Friday, March 30, 2007

Fwd: Day 24 - THE ART OF GRATITUDE


Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!
I HAVE SOOO MUCH to be grateful for....
Right now, your Sun -- which represents your core self -- is in Aries, the zodiac sign that's all about "energy and inspiration." Master astrologer Jeff Jawer says Sun in Aries is "Like a spark that ignites the fire of your enthusiasm and untapped potential. Once you access these unique qualities ... you open the door to your personal greatness."
I mean I always have soooo much to do... and i can't even keep my feet on the ground... eeek
Fri, 30 Mar 2007 03:36:20 -0400 (EDT)
Subject: TUT... A Note from the Universe
You do know, Eric, that with your status now, you can be a conduit for all the love that's ever been felt?

Tap into all the knowledge that's ever been known?

Travel out-of-body through time and space?

Walk on water? Read minds? Speak tongues?

Love yourself? Feel good? Enjoy today?

Yeah, I say start at the bottom and work up.

The Universe

Thoughts become things... choose the good ones! ®
© www.tut.com ®

Nothing but green lights ahead, Eric. You know, because of your status.
yea I know something never change....
Here is your couple's love horoscope
If there's a problem that just won't go away, you may want to suggest taking it up with an outsider. It doesn't have to be a therapist -- a good friend of both of you might be able to hear both sides impartially.
Oh sure ask a friend for help... I GOT to show you what I found as I got up to chant this morning... ====>>>>>>
WOW... SOOO MUCH POWER!!!! I sat there vibrating for hours!!!

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.


THE ART OF GRATITUDE

follow three rules to artfully create a masterpiece of Gratitude:
1. All shapes are self contained. Beginning to End. Seamless.
2. Space exists between all Shapes.
3. Go with the Flow.

***

Go Gratitude!

***

the art of gratitude is respecting natures laws to
create inspired time with flow and ease.
In one motion, Gratitude honors all three rules above. amazing.

***

"The essence of all beautiful art, all great art, is Gratitude" - Nietzsche
***

above is a personal piece of "Gratitude Art".
upon closer examination you will discover space between
each completed shape, whether simple or intricate.
my secret? go with the flow of Now and let the message emerge. enjoy!
as you feel inspired, take a few moments to create a masterpiece of your own!
be centered in Gratitude and remember -
1. shape 2. space 3. flow...now GO!

Thursday, March 29, 2007

cool stuff

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What now?
It's really wild again . . . like speeding up ... I ran into Dr Nord again yesterday. I knew he was ready to chat again, walking down the stairs with me instead of taking the elevator like he usually does. He had some ideas about what I could do with the Netlogo model. It's kinda funny for me, because the model seems more like a game or a toy compared to the river models I use . . . but that's really perfect since I can really do my engineering in the Management College. Like Dean Katz' first said: "Social Engineer"
What does this all feel like?
It is exciting and powerful!!!
What about last night?
I didn't chant, but I had this really powerful vivid dream. I met with the President about some Patent I think. She was so thrilled about it she brought me around with her all day so we could chat and all between her meetings. It really got weird because she started confiding in me about all the issues she was dealing with. It must have been the consciousness patent as she had me redesigning all sorts of stuff with her staff. But then the other stuff we talked about was really deep and serious. When I woke I grabbed the pad next to my bed and filled three pages about it. . . I guess I'll write it all here sooner or later. . .
What else?
I know I'm just pushing things again. Like what better thing to get into NETLOGO! Some simple model I can build to engineer my research and link up all the social sciences. What else would an engineer want to do anyway . . .
What about the feelings
It feels great, energizing and exciting. . . I hate sorta wondering and waiting. But then when I feel the changes I make I get so pumped up and push all kinds of things. Like I got some Astro thing in the email this morning again... It was Chinese this time-- so I'm the Dragon!
Big Surprise!!

Characteristics of a Dragon

Idealistic and proud, the Dragon is someone you want around when something big needs to be done. They think in large terms and dream big dreams. They are direct and up front, always letting you know what is on their mind. Dragon is a karmic sign, which means they will experience more than a few extreme highs and lows in their lives. The downside to the Dragon is that some are quixotic, i.e., wildly unrealistic with their big plans, while others are simply all talk or show and no action. Flattery will get you nowhere with the mighty Dragon; they expect worship. Nevertheless, the Dragon is the sign of luck, and we certainly want them on our side.


I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Chant time

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What up?
I AM!!! What's up with the moon or something... there is just too much power pumping through me... I flip over again again see the clock 10.36pm ... 10.56 .... 11.01 now.... Uhg!!!

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

When it rains. . . lol . . .

8:36 AM Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

TUT... A Note from the Universe
You live in Hollywood. You dream of acting; of thrilling audiences; of having the best roles. Eric, I'm here to tell you that you can have what you want, if you make thrilling audiences your end result, not your roles.

You live in Timbuktu. You dream of living in opulence and splendor; of being financially free to pursue all that stirs your heart; of buying low, selling high, writing best sellers, and sitting with Oprah. You can have this too, if you make financial freedom and a happy heart your end result, not your trading, writing, or schmoozing.

You live in Tampa. You dream of rocking the world; that you will Change Everything; that you will be in all the right places at all the right times. Yes! I can see it now, if you make Change Everything your end result, and don't mess with the cursed "hows."

