Friday, July 24, 2026

she told me how I could ask to pray for peopl

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What do you need to share now?
I recognize that I have so much to share all the time and I’m learning and growing all the time. I also recognize that I have so much in hand. I’m never really sure what should be prioritized. Like now, I feel like I should go outside and start digging in the dirt. Larry’s kids are here but they’re gone with Juan's kids down the street so that’s wonderful. But I’m still not sure what I should be working on. It feels like I should get into my office and edit some things.

Wow, it’s already 4 o’clock and I didn’t realize that the whole day has gone by already. I stopped eating yesterday at about 4 o’clock. As I thought I would Fast today… So nothing to eat until 4 o’clock tomorrow I guess. I’ve said and felt this several times, but I’ve not been successful yet. Like wanting to is fine, but since I’ve been coughing I thought I should be eating. Last night I felt like I was getting this chill in my room so I changed the temperature from 77 to 80. It soon was too hot under all my blankets, which were soon kicked off.

Start In the Word! 8:13:47 7/21/2026 now after the Society of Saint Joseph where we saw a video of the story of Abraham who would always do God's Will, but would plan his own "insurance." Which was really not fully in Trust and Faith. 
What about his is so strong for you now.
I'm alway listening and following in the Word, but know that the challenges before me are about stepping into the places that You open for me and what this means is to have deeper Faith and Trust in each step that I take.  I also know that one day to the next I have different opportunities and different tasks to do. My SEEL class is really intense as it's really on point with what has happened to me RIGHT NOW.
Why is this intense, haven't you been down this road before?
I guess so, but Your actions and presence has become so much stronger and clearer these last few weeks . . .  And this brings me insecurity about what I do and what I need to do.
We have given you so very much grace and direction all the time, you are in the right place at the right time to bring so much forward that you have seen and understood all your life. Even today as you stepped forward to do as inspired, you were able to arrive on time, walk in as a guest, and speak with the leadership you needed to reach. Everything exactly as necessary for the next place and action you require. 
I get it. And I really try to keep moving forward and not fear or slow down . . .  It's always a challenge and I‘m always ready to step forward and accept the tasks and challenges as they are before me. Please dear Jesus fill me with your spirit to I may speak and act as a living example of God's will in action today.
What do you feel now reading this again.
I guess I've realized that I never have asked for "insurance" and usually blindly step into things with Faith . . .  
What you need to understand now, is that Abraham had a very strong direct experience while you are getting the whispers like Elijah.  And you have given everything. You gave up your life, you gave up your children, you gave up your family. And you never had insurance. You have been given so much that you never asked for.  
I am so very grateful for all of this Jesus. And each day now that I spend another moment reading and writing with You, trying to share and understand. And it’s always something more, how it’s something new. I am so grateful to have this opportunity. I know I have so many opportunities. And I always feel bad about those that I miss, but then I realize that I can’t do everything, and sometimes it’s important that I miss things, and I recognize that my instincts are pretty on target.
What You have before you, is very clear and very focused. Understand that you are in the right place at the right time and it’s always gonna be that way. You have worked really hard to get to this point and you don’t even understand how deep and powerful this point is. Just like giving up your life, and your mom, and your children, these are really powerful experiences that many don’t even survive. Remarkable as it may seem, you would do it again and you wouldn’t hesitate. This is part of who you are. That is a very powerful and significant development. The power and vibration that you are able to shift is simply beyond what most people could even understand. In fact, you don’t have a clue.
I missed my Wednesday Prayerline? I awoke at 5am and felt all frustrated. I made it to Mass, but then Thursday I didn’t. Not out of bed, no sunrise nothing yesterday. Today is Friday 7/24 7:50am and the Prayerline was wonderful. I had two calls from people I’ve spoken to before, which was really wonderful. I asked the first about healing since she was clearly doing great ministry work already. She was very specific on steps before me which was wonderful!
What did she share?
I she told me how I could ask to pray for people and then step into it more, allow the Spirit and Light of God to reach them. 
What
I  I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

Considering how God labors and works for you in all creatures means seeing the natural world not as a distant backdrop, but as God's active, daily workshop sustaining your life. Every plant, animal, and element acts as a quiet instrument of divine care, providing you with breath, food, and wonder. [1, 2, 3, 4, 5] 

The Labor of Sustenance 
  • The silent cooperation: God uses the physical world as a chain of giving, where soil, rain, and sun work together without pausing to yield your daily bread. 
  • The creatures as servants: Animals and plants fulfill their created purposes, providing beauty, balance, and material support for human life. 
  • The personal nearness: As the mystic Meister Eckhart noted, every single creature is full of God and acts as a living word or book speaking directly to your soul. [14] 
Recognizing the Divine Hand 
  • In the small things: Tending to a garden, watching an animal, or eating a meal reveals the ongoing, patient labor of the Creator. 
  • In active partnership: You join in this divine work when you care for the earth and use its gifts with a grateful heart. [2, 15, 16, 17] 
If you'd like, I can:Share specific passages from Scripture (like Psalm 104) that reflect this themeGuide a short mindfulness or prayer reflection on nature and daily graceExplore how a specific thinker like Meister Eckhart or Ignatius of Loyola viewed God in creationLet me know how you'd like to continue. 
AI can make mistakes, so double-check responses

