Scientific American: Fragmentation Quickly Destabilizes Amazon Rain Forest

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What do you still need?

I'm not sure, I know I need to change this blogger so people can read it in date order... lol.... instead of backwards like I write it. . . lol. . . Course they've got the switch in there somewhere, I just need to find it and do it. I still seem to be changing websites too. I even thought to change the original... lol... Oh they need to add the auto update feature to the spell checker, so it can catch what we want it to... too... lol...

What do you really need to do?

Oh, I spoke to Sharon again after class. She said she found my article and wanted to mark it up some more before giving it back to me. I said anything was enough already. . . .

We talked about a lot of things. Finally i told her she was wasting her time with the report we wrote, hoarding it, like the bureaucrats in the Patel center, lost in their fiefdoms. Then I said it was exactly like Mike with the faculty senate... teacher's have all the power, they just don't know how to use it... lol... lost in EGO!

so I started to say how stars could have done all the old bikes and PCs all over campus already... and she said I should do it.

No you should do it,
you and Mike should be directors on the stars board and do it all now!!!
Oh daaaa!

What was that?

I felt how she reacted. It's always the name... everyone wants their name on things. Like so much EGO everywhere. That's how people get so lost in things, everyone wants to control things. mine mine mine ... lol...

So I tell her that if she helps me get it together we can change the name to anything she wants. The purpose, goals and history will never change, so I could really care less about the name. Funny, I said the same thing to Chuck...

Hum, yea I could do it all myself. . . lol. . . if I had nothing else to do!

What else did you feel there?

Something else she said in class, was that the new dean wants to try 4 week classes. Course she hates it and everyone else thought it was crazy already with 8 week classes. So I told her how it was 4 week class with nothing else. . . or more like all the classes are four weeks long like www.mum.edu does it... I thought I would like that a lot. She said the new dean was from Iowa State where they do that in their MBA program. I checked it out online, and they do it worse than we do it here.

So of course I want to change all that too now... lol... like I have any spare time to do anything!!! lol...

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ. Please lead me and Guide me to Fulfill all Our Dreams here on Earth... lol... ASAP!!!
Thanks
Amen!

LET's MAKE IT

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What?

I know I need to write. There is just too much happening again. I see things crumbling down for others... lol... I guess I usually see it for people close to me. They share and ask for help, so I try to shed some light and love... Course then they ignore me, and things crumble before their eyes.

I guess I really never had it so easy and so good in all my life. Shit I guess I would listen to advice from someone who was smiling more than me. I mean it's kinda common sense, even ants follow the others with the goodies. I saw some ants and felt how they were like the human brain. Once the brain, or an ant gets started in a direction.. finds something it likes, the whole ant mound will follow. Like one ant can bring the movement of the whole tribe, queen and all.

Sorta how we grow from ideas. One little tiny ant of a flash, vision, or inspiration and our whole being can change. everything we are comes from these tiny little ideas. Course then our Brains are designed to grow and evolve with insight. lol... Equan just IMed me. ;-)

IMed Suzi too... asked her about the Team Building thing I gave her, as I was using it in a class paper.... She liked it and asked if I had done it yet. lol... Course not, I just want it ALL DONE! So then she told me how I needed a Lover. or needed to decide what I want! It was so cool, she went into concepts like the magic wall again. lol.. Course that's where we met originally...


Sure i know I can do this any time I want, or DO THIS all the time.. lol.. or NEED TO!

OH YEA, in class last night Sharon said about the sand storms in Africa stopping the Hurricanes in the Florida... I just laughed remembering that energy in a Chant one night. So I searched for it ... hum ... found the research article and added it to my blogs ... course now I realizes it happened more than once... lol...
Saturday, August 13, 2005
September 03, 2005

What about your top ten?

I guess I only have one and that's making this work for YOU!!
I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

I know, besides that, just me me? And I know it's about the dream of a lover, because everything else is for YOU or it's just not!
So ... hum...

Passion - Chemistry
Intelligent - Smart
Enlightened - Spiritual
Natural - Healthy
Creative - Sharing

Oh wow, that's 10... lol... I went down the first list of 5 and looked at "natural," thinking "oh I want a tree"... makes no sense, lol... so then I added the second word starting at the bottom... Sorta to ad clarity to the first... So the last was passion!!! lol.. Or the first on my list... I'm all "p's" today. I added some to my resume this morning and posted it to the Journal again. John said NOPE again.. ;-) But I like it .. lol.. Professional Patents Philanthropy Professor Publications Personal ... lol... seems silly, but GOOD I LIKE SILLY!!!!

Though he would say "professor" has to go... lol.. since that's what he IS, and for a university it's a big deal.... not just someone who teaches something... which was what I wanted with all my "P's"... reminds me about Passion... and Pretty... and people.... lol... So I need to get serious about this . . . lol. . .

Hum Flowers come to mid again ;-)

Thank You Dear Jesus for you Love and Life, Amen!

7:47:47 PM

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

So life goes on.

I feel good about all this crazy stuff that I’m doing and all that is to come. I know there is a lot at hand and a lot more coming through all the time. It’s not really any big deal, and it’s really kinda fun and exciting for me. I sent Lyn, Emily and Christopher flowers for Thanks giving. I got an email from Lyn about the second it got there I’m sure. She was sweet and polite, but not much more. Then I got nothing from my kids, nor from my dad, as I sent them to his house.

I guess that really shouldn’t surprise me in the least.

What does this all make you feel?

I’m really kinda sad. I always have so much to do and always feel like I’m pushing the limits on everything, but then I’m often feeling like I’m getting no where fast. I guess that’s kinda a joke, since I see things grow and change around me all the time. I can see and feel things change… Like I found a listing for Oriental Medical Doctors and Naturopathic Physicians which was where Lyn and I started. We never got very far onto it all, but we started there.

Oh of course after I got the email from her I wanted to write her a note and ask her about it again. Kathy told me I should call her instead, so I left a message on her answering machine. I called again now, and hung up instead of leaving another message. I thought she might be in church today, or I'm always feeling like she will be. This is really a bummer for me now. I can’t always be hoping for things and never see them.

What about the last time you asked for a blonde angel and you ignored her at Publix?

I guess so. . . maybe I’m just thick!

What about on Thanksgiving and Sherry was talking about sex and you just ignored it?

I guess I could have done something then too. But I’m not so sure when or what to do all the time, you make it seem so easy and I just miss it over and over again. Whatever happened to the lady coming onto me … that always worked before!

What did you end up with? Remember Lyn told you it was time for a hug, she did make the move instead of you. Sending her flowers and calling on the phone are a far cry from stopping in to see her. You can do a lot more than you think, if you will just take the time to try.

I always have so much to do already and I’m just really beat all the time.

What a bunch of shit! You fly over most things, and nothing seems to slow you down, there is not anything you can not do. And these excuses are nothing but excuses. You can get a lot more going for you if you will just go out and do it for yourself.

