making a Chant Video

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What's up?

Wow that’s interesting numbers to start tonight. I guess my whole day was totally crazy again. I went and visited David to talk about doing video stuff together. Sounds like we can really do a lot and have a lot to share as well. He understood me completely, so I even told him about fixing his age. And we talked about working together some more. I think I might be able to get the Sustainability Symposium Video for Sharon together finally. And we’ll be making a Chant Video now too....

Wow soo much to do, sooo little time… lol…

Thanks You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ, Please continue to Lead and guide me to Your Fulfillment for the Glory of Father, Son and Holy Ghost, amen!

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

7:34 PM

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What did you do last night?

Uh oh, so last night I chanted when I got home or about 11pm., so I was in bed ready to sleep early. And again Lyn was there with me. I’ve been good and try not to connect with her physically as I know she will likely feel it in her sleep, dream or whatever.

BUT.

Last night I finally did. Wow it was really intense, very close and intimate, we were like one. Embracing close and communing together. Like the breathe thing all over, but literally “all over” like everything connecting and singing together between us.

It was really awesome, and I slept like a baby after it all. Not even waking up until early morning, where I didn’t want to get up anyway.

Course Yesterday when I stopped to visit John on the way into school, I told him about meeting Lyn for dinner. He was there chatting when we first met, but could barely even get a word between us. I told him the story pretty simply, and when I got to breaking the mint on the desk and then giving her a kiss. He called me a “dirty dog” and then said from my joy and expression in telling the whole story it was very obvious that I fell in Love. Course I sorta knew that already too, but it was kinda neat to see that it was as obvious to him.

After an IBA team meeting with CGM Services I stopped to visit Pam on the way home last night. And I told her the same story too. She was really thrilled, saying that it was very obvious that Lyn was seriously interested in me. It was like we were glued together talking in the back of the church. And for a woman, any woman to make such an effort made it obvious to Pam that she was not only interested in me, but that she was a workaholic and never had seen any man who could understand her in the least or anything like that at all.

So yes, I’m totally blown away by her, and I am anxious to see or talk with her again. I called her three times tonight, no answer, no return call, nothing. I know she’s really busy, I could tell that on Monday. And I guess I know she’s really hot for me, maybe because of what everyone said or maybe because of the etheric connection with her again last night. I guess anyway that I look at it, I can wait and see what’s up with her.

She knows I’m not going anywhere, and she knows how to reach me or anything she wants. Of course today I versioned her just walking into my office and giving me a fat juicy kiss. Course I’m dreaming again, which is ok I guess. But I want to let her be who she is instead of getting all my ideas and desires out there so I'll keep this in my Journal private for now instead of blogging it all.

Why? If you want something why not let the truth be known?

I do know, and everyone knows I really do want to spend a lot more time with her and see what we can develop. Of course I know we are made for each other just from the joy and excitement we can share together in a second and it will only increase as we have more time together.

Please Loving Lord Jesus Christ Lead and Guide US to fulfill YOU DREAMS. Amen.

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

8:33:27 AM

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What's up?

Last night Trace invited me over for dinner with his father. All the way out there and back I went through Carrollwood, so I kept feeling and wondering about Lyn. I wanted to call and knock on her door, but I know she’s focused and busy; and if I keep distracting her I’ll become a nuisance instead of a friend and lover like I want to be.

When I got home I had an email from her, short and sweet, very professional and polite. I prayed and sent her light as I fell asleep savoring the power she left inside of me . . .

It’s funny now as I think about this, after I Chanted Sunday night I realized I had some serious power from her inside of me. Then I coughed? It felt like a flu or cold catching in my throat? That was weird. But I knew I absorbed a lot from her already. I could feel her vibrations throughout my lungs and melding with me deep inside. So I jumped up again and savored the Red Tantra, wanting to keep all I could that she had given to me. I could feel it break up in my throat and I swallowed again to absorb what was left. Then I jumped up again and savored more Red Tantra. Never felt that before.

It’s kinda weird how these things come through to me. Like two people have never connected and shared as much as we did in one day here on Earth. I guess there was never the technology to share so much so fast. I mean, I could never say and explain in a week, month or year as much as she read Sunday night. She really had climbed right into my head and got to know me from the inside out. She knows my complete history now. Even soaking up my essence through the Tantra as well. Course the Red Tantra aspects were never discussed! But those came to me late at night.

Hum, I read her note before bed last night, and had these very powerful dreams. Several that came and went as I moved a bit this morning. I grabbed my pad, but since I moved they mixed up a bit and I never wrote anything.

Hello Eric,

Thank you for spending time with me on Sunday and thank you for dinner! Sushi was Awesome!

I do have a lot on my plate at work and I am continuing to research the Naturopathic Schools, which is keeping me busy and focused.

I am glad to hear your meeting with the Yoga Teacher went well. I know that you will make a difference!

Thanks for the offer to assist me with anything on the PC. I may take you up on that some day.

Blessings!
Namaste,

Lyn

Of course the White Tantra aspects we shared were as old as time itself. So I feel like we are already one with each other, or building something very strong. Like she will find me as soon as she can, knowing I could never leave her. It’s really almost funny as I feel it. When I called her the next Monday night I told her I had to see her again before she left. . . I wanted to get a picture of her or of us together. Not that I “need” proof that it was real, but that seeing the picture would fill me with the feelings and power every time. But then I noticed the pictures I took of DJ.

Every Sunday morning I get there early and set up my video camera. John came in with me too, so we set it up differently. Then I snapped a few pictures of Rev DJ to make sure she likes how it’s setup. Well this Sunday Lyn was there talking with DJ at the same time. So all the pictures I have of DJ have Lyn in there too. Course I zoomed into her and cut one out that’s now the background on my laptop!

I’m so silly. Like I try not to let my heart desire her so much. Or press her so much. But it’s just what I feel. Clear and strong. Sure and pure. It’s wonderful what we did and shared. I can tell she knows all about me. Like she’s dreamed and created me already in her own fantasies. It is something endless and timeless that we will always savor and never escape. Funny when I think about my last dreams of a lover, I realized that I did the same thing she did. Everything I ever needed or wanted was there before my eyes exploring and understanding me!

I can really Love You Lyn! You are some really Awesome Brilliant BABE!!! And I can’t wait to cut loose and just play in total bliss! Hope you wake up and catch me before someone else does!

THANK YOU Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ, Please Lead and Guide US to grow and share in Your Love and Light fulfilling Heaven On Earth for the Glory of Father, Son and Holy Ghost! Amen.

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

8:48:13 AM

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What about Dinner Sunday what happened?

After I left the house, she called to say she was running a little late. I told her I grabbed my laptop so I could get back to work at Panera Bread anyway. When I got to Panera Bread their network was down. So I started reading John’s article again instead. Right before Lyn arrived the place got packed with people. She obviously carries this same energy I carry, while I've learned to avoid thinking about places I'm going until after I get there so I can beat the crowd. I was by the door so she couldn't miss me and she came in and sat down chattering again in no time, asking all sorts of questions.

Of course I wanted to show her things online. She wanted to know more about me, and my life is all online. I asked about us taking my truck to Sushi and she liked that idea. We were alone in the restaurant and ordered a ton. Sat together in a booth (next to each other) and clicked through pages online. She kept asking questions that directed me to which links to open for her next. . .

It was magical, so much we said and shared was repeated in more detail online, and each question she had was answered there in print. She just dove in and read through a ton of stuff really soaking it all up, relating it to her experiences and understanding. She would laugh every few minutes seeing something she or I had said before or that she knew and totally related to. She asked about what it felt like with the alien, and I said it was sorta like the energy between us being so close and knowing we have so much together.

She asked me about past-life regressions and I told her I knew we had been together before. She had done some work with it while I said I simply experienced it with people spontaneously. She told me she only meets people she needs to meet as well. Sitting so long, she stopped to stretch her back and so I started to rub it for her. Wow, so clear and strong, her back and hips were all perfect, all smooth and clear I could feel right through to the center of her bones. I didn’t want to take my hands off of her . . . but I did, she said I really helped and kept reading.