In Ignatius of Loyola's 32-week retreat format of the Spiritual Exercises, Week 28 focus shifts directly to the culminating Contemplation to Attain Love (the Contemplatio). Day Five of this movement zooms entirely into the third point: meditating on how God labors and works (trabaja) for you within every facet of creation. [1, 2, 3, 4, 5] 
Rather than viewing God as a passive observer or a distant clockmaker, Ignatius instructs you to encounter a God who rolls up His sleeves to actively sustain your life through nature. [1, 6] 

1. The Core Dynamic: God as the Active Worker

  • The Laborer Motif: Ignatius writes that God "acts in the manner of one who is laboring" inside the elements, plants, and animals. [1, 5] 
  • Continuous Animation: God does not simply spark creation and leave; He continuously exerts divine energy to keep the universe from collapsing into nothingness. [1, 7] 
  • Practical Immanence: Divine love is translated into concrete utility—the sun burning to give heat, the soil processing nutrients, and water cycling to quench your thirst. [5] 

2. The Great Ladder of Divine Labor

Ignatius asks the retreatant to trace God's dynamic effort through four escalating tiers of reality: [8] 
  • In the Elements: God labors to give raw existence (being) to rocks, water, and air.
  • In the Plants: God actively pushes upward, laboring in the growth and vegetation of fruits and flora.
  • In the Animals: God works through instinct, providing creatures with sensation and movement.
  • In Humanity: God labors at the peak tier, giving humanity understanding and making a living temple out of your very soul. [8, 9] 

3. The Shift in Perspective (The Grace Sought)

  • From Resources to Relics: You stop looking at timber, rain, or food as mere commodities; they become tangible evidence of God working a shift on your behalf. [1] 
  • Antidote to Entitlement: Recognizing this immense, unceasing labor sparks profound humility, reminding you that your survival is a gift daily manufactured by God. [5, 10] 
  • The Ultimate Response: Seeing God exhaustively laboring for you naturally demands a response of mutual action, leading directly to the famous Suscipe prayer: "Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty...". [11, 12] 
If you would like to continue this reflection, I can:
  • Provide the exact text of the Suscipe prayer that concludes this specific meditation
  • Walk you through a 5-step Ignatian Examen centered on tracking God's labor in your day today
  • Outline what the remaining days of Week 28 cover in the Contemplation to Attain Love [2, 3, 12, 13, 14] 
How would you prefer to dive deeper?

This 5-step Examen is designed to help you pause and review your day through the lens of Ignatius’s Contemplation to Attain Love, focusing specifically on how God has been actively laboring for you through the people, things, and events of the last 24 hours. [1, 2] 

1. Become Aware of God’s Presence

  • The Concept: Transition from your busy day into quiet reflection.
  • The Focus: Remind yourself that you do not have to search for a distant God. He is already here, actively sustaining the very breath in your lungs and the chair beneath you.
  • Action: Take three deep breaths, acknowledging that the air you breathe is God's immediate gift to you in this exact second.

2. Give Thanks for the Day's Labors

  • The Concept: Review your day specifically looking for where creation worked on your behalf.
  • The Focus: Scan your morning, afternoon, and evening. Where did God "roll up His sleeves" for you?
  • Action: Thank God for concrete things: the sun providing light, the farmer and soil that produced your lunch, the electricity powering your tools, or a pet that offered comfort.

3. Examine Your Responses to His Work

  • The Concept: Reflect on how you interacted with God’s labor throughout the day.
  • The Focus: Notice your mindset toward the world around you.
  • Action: Ask yourself honestly: Did I treat creation as a mindless commodity, or did I see it as a gift? Did I notice God working through the kindness of a coworker or the patience of a stranger? Did I fight against reality, or cooperate with it?

4. Ask for Forgiveness and Healing

  • The Concept: Bring your moments of blindness or entitlement to God.
  • The Focus: Address the times you took His constant labor for granted or misused the gifts of creation.
  • Action: Gently acknowledge any moments of greed, wastefulness, or irritability today. Express your desire to be more mindful, and ask God to heal any exhaustion that kept you from seeing His love at work.

5. Look Ahead to Tomorrow’s Cooperation

  • The Concept: Prepare to step back into the world as a co-laborer with God.
  • The Focus: Anticipate the demands of tomorrow and choose to meet God in them.
  • Action: Think about your schedule for tomorrow. Ask God for the grace to see Him laboring in your specific tasks, your meals, and your relationships. Conclude by resolving to match His labor with your own love and service.
If you'd like, I can:
  • Help you script a personal prayer to close this Examen
  • Provide a printable or copyable version of these steps to keep on your phone or desk
  • Explain how this Examen connects to the Ignatian concept of being a "contemplative in action" [3, 4, 5] 
Which would be most helpful for your practice?

A Man After God's Own Heart - Part 1




The Lessons of Love - Part 2

The Power of Love - Part 1









at 6:15 PM 0 comments

Wednesday, July 01, 2026

to achieve God's Will NOW!

