them when I left, I knew much of what I did and shared would be beaten out of them. . . And all memory of me would be twisted.

Course, every attempt was made to beat Jesus (and deep Spirituality) all out of me as well. And I grew up being overdosed with sugars, junk food, drugs, and alcohol . . . Much more of the foods I had were real, and my mother was more connected to the truth than I could ever be. I guess that's why Emily is still so clear and strong in Spirit, but I never knew my son was not there with her.

What else?

I know Christmas with just You, Your Word, Your lessons and only You has been as powerful as ever. I did get to dinner Christmas Eve and made a big pot of sweet potatoes to share. We then went to midnight mass at St. Raphael Catholic Church. And since then I have been staying in bed to write, share, and grow doing my Blog, SEEL Lessons, Marian Consecration, Exodus and JoyFM Podcasts. Several times this season I have been able to speak and share with my Church Fraternity Brothers. I have even been invited to join another group of men my own age, who meet to pray after Church on Friday mornings.

I have shared several times how blessed I've been with this Catholic Church. I started Lent with visions from my mom. This commitment began with the daily readings, then daily Mass, the Prayerline and the morning podcasts of Family Focus, and Charlie Stanley. . . . Which has brought me so much power and focus in my growth and understanding. . . Yes the Daily readings linked above are current now, while back then when i started Lent, the daily readings were a lent guide, then Exodus, St John, St Mary, Advent and Lent again . . . 

What do you need to add now? The power of this perfect timing and experiences as you have added such simple ideas as discovering a big mangrove added to your planting. Something so simple has such a powerful effect on you, as you see and accept all the other things that show up for you in this experience. 

I see so much stepping into my place and experience . . . Serving the poverty of Love in People as we have a lost culture. Listening to the Fr. Michael 33daystomorningglory.com Q1: Ask for Mary to remind me again now discerning in prayer . . .  What is my greatest priority for me now to share and write as this goal for me to be and share more

What are you doing now? To remember Jesus in every second has become second nature for you. You can hear all the plants and animal around you too. So now your Joy is everywhere around you. This experience you are sharing is about more Love. Reaching out and helping others . . . It’s about loving others, touching them . . . The poverty of loneliness is sharing how much your vibration changed now as you got the keyboard to write now with us.

Q1 Was about Calling to Mary instead, and Q2 What would we ask for? I had the experience of walking up to the fridge to add milk to my heated coffee and asking Mary, instead of my constant “I Love You Dear Lord Jesus Christ, Thank You Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I Love You Dear Lord Jesus Christ,”. . . When I noticed and said “Mary Protect me” instead, it was like a big flood of Love and Ladies, feeling my Mom, Joyce, , , Joni, Dawn, Angels, Jesus, , , like a flood of water, stepping into a big wave, always feeling the message as Mary/Mother being a true love smothering me that moment. Ready to bring me into the Peace and Joy, like I seek to share every moment here with you.. 

Yes, I literally began speaking my ever present: jjj’ ttt’ ==> “I Love You Dear Lord Jesus Christ,Thank You Dear Lord Jesus Christ,” “ “ “ and then stopped to say “Mother Mary.” As I am doing now again, writing these words in Prayer with Jesus. I suddenly see and feel this wave of love over me . . . Yes Mom Mary Maria and I feel another level of Spirit Joy and Peace in my space . . . With each word I type and edit easier than ever with this new keyboard and iPad on my bed, with only Jesus!

Mary’s maternal mediation. This motherly mediation is the key that unlocks the whole theology of Marian consecration. And now that we have this key, we’re ready to learn exactly what John Paul means by Marian consecration, or as he usually refers to it, “Marian entrustment.”

So the next Question on Day 26, Q3: What personal message might Jesus have for Mary, how could this be for all of us? Seems like is why she has shown up around the world to different Saints. Q4: Mother mediation Spirit and Glory in the Sacraments of Reconciliation and the Eucharist means so much more now. And I remember the awesome statue I saw as I closed the fridge downstairs asking Mary for guidance . . . It was left-over from one of Leslie’s estate sales, as it has a chipped corner so no one bought it. And it was the first thing I saw after I realized the sensation of the waterly flood of love, stepping into it before me. . . 

What did you flash to now?

I felt how important it was to share this with Leslie. I need to invite her to the GRIEF meeting at my church . . . I have invited her to the next Chaplet Meeting at Lisette’s already. I think she might come to church with me. Though now I flash to everyone seeing us as a “couple” and Leslie wants to come every day after . . . lol . . . 

What’s wrong with that? Do you see how healing that could be for everyone. You have spoken before about healing. Creating your own Golden Milk, and have everything for anointing oils, and making all types of delightful organic foods that you are desperate to share with others. 

I know . . D27 how does Mary care, DAY27:Come, Holy Spirit, living in Mary. Prepare me to entrust myself completely to Mary so she can bring me closer to Christ.  Q1:How can you invite Mary into more; it is all in the heart of love, whatelse could I ask for. Adding her name clearly to my daily prayers will be easy! Q2:What can Joseph and Mary bring about Jesus, seems odd to ask His Parents for insights while He is always Listening. What’s interesting to consider now, is that I started to paint and only got the words out: Jesus, Mary, & Joseph knowing there is so much more to come. . .   Q3:Mary lives here, and I see the statues, as I experienced her wave of love engulfing me.  Q4: Expressed easily in Caring for every mother I meet, loving each tree and each animal as her children . . . as Mothers Mary are with me constantly, excited to hear our requests. Bringing my Mother and Love of nature and creation deeper into my heart and experience now. 