She’s a Sagittarius, and last month, week or so had a reading with DJ who said she would meet a Taurus . . . and I was it! I couldn’t believe it, each new question she had I popped open another webpage. She read all my history I wrote for the Starchild list, and parts of the Unity Patent and Dreams. We stayed there until it closed and then we stopped in my office at USF where I opened up more websites as she asked more questions. It was really awesome, since she would click all the links, up, back, next to piece it all together...

She finally asked about my kids and so I showed her the American Youth story, while she already had read the history stories at the bottom. Then I found the Indigo Survey email and let her read that to. She’s very skilled, talented and smart. Course she’s got a perfect smile, clear full green eyes, yummy full lips and long straight blonde hair . . . so pretty and perfect as I just watched her explore!

Finally, I pulled out a mint from my desk in front of her as she read and broke it up on the desk in front of her to share. After a while I told her I needed to give her something. She turned to look at me, more curious than anything and I kissed her. Just a bit, and then also on her cheek. She said it was nice, but was clearly busy reading instead.

All night she would ask for details and stopped to laugh and chat more. She picked out 4 sushi rolls, soup and salads so we were eating and eating all night too. I was surprised we finished so much of it. We walked out of Sushi holding hands and then again into USF. I had my presentation books there at USF too so she got more details and confirmations from them. I didn’t show her the kid pictures until she asked. It was approaching midnight already and she said she had to work in the morning, so we went back to Panera Bread where her car was.

Chatting, chatting and chatting some more. Then she said she had to give me a hug and go. So we both got out of my truck by her car. She kicked off her heels and we were eye to eye again. As we held each other she said we had to do a Zen Hug. She said we hold tight though three breaths, breathing in deeply together and out again simultaneously in the hug. So then I told her we had to do a Tantra Hug now too. Course she said she had just bought her first Tantra book last week, reading and studying more stuff all the time.

The Tantra Hug is just like the Zen Hug, except we breathe opposite. I breathe in your breathe as you breathe out, and back and forth. So we were mouth to mouth again, not deeply in a kiss though we came close a few times. I was nibbling her lips and neck and everything of course any chance I could. We did a few breathes together and then a few more…. And some more. Breaking to see her big perfect smile through the golden strands and move her hair back, yum…

It was total bliss, and we were both dizzy from the breathe melting into each other. We stood there for an eternity, just savoring the space we shared holding tight. Course I got hot and horny and was careful not to press anything up against her. Nothing could make this any better, it was all so perfect and blissful. But we knew we had to go, so we soon said good night and let go.

As she was getting into her car. I told her to look at the sites she was working on. She buys land with a development firm. I said to simply look for the names of water bodies and rivers so I could see if I knew anything about them. Don’t try to get me work, as I don’t want any, but if I know where you are maybe I can help. Like Stonelake Ranch dropped the SHW 3.5 feet, and I’m sure you get some commission or something so that could help.

I could see her face and voice shift into business as she thought of it and said it certainly would make a big difference. Yes, so just look for names, and maybe if I can help, then you can take me on your next trip. . . . she laughed…

She has always made a really good income and saves it to travel the world. It sounds like she’s been everywhere already, now she seems to go to conferences and classes a lot. She still travels all the time. She’s going somewhere Friday for the weekend. We talked about getting together Monday but it sounded like she had a lot to do.

When I called her last night, she was very busy and has a lot to do before her trip. Sounds like a business trip and she needs to get some presentation together. Course I called her at 5pm and she called me back in 30 minutes or so again. No time tonight, busy busy. I asked if we could see each other before she left, even for lunch or coffee. She said she couldn’t promise, and it sounded like it wouldn’t happen.

I just read over the last email I sent her, and sent her a new one now. Last night she said she hadn’t seen it, and now I think she still hasn’t.

What do you really feel inside?

I am really filled with joy and bliss. I can still feel her energy and aura. She’s so clear and strong it’s really just wonderful to hold onto this energy. I picked up a lot from her Breathe in the Tantra. She asked me where I learned this, and I said I just knew, or she had just taught me. Course I worry about being too possessive and wanting her more and more all the time. I know I need to hold off and give her space and time. Funny, I talked to Pam a bit last night and she told me how much Lyn was talking Sunday; that it was very clear she never found a man who understood her. And the power of the meeting made it seem like a sure thing to her.

That kinda helps me to relax a bit too. I’m not sure what I’m doing sometimes. I mean I feel like there is something when there is not, or visa-versa. I said thanks to Pam a dozen times because I never would have even said hello to Lyn. She was just too tall and pretty. Full ravishing women in Florida are hit-on so much they only play games with the BS from guys. I mean, I’m no player, so why bother. Lyn is no player either, she’s been married, but has been very clean and pure not playing at all.

I was almost embarrassed, since she’s never smoked or done anything more than a beer and wine. She’s the youngest of four girls and told me about a sister who looks exactly like her, but black hair and blue eyes and exploited the beauty and still drinks and smokes now, not doing too well at all . . . . makes me wonder about all her sisters whether they are successful or clear like her or lost in the world . . . wonder who they listened to while growing up?

After talking to Lyn last night I sent her light and prayed for her. Chanted and curled up with a pillow feeling her with me and slept like a baby. It was like she was there, and I tried not to power it up at all, but only savor it. Like this Tantra stuff filled me with her very essence and it was simply delightful. Course I only want more, but it’s very comforting to hold onto.

Thank You dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ for all that you share with me. Please guide us to grow and Love in your light and truth! Amen!!!

Thank YOU!

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What now?

I got home late last night... and I knew I had to chant. WOW. It was so intense. The drumming got so loud and I would follow the music for a moment and get so strong I couldn't hear the CD. So I just sent all the light into what I was feeling... who I was and what I wanted! So then I was up all night... couldn't sleep at all. . . as the vibrations reverberated through me... silly kid, too much energy inside me already and all i did was pump it up!

Why's that?

It was really funny, like I just came to Tampa and my dreams were all very fresh and clear and solid in my hands. Then I saw how it all fit together like Gospel! Like all the evil and corruption just fell like scales off our skin. All this weight falling from all the people of Florida and we simply stopped living the lies and became community again. . . nothing more.

What about the women?

It was like the lioness simply made it all clear again. No one could question because it was as obvious and simple as daylight. No more worries, no more fears, the insecurities dropping into dirt to grow our crops. The pollution vanished, the life became strong and full again in meaning and purpose.

What do you mean?

It was like the Garden of Eden, where everything was clear clean and crisp, full of life and beauty.

What happened today?

I met a Yoga Teacher who was working with the NIH grant they want me to work with in the Med School. She looks like my mom, also from Puerto Rico. It was so easy to share with her, she knew my mom was still with me, knew I have this powerful guidance. It was like a page out of a dream. Like we had done this before and already knew exactly what we would do. She wants to see everything and get into classes at the church right now. She knows we can't do it all in the grant yet, but she wants it all for herself now so it's clear for her.

Wow, that's just perfect since once I start to teach her things she will know how to get it into the NIH work we are doing and how to make it all work perfect for the patients.

What now?

I felt so much clarity and power in this. Like last night opened a new world and today I'm free building the dream. God's Dream! I felt like I was sleep walking. When I got home I crashed again. Course all the engineering work I had to do stopped... the county called this morning and asked me to meet the Chief . . . lol . . . So now all the tasks will change anyway. Nothing to do anyway! I felt those worries fall from me too. All was gone. . . .

Oh wow I've been reading my old Journals. . . Like everything falls away and I'm totally free to Fly in God's Love. So clear and beautiful Free to Live the Life of God's Love, nothing else!

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ. Fill my friends and Family, all those with me now and always, guide them, guard them, fill them with Your Power and Wisdom, Show us all Your Way, lend us Your Word, Fulfill us all as we Grow to Achieve the Glory for Father, Son and Holy Ghost! Amen!

Thank YOU!

6:29:03 PM

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What’s up?

I can really fall in Love again, and it’ll be very easy!

Please dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ lead and guide me to fulfill EVERYTHING! Amen.

Happy New Years!

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What did you dream about now?