I am … please fill me with your Love and Light Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ! Thank You, amen.

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

5 best!!!

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What are you feeling?

I'm beat... been running around all day. I got a lot done, and still have a lot to do. But I've made a lot of progress so I feel good about it all. I got up by 6am to get my truck to the shop by 7.45am... I was thinking it was some transmission problems ... nope, that's good...

What about yesterday?

Wow, I was up by 7am too. Dave called and I said I would come help with their turkey dinner and all. So I told him I would call before I left to see if they needed anything. Course they needed a blender, a steamer, the meat thermometer and some KC Barbecue sauce. I took the first two from my kitchen then stopped at 3 stores.... the first two were closed, and then the 3rd had neither so I went out there.

He's thinking of buying a condo around the corner for Keith's old condo. I told him the complex flooded and his unit seemed to have the same problem Keith had with the toilet upstairs leaking through the ceiling below..... Course I have all kinds of better ideas for investing in real-estate... lol...

It was really cool, helped them out and we had a big Turkey Day Lunch. They out me at the head of the table and I cut up the turkey... :-) Then he reminded me about leaving at 2pm. Just in time! So I raced off. Just as I passed Ginny's street I called Kathy to see if she picked up her mom yet .... NOPE perfect timing too, so I turned back and got her. Kathy was on the phone with her when I walked in. It was really so cool. She was happy as could be.

I took her over to Kathy's and we chatted all the way over and I stayed a bit before it was time to take Laura to Lakeland. I was too nervous about my truck to drive it, and her truck was in the shop too so we drove her 1966 Volvo to Lakeland. It was kinda slow but we chatted a lot.

Her mom was really cool. There was only one other family there as young as us.... Course I saw the mother and daughter with a big black-eye.... Acting exactly like I'd seen Emily and Colleen. When they sat down again, and I noticed a guy and son across the table. Could have been Paul and Chris EXACTLY, same size, same hair cut, same arrogant look. I told Laura what was going on with them all, as it was plain as day to me... I was really hoping she would confront them or help the girls... nope !!!

Later she told me how Pam said how "I had children I couldn't see" to her mom. What a sick thing to say. She's using all her power and time for selfish stupid things ... lol.... she'll likely get burnt up if she's not careful... such stupid people, you think they should know better ... it's like she's crying for attention and only attracting more crap to herself. I kinda feel sorry for her, that's really pathetic and so uncivilized it is all but barbaric. What's really sad though is the little puppies she has following her around and kissing her ass.... who cares what's truth or real.. "pam says" so that must be right...

Guess it's better the mindless follow around the foolish, lol... certainly something I don't have time to deal with... then the crap will bury her faster than ever... lol... oh well, not my problem!

Course that's the greed control attitude that my kids got lost into too. Better off on their own if they want to live like that, I certainly could never give it to them... lol....

So then we came home from Lakeland and visited Kathy and Ginny again. They had a super family reunion and were all happy about their day - - AND TIRED! Ginny and I had this super deep conversation. I told her all about the family in Lakeland, and then my own kids and mom who left to watch them... Which brought us to her own issues. Just like my mom, she just needs to decide if she wants to stay or go. Course I never said if she sticks with all the doctor drugs she go all the faster... But we'll see...

What else did you tell her....

I said I needed to share my chant with her and wanted to help her clear out her system. She seemed to like that idea and we really had a lot to talk about there.... Course Laura and Kathy were outside talking by then. Not sure how good that was or not... So I soon took Laura home and we walked across the street again to see Steve and Sherri. That was really cool too. It was like a reply ... I talked with Sherri much the same as I did with Ginny. They both want to share in this ritual with me now.... lol... So we'll see...

What do you need to do now?

I still need to get my truck and Kathy wanted me to drop by for left-overs. Not sure if I can or not.... lol... sure I can I guess.

What else do you feel?

Oh it was neat... Dave and Laura both started talking to me about investments.... Course I know too much about land and such and only mentioned a little about the conversation with the city. Then Ginny and Sherri were both on the same page too... While Steve was interested in what I want to build too and they both want help with Patents!!! lol...

What about yours?

I got another month to fix it. Not a big deal, really easy, but I thought I only had 30 days and it's 60 instead... So I'm going to try to use their online services. Looks like I can take the test for getting certified for doing patents too...

What about the other test?

Oh Laura also mentioned how one of her girls just took the PE test the third time and likely needs to go take a class before taking it again. WOW, I need to do that too, so I told her how I wanted to meet her friend. She told me a little about her... Some total babe who was her lover for a long time. That's funny too... I was saying how I only seem to met really bright awesome babes or Lesbians.... Told Ginny that too. Course I wasn't sure how I met her ... lol... she laughed too.

So I guess I can bike over to my truck now! Oh and I forgot, I wanted to ask again about Phd programs and I got an answer in my email instead... posted it for everyone of course, and linked to it here... ;-)

Thanks for FILLING US ALL with your Word, Spirit and Strength Dear Jesus!
I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

more work

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What are you doing?

I've been running searches for articles to complete a project with John. I need to update my article... uhg, lots to do there... I thought I would get some markups from some teacher, ANY Teacher ... lol... but no luck, I'm on my own with it.. yucko... lol... Course John told me to just do an ABI-Inform search, no big deal....

What do you really need to do?

I know I really need to get serious about a whole lot of stuff... I've had three different people ask me about the Chanting/Healing research. . . 3 totally new people I couldn't have imagined, 2 Phd's one at USF another out of state... Then the third is cool too, but I've not really checked him out as much yet.

Then the city called me about building my patent. He was an engineer too, Water Resources back ground, graduated from USF, wrote some of the notes teachers passed out to us when I went. Then I saw James and spoke about three other legal things.

Yucko... so I went shopping. lol, no I really had planned to visit him before I went to Sams. But then I had to visit CGM first since we talked so long. CGM was a trip, I'm doing another service blueprint. Ugh really detailed one about how his systems really run. He was thrilled to death too. It was funny when he took me to see who he wanted blueprinted.... "another interview?" ... "yea all the others were getting ground work for this one"... lol...

I guess that really brings a big smile to my face when I think of what he said. Oh then I got a call while I was there, Dave invited me to Thanksgiving lunch... my third invite... ;-) Think I might even go to 2 0r 3 too.... then I realized what I needed to send out to loved ones. . ...

That's really funny too, like I wanted Kathy to read over my notes before I sent anything... lol... I always miss the obvious, my luck and I'll spell my name wrong... lol... "oh who's this from, we don't know any Aric's..." lol...nice cookies thou... lol...

OK so then I went shopping. I need to make a salad for a party at work Monday so I got a bunch of goodies. lol... Wanted cheese and crackers for me here.... lol... oh I had the brick of Cheddar cheese already, just nothing else... lol... So then I got more video tapes, and figured $50 or less and I'll get a phone too... needed one of those for months. Wow, $48, so ok.... dog food... lol...

Where did this all start?