What a wonderful way to spend your Christmas Holy Days exploring this with us and sharing all that has come to you through this. It’s really wonderful that you are working in your gardens and taking a bleak for the sunshine and feeding the birds.

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 I have this already in the PDF   . . DAY28: Come, Holy Spirit, living in Mary. Draw me in, with, and through Mary to the Fountain of Love and Mercy. Q1: Where would I dedicate, everywhere! so much is here already. It’s so funny they ask this after my experience earlier with seeing her statue before me, just as I said her name. Q2: Limits with divine mercy, always know peace! Always asking for peace and joy, as God has no limits to his glory coming to us. It’s always about faith, and knowing we are growing and evolving no mater what happens. Funny, I recognize a real limit that I’m protected. Death is beyond me, I can’t even break a bone, lol. Though I’ve cracked a few!  And death can’t reach me as long as I have so much to do still, though I’m still clueless what that means!

Q3: GRATEFULLY asking Mary to bring me to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. It's neat to consider this as I have a statue of mother Mary and Jesus with their sacred hearts just above my head here in my bedroom. Yes, that a jade plant between them and a oil painting of a beach sunset behind them… Q4: what questions do we have about prayer life, missions, mercy, staying focused etc… I’m so blessed to know how much a blessing I have with Spirit all the time. Like I said before the idea of praying to my Mother Mary comes so easily after growing up in the woods.

What is happening here is that you are stepping more powerfully into your own place. When you speak about growing up in the woods, you have always joked about it. But stop and consider your day today. You started off with planting a big plant that had washed-up next to your mangroves. It had been there a while, but you needed your truck, so you drove into church today. You loaded your truck with garden tools and stopped at the mangrove before dawn. 

Then you asked the plant where it wanted to go, and even noticed this space would impact some sea grasses that were there. And you pulled out the grasses and listened to there direction to restore them. You actually listened for every shovel-full. You listened about moving the bricks and followed their direction, where to put bricks, and where to put the sand. Then you greeted the crabs and apologized for disturbing their homes. Saying the new space world be better for all. Stop and consider how much time and focus you shared in such a simple task. Do you see how powerful this experience was for you? 

You made it to church on time and even walked into Father Curtis. It was ideal as you were able to get permission to move more of his plants and get more insight in his needs… it opened the door for you both to share more. Then you trimmed a tree by his doorway and spoke with him more after church about his own desires and priorities. Then you listened to each plant you touched and mode sure they each were taken care of. You even pulled herbs from the grass to plant with the others.

It was brilliant to reach out to the other garden ladies too, so you didn't do too much without them. You watered, you fixed, and you arranged. So now you are ready for your next class. When you got home you started to prepare more plants they want. Then you cleared and replanted more yourself too. And then you saw the birds chirping at you and decided it was time to enjoy the sunshine and time in your hammock. Look at these pictures you have and remember the first blue jay came right up to you when you brought out nuts to share.

The love and experience you share with life all around you is the work of Mother Mary, who you shared and loved as Mother Nature in the woods. Your deep love and respect that you have for Her is to much more than you realize… and sets you apart in all that you do.

I get it. I remember chirping at the birds and how much fun I had trying to get good pictures. It's funny as I remember how I'm always praying and asking for directions about how I do anything. Setting up the pots and watering, listening and learning, which plants to cut and plant together. Just knowing and feeling what is best on ideal in the space.

And again now, as I stop to record a video of my complete experience of bliss. Here you can see my boots swinging back and forth to bring me in and out of the sunshine. I have this experience of bliss all the time and to stop and show it is wonderful, even as you can see more peanuts on the white granite block I have on the blue plant pot over my right shoulder Yes, I still get the feeling that you are always asking me to do more. And if you noticed, I'm just doing more and more, instead of asking questions, or trying to figure things out.

What we need is for you to trust and continue with everything exactly as you have planned. The opportunities and relationships for getting things done is getting easier and easier, trust and move forward in peace and joy.

Thanks you Dear Mother Mary, I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

Yes, chanting “I love You Lord Jesus, Thank You Lord Jesus.”

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What a perfect way to start your day. You are listening very well, and following this moment. God can Direct your steps, as so much is beyond your knowledge and experience. 

I get this Word from You! YOU Got me typing early today. This last weekend, I finally started cleaning up after the three hurricanes, or two Hurricanes and a tropical storm Debbie, Helene, and Michel. I started in the front wanting to setup my “free table,” to put plants and produce on. So I had to move dirt and mulch and all sorts. I had dug a trench along the sidewalk for one of those big tree logs. I actually have three now, where I got the last one from across the street here, but only a stump in front. When I was cleaning up I went down the street and picked up the big stump to put in the corner with my address on it. As crazy as it is, I had new numbers for my house since Larry painted my porch. I was able to put the old numbers he took down back up. So the new numbers fit great on my new log out front now. I still have to paint the street name of something else there too. 