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

It's something that is getting so much stronger all the time. I love Your Word Dear God! Yes, I know You and realize how much Love and beauty is all around us. Each moment more and more coming together in Truth and Power. Sharing Your Love and sharing your Grace each moment we step forward.  
What happened there =>
It was YOUR Word! I came inside from the rain as I knew I still needed to write. But didn't have a picture to post here yet. Yes whenever I add a picture here the "Text-Space" onlien in this app is smaller so I can zoom-in and make the text really big, which is easier to read and write. So there was this blank pad sitting in front of me and I just started writing to YOU, and then snapped a picture and posted it here. . . . and I need another now. 
Make no mistake, it's all at stake here, he knows my name, I'm not living for applause, he calls me chosen, free, forgiving, child of the King. . . I am Love! This truth is central to contemporary Christian favorites like Francesca Battistelli's 'He Knows My Name' and the Southern Gospel classic 'Child of the King'.
It was all about sharing your Word, here above coming to me from the radio again! And now the Mass verse I've looked up: “Seek good, and not evil, that you may live; and so the Lord, the God of hosts, will be with you, as you have said. Hate evil, and love good, and establish justice in the gate; it may be that the Lord, the God of hosts, will be gracious to the remnant of Joseph.” Amos‬ ‭5‬:‭14‬-‭15‬ ‭RSV‬‬ https://bible.com/bible/2020/amo.5.14-15.RSV “But let justice roll down like waters, and righteousness like an everflowing stream.” Amos‬ ‭5‬:‭24‬ ‭RSV‬‬ https://bible.com/bible/2020/amo.5.24.RSV
What is ringing through to you is clear and stronger than ever. As the tasks and responsibilities grow and shift before your eyes and you know it’s all in your hands. Each task, each challenge, each responsibility is specific and focused. And again it’s very obvious in each verse you hear.
I was surprised this morning, the Prayerline was strong and I saw and knew the light coming through to people. Even some repeat calls again! Then the Family Focus and Charles Stanley each inspired written notes and connections seeing my place and time stronger than ever.

And then I learn and grow more. Accepting what I see before me, more than ever . . . 
What happened today?
3:30:40 7/2/2026  Wow, I was up before my 5am alarm went off and started getting ready for my bike ride to mass thinking I could get out early for the sunrise and then swim after Mass!  Then I got a message from Dick about our meeting?!?! Wow, hadn't seen any emails, but I ran downstairs to get online. Course this laptop didn't have the emails all set, so it took me a while to find his invite and get online. But then It was just wonderful to experience and share with him.  I explained how the week 27 about the Resurrection was so powerful for me, reminding me of my own death and return. 
What was critical for you was connecting to Joni, Joyce and Dawn's Deaths, where they were all here to help you. And each even knew more about your place and mission than you did.  Joyce sent you her family Bible which you started to read. Then Dawn got you focused on accepting and learning what this means. And then Joni reminded you that you have won and saved the last city and now can work on saving everyone else.
I never heard this before. Your Word is getting deeper into details that I've never considered before. . . .
What else do you think we are here for?  Each opportunity we have to lead and teach you more opens another level of focus and power for you to step into. This is your place and your responsibility.  As you have said for years, shifting the system is your place and purpose. Of course it's never easy, it's not supposed to be easy.  
I get it, I know it's all about your Word! The Joy and Bliss I experience here is exactly as I need. Each day stepping into more work and more clarity. It's always a challenge, but I'm always ready and doing what is needed now before me. I feel tired and stressed sometimes, but somehow that's always only passing and easy to address.
What you do each moment is fine. Trust where you are lead. Trust all you do and all tat shows up. Recognize we are always with you and make the beauty and love show up as you need every day. It's all just right and you are ready to complete all that is before you.
I know it's all by Your Word!  Thank you for the cash I need for the next trustee check. Please let's step beyond getting just enough at the last minute. Peace and comfort at home is really about stepping beyond these concerns and trying to figure what I need to do next. I'm ready to be full time and stable again. I know i've never had to worry and never have really been in "need" for anything.  You ahve asked me to pray for myself. And I want you HERE and NOW, to be able to choose and experience all that we have in Joy and Bliss as only you can. And yes, my own stability would help with this too.
What about getting your readings and writings done today too.
Thank You Dearest Love Lord Jesus. . .  I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ. . . Please lend Your Strength, Love, & Wisdom to achieve God's Will NOW!

at 7:40 AM 0 comments

Saturday, June 20, 2026

nothing is beyond your grace

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word! We are sharing so much more every day. I had another meeting with a counselor and he was so clear and focused wanting specific, very specific details, about what happened at the church. Getting the detailed specifics about what I saw and what I said to nad.  It really surprised me and he even really understood the bigger picture, literally after getting more specific details on my kids experiences as well.  I had created a chronological timeline by taking the different transcripts from six conversations, and I put them into AI to get a chronological break down of my experiences. I mean Dick told me to rewrite my experience of meeting Christ Jesus. I didn't know that doing this would include so much coming together, and it really happens more and more.