I guess I was really just complaining about having too much to do. I really started out whining... like poor me, bored to death doing tons. Course the research was really simple, crunched out a big spread sheet of things for John to see. The ABI database wasn't as accurate as the search through our PDF files. Guess the ABI only searched titles or abstracts while the PDF search goes through everything!!

Then I realized how much power I have there. Ugh! Like PDF's to EndNotes to Blogs so all this data is right there within reach. And I know what to look for, and what the problems are. lol... Like talking with the guy from the city, we can make so many things so simply. They already have an open deal with USF for funding research and such already.

Eeek, never thought of making it a salary for me! Paid to "work" again.... lol... it would really be paid to play again, just moving into a bigger sand box!!!! ;-) He spoke about all the other deals with USF, the pond with Trent and the parks. I asked about 40th and it sounded like that one was let out already. Course he liked connecting all the water... new about the water plant up the road and all the rest.

WOW!

What are you surprised about. Like the Service Blueprints, son you can easily fly through these simple things like games that are really "priceless" to people. It's like creating and expressing ideas that are simply to you, but beyond the conception of people. They are so programmed to think in ways that you just don't understand.

Do you see what we are saying. The motorcycle was FOR GOD!,,, the shift that you made, that you decided to make . . . for yourself... that most people can not even comprehend. The TV and culture they live in doesn't have words or concepts able to express this difference. It's like the fish trying to explain the water. That's all it knows, how can it conceive of the difference.

That's what you did by dropping out. You dropped out of the EGO, not out of life. You still chirp to squirrels and feel the trees. The crazy things that kids do, are still very simple and natural for you.... You decided not to age. not to hurt, nor worry. You've beaten the whole world that most people ONLY SEE.

They can not even conceive of your life. You never have a care. It's JOY and easy for you. What's really funny for us, is how you sometimes make things worse for yourself. Like feeling sorry for yourself only makes you lazy and tired. You know better than that. Like you know you can do anything. Staying up all night and making things happen is really easy for you.

I guess so, and I know I need to go back and read everything here again 9.11pm Consuming Fire (live) by Third Day (CMRadio.Net The Best Mix Winamp***

wow.... 9.25pm Don't Worry by Rebecca St James... I LOVE YOU dearest Lord Jesus Christ; thank you for sharing this moment with me NOW!!! Please Lead and Guide me to Share, Say and BE Your Love on Earth NOW for the Glory of Father Son and Holy Ghost!!!!

Yes Son, this is what you are and what you want and need. You are free to express and feel as you are. There is no fear and no concern or troubles. Challenges, yes of course, you can cruise there through a lot of pieces, no worries Be Happy!!!

I know I need to get back to work 9.33pm Neighborhood by Big Daddy Weave... ONE DAY I will fly... into my mansion in the sky....

What happened now... 12.18am

I finished my first blueprint and Laura called.... Funny she never got my message, like me with Dave's lol... So she told me all about her neighbor who is building this machine for someone. He's a welder and an artist and so they are building this machine for potting plants... lol... Course Sam just retired and has this big shop of tolls and such he needs to use and develop his own art again.

Then I can help them Patent and so she says she needs to invest in something sine she's not making enough from her houses. Course the plant machine might not be the deal, but maybe there are others....

What did James Say about that?

I told him about the projects too... lol... never mentioned the city. but I know he might like to get into the Bike Rack deal with the colleges.... and now I realize that Dr. Su would likely jump on that again in no time...

What do you think this all has to do with you?

I know I asked for everything to FINISH!!! .... lol... I want to get the JOB DONE!!! Sure you can teach me more and more forever, but I would rather have it working now and save what's left of earth before they fry it all up... sure we can get it all back again, but I would rather not lose anything more....

What you want to stop all the destruction?

You always said I could do anything. Beating death is no fun to do alone... lol... I'm tired of seeing dead cats in the road. Can we stop all the un-necessary death...

What does that mean, death is part of life....

I know and you know what I mean... we need to get some peace and get back focused on the truth again

Whatelse?

I Pray Dear Jesus to bring me to the Fulfillment of the Truth, in Peace and freedom of Love and Life through the success of all my tasks for the Glory of Father Son and Holy Ghosts, Amen!

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

"Always remember," God had smiled, "I have sent you nothing but angels."

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

New Moon in Scorpio
Monday, November 20, 2:19 pm PST, 5:19 pm EST


This New Moon in Scorpio is a magnificent bridge between past disappointment and future fulfillment. Its conjunction with expansive Jupiter late in the sign of elimination helps us let go of unhealthy habits. Scorpio's sharp eye for resources reveals opportunities in the midst of loss or conflict. Emotions may be extreme now, but the force you feel is the awakening giant of potential, one that can deepen relationships, nurture undeveloped talent and increase income.

sos. . . WOW, that was a typo back there... but I went and looked at one of these chart things finally and I realized it was essentially opposite of my chart. maybe not a typo... sos... lol... I mean, I know all my planets are on the opposite side of chart... course looking and looking now... sun, moon, Jupiter opposite, most else closer to 90....

What does this feel like?

I guess reading the bridge between past and future is always good. but it feels like there is a lot more going on here. Today I tried to catch James about the folder full of legal stuff and I realized he might be ready to get his patent now too . . . hum as I consider adding more to my folder... lol...

Oh but then I been feeling a lot more than this. I set up all these counters on the websites and noticed someone linked in searching for chuck by name. Sent it to him and it was cousin at Princeton... lol... So I've recognized how much more I really need to be conscious about. I always can feel so many things around me, watching, feeling, reaching out that I also know I need to be careful about what I do and say.

Astrologically, each sign is associated with a planet. Sagittarius is connected with Jupiter, the King of the Olympian Gods. Jupiter is bountiful, magnanimous and expansive. It’s no coincidence the United States celebrates Thanksgiving, a holiday built around giving thanks for bounty, on the first Jupiter's day (Thursday) in Sagittarius. We celebrate the vision of our founding fathers and the support they received from the Native Americans who helped them survive.

I guess I know two Sag's ... Kristel is in Tx and her mom went to visit yesterday. I wanted to call Joyce all week hoping to catch her before she goes... and now think to send them flowers since they'll be together. lol... course Joyce and I would always celebrate our birthday's together... lol... usually, her B-Day, Mothers's Day and my B-Day.... And sometimes the first two would land on the same date -> while they were always the same thing for me. Yesterday, for some reason I thought about Christopher Allen, and how Alan McCathy and Kris was where his name came from... lol... Christopher .... lol.... and his mom don't know that, while it's too late to tell Alan... and I think I have told Kristel and Kristin...

I was wondering what happened to him. Course then I thought I didn't spell his name right on my Son's birth certificate anyway... daa... lol... but they likely know each other already... Hum, Chris would talk to my mom so much after she left. Then I remember him asking me why he couldn't reach her as much any more and I explained how he was getting lost in the Paul-Emily-shit. He knew it was coming. They always knew, read CWG - The Little Soul and the Sun - together. They always knew too much... lol...