It was a dream about women taking over. I told her who to see and what to say and then went along to watch her do it. Sorta just taking notes. It was a complete fantasy. The Chairwoman saw Madam President, who then meet the La Mayora who agreed completely and become governess. . . . Wow it was my Goddess who did it!

What did she do?

I guess all she did was understand EVERYTHING and explain it all clearly. It was simply perfect and I could just DO IT!

What did you do?

I cured everything. No more BS anywhere, like suddenly people could see the truth and everyone went home to family and only did what the kids needed, nothing more

What about the money?

It was gone, the kids accounted for everything on computers in school, so the family with the most healthy happy kids became the strongest vote in the community to share resources. Greed and corruption simply vanished, cause no man can lie to his son!

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ. Thank You for filling me with Your SPIRIT!!! Please BE WITH US ALL, and let us sleep peacefully and healing for a wonderful new year! Amen.

3:45:18 PM

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What’s up?

I went to church this morning and met a very pretty tall blonde lady. She was talking to DJ about the SpiritRap music… Which I had just compiled together into one CD for DJ to use in her sermon. Lyn had heard the music and visited with the author who she’s trying to schedule to visit here to do a concert for us. Course Pam sorta looked at me, “go for it, before I do” . . . Oh da . . . What tall attractive in Florida means one thing: "player, headache, abused & pursued by everyone, too much baggage for me". . . So anyway I started talking to Lyn more and more. Turns out she works for a developer buying land . . . Oh my gosh . . .

Then she’s already got a masters in business and wants to get a Phd in Natural-pathic medicine and even has checked out the best schools in the country and visited them already. WOW. Like really wow!

So I told her just a little about what I’ve been doing at USF and all the craziness I’ve been dealing with. And she was enthralled and wants to know more and more. Seems like she’s never been trained in any of this stuff and wants to get into as much as possible. Course I’m in over my head and have been gasping for air.

She’s like a breath of fresh air. She asked me to join her and her friends for lunch and I told her I wanted to take her out for dinner so we could chat more. Course then I raced home to get some work done for Kim at the county and I can’t focus. I’m floating thinking of this lady. Hum she came down here after her masters and has been here for about 5 years. That sounds like she’s about 30 then. She’s very clear and focused, which is such a big turn-on. Course she looks like Emily too. Like a bigger version of Michelle. Oh too weird.

What do you want?

I want a lover who I can respect and grow with. Someone intelligent and talented who can handle all I’m doing and help me make sense of it all. I guess I need someone to Love more than anything. Not just another head-ache or someone to baby-sit. I really want to be challenged and pushed more too. It was neat how vibrant and charged she was, very excited to just be talking to me. It was very cool. Kinda un-nerving a bit even.

What do you really want?

I know I want to have children and really be in love again. That’s what I want more than anything.

What about all this that you do?

I guess having help and insight into everything would be really cool too. I know I can’t do everything myself, and I know having someone who is conscious and intelligent enough to follow me can be very exhilarating.

Please Loving Lord Jesus Christ Fill me with Your Grace Love and Wisdom so I may grow and learn to follow in your love and light, for the Glory of Father, Son and Holy Ghosts amen.

5:46:27 PM

Now I’m more nervous. I called her at 5pm sharp figuring that was dinner time. She just called me back from her car out shopping around and we chatted a bit. Course we can’t decide on what to eat or what we want to do, but agreed to meet over at the Panera Bread by USF. She lives in Carrollwood and never has been to this side of town too much. It seemed like a nice place to meet and we can go somewhere else from there if we want to.

What is bothering you then?

I guess I thought to bring my laptop. After I dropped off John from church I stopped by USF to drop off some juice and stuff I bought for there. Then I grabbed a few of my books and notes to share with Lyn. Now I’m thinking I’ve got too much to share. But I guess at church she was all excited and chatted a lot telling me everything she’s been doing. On the phone we both said how I needed to share a lot more with her.

What do you feel about that?

I’m nervous and insecure again. I want to be in love and set with someone, but then I know I need to get out and speak to people more. Even the journal stuff I found last night had a section about how I needed to get out and talk more. It’s really almost funny I guess. 6.33pm as I print out the Mayan Chant brochure. I had to update it for her too. But now printed and ready to go.

What you need to do is simply trust and relax. You are who you are, and that will always attract people. You need to simply trust that and stay with it.

I Love you Lord Jesus Thank You and Please fill me with your Word and Light tonight so Your Will can be done! Amem

Old Journals

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!
Wow this is just too intense for me now... I'm reading the journal after Keith took it. It feels like when we split and stopped working together... Really powerful words, feelings and insights... Cool awesome stuff... lol... that I can magically cut and paste into this blog this very second!

What else did you write today?

Oh I was saying how the Indigo Survey lady wanted more details and specifics between Emily and Christopher. . . and ME. I guess I'm as indigo as they get. . . oh yea bringing the "stars to man" is what I am all about. And here I gave her the motorcycle link, but not the alien links... daaa!!! But what was really funny about it was that she asked about written records, and I thought about my journal where the first picture is dated before time began. . . lol. . .

What's so funny about that?

I guess all these Conversations with You are just out of hand!

What's wrong with that? It is your hands here.

I Love you Lord Jesus! How I love your word, My God, My King... Your Love cuts through these pages to my heart.... and sacrifice and paradise are here in the Plans we made.. . . cause I ever Hold the picture in my view... . It makes me wonder who am I. . .

What was that?

11/24/86 9.35pm "I write to Prove Your Existence" Passively Rule for Jesus. . . oh it's just too funny to read this stuff . . . wow. . . "all my problems come from me not opening up and letting all the love flow out" . . . Wow, " Just imagine for one Second there is a GOD. It's not about greed and selfishness, but it is Love and Truth and God Believes in us SO much that He wants us to fix this mess we Made ourselves. And He knows we can do it, Because He wants to Help us. All we need.. lol.... is... is....

Hey Equan!!!

Is FAITH IN OUR CONVICTIONS!!!
EEEK 9.23pm now... I need to sleep!
I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

Some things never change

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

I haven't been able to sleep yet. I finished DJ's Meditation CD, read and wrote a lot else too. But still I know there is something I need to do. What do I need to do?

What are you asking us for, you've got lists, upon lists all over your house and still things are lost

I know, what can I do?

What do you think is most important now?

I'm really beat, and haven't been able to sleep or anything. Just got some wine hoping.

What about chanting, you know you've not done that, blamed the tired crap for that too. Everytime you do chant you move more energy than you have ever seen before. Why do you question about it. there is always a time and place for everything. This is why you've been given so much time. It's all here, it's not going anywhere. . . .each day less is here and it's harder to fix, but you are stronger and clearer. There is still nothing out of reach for you. Stop worrying about it all. Sure everything you see is dooms-day, but you have all the answers. . .

I Love you Lord Jesus Christ . . . It's time to read another Journal volume. I have this stack of books next to my bed, and there at the bottom is the journals I pulled out to read in Oregon. . . So I'm getting it now! Thank You! 5.51pm

What are you reading?

I started at 11/19/86 11.50pm "like a bridge over troubled waters I will lead you on, like a bridge over troubled waters" 11.50pm EW Lifes out classic rock, simon & garfunkle. Yes Keith has my bag again...

What did you stop at?

I read the song at 3.03 "ooo tell me who you are, who are you, who are you, who who , who are you" . . . and at the very end I wrote "Just like me and my life it fits Right WHERE it Belongs. And I've gotten ready all my life for what happened today . . . and today will get me Ready for tomarrow"

What does that make you feel?

It makes me feel Your Love and Truth so much.

What else do you need?

I Love You Jesus! This is really so cool... Reading about a Fortran program and cap before there was any computers and now I can just snap a picture of it and post it to millions of people in a few minutes.

What' s the point?

I guess I'm really perplexed. . . This morning I got an email about some survey I filled out about Indigo Children. Course I know all there is to know about Indigos. . . . Funny I gave her a link to the story about my motorcycle accident and now I think about her asking about the different children coming through and how I'm like the original star man. . . Oh that is really freaky ... because I can stop a second and post that too... oh this is just too freaky... Thank YOU LOVING LORD JESUS CHRIST, I DO REJOICE in your Name and Spirit... thanks for filling my Life with Your Grace and truth... Wow, what a trip this is...

