mondayapril252005_102001am

Monday, April 25, 2005
10:20:01 AM
So I see Christopher today. I wonder how that will go. Lol... funny I’m in class now, and the discussion just shifted to how people learn ethics ... I could feel the energy shift as I wrote this about Christopher. Ethics is something they should either know by now or start all over. Yes I know my own children should know all about it and even know the worse of the worst. I guess in about 8 hours I will know how well I taught my children. And what they know or don’t know. It really feels good.

9:19:06 PM
Wow was that cool. I got there early, a full hour early. Christopher and colleen walked in while I was there sitting on the couch. I could feel him. So I just sent him love.

A few minutes later Dr. Prange told me to come in and see Christopher. “Hey Dude!”

Wow was it cool to talk to him again. And I just goofed all around. Started telling him stories laughing and sharing life. He even started laughing, and tried really hard to hide it. It was really kinda neat.... I’m so glad it is exactly as it always has been, we've always been so close. Funny how little he remembers... or how little good stuff he admits to remembering. He tried to corner me on some BS but it was just a joke.

So we talked about Bear and I said I took a picture of him before I left home. So I asked if he wanted to see the picture. Of course he did. Then he said how I had wood floors in my house. Wow, I just stopped writing for a second here to look and see what the pictures were that I had on my camera. He and Dr Prange looked through them together... while I rambled on about bear. It was really cool and fun for me. But wow, there’s a lot of cool pictures here. I put this disk together for Emily, pictures of them in the canoe, trips to NY, horses and all. Even pictures of Oregon, James and the Changers! Funny, Christopher mentioned the picture of them in the canoe when Dr. Prang asked for something good. Chris thought he was 4 or 5 then... lol.... barely 2 years old, and this picture is on the disk too, I wonder if he saw it!!!

I kept teasing him about getting in trouble for laughing and having fun WITH ME. Said he was breaking the rules and would get in trouble. Just like when I went to the bathroom, I said hi to colleen, and told him she would get in trouble for being nice. Of course she wouldn’t even look up at me... lol... poor trapped girl... Dr. Prange asked me a few times what I meant and I never responded. Chris wouldn’t say it either. So he tried to stay focused on all the negative crap he had rehearsed. I told him how what he was saying was all rehearsed. He knew it too. He had rehearsed a response to that too.

It was really fun. Dr. Prange asked me to tell him about what I was doing. So I talked about graduate school and all the new projects that came up with every class. Then said how I only worked 5 hours so far this year.... lol.... Chris said “$1200 for wood floors, you must be bankrupt”.... lol... wow, 13 years old and I wonder how much he knows about bankruptcy. I bet he hears that threat over dinner every night. He said something else about court stuff being very careful to say how I TOLD HIM TO READ THE SETTLEMENT! What a joke.

I wonder how much these kids have to do this con before someone really catches their shit. Everything has got to be bad and negative about me... lol... that’s the rules!

11:25:07 PM
So I posted this stuff to Your Blog... Yes it’s Yours, and I thought I would copy it to Dr. Prange...

What are you afraid of?

Well I must be something if I can’t find Dr. Prange’s email to send him anything.

Yes son you are very proud and clear about this. It’s not a big deal. It’s perfect exactly as it is. There it nothing here to worry about and nothing here to fear. You simply do as you can. Everything will come out exactly as it needs to and you will be as surprised as everyone else. And of course, you will be ready for it.

So does this mean I will have my kids back?

What is it that you really want?

Well I certainly want them back but not with all kinds of headaches and troubles with them.

What is it that you want then?

Well I want to have the love and freedom that I knew with them and I want them to be clear and strong again so we can share this freely. So I wonder if they have had enough of this wacko crazy stuff with . . . .

What you need to do is leave him out of it. If he is part of their lives, that is not your concern. If you are clear about what you want and need to share and know. Then focus on this and don’t worry about any of this other stuff. It’s not your problem. You have enough other things to deal with right now.

Yes Loving Lord Jesus. I know. Thank you!!! I’m so grateful that you were here with me in this joy and peace to help me through this night. I am so grateful for your grace and joy in this moment. Please be with my family and help them all to grow and learn to fulfill your truth and glory in God. Please fill us all with your strength love and wisdom for your glory Amen!