Oh so I need to send flowers to the two Sag's... lol... OH, and I got another application package from MUM. Guess it wasn't an application, but and invite to their visitors day... the 2nd one I got. Came with several slicks and a CD/DVD (?$$$) of the videos I was watching on their website easlier... Hum, course it's all about scholarships, and that's the only why I can get out of here.... lol... like CWG too, But my last class is on December 17th, so I'll miss thier next visitor day.

What did you feel now?

I felt how Alan and Chris might be working together still and I then as I posted this picture, I felt how it was really Chris who put her up to it... a hundred years ago maybe, but it was a big lesson for both of them and I'm sure it's all what it needs to be... Sure I gave it up to God but wonder about my responsible place all the time.

What about all the other legal stuff?

I got one done Friday, and just laughed and laughed about that one. I really want to do the Unity Patent, so I can see it all up online... but I also need to get to the others. I've called Rhea a few times telling her asst. how we met a few times in the Marshall Center. . . . but I'm sure everyone tells her that. lol... I guess I know that will be a challenge, and I've not found all the paperwork for it yet anyway... lol... no wonder i've not scheduled it yet.

Whatelse do you ned to do?

I told Kathy I needed to Chant for her mom, and she told me how I had done so much already. They spent the day together getting hair done and such, so evidently its a big deal to get her back home. . . . I guess it would have been for me too, except my mom already knew she had to go, which I understand now. I wonder if Chris talks to her much now? as I'm more sure Emily does now more than ever??? weird!

What does this make you feel now?

I thought about writing my dad and Thanks Giving note about how he lost the kids... sorta ask how much they've been hurt so far ... wondering wow... yucko, i better not do that too much!

No What about your charts and the energy you feel?

Oh I guess it's about ... Moon in Libra today... mercury slow to stationary retrograde position, turns back today... stops to trine Uranus at 9 degree Scorpio. while all other planets moves out of Scorpio into Sag's, while mercury stays in ... anchor us while the others SAG OUT!!! lol...

New Moon Report:

New Moon in Scorpio
Monday, November 20, 2:19 pm PST, 5:19 pm EST
Sun in Sagittarius
Wednesday, November 22, 3:02 am PST, 6:02 am EST
Jupiter in Sagittarius
Thursday, November 23, 8:45 pm PST, 11:45 pm EST
Full Moon in Gemini
Monday, December 4, 4:26 pm PST, 7:26 pm EST
Saturn Retrograde
Tuesday, December 5
Mars in Sagittarius
Tuesday, December 5, 8:58 pm PST, 11:58 pm EST
Mercury in Sagittarius
Thursday, December 7, 9:52 pm PST, Friday, December 8, 12:52 am EST
Venus in Capricorn
Sunday, December 10, 9:33 pm PST, Monday, December 11, 12:33 am
The New Moon in late Scorpio summarizes the past with a perspective rich in wisdom. Scenes of old failures and successes play across the screen of the mind in dramatic form. Tears and smiles accompany the memories that have filled our lives thus far. But we are at a turning point now where old tragedies needn't weigh so heavily. Understanding the purpose of suffering reduces its grip, freeing us to draw fully on all of our resources, individual and collective, to use the best within us and leave the rest behind.

I know it's all busting loose, just what i need right now...

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ. Please fill Us with Your Truth and Strength so we may Grow to Fulfill Glory of Father Son and Holy Ghosts.... Amen.

CGM again

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What's up???

I'm buzzing again.. Oh it's the coffee.... lol... 5pm and bouncing off the walls here trying to comprehend all that I need to do now or tonight... it's really kinda funny, but I wonder how I can keep up sometimes.

What do you feel though?

It's just going to erupt, i can feel it coming. Wow that's funny, blasted through another discussion group where 2 are leaving, 1 is skipping a semester, another might graduate . . . and I might want to do all the above. . . lol. . . so you can run it all yourself. . . so it became an issue about confidence in the trust and commitment to support the group!

Like give me a break, I discuss and share all the time with everyone who wants to.... confident and secure whoever needs to hear will be there. And knowing I will learn as I must. Hum, sorry if you are so concerned over who comes and goes.... while I know only the best survive...

lol... eeek.... lol...

Oh that was weird! Course I helped Kathy bring her mom back home today too. And I wanted to chant there, and should have, as she sat looking out the windows at the neighborhood ...lol... should should. Chuck's step-mom was there too. And now I realize I will ride my bike there from school. I mean I pass it. It's only a few blocks over... a few closer than the Methodist church even... lol...

Hum, I need to get john going to the church too, he only lives a few blocks from it, so he could ride his bike there... lol... my bike there... Guess it's really his bike now, hum, unless he's not using it. Then I know someone else who might like it. lol....

What else did you talk about in the group?

Oh, I said how I was reading the Power of Now and it was really cool to be present in the moment instead of concerned about who's there and who's coming and going. We're here now, to be now, there's nothing but now, so who cares about past or future... no need to worry or plan anything....

But then someone reminded me how last term I had this awesome tight schedule planned every moment... hum schedule, ? . . . did I get into a class during "group time?" lol... uh oh,

Integrated Bus Applications II - 2:00 pm - 4:50 pm W (Bsn 111)
Fund Venture Cap & Priv Equity - 1:00 pm - 3:50 pm S (Bsn 2201)
Negoti/Agrm Resolv Conflict - 9:00 am - 11:50 am M (Bsn 124)

Oh no problem!

What about planning though, isn't everything you are doing based on some plan or vision you feel and see all the time?

I guess it's more something that You share with me. I mean, someone thought this blog was talking to an alien? Another said it was cool to talk to my Higher Self.

What's your Higher Self?

oh, that's funny, I guess You are. . . but You are also an alien, and a tree, and a star, and everything in between. . .So God, What R U??? lol... my Love Lord Jesus Christ!

What do you feel when you say that?

It makes me feel all warm inside. I get a smile on my face... lol... feel more energy move through my hands and feet. Then I can feel a lot of other things... I start to see and feel all kinds of things... Like going home last night on my bike I realized I missed lunch again, and felt it was time to get a STEAK again. . . Past john's already and he couldn't buy a steak anyway. Oh and Olive Garden aint for steak, oh maybe Kathy wants to go for dinner. YEP, we had a wild ride around construction to find Frontier, then Publix for golden raisins on the way back.... lol...

She asked about Jaclyn, and I said how Emily, Michelle and Jaclyn were like sisters, three generations, all the same... same style, same class, same beauty, .... um, size, shape, colors, .... IQ.... lol... eeek, never thought about that last one till now. Wonder how all their numbers line up too... 16, 26, 36.... lol... even said how Michelle was getting her Phd here now.

So she said how I was manifesting it all.... so what do I want to do? What do I want to do about it? What do I really want? lol....