What we have been preparing for you is certainly going to surprise you. It’s been a long time coming, but you will be very surprised about how it has All comes together, as you are listening to Jonathan Roomie talking about being the Garden in sorrow, knowing what Judas had done.

Yes I got a notice about the Season 5 Trailer out for the Chosen Series. WOW, and another interview opened up on YouTube after where Jonathan was filming the establishment of the Eucharist. Then after a week filming the Last Supper, he had to speak at the Conference of the Eucharistic Revival. . . Seeing his filming schedule in March, when he’s speaking schedule was right after the filming. . . . WOW, Knowing how God Designs and Plans everything for sharing His Word! Jonathan was speaking about getting to the rehearsal and seeing the wonder of God, “if your eyes are open and ears are attentive,” you can serve too, and he’s even started selling his own t-shirt worn to the conference:  “If it’s a symbol the hell with it” . . . https://www.jonathanroumie.com/ for the t-shirt.

What have you been feeling now that you are getting focused for your HolyDay with us. 

I love Your Word! To get clearer with my focus on You. Now again I am listening to this speech he did at the Revival, “the TV Jesus talking about the Real Jesus.😇” And I got up this morning as the sun was breaking the horizon. When I looked at my iPhone the weather app showed the sun would be up in a minute. I could hear the rain outside, and wanted to see what was happening. Yes, I know this is my holiday to be Thankful with Jesus and my new church community. “Who ever drinks my blood and eats my flesh will have me inside them to live forever.”

And it’s really strong and focused this morning, typing on my new keyboard. I keep trying to get into my office, but it’s a big wreck. I’ve tried to clean over and over again. It’s weird. Like now thinking about cleaning my yard. I started with trying to make a path to my container to put away my tools. I had a truck full of tools to help with the hurricane floods. I piled them all in my wheelbarrow, but my back gate is all broken up, so I couldn’t take them back to the container. So I wheeled them around to my side/bike gate. Course the wheelbarrow doesn’t fit into that gate. . . So it was sitting there full of tools for a few weeks.

Yes, so last weekend was the first time I started cleaning up from the Hurricanes, which means getting that pile of tools put away. So I cleared a path through my backyard thinking I would carry back each tool. When I got to the side gate, I noticed that steal frames I had set there for a tool rack. Oh, great build another tool rack? YES! 😇So that’s where I started. Found a 4x4 from a neighbors fence piled at the street. Cut and attached the 4x4s to the steel frame, added four swivel wheels, and my steel rack was ready for tools. It was wicked-cool how the pieces all fit together perfectly, Jesus always has these designs where random pieces fit together like magic. Of course, I could roll it out to the wheelbarrow, load it up, and wheel it back. . . Thin enough to wheel my tools down the bike path to the backyard too.

Of course, I fumbled around searching for tools and screws and such. Which means I had to clean and sort in the garage and a few other places too. Yes, chanting “I love You Lord Jesus, Thank You Lord Jesus.” So the rack was done and I moved all the garden tools from the wheelbarrow there. Then the wheelbarrow was empty and I started moving dirt and mulch. I filled in all along the fence there with the passion fruit and bananas trees to plant something new. Got the front all set and clean, put in my free table and reset all the free farmer space. Monday afternoon as I was tired and finishing up all the front, I found my hammock and put it up too. 

Yes, break time. I got a Nuts.com order delivered too. It was actually a gift from Sharon and dad! It was a surprise, as I had a made an order the night before, and was ready to get my nuts. It was all organics and  Sharon picked out many of my favorites. Funny, the day before I was leaving Rolling Oats with a bag of onions, ginger and turmeric thinking I should have bought some plantain chips too, since I’ve now got the onions and all to make my mom’s fish salad. So when I opened Sharon’s gift box and found two bags of Plantain Chips I laughed and Thanked Jesus♥️😇.

Yes, Break time is something Jesus reminds me about, like “stop and Eat son”. . . Which Kim would tell me too, when we were married. So I had a glass of wine and a bowl of chips and dried fruit heading out to my hammock. Of course, the bougainvillea that I had just moved, was now set in a perfect place to hold my wine glass as I climbed in the Hammock . . . . And I noticed the sun breaking through to trees to shine full in my face. WOW, Jesus is always taken great care of me. . . . Funnier still, when my bowl and glass were about empty the sun slipped behind the neighbor’s roof, and I figured it was time to get back to work. . . Of course to carry my cross. . . 

What about your focus for today, Our Holy Day we have to share together.

I know, I never finished where you had me started. And Hearing the Word always catches my attention! Like no food today. I’m going to fast until the Eucharist tomorrow at church. And I’ve got a turkey to make tomorrow too. So this morning I got my iPad, and MacBook ready to write, grade school work, and whatever else I need to do here. Oh and cleaning up I’m sure, because I know You want me on my Mac Pro upstairs in my office sooner or later . . . . part of the process before me . . . 