What did you do in your office before you started to Journal in here on your bed?

I went in and tried watching some Movie Trailors to relax a bit. I saw Simon's new picture with Neale => "Conversations with God" MOVIE. . . . I just cracked up . . . . course I also got to Call them 7.01pm (352-442-2244 .... will@cwg.org) Oh Will at CWG answered . . . since they have another retreat in Black Mountain. Of course I only go to events when invited, getting paid or a scholarship. . . that's so funny that he answered the phone again. . . I was almost cracking up with him on the phone. Ed is running his own video business now. Pete couldn't get enough people together for a Changers camp again. . . ;-(

Course I never could say what I could do for them. . . lol. . . but I offered!
I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ. Thank You for your Grace, Love and Wisdom, Please help us to Fulfill Your Glory! Amen!

Research Lunch, again

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What do you feel?

I guess all kinds of cool things are happening as usual. John took Barbara and I to lunch again yesterday and I really just told him what I think. It was kinda funny because we hadn't had any serious talks for a while and were both almost holding back with Barbara there. But instead we got more specific and detailed about things, so she could follow and witness it all. Almost debating, saying how she could "witness it. " I was asking him about this terms independent study work and how I wanted to get it linked to the Med School work. I mean they want to see if I can get into an NIH grant and help expand and develop their research. Course then I realized how the Dean there wants to upgrade the teaching to be more "team based" learning. Of course that's what the Business College has been doing for years so I asked John if we could develop some "action research" helping the Med School coordinate teams for new research grants. I said how Nord's reading group discussed the topics already. Course he said no one in the group had any "team developing" skills . . . and this medical research had nothing to do with "Action Research."

It was really funny, because as we were leaving the school for lunch chatting in the car . . . I joked about getting a gazillion dollars for the John Research Center next to the Patel Center (not sure what we were talking about then). So over lunch I asked him what the John Center would do. He said he wanted to explore more about the environmental developments with business and organizations. This sounds exactly like what I was talking about with the Med School since they need to integrate their sciences. I mean the evolving science is all about unity not the fractured mess we have now. And as far as environmental impacts and a complete medical industry set on mass destruction of the environment and the total pollution of people and the mechanization of life . . . . Seems like we have the perfect place to explore new models and methods for bringing life back into the sciences. . . or improving the environmental aspects of a complete industry.

He made it clear he was not interested in "applied work" and only the conceptual research and academia, saying what I was talking about was being a consultant to the Med School. Yes I guess that's true, but it would open up the doors for all kinds of research and explorations. So then he started talking more specifically about the work that I needed to do now, since no one would want me to consult on anything until I was an expert at something, saying how I was just getting lost in these distractions and would never get where I wanted until I did what I had to do first.

Darn it, he was right and I knew it. So we started talking about the Corporate Sustainability research and the research work he expected me to complete this term evolving from my paper. "WHAT?" I thought it was something new, unrelated to my paper. "NO," he told me how the term paper I did gave a lot of the background and something about Corporate Sustainability efforts, but that to make it a research paper for publishing I needed to go through ALL the research in Corporate Sustainability. He got really specific about how the science and publications have evolved into the paradigms and spirit and consciousness issues more and more which was where my research into Unity concepts was going anyway.

What did this feel like?

I guess it was really cool, and I was thrilled about what he wanted me to do. It was certainly a lot clearer and specific . . . . Ugh, which really means I have a SHIT-LOAD to do! I guess that's why he hired Michelle to help. She's so bright and talented that she can get anything done really quickly, which gives me more time to get into all kinds of other things.

What else happened?

I found out what was happening at the Med School. More fiefdom shit, where the people in control want to stay in control and are intimidated that I might be able to do something they can't do, or something? It's weird how I come in to help and they think I want to take over. I mean, she even said specifically in our meeting how I couldn't take over all her research . . . lol . . . sure the dean and chair sent me over to meet with them, but that's more so that I would leave them alone instead of them wanting me to take anything over. It's like people are so short-sighted and hanging onto the fear instead of seeing the opportunities. Like in Nursing where she couldn't accept some engineer might be able to add and develop things in her field . . . lol . . . what a pain! Course I'm thrilled to have a like minded friend there ready to help. He wrote asking if I needed help getting around some walls yesterday too. Read into it more than me. . . lol . . . Brilliant. So I know everything will come out perfect, too much is set here in motion perfectly . . .

What else did you do?

Oh it was funny after lunch John and I emptied all his boxes and sorted out all the files and such, getting things organized in both offices as Michelle researched something else on the PC next to us. Then he had to just clear out what was left in his office, and I finished some journal stuff. I told him I only had an hour left before my IBA meeting so he soon got me to fix things on his PC and get into all sorts of things. It was good to get things going and I explained what tools I was using and how and all. Course that only means I will need to do and show him more.... as I was rushing to get out for the IBA meeting....

What was next?

I guess for my IBA class we met with Mike again. I raced out of BSN on my bike knowing I had only 30 minutes or so to get home and drive out to meet. The rest of my team was driving out of the school and honked as I passed them at the Fowler light. Course I just had to race faster. As soon as I got home I emailed Mike the background I had printed from our last meeting. Showered, changed and jumped in my truck. I got there about 10 minutes after our 6pm meeting started. I snapped a picture and got to work. We all were asking questions and he told us a lot again. Then we left after 8pm. When I got home I realized I left my book bag and camera sitting in his office. I was really freaking about it . . . I knew it was safe but worried anyway, didn't sleep too well. . .

What about your sleep?

I was dreaming about being trapped in some team, that would kill people who tried to leave the team. It was really freaky and very vivid. It was a cult or something, like I could feel and hear someone in the room after me since I was complaining or something. Looked like the Paul thing. I almost wrote about it in my dream pad next to my bed, but it was really kinda freaky and I didn't want to know more about it. Course I woke up at 3am again but with the tired freakiness I just wanted to stay in bed . . . I want to sleep now too. I jumped up at 7am and called Mike. Someone answered the phone and said he should be in soon, so I jumped in my truck and raced over.

I figured it was time to tell him I was an engineer and give him more details about my background since we would be alone . . . no IBA Team. But he was laughing and talking with his staff there so I didn't want to corner him to talk business. When I got home I emailed him and gave him some more details then.

What else did you need to do?

I was planning on biking with Pam and Karen again, so I was trying to stay clear and get awake for that. Pam just called me now to say she's not feeling up for a bike ride either. Great, so now I can get some more sleep or something good like that.

What else do you want to do?

I want to read all John's Journals and get some sound files together for DJ at Harmony. . . good to have the day here to rest and relax . . . I'm beat!

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ. Thank you for your Grace Love and Wisdom, please fill me with your Light Amen.

Wow... this will be a ride...

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

The Universe"

Subject:TUT... A Note from the Universe

If you were to be given some wicked power tools, plus a hammer, chissle and axe, to craft, carve and shape the life of your wildest dreams, Eric, (if this was actually how you could get your groove on), I'd bet you all the money in the world that you'd be really, really careful with each of your bangs, buzzes, and chops, huh? I mean, we both know how much you'd have riding on the line, right?

Well, that same extraordinary care and precision should be exercised when using your imagination - the most powerful power tool ever.
The Universe

Bizzzzzzzz, buzzzzzzzz, zerrrrrrrrrr... "I'm happy! I'm wealthy! I'm weyes!" Oops... think anyone will notice, Eric?

"I have 'known' for some time that we create our own reality, but you have succinctly put into words HOW to create it. I've explored many paths - Course in Miracles, Caroline Myss, Conversations with God, Kabbalah, Eckhardt Tolle, Buddhism, and others, and 'Infinite Possibilities' is the best. Thanks. You are a real blessing."

Infinite Possibilities
Thoughts become things... choose the good ones! ® ©

What happened?

I went to read my email since I couldn't sleep again. I did a chant, but not "all out" this time. I guess that means that I keep more energy in me - - instead of sending it out to the world.

What?