You are always making what you want and need here for you. Seeing people learn and respond to what you say and do. Like Mike tonight told you how all the senators are doing stuff.... "picking the low hanging fruit," and what did you tell him?

Oh, I said how he's leading and creating momentum. . . . lol. . . shit I wish I was so clear.... lol.... more like 'got them all going in the right direction, keep it moving'...

What about the reading group tomorrow...

I got to be there at 1pm. Then CGM at 5pm. . . oops
oppsss.. I sent him my service-blueprint. So now he can do it for all his processes. Which would really be the best thing for all of us.

What about GROUP?

Oh, I guess I've really been working hard at getting totally free with the TRUTH! . . . WOW, I mean, letting YOU GUIDE my life....
I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

So I know I need to talk about the energy again... There at the very end of the grouip today she talked about blogs - I knew I needed to get out there.... lol... So this is the 3rd time I've written about it....

Please fill me with your Strength, Love and Wisdom for the glory of Father Son and Holy Ghosts... amen;-)xxxooo

Facing Trials Head-on

Facing Trials Head-on


When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you until it seems that you cannot hold on for a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.
-Harriet Beecher Stowe

From "The Healing Power of Prayer," by Chester Tolson, Ph.D. and Harold G. Koenig, M.D.:

Life offers many challenges, the ultimate being death itself. We are sometimes called upon to face pain, suffering, loss, and grief that may seem impossible to handle. Prayer gives us hope and keeps us moving. Here is a formula you may use to help overcome. When confronted with a trial of any kind:

1. Face it.
2. Lift it.
3. Commit it.
4. Release it.

Let's look at each of these in more detail:

1. Face it. One thing that adds enormous pressure to an already tense situation is our inability to face realistically what may be happening to us. We may be:

Fearful of the outcome
Unwilling to believe the facts
Embarrassed by the conditions
Protective of ourselves or others

Denying or avoiding a problem that requires action on our part is never helpful. Research has shown that people who do this regularly end up not coping as well. Studies of both college students and sick older adults demonstrate that those who approach their problems by avoidance and denial experience less well-being overall, compared to those who face their problems.

2. Lift it. After facing up to the real facts of what is happening in your life or someone else's, or in the conditions around you, and having done everything you know or can do with the help of others, you must then lift these facts above yourself to God in prayer. At that point you make a full and complete disclosure of your needs. It is helpful to name them one by one. God does not need this recitation, but doing so strengthens us. We admit to ourselves that we cannot do it alone and we are asking God for help.

3. Commit it. Having faced it and lifted it to God, we commit it. We take it out of our hands and hand it over to God. The solution to the problem will be through us from God's divine will for our lives. This commitment should be without any reserves. It is handed over in faith that God will handle it.

4. Release it. Having faced it, lifted it, and committed it, we must release it. We may not be able to forget it, but we should release it and no longer worry about it.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word! 10:22 PM

What's up... ?

ME!! lol... Oh I've been thinking again

What new?

Yea yea... I know ... So I've been thinking about my PhD work. And It's really not about some degree, but more about me doing what I do!

What do you mean?

I know I can do anything ... nothing new of course. Funny I saw the picture of me and my Mom that I made after the 8th grade graduation... I want to take it to the bathroom mirror to see what's changed. I think my face is a little fuller... lol.... a bit fatter....

Oh so anyway, it's like wanting to change everything and knowing it needs to get done. All done now. Course as I say that I remember John asking me about the elections over lunch, wanting to know what I thought.

What elections? I said... course it's a big deal... lol...

It was really funny. I said how nothing ever changes. The politicians really have no control, they can't do anything without the burocrate. . . I hate that word! I can never spell it right, and the spell checkers never can find it either . . . lol. . . nothing word for no one. . . lol. . . so I told him how the bureaucrats control everything, (wow, new blogger beta spell-checker found it, good job gals ;-x) they've been there forever and will never leave, they are all programmed to do what they do. 90% are not ever even conscious of what they do most the time. 10.31pm you take my breathe away.. love is here to stay... oh could this be true--- "Don't forget me when I'm Gone" on the radio .977 The 80's Channel

What did you do...?

I got up and got a glass of white wine and 1/2-Juicy Juice... then sat back in this big leather office chair with this wireless keyboard in my lap... lol... I know "Dragon Naturally Speaking"--- someday... I always have so much i need to do all the time.... lol... so now the text is really big so I'm over 4 feet from the monitor reading it. That laptop on the bed it maybe 2 feet away. Sitting up in this chair is so much different than laying on the bed... lol...

What did you do about your Phd?

Oh so I got a few faculty names to ask about research work at MUM . . . . so i went looking one up and he's doing all this TM work with kids. So Em' and Chris' could really run circles round them with a few things, but so i realized it was loving my kids that made things so awesome for us.... not just the teaching and doing things, it was like every moment there was more we could do. . .. Funny that happens with any kids I'm with.

I just feel that light and connection and . . . . wow!

What did you flash to now?

I was in the discussion group with my "own problem" to talk about. How I connect to things so much that I'm always distracted by stuff... funny someone said that was why she's looking up all the time, so she doesn't pick up so much energy from around her. She also was who got mad when I was talking all this energy without her. lol. . . course i had started before she got there and we were really deep already.

What is it all about now?

I knew i could do some awesome research with kids. Like over night we are curing cancer and feeding thousands. It just happens. no politics, no BS. . . just people loving each other and taking care of things Right..

What does that feel like?

I guess it's like total bliss... Fascination on the Radio 10.58pm by Human League. . . Oh so I was thinking about how all this TM stuff and the Buddha is getting to nothingness and all my research is about BEINGness not nothing at all.. . . lol. . . just the opposite!

What do you feel....

It's all pumping through me . . . feels like rocket shoes and hands are vibrating so much . . . lol. . . my spelling is worse than ever... wonder if i can get the blogger to fix it all for me... lol... oh so we need to blog from naturally speaking... not email, phone calls to blogger.

Oh and I signed up for their beta program. Last month i did a Yahoo survey and made a pdf to send Google.... but never sent it .... so this morning i did a USF MBA survey and then found one for the blogger-beta too. And so I could feel how all this things would happen and change exactly as i asked. lol. . . and then john would know it too.

Course he's always known i was working on some really cool stuff. I noticed he had an MBSR book out too... wow....Eddie money "ticket to paradise" .977 The 8o's channel in my ears again

What do you want to see?

I saw how I needed to flip the blogger over so people could read it from the start of each month. Course it has to be upside down for me, but once I'm done and post people need to get it from the start... oh then I saw a "blogger novel" where people are writing fantasies on some site they had.

Oh so the TM and the Buddha got everything quiet so like the kids they can be connected to God. So that's where i am too so i can just fly off of it.
WOW... Kenny Loggins Footloose 11.12

What do you mean?

I guess when people are conscious and connected to the Bliss with You, i can just ....

...oh wow, like the journal i read.... I reflect so strong! whoever I'm around. that's why the ladies get too much, i just get lost...