Yes, I could see how I was motivated to clean up outside. I had to empty my truck to move Kevin’s daughter. Then cleanup the tools so I could get my front yard clear for sharing plants and produce again from this Garden of Eden. I keep knowing I need to sell something, so that I can get the urban agriculture exemptions on my property taxes. And that’s where the Mac Pro comes in for updating my websites and posting ABB classes about farming, mangroves, and all the other student projects You want me to create. So cleaning up goes from out front, to inside, as I move slowly along, where people see me and my space. 

I realize my motivations were always about hospitality. So checking my experiences and challenges this last week cleaning, gets me honest perspective to finished the house! People can walk down my side bike path to get to a Bonfire. People can also get Papaya, and Potatoes out front. And the benches and hammock are welcoming. I even setup a granite seat next to the tree for me to sit for the sunrise leaning against the tree. I actually put that together a few weeks back, not ready to bike down to the coast for the sunrise, I wanted to sit there in front of my house for the sunrise. I actually used it too!

What about this HOLY Time you are anticipating. 

I know only tea and coffee to honor Your Word! Cleaning up is going all through the house and upstairs to clean the www next. And so it’s all a process and a blessing taking each step of the way clearly and slowly. 

What about now? Witness a profound moment of faith and traditions, Abraham raising his knife to Issac; Jehovah Jira, to Trust God the Love Provides our needs . . . His provision wont look like we expect. Praise the Father Praise the Son King of Kings with Hillsong Worship. 

I know stop to find my pipe again, as your Word is even coming through to me in the Exodus Extras! As I wrote this I FLASHED back to high school again. What could I have discovered? I was . . . Or I have always discovered different things in my life, and now again I’m using the iPad tools to share and write some new discoveries. Like the bike ride yesterday, I just posted talking into the phone as I was biking, and I realized I never really did what i said at the very beginning. I watched the video and I was swinging the camera all around pointing at stuff, not holding the mic to my mouth to get a real sound recording  like in the picture i drew in High School.

Now, the next random event: Quinton Sherman called about making an offer for my house. I’ve told everyone $1.1M or don’t bother me. So now I have a guest coming Friday. Which means double time on the house cleanup of course. It’s really remarkable Word for me to hear and share! As I FLASHED to seeing the house clean and ready!

When it’s raining and it’s pouring, you take a stone, you make it still, when I’m weary, He knows everything I need . . . Jesus save me 1:47:43pm 11/27/2023 on TheJoyFM.com “we the kingdom”

I Love You Jesus, I am so grateful for all You have created here for me. As I read this name and realized he was a local resident taking advantage of the circumstances… “Honestly we think we just need Jesus, have we all gone Mad!”. . . . 2:13pm I’m running back to You, I’ve been rescued. . . So I’ve FLASHED off somewhere again. 2.2million house value, where I can build and do it again, everywhere. 

And again now I’m more clear than ever, giving me this random phone call and I Flashed to a new space. 

This text here was from the phone transcripts: 

That You created from the beauty and blessing, the call from this number is Quentin

Is that your first name or your last name?

My first name my last name is Sherman

Oh, OK. Cool. Talk to you soon. Then Friday is only a couple days away yeah OK.

Sound good Have a great Thanksgiving as

This text is that scan from this 201 journal page I wrote: 

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than he who is /Nin

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Wednesday, November 27

get a callos to eug don wants to

boute.

hang ap. Except Now

Quntoo Wari arad Me

So My

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PROF

What might surprise you is how accurate it can get reading your text. Especially as you use it more . . . 

I get it, you want to see Your Word everywhere. . . ! That’s what they are doing in the Chosen. This next season is coming out with Easter. And it’s going to get slammed. Watching the video of this intention: https://youtu.be/oecURNSCXys?si=9fSUo83tNTc6Sj4e&t=60 

Now, tune into your heart, 

and know that the truths of your experience is ALL in your heart. 

so I invite you if you resonated with this to just breathe into your heart go deep into that golden chamber that is who you are, the essential being in you. . . . . and being in a moment of gratitude or being alive and awake and in truth . . . .  with your own good faith in this moment, , , , the word on the street for me right now, is to find my stillness . . .  and to stay in my own lane . . .  I hope that's helpful to you and you have a lovely holiday. Thank you.


What a blessing to see and share into a new vision you never have seen…

I’ve been learning more with these Words, tools, experiences ! Wow, look what I just posted: and greater is he who lives inside of me, then he who lives in the World… did Joy Fm Radio and I FLASHED to another business restoring the wetlands in Shore Acres, where all the houses just got flooded. I get a call or two every day where someone wants to buy my house! I say $1.1 million and they hang up. Except now with Quinton, who lives here in Saint Pete too, so my house value just doubled because I found investor. Who can understand what I’m doing.

Wow 5:43:52pm 11/27/23 now and the sun is going down and I’m ready to sleep! So when I FLASHED to a new house, I saw the bunk room filled the college students. Fearlessly challenged with projects and goals All around them!