Oh, I got an email from DJ about doing my chant before or after her Sunday sermon. She wants to do a second sermon starting at 6pm too. So it really feels like things will be blasting through quickly. So I wrote Pam about how I always put the energy into Visions. She read the story of my accident:

Finally I told them I didn't like any of the fantasy angel stuff. If they wanted me, here on earth doing something for them, I wouldn't tolerate any fantasy spacey alien crap. I was here in the now and would only help out if I stayed in the NOW and not floating around with all this other crap!

I realized that she sees everything I do and say. It's funny, since we met. . . the first time she came over to fire with John and Chris - everytime I started to chant, she gets lost in the breathe. I mean, she connects to the Spirit so easily, that when I connect any bit at all, she can feel it and connects as well. Every time I start anything she gets totally lost into it; whether I stay there or not. Wow, I never realized this before about her. But as we chanted on Sunday I found a lot of her.

What did you tell her in the email?

I said how I put the energy into visions, but I never said how it was always just a tiny flash for me. Course whenever I go back and look at the flash it gets so full and clear. Oh yea, so I told her DJ was ready to ROCK!!!! and then said how I had a vision of the 10k/min. . . . from someone somewhere . . . knowing how she's really the marketing guru that can make that happen. . . .

eeek, I hope that's not the decimal point that she can get lost in. . . course she's sorta like me and never cares about the decimal . . . . It's funny how much we seem to have in common and know about these things. Like on our bike ride Saturday Karen and I started talking about the greed over the water, and so Pam learned all about that. Everything only comes when we are ready!

Please Loving Lord Jesus Christ Help ME with the tasks and duties You have placed before me today, so I may Fulfill Our Dreams for the Glory of Father, Son and Holy Ghost, Amen!
I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

The One to Rule them all

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What do you feel?

I'm not really sure. I went to a grant lecture yesterday about what it takes to get something through NIH. It seems everything is there to help me to do exactly what I need to do. Then Lee from the City called about the Tampa Riverwalk, and I think he really understood what I wanted to do. He repeated it to me about getting a patent to get the funding together, but then I told him how I already had the Patent. This of course shifted the focus a bit I'm sure. Then Kathy called too about setting up the classes at Harmony. . .

Everything is falling into place like clock work.

What did you ask for?

I guess that's for sure. It's funny. I got all the Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Matrix and a few other DVD's I thought I should watch again. So I've been watching one every Friday or so. Then I watched the Fellowship on Thursday, so last night I watched the Towers and started the Return, and then this morning I finished watching the Return. I wonder if I ever saw this before. It seemed very new to me. It was kinda choppy in spots on this laptop, so I wonder if I need to watch them all over again somewhere else. I thought of calling TC about watching them all with him. Pam said she couldn't sit that long, but she's offered me an old TV.

What do you feel?

I guess the Lord of the Rings series is about the evil trying to destroy all other life on the Earth. Which I guess is really what I need to deal with. Of course I always try to figure out which aspect is which, and what all the symbolism is, since it is reflecting me and my life as usual. I guess the ring is greed or money or selfishness which is what I am beating. And I guess that's what makes me the ring-bearer since I can create anything and patents are easy for me. I created the three that started everything and I just need to put things together more.

Hum the three rings to rule them all. lol... oh that is just too funny. Of course now I see how the great Elf Elrond is played by Hugo Weaving who also played Agent Smith in the Matrix. A WEAVER, figures. But he is the wise good-guy in the Lord of the Rings while he's the evil bad guy in the Matrix. Hum, course he's the one who ends the Matrix. When Neo blasted through him in the first Matrix he learns how to blast though everyone else, or to recreate himself through anyone. Which really sets the stage for Neo to destroy him as he becomes everyone and Neo blasts through him again.

What does this make you feel?

I'm not sure because I know the Weavers are all representing things stronger and stronger for me to do or become. Which I guess what this is all about. When I went to a lunch Thursday with the Hispanic Chamber of Commerce I realized how much more I needed to learn. And of course that I'm insecure for no good reason at all. It's really kinda funny. I remember the other day with Pam or something we were all talking about sex and growing up. I was kissing in Kindergarten and had a girlfriend in first grade. We would sit on the couch and kiss for hours. Course everyone else was afraid of the opposite sex or not interested at all.

I guess that's why I am doing what I can do now. Like I keep seeing Tampa as the center of the World and everything that evolves comes from here. Like the political systems all fall apart as Tampa begins to Spread her wings and overcome all the corruption. The truth suddenly yields tremendous power and all the others everywhere can not do anything without the power we control and mover from here. lol. . . . Seeing how all three of my patents were discussed and explored last week it seems like things are going faster than ever.

What else happened this weekend?

I went biking with Pam and Karen. We drove to Dunedin again and rode up the Honeymoon Island. This time we went out on the beach and stayed there for a while. lol... It was really wonderful...

So here's where we went Saturday:
http://www.pinellascounty.org/park/11_Philippe.htm
http://casatinas.com/index2.html
http://www.pinellascounty.org/virtual_tours/trail_honeymoon.htm
http://purplemooninc.com/

What about Sunday.

I got there early of course and Pam got there soon too, so we chanted in the Gazibo. I mean, we did the sounds together and then did the whole Chant. And I actually told her what it all was about. She got all charged up a whole lot and was sorta floating around the rest of the day. It was really kinda funny. But she said how I should be careful who I teach it too. I'm not sure what she was thinking, but I immediately thought of Emily, who kinda did what she wanted with her energy with no regard for responsibility or what is right or wrong. Course I wonder now if Emily would know the difference there at all.

What else?

I invited Beth to bike with us before I left. And then saw her come home as I was leaving Pam's house at the end of the day. I miss her. Course I thought of inviting Michelle to come with us next weekend too. I'm not sure what else.. Oh except I need to forget this "insecure crap" and get busy with all that I have before me.

Please Loving Lord Jesus Fill me with Your Strength, Love and Wisdom so I may Fulfill Our Dreams for the Glory of Father, Son and Holy Ghost...
I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

Hum, r we done with flight school?

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What are you doing now?

I just mowed the lawn and showered. I guess I decided to keep it mowed, and now I realize I need to start getting more serious about a lot of things. Like I'm taking IBA now and could have found any company I wanted to do. Instead I did the common sense networking with the Chamber of Commerce and found a company through them.

What's wrong with that, it forced you get out networking and what else did you feel and see today?

I guess I went to a Hispanic Chamber Luncheon and met the special guest . . . who evidently has a great deal in common with me. And now again I realize how simple it is for me to network and communicate with people, and there really is no reason for me to be insecure about it. wow, it that all it is, that I'm being insecure. Of course everyone goes to these meetings to meet people. That's what it is all about anyway for everyone.

And now that I think about it, I know I can feel and empower people all the time very easily. It's really almost funny how easy it is for me to do this. Again I am filled with visions of truth and justice. Of course I'm here in Tampa and I'm very interested in making a whole lot of things happen.

What are you feeling now?

I just flashed into a whole scenerio of how everything I saw came together into a perfect dream. It was really kinda funny, or weird how it all made perfect sense and unity. Wow, that was weird, unity in Tampa? I'm not sure why that should be any surprise at all. I mean, it's really nothing new for me.

I mean even the speakers at the Luncheon today spoke about the family and personal aspects of trade in Asia. Course then I realized all these folks could help me with the China deal and I started asking about that. Then when I got back to school to email them, and I realized that the China deal was the perfect example for the Sustainable Trade model that Patel was talking to me about. Here I could provide the Intellectual capitol so they could develop a new industry. Each sharing in the win-win deals.

Course the guest speakers at the luncheon were talking about the expansion efforts in the port and increased trade there, so they knew all about the Patel Trade model and the Gates Grant and all the rest.

What did you feel?

I really felt a lot. But I was totally lost. I mean I could feel when people looked at me and I know there is a lot of energy moving everywhere. I know I just need to let go into the flow and realize that everything is here for me to evolve and grow into and with. So of course everything falls together and I meet and chat with people who can make things happen. . . lol. . . Since I have so many things to do.

What do you think now?

I guess I've been thinking too much. I remember reading in Kaballah how its really the highest goal to lose the ego and trust and follow in the Spirit. lol... And I'm so lost from the ego that I fear people instead of love them in the Spirit. I mean the people are so ego programmed that I forget that I can feel and get into all this other cool stuff. Feeling the truth and power in the spirit is all that I need to be doing...