Survivor "Eye of the Tiger" raising up... 11.15pm

I know so it's all about me again. I don't need t write the songs, anyone can look those up. And I know it's Just GOD SINGING TO ME.... and so I see God everywhere and connect in it with children so easily....

OH so then I think about my discussion group -- seeing Michelle about Nord's group tomorrow too... lol.... Oh so in discussion i just tell the truth. Asked yesterday about if the kids were still alive. I mean Abraham at least had the knife in his hands .... not me...

I thought i should write my dad asking if they've broken bones, died or had more children yet.... thinking their blood is in his hands... eeek. but I guess everyone has their own cross the carry

picky of truth by Deepeche Mode 11.20pm

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ. It's really so cool to be sharing this with You. I mean, I can still do anything, or everything! In just One Moment Everything changes! lol.... in EVERY MOMENT! So I know i need to get out more because it gets so powerful. Like biking in to school tomorrow morning. . . I can hear the squirrels already.

So I know I need to push every limit. Oh so the Prof at MUM got his 1st degree at UC Davis in CA. Oh, I remember now I wanted to go do consciousness research at UC Irvine, only other place i applied to. . . lol... but anyways i can start building everything here and spend a few months there .... lol.... going up north to get ALIVE AGAIN... lol.... dealing with all the zombies in Florida... lol...

Please Love Lord Jesus Fill me with Your Strength Love and Wisdom to Fulfill Your PEACE for the Glory of Father Son and Holy Ghost... 11.44

Dean's Day

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What's up?

Friday I took my boss john, out for Sushi. I called my office and spoke to Michelle before we went, and I wish I invited her to come too ... she would have enjoyed it. It was really cool of course. At one point he said how the Journal had reached some serious milestone. Something about the number of references, like the times it is sited increased beyond some limit that increased it's academic value and stature. Oh, something that happened since he hired me. Hum, he thought a moment and yes that's right, it did happen about the same time that I started working with him.

Course I laughed and said the same thing happened to NJ and FL. Then I told him about the Dance Clubs when I was getting my first degree. I would pick out the clubs that would be successful and which would not. Course I never told him the details about Mikey's or Sidney's and how they closed down soon after I decided not to go anymore. He just sorta laughed about it as a matter of fact....

Then last night I had a class with Mike and we were all talking about the Wal-Mart Effect. So at the break I told him how when I was writing up the summary for his class I got online and searched for Wal-Mart and found there are 26 of them within 30 minutes of my house. So when class started again he teased me about the Eric effect for creating Wal-Marts telling everyone what I had said.... Yes 6 Sam's Clubs, 2 Neighborhood Centers, 9 Stores and 9 Supercenters all in 20 miles of my house . . . it is kinda freaky I guess. I thought Walgreens was owned by the same company so I searched for them too... 83 within 20 miles of my house.... Eeek!

What do you feel?

I've been dancing and singing around the house again. Oh I got some MBA survey from the college this morning and filled it all out. It had a dozen sections, each one with a comment box at the end. Course my comment in one section would be the subject for the questions in the next section. So by the end I had repeated the same thing so many times it had developed and expanded into a very clear and concrete concept for improving their programs at USF. Course now that I open the page to copy the links into here I see on top it says:

"EMBA Program Ranked #10 in the Country for Hispanics" FIGURES!!!

What do YOU FEEL!

I feel really good and happy about everything. I copied all the survey comments into an email to John. I guess after I finished it I noticed the Word file I had written them all into to spell check and all, and realized John might enjoy reading them, or laugh when they DO everything I tell them too. . . Course that happens ALL the time too.

What do you mean?

I opened the Hispanic Article and it started off "Dean's List"... Course my survey comments were about increasing the Team Building efforts and making it more social. Like having a big party in the courtyard - Dean's Day with beer, wine and Jazz.... something a bit more social and sophisticated to increase faculty and student interaction... Course I want to see them increase research and know that interacting with all the professionals who come through their MBA program would do a lot for that. ... lol.. wow, the top 25, 3 NY, 2 IL, 2 CA, 2 NC, 2 AZ, 2 TX... and 5 FL's wow! Sounds like Florida is on the map... hum, none from NJ... lol.... bummer! lol... guess NY is about the same up there... lol... which is where my Mom and dad went.

What else do you FEEL?

I know i need to get on the phone and do a lot of things today. Like reading a hundred articles again and writing all sorts of other things too. What a pain in the butt... lol... but someone has to do it.

What else do you feel?

I know I need to get more social and get out more. I was feeling that again last night as I walked onto campus... the night classes have a lot more mature people coming from work, so I feel the ladies in heels coming into class. . . . none in my class of course, but I can feel them all around the place...

What about your office?

Oh when I raced up there to grab a drink during a class break, it was like Michelle spilled her perfume. . . the whole office smelled so yummy. . . lol... I wanted to call her and tease her right then. Guess she was getting me back for leaving her our of our lunch meeting . . . . Course when I got home RELIEVED to be done with so much a headache. . . I sat and watched movie clips online to chill out and relax a bit. Then when I got into bed and curled up with my pillow I felt the golden strands again... lol... nice to feel free ;-)

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

2:20:11 PM

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

I’m tired, tired of everything. I want this all done. I don’t want to struggle anymore; I don’t want to be alone anymore … and just want it all done! I agreed to come back to get this stuff done, not to get dragged into all sorts of personal BS, problems and insecurities.

What if you need to resolve your own problems and insecurities before anything can get done?

I don’t buy that, I can do anything that I want and have been able to run circles around all sorts of things that people get stuck on.

What about you being stuck now?

I know it sucks and I'm pissed about it, this school stuff is really getting to be a drag and I'm not getting a purpose or a plan out of it, but only more headaches. Everyday I want to get this done and over-with, and without any help or any success, I'm really getting tired of trying. It’s not healthy or satisfying nor do I really give a shit about it anymore. See the more it drags out with nothing getting finished the more I lose interest. I’m tired of fighting all the time, I'm tired of being alone, I miss my kids and this really aint fair.

What about all these incredible dreams and events you see before your eyes?

I get just enough to stay alive. And it’s not enough anymore. I don’t like fighting for everything and I don’t want to deal with all this shit anymore.

What do you want?

I need a lover! Not just some angel passing by. Someone real and strong that’s able to stay for a while. I need my kids back! I need all this shit done. Can you help me with my homework, I can’t seem to stay focused and work on anything very long. It’s really nerve-wrecking to never get things done the way they need to be. I always feel like it’s only halfway or never right. It really sucks and annoys the shit out of me.

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

"directory of possibilities"... Hum?

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!
I'm so tired of reading.... Read read read... articles books, more articles... I thought I would be all caught up by now, but feel further behind than ever. . . yucko. . . brain drain.

I almost went to a movie last night just to get out, and I wish I did. Now I wanna go out for a steak cause I'm reading all the Outback's financial statements.... boring!