GOD IS MORE THAN JUST A FEELING, YOU ARE MY HEALING, your healing! 5:46:17

I know I still hear Your Word, and need to make the beds, sort the sheets, vacuum, mop, and write the wonderful experiences that you share with me more and more every moment… “Lord nothing is better than you, Lord there’s nothing better than you, nothing better than you.” Love I I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

Providence of being Provided

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

Yes, I know You make this easier and easier for me to share and talk with You. And I know that’s what I’m here for. I've really not been doing very much worth talking about. Yes, the Men's Fraternity this morning and now helping Kevin’s daughter move into a Tampa apartment. Easy-Peezy stuff, seems like no big deal . . . Yes, I drove over to Tampa and got off the highway at Fowler Ave. Of course, I had a big smile, seeing all old places I've been and lived before. Ok, I admit yesterday I tried to find my oldest Journal and read about getting my little motorcycle with Jack. Now wasn’t that a long time ago. But it was really cool reading how Jack took care of me.

So I’m waiting in my truck outside the gate of where she is moving, I got her bed and some shelves in the back of my truck. Yes, I planned it so I could go straight to class at 3pm. Course it's now 2:55pm, and Kevin forgot to sign the lease for his daughter, so she can't get in yet. She asked me to empty my truck and leave it all next to her car, but No way. . . I wouldn't burden anyone daughter like that!

What more time gives you is here with us.  

I know, this feels like where Cathy lived after she left my house. It's not the safest area off 15th and Fowler, but it is close to USF and all sorts she could benefit from. As remarkable is it was, when I got back into my truck to race to class, I got a message from the teacher, saying she was running late too. Yes timed at 3:03pm. So I laughed, smiled and snapped a screenshot to send to Kevin. Then to my surprise I got a call from Father Curtis as I approached the Highway to Clearwater. He wants to meet tomorrow, about something, though I have no idea what. I thought I would wear slacks, shirt and tie, but the decided on just jeans. I'm still not sure what it could be about. I've volunteered and offered to help with everything at the Church from sorting books, to business management, and planting mangroves.

I know I still have so much to do. Rob stopped in this morning to give me more exercises, saying again how I am doing pretty good already.

What are you doing now 8:25am 11/22/24

I’ve spent the last day in bed and feel that way again now. I’ve been trying to spend more time in prayer. I feel like the Word is just always with me. I wonder and explore and search always feeling so much at ease. I needed to go back to my 101 SEEL week to figure out where the focus was . . . as my new assignment. Of course, the Providence of being Provided For is just my lot in life. I ALWAYS HAVE A SENSE OF SHARING WITH JESUS. How can I question something so obvious and powerful? Especially when I have Father Curtis gifting me beyond recognition!

What did you ask for?

I am always seeking peace and joy and to do what YOU have set before me. I search in the Word for what this really means, and how to understand and express it fully. I always have confirmation that I’m in the right place at the right time doing what I need to do . . . but I still question and wonder about it. Sure I can see the synchronicity and obvious benefits that come to me daily, but I realize that IS my own perceptions, that can be tainted by my selfishness or ego as well. I guess this might be why I write things out all the time. I mean, 10:03:33am seeing the same story over and over again confirming my moments here with Jesus. . . . wow, it's really just intimidating sometime?   What could Jesus want from me?  How could I possibly express Love and Joy better than anyone else, or suitable for this experience.

Yesterday, when I got up and my head spun, I tried to do things that Rob laid out for me. And it seemed to spin my head more than ever. As crazy as I sounds, it was almost like I knocked a screw loose, where my spins were going both ways at once, and I was sitting in the middle just feeling this chaos. That’s why I decided I just lay in bed and rest. I’m not sure about getting up now even. I’m actually just talking to my iPhone now. Not even trying to type, but knowing I can talk through pretty clearly. I know I have grades to do, but I really don’t know where to start. I guess that means coffee and fruit to get moving.

What Is important is that you trust your experience, and trust what you’re given, and step into it Responsibly! 

I know, I had planned to visit Matt, after Fr Curtis, and sent him a text, only to get rescheduled till Monday.  I know Matt got a response from his Motion to Dismiss, and again it almost feels like he staged this to fall into place, and I just need to trust and move along. I get this feeling with the Word all the time!

What we open for you is very easy, follow as our yoke is easy . . . Matthew 11:28-30 

I know, and I try to stay focused and do whatever you set before me. Like I ordered all my organics from Nuts.com and still have to mix my seeds to make the best breakfast ever. I was stunned to make these orders at all, cause I didn't think I had any valid credit left. I did get paid by SPC, and filled out the W2 to do engineering for Mike. It's all good, I trust in the Word!

We have a lot ahead of you, and taking the time to move into things SLOWLY in peace and Joy is important. 

St Michael before me, 

St Michael behind me, 

St Michael to my right, 

St Michael to my left, 

St Michael above, 

St Michael below, 

St Michael, St Michael, wherever I go . . .

Then visualize His Sword and Shield spinning around you; creating a ball of light protecting you ! ! ! !  

I posted this to Dan, we met for Coffee at Black Crow and he wanted to learn this. So I also posted it to Lissette's group, saying my Blessing this week was having this meeting with Dan to share my Mom's Teachings. . . 

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

Exodus readings.

“Do not throw your pearls to swine” (Matthew 7:6). But there is also a negative dimension to shame, which the sociologist Brené Brown defines as “feeling unworthy of love and belonging.” The positive dimension of shame recognizes that others are not ready to enter into a communion of persons with me. They need to prove they are trustworthy first. The negative dimension of shame says that I am not worthy to enter into a communion of persons, and this leads to the most destructive condition—isolation. Learning to overcome the negative voice of shame in order to be vulnerable and form a communion with trustworthy persons is now our path of healing and salvation.