I was just starting the last day of my last SEEL exercises (Wk 26) and something went wrong so I tried to close it before it saved.  When I reopened the page and it was blank.  So I lost everything. Wow, there is no way I can get this done again before our meeting tomorrow morning.  So now what, I know there is too much coming together and I try to write it all up and keep reviewing and understanding all that is before me. It's really crazy challenging most of the time, and it's never easy for me to keep-up. I know things are shifting drastically and I know that I'm bringing together a significant effort to keep a lot together here. 
What you have shared this morning is really critical. You have recognized the priorities and focus that is necessary for you to move forward. This morning was the very first time you ended your morning meeting with a Prayer.  You were spontaneous and clear. This too was very focused and decisive for your progress. So what else happened this morning?
I went to visit Jim and Lynn. And Jim just got back surgery. That’s kinda freaky again because I know I need to start healing more. I randomly went through a lot with Dick this morning. As I was sitting there, I told him about Joni and getting knocked over these steps next to me, where I looked up to see Joni’s picture. Then she asked me if we would make it.  Course I wrote about this in the last week too, and the Word with Lecto Divina and Lecto Listening! 
What about Divine Listening. . . 
I know a Word for this is LOVE Listening! Where we really stop to listen and feel deeply into the experience we have created for ourselves. . . . I love the way this sounds: Words with Lecto Divina and Lecto Listening! 

It's really wonderful to consider my day and what I learned and experienced again. I know I always have this buddy on my shoulder. I always thought it was all the big brother cameras watching and recording everything.  While I really always have known we are surrounded by angels and the grace of God all the time. He just needs me to remember to share it.
What we have done will really be remarkable. You have seen many aspects already, but the full blessing before you will be a delightful surprise. You have really done everything very well. Each time you step into more it grows and evolves before you. People and experiences are getting more clear and focused with each step that you take. We are really delighted, and yes, you will have family again, and remember that you have to put things together for all families before starting your own. Yes, you will want to start immediately, but you have to set everything up first so that next fifty is just family and fun.
Psalm 32:8 Word! The Verses Breakdown (ESV)
  • Verse 8 (Divine Direction): "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you."
  • Verse 9 (A Warning Against Stubbornness): "Be not like a horse or a mule, without understanding, which must be curbed with bit and bridle, or it will not stay near you."
  • Verse 10 (The Outcome of Choices): "Many are the sorrows of the wicked, but steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the Lord."
Verse 8 (Divine Direction): "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you . . . steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the Lord."
What we have done really brought everything back together into one place. Everything that needs to change it’s gonna start here. You’re gonna show everybody how to do it, right. That’s what the lawsuit is all about. The lawsuit’s gonna take over everything. Your challenge is gonna be significant. Completely beyond what you’ve ever seen before. So that the Glory of God will be exemplified completely into The New Covenant 
I know that Your Word will take on flesh again! Which means I’m getting another Fat Ram! “Beyond anything I could imagine” and it's really going to shift everything…
What you are doing now is more than you have ever done, and again this will open into another world beyond all you have imagined. The earth will dance with you. Be sure to begin each meeting with a prayer. Stepping into world changes is really what you have done all your life. 
I love you dear Lord Jesus as I see more and more of your fire….yes I laugh as I see the love all around me. . . So please let me sleep, I really have a full day again tomorrow.
What you will find is stepping beyond food and beyond sleep and very much beyond what traps and stresses people out more and more each day. Your gift will be demonstration and action, doing the things that rarely even get talked about. It's really something that no one else can do.
I’m so Grateful Jesus, please Continue to help and guide me through all these challenges before me!  I know nothing is beyond your grace! I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

at 4:50 PM 0 comments

Monday, June 01, 2026

You accepted and stepped in it regardless

5/7/2026 12:41pm Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word! I need to be more clear and powerful about who I am and what I do. Finding God in life is easy, Truth, Beauty and Goodness all brings us closer to God. And so last night I was invited to the Eco Club at Outcast Brewing. Wow, a brewery less than a mile away from me. Yes, I was able to bike out there really quick and back home easily too.

