Christopher finally....

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Dr. Fountain,
Thank you for allowing me to audit the SMA class last term.

Can you tell me what grade I would have gotten? Or make any comments or recommendations?
I am registered for this class in the Fall. I would be happy to do it all again. But if you prefer I could act as a TA and help the other students, and merely register so I can add the grade I earned last term to my transcript.

Thanks again
Eric

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Dr. Budd,
Hey Steve how are you doing this summer.

I’ve briefly told you a little bit about my projects and experiences since I’ve started at USF. And it’s only getting worse, faster and more involved. Attached is a list of people I’ve met and spoken to. Each time they would direct me to see someone else (as the order indicates). I’ve contacted them all except one Paul Sanberg.

Can we schedule a time when I can really go through this with you in detail? I don’t really need you involved or anything, but kinda just need to figure out how it get this all done!

Thanks again fro your time
Eric
http://www.starsusa.org/EricRWeaver.htm

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4:55:55 PM Lynn manager at the Outback.

I saw Christopher this morning in Dr. Prange’s office. It wasn’t nearly as fun and real as the first time. But after I was done I went to my group meeting at USF. They started with a check in... so I repeated something I said moments before we started... How the week was really fast, and too much was happening.

BUT someone asked me for a bit more details, and I started off saying how I meet with Christopher this morning.

I was in for it them.

I told them little bits and pieces about the conversation and what it was all about, laughing and joking all though it exactly like I had done with Christopher.

Then Dee said how it sounded like I was laughing to hide how I really felt, and he wanted to know how I really was feeling. I said how I knew how I felt and I knew it was just emotions and energy inside of me and I could direct the energy into laughter instead of crying because that was my choice. It’s only emotional energy and I can express it any way that I choose too. It was easier and better for me to express it as laughter to get the energy out of my system.

But he disagreed. He felt that I was not being honest with myself or with them. Expressing the laughter made it sound like it wasn’t a serious issue for me and that I was just goofing around instead of taking the situation seriously. And then someone said that Christopher might be feeling the same thing that they were. That this wasn’t serious to me and that it wasn’t important that I hadn’t seen him or his sister in months and years.

As I write this now I choke up to cry. I mean these are my perfect little angels who I raised for God. I mean, I knew what I was doing the moment I found out it was time to graduate, get married and have children. I knew I had to get this house. I knew I had to get married, I knew it was time for me to do everything that I did. Everything happened exactly as I needed it to happen and I was going along with the plan like a lost puppy.

So is this what I’m doing now... going along with the plan like a lost puppy?

“One man come in the Name of Love, one man in the Name of Love... One man climbed the barbed wire fence, One Man he resists... In the Name of Love, One Man in the Name of Love...” 5:57:11 PM music here in the Outback Restaurant on 56th in Temple Terrace, Florida

Yes I kinda figured this was all exactly as it needed to be in order for everything to come apart as it was planned from the beginning.

What else would you think Son? And you knew it wouldn’t be easy until you took it seriously, and then suddenly it would become very easy. So what are waiting for?

I was caught in a tight place. Dee and John were right on target. I was hiding how I really felt from them AND CHRISTOPHER, so there was really no point in them taking me serious or being concerned at all. I told them how I recognized Christopher’s point that I wasn’t normal goofing around all the time. When I left Dr. Prange’s office I started thinking about getting shaved and cleaned up with a suit on, just to meet with Chris next month. So now I realize that I needed to do a lot more than that. Getting clean and pretty to take the meeting with Dr Prange seriously was very important. But also how could I expect my son to take me serious if I didn’t take it serious either.

This is talks about how I can get together with my children again. This is very serious.

Wow I need to really tell him what I know and think about this all. I know what’s happening in his house and I don’t need to hide it or play around anymore. It’s too good of a deal. Too much happening too quickly. Thank you Loving Lord Jesus Christ... Amen...

Please loving lord Jesus, Be with Equan and guide him through the SAT test this weekend!
Thanks, Amen.