here we go again... lol...

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What are you feeling now?

I'm tired again. . . I'm doing just too much again. It's such a pain in the butt to get these stupid models done. I know it's always a question of how much do I want to do. I hate it when I just keep doing more and more and suddenly realize what I already did was better than what I started with. Sure I need to improve the systems but I'm getting paid to make it work, not make it Perfect! That is really so very annoying. I know when I can get things done and when I need to be busy doing other things.

Like yesterday I went to visit Pam, she had a little bar-be-que for the holiday. Course I thought I'd only have salad wanting to say away for the typical hamburgers and junk. But Laura homemade everything organic, yum, even chicken burgers. . . So it was fun and relaxing, so I stayed there all day. Course I kept hinking about these models and what else I could do to make them pretty. Yucko, I can't wait until this one is done, and I don't have to do anything more with it. Then I can just focus on the school work that I'm doing.

I guess when the models are running like now I can sit in my bedroom reading articles and writing more. Course since I started this blog, I've looked at the models 3 times already. I'm just running one, so it should be done in 15 minutes or so.

What else do you want to do tonight?

I guess I'm going down the the Chamber again and seeing about volunteering for a teach-in kinda thing. I love doing this stuff, but it's more to get hold of Jose again and get the Riverwalk started.

What do you feel?

I guess I'm just tired and perplexed. There is just so many things I keep thinking about and getting into that just make my head spin. Like I finally followed up on the Med school stuff and am meeting someone on Thursday. I'm not sure about how this is all going to come together yet.. lol... opps models done... be right back4.43pm

4.48pm Opps goofed, comparing apples and oranges, so I restarted it again . . . So I've got about an hour before I head downtown for the Emerge Teach-in thingy. Ugh! I can't wait to be able to ride my bike to school again and only focus and research and studies there. I know that's what will really be changing the world. I just know it.

Why do you say that?

I guess when I finished my article and then John gave me his book chapter that discussed some of the same concepts. Like so close and similar it was scary. Course I took his class while I worked on the paper so we even had some of the same sources in our works; which shouldn't be a surprise to anyone. But then Dr. Nords reading groups where so far each one had my name quoted three times and also gave me more insight and work to do. Which has been making me think that the Med school stuff will develop from the Action Research that I'm studying with them.

So things are all coming together pretty smoothly. What did you dream about last night?

I only wrote a little of it, but it was something with Emily again. We were adjusting the rules for something . . . hum, so that they could have more freedom. lol . . . Course this all started with me say how they would be trapped, and they wouldn't believe me or accept it. Course they were in control, why would they think it would be a trap at all. But the American Machine is all about control and greed, so they were thinking they were in control, while their own thinking was what the trap was not anything outside of them. Which is really kinda weird and funky. Like the article I wrote for John. It talks about the evil we create and pretend not to create, is actually jet-fuel for the American Machine. We are not conscious about the energy we make or expel in our actions, but those who live off of it get stronger and stronger. . .

Oh that's what I keep telling DJ, that we need to focus and ground the energy before it starts getting too strong out there everywhere. I know we can control it now, just like I know there are not many people who can control it. So the more we allow it to keep flowing the more these evils can grow and expand their own controls over this energy that exists. Oh that's why I keep getting stronger and stronger issues, because I'm not dispelling them all fast enough. I know I can do things that on one knows or understands about. So of course I know I can get things moving and happening really strong. But also if I don't do what I need to do, then these energies keep flowing and growing anyway . . . messing with those who could learn and grow with me. . . while also feeding the Machine!

Done model again 5.10pm ... lol.... double oops 5.16pm restarted again..

What do you want to get done most of all?

I don't know if I can say so easily... but ending all the greed and corruption in the world would be nice. . . so would falling in love. Or a family of only love... hum, One Family, lol... Your Family. And Your Earth, ok our Earth. . . . I guess that's all about building the one true system of love that will support us all. Course then I realize everyone will look at me and ask why I think my system is any better than anyone elses. . . lol . . .

What you never say is that it is not yours, or only yours, it is everyone's, the same dream everyone has had and shared, anyone can read your first story only and see, feel and know part of it that they have seen in their own dreams

I know, but no one reads anything I write. . .

Not until they are ready. Everything comes in time, and when people finally get enough energy in them to read your work, they will hunger to read more and more, none of it will be missed. Countless servers across the globe will choke downloading your files. . . everything comes in time son, no fear, no worries, just do what you are given!

I know and I will

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ. Please fill me with Your Strength and Wisdom so I may achieve for your Glory... Amen!