What else?

I guess I did up some videos and sounds for DJ so she asked again about my classes Sunday morning. Wow, like perfect timing, I know this is going to really start cooking. There are just too many pieces coming together too quickly for me not to see how it will all work. I just need to start biting the bullet a bit more and doing it!

What do you need?

Please Dearest Loving Lord Jesus fill me with Your Strength Love and Wisdom as I grow and DO what we have dreamed of forever.

What else?

Please be with all of us here in Tampa and elsewhere as we grow in Your
Love for Your Glory amen.
I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What's up?

I thought I was getting more sleep. . . lol. . . or I need more sleep. Well I guess I'm ready for dinner now! But that's ok, it's been a busy busy day. The Emerge/Junior Acheivement thing was cool this morning. Of course I got the Honors Math class with two ladies. One of them was a talker so I never said too much, except that there were a few engineers-wanna-be's there. So I was standing on my feet for the first 4 hours of the day. When I got here to USF I was ready to sleep.

But then I had to get serious about picking a company to work with in IBA. I had a few people say yes, but I've not gotten any confirmations in email yet. Course that means I'll get a dozen yes's at the last minute. Like tomorrow morning before class they will all be asking me to do up their companies. I guess that's typical.

I guess now I remember I need to write up an invoice for Dave and get the Earth Charter web site together. Course I just want to sleep!

Who else did you chat with?

I guess Pam called about needing some help with something. Then she realized she really didn't. So I told her she jsut called so I could remind her to get Mary and DJ over to Chant! She laughed and then said she would try tonight. Course that means I should be going home now... or soon

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

Iba companies now

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What's up?

I guess there is just too much going on again. Thursday was a big day. Started at 9am meeting where I told him the same things that he had said starting at USF. We are talking about doing all kinds of really cool incredible things.

As we were chatting, I was actually in his chair opening up my webpages on his PC. I guess hearing me say about what he said was kinda freaky, so seeing it all written up must have been just the best thing in the whole world. . . So anyway as we were chatting I saw Scott walk by just as I had been seen riding up on my bike to meet. So after we chatted at bit, I mentioned to him how I had seen Scott. And he said Scott was in the next office.

When we were done, I went next door to talk with Scott. I closed his door and told him about the knife in my back. And that's just what I felt and went on telling him all the rest of the wonder and glory I was getting lost in. It was really kinda cool, like old friends. And then I opened the door to leave and he got really LOUD and angry talking about the knife in his back. . . lol . . . Oh sure, now that the door is open you want to yell about your poor little ego!

Course I never gave it another thought and simply said we needed to plan something to clean the slate. And I was gone. I stopped in the UC to deposit an engineering check and walked around a bit. Then I noticed there was a Trustees Board Meeting up in the ballroom, so I went up to look. It was just starting and had Riah leading the meeting all the way through.

Course from where she sat I was just behind the podium for the speakers as I leaned against the entry door watching. It was like she was looking right at me! So I realized it's time for me to grab the bull by the horns I guess. The Faculty Union President spoke about getting the required graduate hours back down to only 9 instead of 12. Course I chatted with him a bit when he left. Then the Provost went up to say how the University enrollment was up again by 2% to 44,000 now. . . .Wow. . .

Soon I headed back to my office and did a bit before the 3pm group. Nothing too exciting there. But then I had a NSHMBA dinner to go to down town. Wow, was that cool. I got on line at the entrance, and the lady behind me was the president of the Hispanic Chamber of Commerce. So we had lots to chat about. And soon Jose was there with us too, as she knew him very well.

I never told him too much but still want to. But Santiago came by and greeted us too. Evidently she knew him really well. And he's the Mayors righthand man. Great! So I spoke to him more and gave him the Riverwalk Patent thingy I gave Jose last week. He loved it and wanted me to meet with the Riverwalk boss ASAP.

Course when I left I tried to call Scott. All the phone numbers are dead. And then I wrote everyone I met. I was hunting for a company to do our IBA with. I got a few leads and wrote a bunch of people, but nothing yet.

I wrote Santiago about STARS since I soon found out what his passion and work in Tampa was all about too. Course he sent that to the Riverwalk dude, and never noticed it was for him instead. So I need to get on the phone and talk with him again soon

What bothers you now?

I guess, I'm afraid Scott will try the selfish control crap again and I just don't want to deal with it. I mean he cancelled all our meetings and stuff when he didn't get his way with Chuck. But I did it all anyway by myself and apparently was right where I needed to be as usual.

What does this mean for you?

I know more work, more time, more struggles. Course he could decided to help me just as easily as he could decide not to. And that could have completely different results.

What do you feel?

I guess I was really happy to see him. And said how I almost called him just to go to a movie. But when I opened the door he started whinnying about more hospital visits and needing some "procedure" I was kinda disgusted. . .

What do you feel?

I guess I feel he'll get what he brings onto himself, just like everyone else does. Course he is more conscious than a lot of people so it might come onto him a lot quicker. lol... Just like I told Brain! The energy is increasing and the battle between good and evil will be getting very intense. Not that it is anything new for me. . . As I'm always dealing with too much anyway.

What did you feel tonight again?

I know I guess I want to fall in Love. I need to get together and serious with someone because I know this is all going to be getting very strong and out of hand really soon.

What about just very strong? It might be getting more and more into your hands instead of out of them.

I know I've been seeing that a lot more too. Like I need to get to sleep now

What for?

I Know you will want me to chant later... Good night

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

Another Semester starts... IBA => The Capstone Integrated Business Applications Course

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What happened today....

I had to get rid of that model. Wow, I could work on it for another six months. But only two weeks, so that's what they got. It's still better than where they started of course. I'm just so happy to let go of it. As I drove away I felt such a relief to know I could focus on school again. Course then I realized TC's office was there too so I stopped in. Interrupted his meeting with Tina, he just got back from a boat trip with Jack so they were buried again. Office changed a bit again, more people working too.

So when I got to school no one wanted any patents or a NY firm, so we were without a company in the IBA class. Course Solomon was blunt and direct, saying I should have one already. I told him I did have a few but that he wouldn't do any of mine, so I only planned to come in and do what he wanted, no strings attached. So he told me to find us a company. I said Evos, and he knew Diamond too, and had asked a few times with no success. Then I said my dad or engineering companies since I asked Dave before. We agreed I'd search till Friday.

Course then Irene was in the Management Office. She sends letters every year to ask for companies for the IBA . . . no one wants to give a list of clients, suppliers and financials. Wow, asking for lists up front? Sounded like Big Brother, or like the Patriot Act crap. There's a job we can do, rewite the IBA + SBDC deals . . . lol. . .

When I got into my office, I laughed thinking about seeing TC and Tina earlier. They NEED an IBA done. . . called Dave too. Then wrote them an email and copied my dad. Just cracked that door open a little bit . . . no real effort . . . lol . . .

What does that make you feel?

I guess nothing at all. It's really almost funny, I don't care anymore. I know nothing ever escapes the earth unless it's better I never see it again anyway. So that they do what they like, and I forgive them, and let them do whatever they like. . . But simply never subject myself to anymore of it. It's not my problem anymore, let them all figure it out for themselves.

What do you feel thou?

I guess I wonder and miss them all. Course everyone has values and hopes for fellow peoples' growth and success. . . SO it's always nice to hear about progress. However, no more expense on my part. . . lol. . . It's that, I really don't feel much for them. Sorrow, disappointment. . . But then it's stress I don't need and having one-sided relations are just exploitive, not functional. I have no need for their "use of me". . . There is really nothing more to it. I guess I've not ever gotten much from any of them.

LOL . . . Wow, just wrote that to Solomon, how I get pleasure in others success. Lol, so my family never listen to me, lol. . . and similarly never succeed. . . lol. . . nothing that bad. Because they listened lots at a time. Oh that's it, nothing feels there because there's nothing to say! I'm not interested in their greed and consumerism, and they simply are not conscious of anything else.

Wow, it's that simple. The greed and consumerism is death not life. They are choosing to die, while I'm living!