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

Hum, so I went back and read "May"... started with the pages I gave Laura last week and read through to the end... Wow, nothing has changed. Nothing at all. I'm still doing to same things, dreaming the same things, working on the same things, it's really all the same. Funny I even started feeling Maryanne again and called her. lol. . . OF ALL things! Sure I would love to do that again and thought of calling Joyce. . . Oh just to say I Love you!

Somethings never change. . . lol. . . . So what's so funny about it all is that it was so strong and familiar. Like last night I wrote another dream and noticed how many pages there are in there now. In the reading now there were several dreams too. Full color, live action, stuff I could reach out and touch....

Lol... just like my dream last night. It was funny I didn't want to wake up to write it because I was too into it and wanted to see where we came out. Last night was weird we were climbing out of some factory, sneaking out through a fence under the stairs where I found they had stitched different kinds of fence together... lol... and easy break for me.

Course then I read about patents and designs. Wanting to do the genetic changes on some bacteria to make alcohol from people poop. Course that would likely ferment already... lol.... who knows. Course I wonder now if anyone had considered changing Bacteria to create something useful from crap back then.... I know they didn't play with genetics back then. . . lol. . .

So then I think that nothing has changed for me at all. I'm still the dreamer pushing every limit I can think of . . . . OH Except for the limits I need to be pushing. Like getting out social again. I've not pushed that at all and I need to. Needed then and still need now! And I need to do my homework and get focused on the truth and facts of what I need and want.

I mean, I make things happen, not wait for someone or something to come along. So now I remember when I left Maryanne - knowing that I had my Fat Ram and needed to get busy on whatever I was here for. Sure I knew I could do anything, but I needed to explore it more and understand it more. . . "directory of possibilities"... Hum? Course NO ONE has the picture of the cover, so I can't really be sure if I'm ordering the same book or not... lol...

I bet I still have the copy I found back then... lol... eye opener!!!! Sure I had to know what this God Stuff was all about, lol.... silly me, didn't realize I could do it all ALREADY!!!

That's sorta how I feel now, LIKE DAAA kid what's been taking you so long!!!!

I'm not sure I can answer that yet? Nor do I know if I want to.

Oh, everything happens when it's ready.... course nothing ever changes for me, I'll always be here doing what I do.... lol.... done it every generation since time began... lol... maybe I was the first bacteria making something new out of poop... lol... fits me!!!

Thank You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus for Your Grace Love and Wisdom. Please fill me with your Truth so I may grow to Fulfill Your Word bringing Glory to Father Son and Holy Ghost, Amen!!

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Updates

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What now?

I've been reading and writing and reading... Ugh, got more journal articles yesterday, saw some special issue of JOCM about spirit in Business so I downloaded them all. So then I printed 11/2 and 11/3 from this blog for my group today. I need to make them copies since I never say things as clearly as I write themmm...

What, are you sure of that?

I noticed too, reading over my blog about MUM, I mixed up the names. Maria invited me from their admissions office, while someone else blogged... lol, course I try not to put peoples names in here, and mix them up all the time... lol... wouldn't remember my own if it wasn't said to me all the time... I guess I got swept up in all the energy with the CWG and Mom associations at MUM... lol...

Whatelse did you find?

I read some more blogs there and about the Pundits in Fairfield, they are basically Vedic Monks visiting ... SO I want to go there more than anything now. lol... course I'm embarrassed to say why... lol... Which would become obvious reading all that I write anyway. I mean the blog spoke about how these Monks are affecting the city... lol.... And I would like to see how I affect them, see if one could walk by me without stopping to look.... lol...

What did you feel now?

I sorta flashed to getting off the plane and feeling so much energy that I couldn't move... like I had to stop and get grounded since there was so much positive energy moving that I was overwhelmed... Course then I felt like I was floating everywhere... lol... and everyone knew me already so it was kinda funny.

What's knew about that?

I know I just need to stay in that space and make it all that I know. I can do that sometimes, but it would be so nice to go somewhere that I didn't have to work at it so much. lol... course they are in Iowa, "build it and they will come".... I know I need to schedule to go out there now. I can't get away from it... I hate when I get caught up in all this, as I read it over it looks like so much ego...

Son, no one smashing a motorcycle at 110mph, without a helmet, and comes out without even a broken bone ... you did ... it's not ego, it IS, what is, simply IS!

Yea so what, remember I didn't want to come out of it at all!

Yes, but you did!

I know, so what, I'm not the first or the last. Countless people give their lives to God. Like the Monks gave their lives to You. Lots of people do that!

Yes, but you only would if you could find out how everyone could stay in God. How to live Right. Then you raised your children with Us and they never lost Their Connection until the corruption of the world caught them.

Oh so I did it, and figured it all out, but never changed anything ... big deal... even my own children got lost!

What you did was perfect. What you do with children comes into every new child that is born... You wont see all that you changed until you come back with us again..

Ok, that's too freaky for me again, I don't like that ego crap... I already have enough to deal with, thinking about every new child carrying that energy into the corruption is just freaky.

What's the surprise there Son, are you ready to do what you want?

I'm always doing what I want. I mean I'm sitting her on my bed with my laptop. I remote into my office and turn up the music so I can hear it in here, then remote into the school office to finish downloading articles and copy them over to here. . . lol... then just sit back and read/write whatever I need to be doing. . .

What about making things change?

I know I can only do what opens up to me, and I need to stay clear to feel everything You offer to me. I still get distracted a bit, but I'm cruising...

What about the group today?

I know I said about bringing my blog and getting the video tape, but I've not been able to get that all together yet. I know it would be intense and I can pull it off sooner or later. Like everything else here, the time comes when IT's TIME!

What are you avoiding now?

I'm not sure, I knew I needed to write more and I'm getting my hair cut and doing what I need to do. I still have some time... That's all I ever do. I can't believe I've written so much again. I read a little bit but still need to do a ton. Course I have no plans until the Video Sunday morning again, so I feel like I can get a lot done this weekend...

What about scheduling your trip?

It's all during school times. I might be able to go before finals week. Talk to Dr Solomon and see when we can do our presentations. If I need to do that in finals week, it would be crazy to visit Iowa the week before...

Why?

I might not want to come back!!! lol... or might not be able too. Reminds me of the Oregon trip with the CWG folks... one weekend trip became a MONTH. And I can't believe that was the very LAST Changers camp! Especially since I never chanted for everyone.... That's embarrassing too... I should have known better! Course going to Iowa in December seems crazy too, there will be snow everywhere and I will have to drive from the airport to their university! TOO MUCH!!! lol...

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

9:59:16 AM

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Trying to do my homework, but really distracted again. Nothing new I guess. I wanted to drop in on Lyn and say hi, but then I shaved and such this morning so I look like a little kid again. Course I then thought Lyn might like to see the older look since she commented on it in the pictures she saw. So I still want to see her or call her, but am nervous about it. Then I have the group meeting again today, and don’t really want to deal with it either.

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What do you feel now?

