you know I have RANDOMLY, forwarded messages to you both for YEARS!
Chris gave me crap about it once, saying some BCC written to someone else is meaningless. . . Again today I'm in Tears writing a message "to someone else" that I wish I could share with my Family.
I've never had real Family. EXCEPT FOR YOU! . . . Sure, Kim and Collen, Dad and Mom. . . only MOM was unconditional and uninterrupted. . . and unending through everything and anything!!! I mean you both even left me for ten years. . . (and might never read this, and certainly won't answer)
The Men's Fraternity at Saint Raphael's asks us to witness to each other all the time. . . I mean real men, sharing REAL LIFE. . . I mean, holding up another who gets to tears. . . I mean real tears. I bet you didn't know this. My dad would beat me when I was a kid. I mean, belts, and all really bad, where I had stripes on my body and blood. Most people can not even understand this. Except maybe the women at the AlphaHouse. . . But when people ask me to explain. . . I say a few things. . . Like, I never knew how it affected me. . . Except KIM Taught me how to CRY AGAIN. I didn't cry when you guys left me. I didn't cry when my mom died. I just didn't cry at all anymore. . . . It's like one time, I was speeding through town, drunk again; with three people in my little rabbit. I laughed racing by the cop hidden at the gas station, and shut off my lights. . . Course the sirens turned on and he was after me. The guys YELLED for me to stop.
So I did.. . . when the cop looked in my window. . . "OH Shit, do you know what your dad will do to you! . . . who else can drive? Take this kid home. . . " Later I found out that he had seen my dad pick me up at the police station once. . .(did you know Chuck's Dad was the county Sheriff, who likely knew more about me tan I do) The belt was swinging in the car. I couldn't run, I couldn't hide. . . Whatever the cop saw, was enough to save me ass again. . . Funny the last year in High School I thought I was invisible. . . the cops would never stop me or approach me. . . Even once when they saw us walking up from the valley where we exploded something I made,there was this giant cloud of sparks and such behind us . . . . when the cop drove right past me. . .
Oh anyway. . . I love you guys, and I have posted my messages to you on a blog, since you came home again see the CC
Rafe, bringing the stars to man
stars2man@yahoo.com
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