What did you find?
It was kinda neat, as I was able to hear about all the programs and people who were there and what they were doing and wanting to do. I was able to connect to several people and was happy to volunteer to help.
What did you feel about all this!
It really felt very familiar, like something I had been to before or had already done. Now that you ask, I also noticed some cute girls and even spoke to one afterwards, who invited people to help with coral reefs. Of course, a great deal of the issues and conversation were about issues I'm addressed all of my life.
Yes, What it was really all about was bringing you back to address your passions more clearly. You were careful only to have one drink, but you still drank it down so quickly that it affected you too much anyway. . . 
Ask the Holy Spirit to give you a deeper knowledge of yourself and your need for God's grace, and the Lord is the one who reveals us to ourselves.
God reveals himself to us, and he reveals us to ourselves.
Saint John Paul II writes that man is a being who is incomprehensible to himself unless love is revealed to him. And the Holy Spirit is the love between the Father and the Son, and so it is love that reveals us to ourselves. 
I know and see more and more power and clarity coming into me. This morning at the Society of Saint Joseph meeting at Saint Paul's Catholic Church, we started with Chris Stefanick teaching about Pentecost and we then went into these questions.  Of course the piece Chris shared reinforced what I had shared with everyone before we started. I had my little print out of my classes advertisement and so I was happy to speak more about all the Blessing's I've seen with joining the church. I mean each day I learn more about being Catholic, and really find out how my mom taught so much already. Like I mentioned doing the Consecration to Mary and really learning to listen to Mary, only to discover I had heard her voice before. I said how growing up in the woods I thought I was talking to the trees and the squirrels but now discover it was Saint Mary all along.
Wow, this was really powerful and important to share with them. 
I’m always finding more and more to do and experience. It's always a big learning and a big challenge. I'm never sure what I'm doing or why, but somehow I'm always in the right place at the right time to do something that really seems remarkable to me.
I realize that it’s something a lot more than this. I understand how the vibration changes everything all the time! Trust and know how God moves us along!
We have told you before you were the catalyst to shift a lot of things here. And your desire to save everyone and bring everyone back to Christ is really strong and influences everything that you do. Like here again reading and writing today is important as you are stepping into things stronger all the time. You kinda pretend to not know what's happening, but you really have a deeper understanding than most.  And here again as you start to take your home more seriously, and recognize how important it is to respect your space and your time. Like now using this laptop again. You haven't touched it in months, but now have found it's better to leave downstairs that the iPad that was more limited. 
I know, and I really get how this is just starting.  I mean, I know and see how different aspects are lining up. I've been busy running around and know and see so much around me that is aligned with me! It's really just a joy to see how things are shifting all around, and each day I get more things to do and more time to work. Like now sitting with hot chocolate and munchies, I'm likely fasting again tomorrow.  I've sorta been in and out of my "fast routine."  I've not been strong about it, except only having one meal a day. Then I do skip a day too, but that seems to be once a week instead of every other day. 

I have a visit from a brother this week, so I was so happy to cleanup my kitchen for a guest.  I've really had tools and crap spread all over for weeks. It's kinda weird as I was blaming the six courses I was teaching last term as an excuse for not doing things around my house and yard! I really have so much to do, and keep saying that I'll be doing an hour inside and then an hour outside.  I was doing this with the grading and the other class work, but haven't started in the summer yet. I've got so much to do and it's kinda crazy.  I'm sure I'll get on the ball soon. 
We really need yo u to take this seriously. You know what you need to do and you start and stop and start and stop. Like writing this now, you know you need to be writing so much more.
I get it, as more and more come together with ease. And I see and know my place more and more each day. Which really brings me to uncover and understand more of my own trauma and learning experience. It's really remarkable to consider how I'm sitting on a pile of pillows with my little white pencil and this awesome iPad doing exactly what I love to do. Yea to share and experience my time with you and how much I learn and grow each moment.

It’s really funny how I recently got a text message from someone who needed prayers and support. No idea except it was some random text. And I've walked her through to a relationship with Jesus. I mean, I knew I had to share more and she asked the right questions and stepped into each bit of it. Course, I realized how important it was to make myself clear and focused taking each step slowly and carefully. 

Of course, then I realized I had to write everything very specifically as I had shared it a few times and really needed to get more specific and focused about it all.
What happened now 2:19:03pm 6/1/2026. As you stumble typing the date as a cute blond walks in front of you. Yes we told you to stop for a beer, and you thought it was about writing and sharing the latest challenged before you. But you still haven’t come to terms with who you are and what you can do. You understand that everything you have ever imagined it coming together at your feet. It’s really what the whole point is. You asked to save the world, and you might have a lot more to do with this than you know.
I just went to see the counselor that the church scheduled and arranged for me. And to my surprise he wants to know more about me and my challenges “before Covid” and all that I learned from then. As weird as it may seem the receptionist downstairs was a really cute USF student. And asked me about USF since I have an Alumni Shirt on. So I told her about my classes and gave her the little flyer card that I have for my classes saying that she might enjoy them too. 

As it turned out the counselor asked if his intern students could sit through my sessions. Wow, sharing deep personal intimate craziness with the three of them. One who I'd only met and chatted with briefly there moments before. It was kinda weird. They wanted to know more about the history. Course I really don't remember that much. I did tell them about the hypnosis. But I never gave them the real details about seeing the Light flash back to the very First Spark.
What you never heard before, is that you have witnessed that First Spark very intimately and not many people can even understand what that even means.  Yes, you have always had a unique experience.  You accepted and stepped in it regardless of the proof or verification that everyone asks for. You have stepped in with Trust, and Love, that respect and deeper commitment has opened so much for you. Like walking through walls. You never really understood what that meant, but then You asked for clarity and you saw it happen.  You never cared if anyone believed you, and never needed to prove it. you Know. You experience. the rest is irrelevant. More and more will be coming as you step into this more 
I don't understand, step into what?
It's about Truth and respect and stepping into deeper levels of what you do and must do. . . like rushing to finish this last word, because someone has offered to "help you." What do you "need" help with?  Anything?  Yes you are always questioning yourself. . . You need to trust your gifts. . . you need help understanding and trusting what it means to BE YOU! 
I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ. Thank you Loving Lord Jesus!

at 4:02 PM 0 comments

Monday, April 13, 2026

surprised me when I walked into it

"It’s almost like they have some kind of fear of me?  It's weird, I guess I have confronted them before about drinking too much or other trauma I know is hidden . . . " but we’ve never really spoken about any of it, so nothing has been addressed.