It's too much energy. I keep seeing so many things flash before my eyes. I chanted at 1am and did some Yoga which was just perfect. Then I was awake by 7am and wrote out a little dream. It was very clear and vivid as I awoke, and I didn't want to interrupt it to write it out. Course when I finally got the pad it was fading already. So I ran around a bit, got things ready and raced over to school on my bike.

The ride was just wonderful. It was a little chilly so I didn't feel like finding a pool with the heated gym pool closed already when I got here.

What have you been doing?

I just been catching up on stuff I know I need to do here. It's been kinda weird knowing that there is so much for me to do. lol... Three attorneys in my bag to respond to within 30 days. Then I got a note from James about asking me to visit him again and then I called Rhea about finally meeting with her. I knew she wouldn't remember me by name, but I know there is so much we can share ... lol.... or have shared that will just pump that up so powerful that I couldn't imagine.

Where are you going to start there?

I'm not sure. I know the Patents are cooking and that might be really strong for her. But she needs to deal with the landuse stuff and the scott stuff and God only Knows whatelse will bubble up there. I know I need to get really focused and clear about which tasks to do first.

What do you feel most pressing?

I guess it's the research and patent stuff. I could fly out of here in a flash if someone gave me the opportunity because I'm so tired of dealing with all the fiefdoms. I mean, I thought NJ was full of greed and corruption, FL had been made by it from scratch.

Wasn't all the rest done that way as well. Remember the tension is what inspires change. You need that power to ignite your determination. Do you think your reaction to you accident would have been so strong if you were doing anything simple and easy?

I know everything has it's place and time. Like finding 10 minutes to write now, and I look at the clock 10.03am... and the song on the radio sings the same story again... Men at Work - Overkill.... lol... I can't get to sleep, I think about the implications... lol...

What did you do last night?

I pumped up all the energy and set it down into the Earth! No fear, I chose to LOVE it and let it be.... lol... I guess that's why I'm filled with visions again. Like my whole life online and all digital.

What did you feel this morning?

When I rode through the park this morning I thought about connecting to all the life in the park and chirping to the squirrels again. And I FLASHED to a video where I was recording my whole experience so others could see how easy it is to be free and love the very moments in life that we share with each other

Whatelse did you feel?

I always feel the waters moving and connecting everything for making things work right. Riding my bike on a stream of flow connecting everything. It's just so easy here where there is SO MUCH life and growth, and the American Machine just is lost and grinding it all up with no conception of the truth or the power it could use working with Nature instead of against it.

What do you feel now?

I wish I found a pool... lol... might have been cold, but I would have all this sweat off of me... lol...

What about the music?

It's a golden oldie... lol... Babe I LOVE YOU!!!

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

11-8-2006 12.50

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What now?

It's chant time!!!
Thanks for filling my life with Your Spirit!!!

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

Thy Will Be done, Amen!

What's this?

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What's up?

I've been working non-stop it seems. . . Reading studying. . . going and going. I took a break to video-tape the message Sunday and Dave was there. That was a blessing and he offered more equipment to DJ for the church. She wanted me to explain it all to her. She's really loving the wireless mic too!!! ;-)

But then he left early ;-(

Laura came in before him ;-)
But she got caught in it with Pam and Karen, so I felt that energy from across the room; working to stay there . . lol . . Not my problem really though, lol. Then I worked more fixing Laura's kitchen, had some AWESOME veggie dinner. Aaah relaxed a bit, she always cooks so well.

But then got home reading and writing more.
Up at 7am again with spreadsheets to do. . . .

Wrote a weird dream about building city systems with the kids. It wasn't too weird, but more something I hadn't seen before. We were traveling together again setting things up. So I noticed that I have written a few dreams again on the pad next to my bed. . . another job I love ta do. . . lol. . . ;-)

What brought you here to write now?

I guess I was asked about visiting the TM university http://mum.edu/visitors and so I went and read a bit on their site and found some student blogs.

What did that make you feel?

I guess I saw Maria's Blog and she had written about reading the 1st CWG book...

Course my Mom got that at the Moffit Center! Then the scholarship to Black Mountain and the rest is history. . . and what I felt was how my mom's name is Ely Maria, and my daughter's name is Emily Maria. . . and I've not been with either since Black Mountain!!! lol... everything is connected again.

What about the college?

It was how I never asked about any other university to go to . . . and here I clicked on some ad and got some info about them. Then the next day I get all this mail, patents, attorneys, journals all this power and energy from all directions at once!!! And I knew I have to build it up more . . . I know I need to push every limit here. . . so I've never even considered leaving.

When I read the MUM and it suddenly feels like maybe I need to leave for a few years. . .

What do you hear now?8.44pm

IN the Name of Love, One Man in the Name of love... In the Name of Love, One Man in the Name of love... In the Name of Love, One Man in the Name of love... just remember it's only love... 908pm Number one and having fun. 977 the 80's channel...

Whatelse happened?

oh, after reading and working all day again . . . I decided it was time I write in my blog, you know, to take a break . . . I noticed a beer in the fridge I'd opened last week. . . and decided I was done working today... Sat down with my beer watching videos that's when I felt how I should get out of town... again... hum, like my dream last night. . . lol. . .

But I know this is about what you need to write.

Why is that?

I don't know, I'm not sure, maybe it's me who needs to chant? Or that I'm doing too much again? But I feel like You need to write something...

What now? 939pm

"I am only coming here seaking knowledge... I can see that destiny is open. . . I'll be wrapped around your finger" on the radio in the office. . . and so Maria wrote me back. It looked like a form letter ... too long and perfect to be spontaneous... kinda sad for me...

But now I feel how I connected to Family... make the energy happen all the time. . . So it's full of Love the Light that she sends... and I know she's here in this moment too

What did you FLASH into there?

I see the fields all full of children and food growing everywhere... nothing to do but tend to the gardens, children, wildlife.... no more greed and corruption, no more coporations, no more divisions.... One People, One Family.... One life all lived together...

Course then Bear walks in and he's coughing about something. SO I jump up and grab him.... Shake him, turn him, pulling on his neck skin like another wolf with my teeth... lol... two handed flip him down, pinned him . . . and then do reiki... Wow....

It was so coool, said the words and saw the symbols and I was there with thousands of Indians taming their bears... Flashed light years before me as I could feel countless lives, Indians, dogs, peace between the beasts. And we were one... All there again sharing the One Moment!

Then I thought of MUM again and flashed to Laura was here with the dogs running everything for all the teachers, gardens cooking feasts . . . While I was just visiting, camde to video tape the auras of Bear energy as I did Reiki ... Recording all the energy that moved to complete some research project at mum.... lol...

Now I hear the song on the radio "Oh Mickey.. Hey Mickey" .977 the 80's channel 9.50pm

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ. Please let You Love and Light Flow through Us All as we Grow and Share in the Love and Light of Spirit, for the Glory of Father, Son and Holy Ghosts, Amen.