3:45:18 PM

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What’s up?

I went to church this morning and met a very pretty tall blonde lady. She was talking to DJ about the SpiritRap music… Which I had just compiled together into one CD for DJ to use in her sermon. Lyn had heard the music and visited with the author who she’s trying to schedule to visit here to do a concert for us. Course Pam sorta looked at me, “go for it, before I do” . . . Oh da . . . What tall attractive in Florida means one thing: "player, headache, abused & pursued by everyone, too much baggage for me". . . So anyway I started talking to Lyn more and more. Turns out she works for a developer buying land . . . Oh my gosh . . .

Then she’s already got a masters in business and wants to get a Phd in Natural-pathic medicine and even has checked out the best schools in the country and visited them already. WOW. Like really wow!

So I told her just a little about what I’ve been doing at USF and all the craziness I’ve been dealing with. And she was enthralled and wants to know more and more. Seems like she’s never been trained in any of this stuff and wants to get into as much as possible. Course I’m in over my head and have been gasping for air.

She’s like a breath of fresh air. She asked me to join her and her friends for lunch and I told her I wanted to take her out for dinner so we could chat more. Course then I raced home to get some work done for Kim at the county and I can’t focus. I’m floating thinking of this lady. Hum she came down here after her masters and has been here for about 5 years. That sounds like she’s about 30 then. She’s very clear and focused, which is such a big turn-on. Course she looks like Emily too. Like a bigger version of Michelle. Oh too weird.

What do you want?

I want a lover who I can respect and grow with. Someone intelligent and talented who can handle all I’m doing and help me make sense of it all. I guess I need someone to Love more than anything. Not just another head-ache or someone to baby-sit. I really want to be challenged and pushed more too. It was neat how vibrant and charged she was, very excited to just be talking to me. It was very cool. Kinda un-nerving a bit even.

What do you really want?

I know I want to have children and really be in love again. That’s what I want more than anything.

What about all this that you do?

I guess having help and insight into everything would be really cool too. I know I can’t do everything myself, and I know having someone who is conscious and intelligent enough to follow me can be very exhilarating.

Please Loving Lord Jesus Christ Fill me with Your Grace Love and Wisdom so I may grow and learn to follow in your love and light, for the Glory of Father, Son and Holy Ghosts amen.

5:46:27 PM

Now I’m more nervous. I called her at 5pm sharp figuring that was dinner time. She just called me back from her car out shopping around and we chatted a bit. Course we can’t decide on what to eat or what we want to do, but agreed to meet over at the Panera Bread by USF. She lives in Carrollwood and never has been to this side of town too much. It seemed like a nice place to meet and we can go somewhere else from there if we want to.

What is bothering you then?

I guess I thought to bring my laptop. After I dropped off John from church I stopped by USF to drop off some juice and stuff I bought for there. Then I grabbed a few of my books and notes to share with Lyn. Now I’m thinking I’ve got too much to share. But I guess at church she was all excited and chatted a lot telling me everything she’s been doing. On the phone we both said how I needed to share a lot more with her.

What do you feel about that?

I’m nervous and insecure again. I want to be in love and set with someone, but then I know I need to get out and speak to people more. Even the journal stuff I found last night had a section about how I needed to get out and talk more. It’s really almost funny I guess. 6.33pm as I print out the Mayan Chant brochure. I had to update it for her too. But now printed and ready to go.

What you need to do is simply trust and relax. You are who you are, and that will always attract people. You need to simply trust that and stay with it.

I Love you Lord Jesus Thank You and Please fill me with your Word and Light tonight so Your Will can be done! Amem