Eeek that's freaky

Why? It's almost obvious to you now. . .

I know because I dominated all the greed and consumerism before I was 10. And now it's just gibberish to me. Oh child's play, nothing of meaning or substance. LOVE? Family? What's that without substance and meaning?

What do you want to see happen next?. . .

I would really like to see everything come together fully. All the patents and all the businesses, and all the fun successes everywhere. lol. . . lots of smiling faces, growth, clarity, freedom, truth in transparency.

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ. Please fill me with Your Strngth, Love and Wisdom as You Guide me to Fulfill Glory of Father, Son and Holy Ghosts!

here we go again... lol...

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What are you feeling now?

I'm tired again. . . I'm doing just too much again. It's such a pain in the butt to get these stupid models done. I know it's always a question of how much do I want to do. I hate it when I just keep doing more and more and suddenly realize what I already did was better than what I started with. Sure I need to improve the systems but I'm getting paid to make it work, not make it Perfect! That is really so very annoying. I know when I can get things done and when I need to be busy doing other things.

Like yesterday I went to visit Pam, she had a little bar-be-que for the holiday. Course I thought I'd only have salad wanting to say away for the typical hamburgers and junk. But Laura homemade everything organic, yum, even chicken burgers. . . So it was fun and relaxing, so I stayed there all day. Course I kept hinking about these models and what else I could do to make them pretty. Yucko, I can't wait until this one is done, and I don't have to do anything more with it. Then I can just focus on the school work that I'm doing.

I guess when the models are running like now I can sit in my bedroom reading articles and writing more. Course since I started this blog, I've looked at the models 3 times already. I'm just running one, so it should be done in 15 minutes or so.

What else do you want to do tonight?

I guess I'm going down the the Chamber again and seeing about volunteering for a teach-in kinda thing. I love doing this stuff, but it's more to get hold of Jose again and get the Riverwalk started.

What do you feel?

I guess I'm just tired and perplexed. There is just so many things I keep thinking about and getting into that just make my head spin. Like I finally followed up on the Med school stuff and am meeting someone on Thursday. I'm not sure about how this is all going to come together yet.. lol... opps models done... be right back4.43pm

4.48pm Opps goofed, comparing apples and oranges, so I restarted it again . . . So I've got about an hour before I head downtown for the Emerge Teach-in thingy. Ugh! I can't wait to be able to ride my bike to school again and only focus and research and studies there. I know that's what will really be changing the world. I just know it.

Why do you say that?

I guess when I finished my article and then John gave me his book chapter that discussed some of the same concepts. Like so close and similar it was scary. Course I took his class while I worked on the paper so we even had some of the same sources in our works; which shouldn't be a surprise to anyone. But then Dr. Nords reading groups where so far each one had my name quoted three times and also gave me more insight and work to do. Which has been making me think that the Med school stuff will develop from the Action Research that I'm studying with them.

So things are all coming together pretty smoothly. What did you dream about last night?

I only wrote a little of it, but it was something with Emily again. We were adjusting the rules for something . . . hum, so that they could have more freedom. lol . . . Course this all started with me say how they would be trapped, and they wouldn't believe me or accept it. Course they were in control, why would they think it would be a trap at all. But the American Machine is all about control and greed, so they were thinking they were in control, while their own thinking was what the trap was not anything outside of them. Which is really kinda weird and funky. Like the article I wrote for John. It talks about the evil we create and pretend not to create, is actually jet-fuel for the American Machine. We are not conscious about the energy we make or expel in our actions, but those who live off of it get stronger and stronger. . .

Oh that's what I keep telling DJ, that we need to focus and ground the energy before it starts getting too strong out there everywhere. I know we can control it now, just like I know there are not many people who can control it. So the more we allow it to keep flowing the more these evils can grow and expand their own controls over this energy that exists. Oh that's why I keep getting stronger and stronger issues, because I'm not dispelling them all fast enough. I know I can do things that on one knows or understands about. So of course I know I can get things moving and happening really strong. But also if I don't do what I need to do, then these energies keep flowing and growing anyway . . . messing with those who could learn and grow with me. . . while also feeding the Machine!

Done model again 5.10pm ... lol.... double oops 5.16pm restarted again..

What do you want to get done most of all?

I don't know if I can say so easily... but ending all the greed and corruption in the world would be nice. . . so would falling in love. Or a family of only love... hum, One Family, lol... Your Family. And Your Earth, ok our Earth. . . . I guess that's all about building the one true system of love that will support us all. Course then I realize everyone will look at me and ask why I think my system is any better than anyone elses. . . lol . . .

What you never say is that it is not yours, or only yours, it is everyone's, the same dream everyone has had and shared, anyone can read your first story only and see, feel and know part of it that they have seen in their own dreams

I know, but no one reads anything I write. . .

Not until they are ready. Everything comes in time, and when people finally get enough energy in them to read your work, they will hunger to read more and more, none of it will be missed. Countless servers across the globe will choke downloading your files. . . everything comes in time son, no fear, no worries, just do what you are given!

I know and I will

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ. Please fill me with Your Strength and Wisdom so I may achieve for your Glory... Amen!

Science & Technology at Scientific American.com: Affirmation of Worth Boosts Scores of Black Children

Science & Technology at Scientific American.com: Affirmation of Worth Boosts Scores of Black Children: "SCIENCE NEWS
August 31, 2006
Affirmation of Worth Boosts Scores of Black Children
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Science Image: schoolchild
Image: ©TOM AND DEE ANN MCCARTHY/CORBIS

African-American schoolchildren who completed a brief writing assignment designed to reaffirm their sense of self-worth received higher grades at the end of the semester than those given a control intervention, a new study finds. These better-performing children closed the grade gap with their white peers by 40 percent, apparently because the assignment interrupted the harmful effects of declining performance early in the semester.

Researchers have invoked a concept called stereotype threat to help explain why black students in the U.S. consistently perform worse in school than their white counterparts. In this view, members of a minority experience anxiety at the prospect of confirming negative stereotypes about their group, such as low intelligence. This anxiety impedes their performance in tasks that reflect on the stereotype, creating a downward spiral in which anxiety and poor performance feed on one another. In past experiments college students have been told that a test they are about to take is "

11:14:06 AM

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What’s the problem?

I’ve been running models for days and really just want it done. It’s just something more to deal with and I really don’t feel like it. Course I could hire someone to deal with it too. But I think they are all scammers that really just want to make money not do what is right. Then that’s the same problem with all the courts and all the systems in Florida and everywhere. Which is certainly not what I need to say to some judge.

Why not?

I just think it will create more problems than help with anything.

What do you really feel about it?

I guess I feel like it could be the time for me to confront the system again. I feel like that’s all I’ve done and it’s never worked in the courts. First the county and then my kids where I lost everything on both of them. Now fighting again seems really crazy, like they have more money than anyone else so they can get what they want easier than anyone. And I just feel like the greed and arrogance will just make me mad and I’ve blow off some steam. . .

What’s wrong with that?

I’m afraid of that too. I always remember seeing the sparks fly from my fingers and that’s really freaky. It’s almost like some space fantasy show, where cops come after me with guns and ZAP they all spontaneously burn up. Nothing left but a pile of ashes.

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

More to do!

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What's up?

I'm reading and running models. Getting this bigger Sony Back is just great. I got two machines in my office on, and I can open and check the files from here to see when the models are done. Then I can walk over there and restart them or whatever. It's really easy and simple, while let's me keep reading school articles and such in here. Oh I'm laying on my bed with my laptop. . . . Dam am I lazy, ain't it wonderful?

What have you been reading?

I guess more articles from Dr. Nord's group. It's all related to my own research and work of course. So that's kinda neat too. Every time I find a new author or search out some footnote I end up with a ton more to read. I know I could update my article for months and still barely get it started, or barely catch all that I need to get into it. I read it again too, feeling how Sharon would read it, and realized that I never finished it. Sure I got a conclusion, but it's clear to me that there is still a lot more that needs to be added and expanded on there. It's strong and clear up to the end where it really just falls off.