This is the experience of revealing to someone the most vulnerable secret in our life. We feel that the person who has seen that deepest place in me knows me better than anyone, even the person I have spent far more time with. When our groups can be safe for the most vulnerable parts of our hearts to be shared, we will have deep and healing relationships—a true communion of persons.

stronger sense of things before me

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What you have been working on is very important. As you heard from Dick on Thursday the high points and priorities that you discern here are significant and long reaching. Stepping back from the immediate experience to see the bigger picture will be important for you as you step into it more.

I have still been getting a stronger sense of things before me. Not only the shifts that come across our nation but all the other changes and desires I've had all my life. Of course, it is intimidating to see so much coming together at once, or even something as simple as RFK posting a video of my Mom's Sermon. Yes, I know these are all as dumbfounding as meeting the NASA guy who ran the Cray Computers and had been intimate with my Dream letter to Reagan . . . 

What happened now?

I listened to Your Word, and pulled out my coconut wine that is now in the Fridge. I took the mold outside and used my steel mixer to create new soil and set it between my papayas on the side. Yes I know I still need to plant some seeds. Oh yes, and then I found some mail out front. And that included a refund letter for my student loans. Yes I know, it was really weird as I flashed to getting everything refunded. Yes, some crazy number I couldn't have imagined, sorta like the ABB and House stuff all coming out perfectly. What would I do then? What a crazy thought, as doing my morning sunyoga today, Ed walked by and we chatted a bit about the Hurricanes flooding all his properties. So the 5 acres in Gulfport are for sale now, and he gave me the agent who was selling for him. 

I visited Mike for lunch last week and then called a Salt Creek land owner. I guess I had heard on the news that another parcel was purchased in Salt Creek. Oh it's all places that could build the water transit systems. What was more remarkable than anything was right now, I flashed to seeing the Gulfport property with all these boardwalks through the wetlands, going around all the property, they were all moving sidewalks, pumping water around. So now as I stop to think about it again, I remember asking Jesus for a regular life again . . . What is too funny about that, is the perfect regular life that FLASHED in my head was biking and kayaking around with Emily, Christopher, and Kathy.

What’s wrong with that? 

I  know it’s the normal American Dream, of a happy wife and children, all playing in God's beauty together, sharing in Your Word!  

What do you think you should be doing in Eden anyway? Are we all about love and relationship. Sharing and growing in the beauty and love of a Garden always needs a family. 

I know and recognize my place here to do and share as You have gifted me through Your Word!

What a nice new keyboard you found. We think you might really like it, even if it’s a bit noisy, yes you have “arrow keys” now, where you need to remember to save, since you can go crazy typing and shift into the auto-mode. . . Just remember to click the update button too. 

I was struggling with the pen and everything yesterday, and so I typed into Craigslist to see if I could find anything to replace this dead iPad keyboard. So I clicked on computer parts and there on the very top of the list was this Logitech iPad multi-keyboard. Dang, what’s a multi-key? I never heard of that before. So it’s a Bluetooth keyboard, completely separated, and it’s got his little dial/switch on it to go from my laptop, to my iPad, to my desktop. So You are making it all easier and easier for me, so I can’t complain anymore. Yes, the noisy keys are really no big deal, and it almost sounds nice, or familiar to me. I Guess this means, that You want me to start writing more, and get more serious about everything You have given to me.

Yes, I know this is about reviewing the SEEL 101 week, and getting more focused on what was the key and priority there. Wow, I love this keyboard already, the stupid "stuck on my last word," vanished with the arrow key.  I just need to remember this all goes to sleep when I stop to eat and drink my beer. So Craigslist got me to Dunedin, and I wanted to go by Kathy’s house, that looked empty. Of course, just a day ago I spoke about “FAMILY,” which at the level of DREAMS would be Emily, Christopher and Kathy. And it’s so funny to even say this, as I have FLASHED to walking into Saint Raphael’s with Kathy holding onto my arm. And of course, just the thought of that, was so thrilling and exciting for me. I mean, it’s like stepping into what FEELS RIGHT, or feels like where I belong or where I want to be?

Ok, I confess, being focused on only Jesus is wicked cool, and I honor and respect this moment I have with YOU, as I know it’s all about growing and understanding this more. But I realize that it’s more about EDEN, than it is about just me. I mean, I’ve been very close to You forever, and I see that You are really trying to get me to step deeper into my passion and recognize that I can change and create everything that I’ve ever thought of.  Yes, I know I grew up in the woods, and my mom was deep in the medicine power of a long tradition and she did everything in her power to get me to where I could DO THIS FOR YOU!!!!

6:49pm 11/17/2024

Ok, this new keyboard already has a few benefits. Of course, the arrow-keys are great. But now I turned on my iPad, and turned on the keyboard and started typing and it was going already. I didn’t have to connect anything or reset anything. I just started it and it worked. And After eating some yummy stone crabs and getting my coconut porter, , , yes the place I stopped in Dunedin had the 3-Daughters Coconut Porter that I bought in my growlers last month. YUMMY! . . . Anyway, after dinner and writing I drove back past Kathy’s old house. . . I couldn’t help myself, I needed to get this picture. . .   

