Sunday, May 29, 2005
2:28:00 PM
So I get to see Christopher next week. Or I guess it’s a week from Tuesday. I miss them. I miss goofing around with my kids. But I know they are going through some crazy times now, so I need to just let them deal with it, I know they are ready for it.
I still want to fall in love, maybe no more kids until I do that, lol... I’ve met maybe three or four ladies in the last few years that seem possible. But of course I’ve not dated any of them. That seems really weird. And then I think I shouldn’t worry about it since I kinda have my hands full already. I’ve been trying to backup my PC here in my office so I can reformat it. What a pain in the ass. I started by clearing Goliath and the portable HD that I have. Just getting rid of copies that I’d already burned off somewhere, and burning some more data DVD & CD’s. So now I’ve got enough space to clear my machine and redo it.
It has so many problems with it that I can’t wait to completely clear the thing. It’s the Sony machine I bought a year or two ago. Goliath was built by Daniel and then rebuilt by TC with the extra ghost drive, so it’s easy to restore. It’s strong and stable, so I likely won’t bother redoing it. It’s not a problem.
6:11:58 PM
Wow time sure flies here. The PC is still backing up crap onto Goliath and the portable. I guess I’ve even made extra copies of some things, copied it all onto both of them.
I’ve sorta been thinking about things a lot again. And it’s really getting to me. There are too many things going on here that I’m stuck in the middle of. I mean, Equan just came online to say he was going to Mexico. So I asked him to take a bunch of Mac’s. He just loved that idea, and was soon on his way to his church to ask about it. He had a church meeting tonight already, and it’s a church mission trip to Mexico. I told him he could take one of the Mac’s he set up there last year at his Church to use as a server and take a bunch of others too. Empty out some of the storage unit. Wow, was he excited!
I’ve not heard about the grant I asked for, to pay him to work with Scott. He was there again
today, likely ever since school ended Thursday. Course Scott should pay him anyway, if he’s working and doing a great job there. Scott wants to get a grant to pay him since Scott spends so much time teaching. I’ll try to help him out, he’s really a good teacher and would set this up for a whole lot of kids if we can get a grant to pay them.
What do you really need to write about?
Uh oh, are you going to ask me to write about all the USF stuff.
What do you think you are here for? Do you remember your trip to CA, you flew into San Jose so you could drive north on I-5, visited the town and hospital you were born in, stopped at Berkley to chat with a professor... connected to Mount Shasta and even got your first massage and skin clearing treatment at the spa there. All to get ready for Ashland and the erotic trip through the Mayan Land of Oz......
A weekend conference became a month sabbatical within your own Mayan synagogue that reminded you about everything that you came here for. You finally finished reading that one journal folder that you took with you when you returned home. You even started the next chapter, both writing and reading... but neither of those are done yet!
What did you come back to school for Son?
I know I came back to finish what I started. And I know I’ve started more things than I can ever understand. Everything that I am is all around me and ready for me to blow it all apart. But I’ve not really spilled the beans. Not everything has come out yet. I don’t feel it’s really ready for everyone to deal with.
What do you think everyone is waiting for? Do you think it’s every day that people chat about changing the world with those that do it all the time? You need to get serious about what you are doing!
Now what’s that supposed to mean?
What did you ask for? Do we need to start all over at the very beginning?
Um, I guess not. But how can I get it out there the way that it needs to be done?
What do you think?
Well I really don’t know because everything happens so fast.
That’s really a poor excuse, you are more in touch with this than anyone. You get whatever you want and make things happen every day.
Yes, so why doesn’t everything come together clearly?
Are you clear? Do you feel and find One Energy and stay there? What happens to you every day? Every time you meet someone you convince yourself that this one person can make all these things you want to happen. Like they alone can make it all for you. That will never happen, and you know it inside... but still every meeting starts the same way.
Should I fess up?
What do you think Son? How many times have you been told that the only way you can make this all happen is by just doing it yourself? It’s not a matter of proving anything to anyone. You are still trying to prove yourself. It’s not about proving anything. It’s about getting this all done the way that only you can do it.
But I know I can’t do it alone....
Pastor Jerry,
Can we take a few USF Professors out for lunch with us?
Thanks again for the cool sermon this morning, er;-)
Eric wrote:
Pastor Jerry
You reminded me about the American Passion!
You Know I realized that I'm really not too clear on my own Passion?
Here in my Environmental Law class we're reading A Civil Action (Jonathan Harr) and we have to do a class project together examining the Public Taking Private Lands laws here... Everywhere I look i see more of the same problems???
Can I take you out to lunch
again? Discuss my passion this time?
Thanks
eric679-5195
eric waever wrote:
From: eric waever stars2man@yahoo.com
To: USF-class@yahoogroups.com
Date: 29 May 2005 18:54:14 -0700
Subject: [stars2heaven] - Common chemical may cause defects in baby boys - Yahoo! News
Wow, I wonder if the Takings issue can be used for taking our own drinking water. Its obvious to me that the city hasn't a clue what we're drinking... lol... hum???? especially after seeing this on PBS http://www.pbs.org/strangedays/episodes/troubledwaters/
Common chemical may cause defects in baby boys - Yahoo! News
http://news.yahoo.com/s/usatoday/20050527/ts_usatoday/commonchemicalmaycausedefectsinbabyboys
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What are you saying that for? Of course you can get it all done yourself.
I’m scared.
What can we do about that, we try to direct you all the time. It’s always your own choice. We help you out all the time, but it’s always a choice for you. Of course it’s hard. If it were easy then everyone would have done it already. Of course it’s never easy. And it will be getting harder and harder all the time. We told you before the more you listen the easier it gets.... and the opposite does hold true as well.
So I know I can still do anything at all. I still feel like I’m looking out the window for lunch in high school. I can see the white pickup truck right in front of me... but it eats too much gas so I wanna trade it in.
What are you really wanting Son?
Well I said I wanted to fall in Love and play with the little people... oh and bring more little people into the world.
What?
Well I guess I really know this world isn’t really the best place to bring little people in. And I know there is a lot more stuff going on here than I could ever imagine. Oh so all my desires are for things that will only come to me after I get my job done.
What job is this?
I wanted to fix it for Your World so You could be here with us again the way You designed it.
What is holding this up then?
Ugh, that’s really weird. It’s held up by our choices isn’t it?
What else is there here?
I guess a better choice would be to just do it... I mean, why do I need people to help me lay it all out? I mean I’ve been working on this stuff all of my life. Every time I needed to get something done I would list it all out and just do it.
Why hasn’t it happened yet then?
Well am I afraid to succeed? Maybe I should go see sandy again?
What will she tell you that you don’t already know.
Well it’s like I know you know and we can sit and chat a bit. But when it comes to specific tasks.... hum, still no excuse huuu
What is the radio singing to you?
So many things you avoid, you don’t have to be paranoid.... take the first step.
It’s about time by Nate Sallie, CMRadio.net You are the only thing that’s holding you back.
What does this really mean to you... do you need to read all the words online too?
Um, I guess not really. And I know it’s flashing before my eyes all the time.
What are you waiting for?
I'm not really sure? I guess I wanna ask how I can get this done. I can spell out exactly what I’ve done and simply ask for some insight and direction.
Don’t look at me by Stacie Orrico, 12:51:55 AM Once day of the week by LaRue12:53:10 AM
So I need to shower and chant and go do all this stuff all night long.
What about getting into a rhythm again?