Sharon said we should use my article in the Reading Group yesterday. Eeek that would really be too much for me. Of course she might not feel that way after reading it. . . lol. . . I would love the feedback but getting them all in my face might not be very pleasant. Course I guess that's why I wrote something so strong, so that people can get more conscious about the truth they are all hiding from.

I'm kinda falling asleep now. I know I have a lot more to model and such, but I'm just not clear on what to do next or anything. I guess it really kinda sucks! Maybe I should take a nap!

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

Observer Essay

Observer Essay: "taking the long-term human future seriously would require developing ecological literacy throughout the entire College, from students through trustees. We have a model in the continuing effort to develop and upgrade our computer literacy. We have other models having to do with gender, sexual orientation, and racial equality that have been institutionalized in policy guidelines and administrative procedures. The planning question is how we might institutionalize the capacity to think and act across discipline boundaries as if evolution, ecology, thermodynamics, and the long-term future really mattered."

Reading Group

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What took you so long to get in here? You've been asking and asking for more and more to do and BE. Now before your eyes you see countless aspects of this power and truth that you are. Why not do what you like? Isn't that what you are always asking for?

"Please Jesus give me Your Strength & Wisdom" Can you even guess how many times you've said and written that. This is all about what you wanted to do and where you want to be. So what happened today, or more importantly who did you meet?

I started at 7am at an Emerge Breakfast in TBPAC. 1/2 hour early so I beat Colleen there, she's the Tampa Chamber Coordinator for Emerge. She's heading north, can't stand the sleepy life of Florida vs the NE. we chatted a bit, as I was ready to work. Erik planned to introduce me to Jose so I could talk about the Riverwalk. He said how good my presentation to him was so I did the same with Jose. . . Started off asking for help with my neighborhood trail. That wasn't too bright, as hindsight is 20:20 I guess?

What do you need to judge this for, just tell who else?

I rode my bike from TBPAC to the County Center to visited Kim since the Stonelake Calibration was due today, we rescheduled it for Wednesday . . . lol . . . She's to busy doing the model fixes for Deese like I always did ("administrative orders"... lol... yucko!). I told her how cool it was to fix stuff, and then see them put in the pipes draining Carrollwood down Dale Mabry. 48" CMP 20' down... EEK!!! But nothing else worked! Course she needs the English Creek Model now; which was awesome before Parsons Fucked it up.... lol... more work for me I'm sure...

Then I drove to USF by 10am for Dr. Nord's reading group. It wasn't until 10.30 so I had time to print my notes. . . Dr. Kranc from ENG was there for it too. He recognized me in the hall and we chatted a bit before the group. He's retired but still doing research and already offered Dr Yeah use of his lab!!!

Oh wow, that's really cool ... I need to visit him again too. I know, I need to get out on my bike again. I got a new one so I can ride to school again. So Tuesday I guess I'm riding in ... Ugh ... lol...

What happened next. . .

Well, last week I talked to John about the Honor Code crap with Sharon. He gave me a completely different perspective and I realized that I had to tell her all about it. So before Nord's meeting I went down and talked to her about it. Dr. Nord is next door to her and was in the hall as I greeted her. Told her about John's Chapter in the book Nord edited for SAGE and he told me it's the 2nd time he did it. Showed me his copy on his shelf . . . While I have John's copy in my reading stack in my office already! lol... Guess I should have told him that... da... since he picked the big thing off his shelf to show me!

So I chatted with Sharon a bit and told her I needed to chew her ear off again. She understood and said maybe we would have time next week. So then I told her about Equan being in her daughters college program. . . . lol. . . like the Boy Scout who helped me in the church was there with her daughter. She said her daughter knew nothing about the church. Wow they'd seen her 4 times over the 6 week summer program already . . . eek, must be a 4 hour drive up there!

What did you give her?

Oh, I told her about the article I wrote for John too. I said how it was freaky how similar my article and John's Chapter were. He had only given me his proof after seeing my draft. So she offered to read it over for me too, and I told her only if she marked up a copy for me . . . . lol . . . So she got and printed John's and mine to read this weekend.

What happened at the meeting?

It was kinda funny I guess. Dr. Nord had invited 3 new people from all over the university. Dr. Kranc hadn't known I would be there when we talked earlier. So three times he mentioned me by name as he referred to engineering stuff . . . which was really weird again. Course I didn't say a word throughout the meeting again except then at the very end. And I guess I said something that was really obvious to me, but kinda central to the meeting. It was almost an aside. How the articles we read were all related. I said how Ray Anderson was doing Action Research in his business by asking employees to create their own incentive programs to develop sustainabilty.

The QUEST program allowed them to make their own incentives and change them year to year. Picking the lowest fruit of course. But all through the meeting, the debate was about how incentives or little check boxes for employees becomes a useless automatic process. People would check the box for the incentive, but never adopt the culture or the practice leadership was trying to inspire.

I felt almost opposite, any rich CEO leader talking to poor migrant factory staff is really rare. No matter what the incentive or survey form might be. Allowing staff to develop incentives is like recognizing them as people.

WHAT real people work there. . . lol . . . Course that's totally contrary to the American Profit Machine. Migrants just need to work endless hours, for little pay and no benefits! No one wants to know they are even there. They are only here to pay taxes. . . lol. . . How can anyone treat them like people?

So as I listened to this debate over research theories and incentive procedures, I wondered if anyone had ever had to really work? I've been a grunt in a factory before. lol... Felt like an idiot barely understanding all their technical terms. Lol . . . been a grunt in the city, county and the business world too. lol... slave for money even a few times!!!

Then at the end about when the meeting was breaking up I finally said what I thought. I guess it wasn't the very end, but I remember Alan was up doing something so there was enough of a break that I could say something . . . . I saw some eyes big and round, wondering about another perspective. lol. . . But then we were talking about the next readings and meeting times.

As I left and went on running about doing stuff; Michelle was in the office, so I wanted to keep her busy. . . At every corner of the place I noticed people from the meeting still talking. It was kinda funny, each turn I would see two more members standing around talking. Course I need to ask Dr. Nord to invite Michelle, they already know each other so she would make the time. It's kinda funny working with her now . . .

What do you need to say about her?

It's like I'm working with Emily again. Still the totally bright little sponge ready to do or learn anything. They most likely are twins about now! OK, it's funny the other day chanting or something I remember seeing this big debate I had with John and Sharon about my paper and the energy people create and my daughter and student stuff all came out where they were actually twins with the same opportunities and challenges. Hum something was very different about it too. They looked the same, same skills and outlook, but one positive and the other...

What alot of power and focus you are moving now. There are so many doors open for you again and so much you can do. What are you feeling about IBA with Solomon?

I guess I keep thinking about offering up a patent. I created them for this and doing it myself might be the best or only thing I can do. I know I will need to follow it all up with Emerge and Jose and all . . . but in class Wednesday I created a team with just who was sitting next to me. And we all got exited about working together and Dr Solomon had some consultant down from NY who wanted us to help her start a company. We all met with her after class. It's a new placement company, a successful group in NY wants to expand a bit.

So anyway one student on our team mentioned that with a NY company we would miss the opportunity to network in Tampa. I agreed completely and wrote about the Chamber meeting and businesses I want to do but Solomon refused. . . Great networking opportunities. But who knows?

No one responded about it. But I've been feeling I had to give a 1/3 of the patent to the company and want to say the same deal to Jose for the Riverwalk....

What do you feel about it?

I guess I felt like I missed the opportunity with Jose, since I was off in a story instead of just "let's make a deal". . . . But I know we will meet again. So I need to get busy with that. Oh and also get busy with the medical school. Of course I saw all this Action Research with them too. The whole concept of the Wiki was creating the space for everyone to edit and create the research together. . . I never knew that was Action Research

What Happened now?

I just flashed into a meeting with Klasko again! So here's the deal dude! That's just so funny, I'm sick with it. All my patents out there in thirds... some for you, some for me and the last 1/3 for the school!

CMRadionet God is going to shake it all down... everything that can it will be... everything that can it will be... everything that can it will be... everything that can it will be... everything that can it will be... everything that can it will be... everything that can it will be... everything that can it will be... everything that can it will be

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ. Thank You for Your Grace Love and Wisdom!!! Amen.