2:09:17 11/18/2024

I'm frustrated again. Trying to get my MacBook to work right, and it's only working in Mojave and not Sonoma. . . they both boot ok, but Sonoma wont find the wifi or get the screens set right. I'm running out of storage space on this machine too. So I'm not sure what I can do next. I stop here to write thinking it will help settle me down a bit. I'm not sure yet, as I really have too much to do, and really don't feel comfortable with anything.

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

Send someone to help me grow

https://www.facebook.com/share/15ZiKg9Dcp/?mibextid=ox5AEW 

Wow. . I'm doing more with my pen again.

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What you are doing now is trusting and relying on God for everything you’re doing, good job!

The Word is the way things are going. https://www.intouch.org/listen/radio/the-power-of-the-holy-spirit-in-the-life-of-the-believer-pt-1

1. Doing the work of God
2. The branch living in the vine. . . In the Word! 
3. Being the Life of God!

Where Ephesians Chapter 6 recommends the Armor of the Lord, girdle, breastplate, shoe, shield, helmet, and sword, Like the Jesuits who are known as contemplatives in action. It takes practice, holding your intention to be close to God and everything that you do.

I find myself doing the same thing again. Honoring my guest in the house, and suggesting we are together to help change the world. Rob dropped in and we spoke a lot about what’s changing in the world. What did God really intend for me. And I really get a sense that all I do is at the ten scale, where I am in bliss, Always in comfort, enjoying the bliss that I am liven in the Word! So sharing with Rob inspired us both because we understand where things are shifting all around us.

What did you hear now?

I am in the right place, at the right time again and I really get the sense that this whole world is shifting where Eden is closer that ever.

What

I us.

What

I us.

What

I  Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

what I had done and where it would place me

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

Wow, what a week. Or maybe it's been a month or two. Wow it feels like many months. I have figured out more each day as I go along.

I guess I will start with Helene. We had a giant hurricane go by off-shore. It was 160 miles away, but the storm surge into the Tampa Bay was over 6 feet of water. Countless people in church and along the coast were flooded out. Yes, 2-3 feet of water into a house that never got wet before. Yes, I already wrote about this and how busy I was helping families and all. Then we had our Wednesday night Welcome Team meeting. On my bike ride home I got into an accident or something.

Morning meal,

I remember leaving the church close to 9pm and biking across the parting lot. Then I awoke in the hospital at 2am . . . They told me I had a concussion and six cracked ribs. WHAT? They couldn't tell me anything more. No one knew how I got there or what had happened to me. When I asked the nurses, they found my bike was in the garage, but nothing else. The physical therapist came in and asked about my house and how many steps I had. They told me I had to be able to walk up steps before they could send me home. When the nurse finally told me I could leave, I was ready to go. They called a cab and I waited over an hour. Wow, was that guy a jerk, but I got home with my bike and gave him twenty bucks anyway. I was so happy to get home, I walked in and about fell into the new queen bunk that Carlos and I had installed.

What we have been waiting for is all the lessons you put together from Exodus 90. Each day you heard more and more related to these experiences you have had, and what you learned.

An Angel checking in on me!

5:30pm 10/15/2024 . . . . I know it's always about sharing Your Word! I'm really struggling trying to keep up. First I'm in pain. Second I can't sleep too well. Third I seem to get more and more stressors coming at me all the time. I try to keep up and share and lead as best as I can, whenever I can. It's really not easy and for the most part is getting more and more difficult to follow and understand and keep up with. Worse still whenever I get comfortable enough for just a moment to read, or write, or blog, or whatever I need to do, then suddenly another mosquito shows up biting me somewhere. I can't seem to get any peace or solitude to stay focused and work on anything. I finally went shopping today and got myself some beer, so I’m ready to have my end-of-the-day beer already. But I'm still swatting at mosquitoes. . . I even broke off a key from my laptop trying to get a mosquito with my flyswatter.

What did you do now?

1:26pm 10/17/2024 I found my nest of breeding mosquitoes. It was literally right next to me on the counter, where I had setup my latest vegetable seeding bed. I was frustrated with the mess I make outside. I never felt like the seeding beds were working, and usually were a big mess. Yes, so I had to try to get one going inside. Of course, I literally took some seedlings out yesterday and planted them. 

Anyway, today Dick started me with SEEL again, or the “Spiritual Exercises for Everyday Living.” And I started reading in the book at the very beginning again. Yes, I read, sometimes, just a little, believe it or not! Anyway it wasn’t page 2 of my Ignatian Adventure book that begins with the story of a law student… lol, you’ll laugh at the legal treatise I sent to my Exodus Brothers yesterday….  Oh yea, so Page 2 in the book has my first Highlight, now bolder, darker and needing more attention… “To whom much is given, much is expected.”

Uhg, the story of my life!

Which I also posted to my "Men of God" group that I created on the Apple Chat service. I realized how I've been working this Team of Brothers to help me step deeper into my place and responsibility. Wow, I guess this has been in my face over and over today. This morning the Exodus reading was about Wisdom. And so I sent it to Lisette as we recognized and talked about this being the highest and most critical request. It's one thing to ask God for things, the Greatest request is to see as “God Sees” . . . I'm totally perplexed how many times I've come back to explaining to people how to ask for God's perspective.