 So Lisette invited me to this Healing Mass and the CCW breakfast after it. Yes, see blue pic at right. It kinda surprised me when I walked into it, as they were really specific about it being something planned for trauma victims. I guess what surprised me most was that I had just written this piece about my children and I never had considered how it had affected me (yes the next pic down at right).

Sure I knew the boogieman had gotten away with more crimes again and I'm sure there was more each day, as he's spent his whole life abusing others and getting away with it. I mean when the detective told me he had seen his father kill someone before age five . . . . Yikes! It was really weird as I spoke to the ladies running the event I opened my iPhone and checked the last photo, where I had just reviewed it and marked it up, underlining traumas.

I mean, Thursday Michelle from the JoyFm came through to me and I actually admitted to everyone about my suicide experiences.  I said how Madison was born and Michelle reminded me it was all about Christ Jesus and I donated $444.44 to hear the birth announcement on the Radio.

Yes, of course this was what got me to St Pete. Having a new baby across the Bay was the perfect excuse for me to get a real job and move over to see them all the time.

Then on Friday I was sitting in the men's prayer group and I saw Fr. Curtis walking his dog outside. So I told the men I needed to catch him. I was actually wanting to do reconciliation before the Divine Mercy Sunday Mass.  Of course, then I remembered the counselor he recommended was not and I needed to ask about another. Then I fell into stories about Michelle and Lisette and really explained my whole life to him again including the constant blessing of the brotherhood from the church.

Yes, It was another random Ambush. Catching him by surprise and jumping in on him like crazy. I really feel sorry for the poor guy sometimes. I mentioned Fr. Kevin and going barefoot for healing. Yes, I noticed the long scar and have heard he’s doing ten radiation cancer lies. I mean I've shared about the lies of cancer in all the welcome meetings and have said more to some brothers. But no one believes me, or accepts the crazy experiences, that I have almost daily . . . 

Like I saw dan sit in front of me in the Healing Mass too, and I was kinda surprised he came so close . . . Mike and Jesse soon sat next to him and Roy on the other side. He’s clearly twisted them all. I then saw him walk into the CCW breakfast too. But as soon as he saw me he left that!

I did get to speak to Fr. Claudius after the Healing Mass, who did my reconciliation right then for me. Yes, we walked outside for a private moment before the CCW meeting. He had me google the act of contrition that I then read with him that moment (again the clip at right)! Again I felt so completely blessed and grateful to him. I did invite him to the Saturday Morning Market telling him I already had ripe papayas in my fridge that I could share as well.  Not today, maybe next time, which we have said a dozen times now. . 

Yes the Blessing never cease . . . . And this time I’m trying to show more details as I always collect all the pictures and links, but never remember to post them.
Yes, the next four pictures at right were shared at the CCW meeting. The first is the “Care About Me” program that F.A.S.T. Started years ago and it never got good advertisements, and never got out there. Course, when I got home, I had three more TRAUMA messages (also copied below) . . . Yes, so I called “CARE” and asked about resolving Trauma and even learning more about boundaries.

She said my name was already listed, as I called in 2024 about financial help. . . . Yes, I’m sure that happened too, as I’ve been needing financial help for a while. I’m still not sure I need help there or not.  I did get a notice about a deposit with the trustee today, but it was dated last month, not yesterday when I sent a new one.

Anyway the CARE folks got me an appointment to speak to someone locally so we’ll see about that now too. Course then I got a note from Fr. Curtis as well . . . yes it was weird as I was checking my email for the CARE appointment and found his note instead. 

Oh yes, next here is the notice about the Alpha House, who was the guest speaker with CCW.  Yes, the sweet lady speaking actually volunteered there and worked as an intern and loves the place. Yes family, helping kids or pregnant moms is always a family thing. I guess that’s why Larry is still here, where I do the same for kids too.  Course I wanted to invite her over to my house and show her everything about making a space to get women and kids into the community better. 

What’s funny about this, is that as I make these statements I realize how if I could get it working right. The schools next door would likely give the kids special guest passes to attend.  I mean, helping people in trouble is really what the church is all about anyway. Whether it’s my real ministry or not, it always evolves into the love of God to serve those people who really need it. 
Yes, like the F.A.S.T. Meeting we have scheduled this next week.  This next picture to the right is the FAST invitation to bring people to the next event.  Carol and Mary were there at CCW to announce it and invite everyone.  Fr Curtis has paid for another bus to take us all to it. 
What about getting real with what you have to share and being very clear and strong about it. It’s important that you step into this more because you are unearthing understanding into things at a deeper level. That’s simply where you’re at. That’s not something you have a choice about. The choice is being clear about it and direct with everybody here in your blog.
I get it. So several things have all hit me at the same time now. Talking to my kids and realizing nothing has been said or done about what happened. Or how what happened actually affected me. And I guess the really truth about it is suicidal in nature. It’s really not something I’ve considered in a while, but to deny that I ever had considered it would be a lie.

So stepping beyond this lie to seek healing and forgiveness for the trauma I experienced when my kids left me. Course I know that the ten years I had singing them to sleep was more than most men ever see of their children. And I actually spent more time with them during those days than I spent with anyone. And it is weird when I consider that divorce. Yes, it was a big surprise, but then I met Kathy. The Swimsuit Model from Hawaii who was managing a dating service in Clearwater. Wow, a Clearwater Florida video dating service sent me a post card right as my divorce hit the courts. I guess that was good marketing on their part sending the card to some professional’s home in the Seminole Heights neighborhood of Tampa.
What you feel here is how little this is understood by anyone.  You had done the work of God, and closed the book on the chapter as you were told. The ten Talents you were given had blossomed into some really beautiful fruit that you enjoyed and indulged in for months.  It was very clear that you were given the Fat Ram you had asked for again. And this time she was a professional and ready to help you prepare for the next tasks given to you.
Ok this is too weird now . . . .  As I know, I have a lot to write and I know adding the details here is important and I keep trying to fill the space. And now this RAVI post shows up again. And I added it and spoke about it earlier as another notes hitting me the same time that same morning I needed to address the trauma. 
What grabs you now about this post where you highlighted “a rare kind of energy” . . . .
I guess when I’m real about, it is what you have done now! Reminding me of Maryanne and Kathy, BEing the Fat Rams that I asked for challenging you to step-up into the prodigal son lessons. And the experiences with each were Tantric in nature. And I can say that very easily and never get into any details. But I guess the point now is speaking about this deeper and stronger energy that I know and experience. . . BUT IN TRUTH, I’ve been there and know this. And I’ve conquered it as well. I mean, knowing how we are physical Beings here to create love. And that physical aspect of this love can easily over-power the spiritual aspects of love.

Wow this is getting crazy. 
Yes, What shows up now as you work is more important still!
I need to retell some story about how healing feels? I guess what comes to mind is how I met with the hypnosis counselor that called her work Angel Readings, as she would invite the Gaurdian Angels in to lead and guide the sessions she created. And when she asked me about my first traumas and I remembered trying to play catch with a baseball and my dad. 

The glove I had was my brother’s stiff leather glove, and I couldn’t squeeze it shut. And my dad lost his temper convinced that my hand was no smaller than my brothers, so if he could use it I could too. And I remember sharing this with the counselor, how I recognized how me and my father had this “miss-understanding” that resulted in anger and conflict, or punishment. And as I spoke to her about what I was seeing and feeling that moment before I was five in the backyard of the house in NJ. I remember seeing how my father had a similar fight over playing catch when he was a little kid. 

How could I blame my dad for this anger and all when he had he same experience with his father. 
What else did you see. And yes, you have written about this before. And you will find it when you start getting more published.
I get it, of course!  And so when I was there with my angles reaching back to my father as a kid trying to understand his father’s anger over a silly game of catch in the backyard. I suddenly saw that his father had done the same as a child, and suddenly it flashed back from son to father again and again in this vivid spiral of bright light. Each Father and Son sharing in this moment with me knowing we could accept and forgive all the way back to the very beginning.  
What is real in your experience is that neither of your children have taken responsibility for how they have treated you and how this similar power and vibration is still stuck in them. You here again have expressed and resolved deep personal emotions . . . . As you know Love is in this energy in motion, and whenever these feeling and experiences are NOT EXPRESSED they are trapped and lost. This energy of Love and Power that you have been able to share and flow openly each day is trapped by those who refuse to grow.  Refuse to Listen, Refuse to love. Refuse to keep this Energy in Motion 
Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word! Everyday so much more comes together that I know is the work of God!
I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

at 11:25 AM 0 comments

Sunday, April 05, 2026

gifts of clothing or tools and things

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What you have is more coming together all the time. You are always at right place at the right time. This is part of your experience. You might question it, or not understand it, or even disagree with it. But it simply is what you have now!
I get it. I mean, I realized today how I have four classes set for the next term, which is essentially full-time work. And this term I will earn enough extra to save and cover the summer expenses. Which is really remarkable as I consider my lot in life. Biking, teaching, and praying as I really don't need or want anything more, though having a lady around would be great!

OK, I confess I saw a cute young girl climbing into a car with two others and flashed to having all their kids in my house, where they were all busy professionals and I was the stay at home dad taking care of everyone . . . What a delightful idea