 

I've always said that asking for God's Perception in all things is ideal. What does God want, what is the best to give in Love. But then I have said this is what it means to have "grown up in the Woods." Yes, listening to the life in the woods and seeking for the guidance of life, from life in all things. And God IS all life in the Woods, so all the Light and Love we feel through the woods is the experience of God. Knowing the unity and omnipresence of God, is seeing and experiencing God in ALL Life and then the Woods is all God.

I sent this Exodus readings to Lisette and I went to find a YouTube to listen to while making breakfast. Yes it's nice to continue in Spirit instead of the gossip on the radio. I guess my last YouTube visit was listening to the Eucharist Conference with Bishop Barron. So I jumped right into this sermon above from Bishop Barron on Sunday about wisdom, of course. What was so neat about this is how he was so clear and focused about God asking us, “What do we really really want”

What did you remember and write about?

I know, so OK here we go again. I remembered not wanting to wake up in the hospital after my motorcycle accident at 16. No I didn’t wanna come back. No, I wasn’t ready for anything, so God in his infinite Grace asked me ”what would I come back for?”  if He could give me anything, ”what would it be?” Oh, I grew up in the woods, so that was an easy thing to say. I wanted the world returned to Eden. I wanted the love and the beauty of the woods to be everywhere for everyone. God created this awesome Garden of Eden and I knew we belong in it. What else could I ask for?!

What was great about this moment was you were really specific and wanted to see the world as God had Dreamed and Planned. You were tired of the greed and selfishness of the American Machine. And of course, we want nothing more for all the people of Earth. Begging God to bring humanity back into the Garden of Eden was real noble and wonderful. However, do you remember God has never left The Garden and it was man's choice to leave, so such a request is up to you, not God at all. 

I know you’re so good at flipping things around on top of me again. So this spin is that we need to make the choice to return ourselves. So the spin asking You to bring us back, had to shift to leading men back. Now my Deepest Desire was to guide mankind back to this choice! I guess what I really was seeking, or asking, was for the guidance and wisdom to lead man back to this Garden of Eden With God! I knew there had to be a way for us to return. I know Jesus had brought us home from our sins to restore our relationship with God. And now returning home was about developing this relationship.

12:12pm 10/19/2024 As I remember returning to life after that accident, the desire was to understand “how.” How do we restore ourselves in the Garden of Eden? How does this become possible? What steps do we take to move into that space? What steps do we take to restore the Earth to its original beauty? What can we do as a race to bring us back to where we belong in this relationship with God?

How could it be all designed? How could we restore the original design? It is all a choice for us.

What you first wrote is remarkably similar to this. The key here is how specific you were about your love of God. The deepest desire expressed over and over was about fulfilling the Dreams and Plans of God. You never questioned what they were or what your place and benefit were. You were specific about God. Fulfilling God. No personal gain or desire, no need to succeed or attain something. But you were focused on The Goals of the Other, in real Love of Other. That is real pure Love! When we spun it back on you saying that you had left us, your question then became how you could change this. How you personally, could help bring mankind back to the Garden of Eden? Once again, the deepest desire expressed was about fulfilling the love of Divinity you had seen and witnessed in your youth, lost in the woods.

I get it, but the problem that I still see was that all I pursued was “How.” How is it possible? How can this change? How do we return to Eden? It was always about understanding how I get it, but the problem that I still see was that all I pursued was how. How is it possible? How can this change? How do we return to Eden? It was always about an action “HOW.” I was serious about understanding an action. Understanding how! Your answer never made any sense to me and I’m still searching https://patents.google.com/patent/US20070170306

What we did, in allowing this exploration to continue, was allow you to create and express your own vision and love. Pressing your own deepest desires to fulfillment brings forth your own passion. Your own love, and your own creation evolved into expression. The beauty and Grace of God’s gift inside of you comes forward in Word!

What your deepest desire became was the strongest love and truth you could know and express. And if you remember when we left you to explore this on your own the Dream and Visions that evolved were life changing throughout the Earth. You have heard and seen many aspects of your dream appear over and over again!

You continue to discount this and pretend to be humble, but deep down inside you know how much you shifted everything: http://www.starsusa.org/homestead/files/Dreams.htm

What is remarkable still is how little mankind has learned or explored these deeper truths you pursued. Wanting to know "how" was more than seeking the Wisdom and the Prudence, it was about stepping into the role of Creator as well. As you were passionate about “how to“ not simply "how." Beyond the knowledge and skills, you were focused on the actions and timing of creation and transmutation that are so far beyond. 

I guess so, I never had considered that aspect. And now as I remember how the visions and experiences seemed to be something so simple. I really never knew what I had done and where it would place me in the future. I'm really not sure what to do on where this will bring me. I've been perplexed about how to express what I've learned and understand. I've struggled to be and express so much since the beginning Words with you!

What we are doing is putting you into the place where all things can move forward

I get it and I simply need to move forward.
Thank You Dear Lord Jesus Christ,, I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.