What or which would you want?? 
I really do not want anything More.. I feel so very blessed and lucky to be here alone with too much already.  I did get outside for a moment, and thought to make bird houses from scrap wood I found. Course, that was a complete delight as well since I recognized the opportunity and saw all the pieces come together in ease. I guess that is really my place and my challenge more than ever, to simply accept my place and the immediate tasks and opportunities as they appear before me.
What you might want to explore more is the great chasm between making bird houses and making children with three women. Especially since the concept of marriage or sex, never seemed present at all. It is more about being a father and supporting others than anything involving sex and marriage.
I guess that is showing how far I’ve come over these years of being caught up in this world of selfishness and control! 
What this is about is more than the simplicity of getting closer to God. You have so much at hand, and you are allowing more direction every day. Like getting a glass of wine now, and turning on your keyboard to type as you sit at you table. You really do type really fast, and are able to release this experience with us very easily with the keyboard. This experience is so dynamic and real for you. And you have been able to teach others. It’s really important that you understand and acknowledge this as the real Divinity that IT IS. Like, this morning speaking to your children at the farmer’s market and getting real about this experience you are deep into. You shopped and spent more than you had planned to, thinking you had enough food already.
It was weird, I actually only spent $100, and got another bottle of wine and the Home Depot staples I needed to build bird houses.  Yes when I noticed the pile of wood in my yard ideal for birdhouses, I tried the electric staple gun which had only 3/4” staples meaning 1/4” was holding things together. Not enough, reading the labels on the tools I could get up to 1.5” staples so I got some now.  

Jim took me out for lunch last week and I got another check from USF right before I left, so I was checking my budget to see if I could buy us lunch yet.  He’s always checking in on me, so I was happy to admit I had even given my ten percent tithing to the church, fixed my AC and got pieces I needed for fixing the well and fence at home.  I’m really so proud of myself being almost stable and clear again.  Course I admitted again how grateful I was to have his concern and help, as these bothers at church did more for me than anyone has ever done.

Remarkable as it is, it’s only my mom who did more. And I’ve had good friends and lovers, but they were usually on the receiving side instead of the giving side. And those who did love and give to me, would share more within very simple boundaries and limits. Like gifts of clothing or tools and things I really needed around the house or whatever. When I stop to consider the joy or a gift in surprise, all I can really remember is the experience of my third grade birthday party where my mom invited all the neighbors and really surprised me with cake ice cream and games after school.

It was great having lunch and telling Jim what I was doing and where things were. I mean, I also talked to Dr JJ who said 4 courses is full time, so doing six now is considered time & a half.  So the fall I’ve got full-time again. 2 at USF and 2 at SPC. . . It sorta makes me feel special. I mean I’m really doing what I love, and to be assigned the LOVE from two Colleges feels so remarkable. Course Jim is asking me about a “full-time” job to get the regular insurance and benefits that creates stability for our culture.  But I could really careless about all of that. I only needed that when I had a wife and children to care for. as for just me, I’ve always been indestructible, doctors only would give me the annual confirmations on what I already knew! 

So these four courses are enough to pay all my bills, so I can stay here in this incredible home Jesus Gave me. I can be at peace and fix and clean everything a bit at a time. Like I bought all the root veggies and chicken soup stuff this weekend, so I’m making the regular stuff I love to make. It smells so good here now. But I’ve only had my bowl of fruit so far. I already have what I need to make another big bowl of fruit too. So the root veggies and soup are enough to feed an army. I always wonder if I’ll be alone or be feeding an army. I’m always ready for both it seems. I’m really so very grateful for this awesome experience.

Like having the summer off like a teacher or student. Wow, I’ve not done that in years. I really feel so very blessed to have this experience on my own again.  And I know this is something I likely asked for at one time or other. And I’ve been really careful not to ask for anything. I mean having this peace and comfort is awesome, and getting to guidance to do Mass and Ritual and whatever I need to do it’s more than enough.
What about really sharing these wonderful blessings you have?
I try and offer to most all the time. Each day I feel I reach out to someone and try to do something helpful and wholesome even if it's just for my garden, kitchen, or neighbor.  I know I can do so much more, and days like today I want to sit and write with the perfect beautiful breeze flowing over me and not do anything else.
What happens is that you experience this peace that is so powerful and beyond you that you really have no reason or desire for anything else. 
I get it, but I really need to do grades, or yard work or hundreds of other things I’ve half started all around me. Funny, I keep checking my bank accounts to be sure I know where everything is and what I can do or not do. Like doing Lent with Brent had me asking about a visit north where he said I had to plan with Emily.

It was funny as the very next time I called Emily, she answered almost immediately. So we spoke about a few times that might work and I wonder about it since both my kids sound almost skeptical about visits or something. Like they have some fear?  It's weird, I guess but I have confronted them before about drinking too much or other trauma I know is hidden . . . 
What is real in your experience is that neither has taken responsibility for how they have treated you. Dealing with their own traumas they created lying to a judge is only the start. There are many very physical traumas they experienced beyond anything they have shared, discussed on even acknowledged. Running from these experiences will only create cancer, illness, and greater traumas to address in the future. 
I get it and really have known this all along. I mean when I saw colleen and paul celebrating at lunch in NC knowing they had taken my children from me again and had her parents supporting them as my children claimed "Fears" against me. Wow, celebrating lies and deceptions! 
Why do you feel this now?
I guess, I just wrote my son asking about visiting him and admitting I wasn't interested in doing Airbnb. I said that to Emily too, which resulted in a weekend visit.
What they learn and grow from is not your responsibility. You stayed in the love and truth where you belong and can lead and guide only when they are ready. Yes, you know you are in an important place of power and focus. Allowing that to be enough is also important too. You don't need to press and push on these issues until they are ready. 
I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

at 11:59 AM 0 comments

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