It's easy, Eric, simply understand that your dream, the end result, is far bigger and more important than any of the steps you think you have to take. From a physical perspective, you simply can't know all that's involved. Your idea of the right steps may not be the best way for your dream to come true. They may even work against you.

With your end result clear, take every step that emotionally calls to you, but do not make any of them how your dream will come true. Trust the Universe to do its part, to pick the players and orchestrate the "hows," yet give it a pallet to choose from by passionately doing the things that feel right. Not attaching your hopes and expectations to these steps, only to the end, the dream, thy kingdom come.

Give my regards to Oprah, what a dear -
The Universe
It's so funny when things come in to reinforce everything that I am. Like what else could I do?
Dear Eric, Mars is now in alignment with dreamy Neptune, creating a sensitive and spiritual astrological aspect. Mars conjunct Neptune is a great time for active imagination, creativity and anything to do with healing. Master astrologer Jeff Jawer advises, “Be inspired in everything you do … the universe is supporting you now.”
Yes, what's new I know. . . . when it rains it really pours... I mean where do these things come from??? How come they all land at once???
Dear Eric, Here is your horoscope for Tuesday, March 27:
You've got nothing to lose and everything to gain when it comes to calling someone's bluff. In the process, you'll realize how low the stakes were in the first place. Could it be that you're done playing games?
I hope so . . . never been much of a player. Course some people thrive on that . . . lol . . . bummer
Dear Eric, Here is your couple's love horoscope for Tuesday, March 27:
It's one of those days when you need to be more tolerant of your partner's little foibles. It might be too easy for you to let your honesty appear as resentment. A better time to discuss these matters is coming soon.
I know, I know, I'm always too honest . . . even my Horoscope tells me . . . lol . . . figures, and you know if you are conscious and ready with your heart not just your mind, you will never find resentment, but only Love and Bliss . . . Like I always find bliss everywhere . . . I better just SHUT MY EYES . . . lol, I don't have time for any more. . . LOL ;-D
8PM What else happened today
I found out that I had to register for the next semester. I mean nothing else is going on so I better plan something! lol . . . Oh so anyway the next degree I signed up for is only offering classes I already took for the summer. Both teachers have teased me about teaching it with them. . . believe that when I see it. So anyway, I got all registered for the Fall but nothing over the summer. So I need to make up 6 credits of research again. Last summer I made up 4 credits and still plan to rewrite the paper I wrote.

I could roll the revisions into another summer but today I went to another Discussion Group.
Yes What happened there?
Of course at the end of it Dr Nord and Allison got into a discussion about this model that I looked at last night . . . WHO ME play with Models from Northwestern??? Naaa... hold it that was really weird!
What's the point?
Oh so since it was Dr. Nord who's teaching in my next program too, I figured we might be able to do some cool research this summer together, so I sent them a little write up about the model and how I need to find 6 credits for the summer . . . WHO ME Spontaneously throw ideas together to create something new . . . lol . . . What's really funny is that it might be something really cool for me to get into . . . modeling people and complexity systems sounds like a neat change from rainfall and rivers.
Now, What does this all FEEL like?
I knew you would ask that sooner or later. . . well besides the weird puns and synchronization in just the writing and notes above. . . . I mean I just went to get the links and laughed about finding Northwestern . . . its' really funny how I'm pushed in the same directions over and over again.
What about the feelings. you feel pushed, what is that like?
It really feels kinda cool. I love when the synchronicities come out over and over again. Like last night I didn't want to get up to chant, but when I woke and saw the clock 1:03am. . . ugh, I knew I had too . . . kinda early I figured. . . but then when I was done and saw it again 3:03am; I just gave up on arguing. . . I mean like all the weird pieces that fell together today it's just such an awesome feeling!

I forgot all about the next term and finding classes. And when I talked to the director and he said how the summer was a bummer. Teaching would do nothing for me in credit hours. I really had no idea what I could do. WOW VACATION time again!!!! I went to Oregon for a month last time!!! ;-D that's a cool idea.

Oh but the spontaneous synchronicty that fell together through the day was even more thrilling. I know I am all about making the world change and I know I might have to do it all by myself . . . I mean not many people sign up for this kinda thing, like flying motorcycles and bombs and all like me . . . OH I was telling someone about that the other day, how they wanted to try me as an adult in NJ. Never happened before. . . lol . . . lucky my dad had the buck$$ for the attorney and psycho stuff! Then that other gang I fought in high school did a motorcycle job just like me after I left. lol . . . and was put in prison after the surgery and all from his accident.

Ego ego ego, got to be badder than all the rest. Shit no one would have known about the job if I hadn't dropped the bike . . . while this airhead used a GUN!!! Course I didn't break a bone either, and I bet he had to do 110 mph too since that was in the news article . . . fool lost in the ego corruption of the world, so many people just don't know any better!
What about feelings, you are rambling again. . .
I AM thrilled and very happy how YOUR Spontaneous Light Creates new steps before me. It's so awesome to stop and remember how I just float through the day doing exactly what YOU open for me . . . no fear, no questions . . . lol . . . no thought! Just Love and Bliss, feeling the Divine Moment as a Gift and Doing exactly what I do best . . . I love the moment and Share all that I can . . . lol . . . wondering what time I have left and what else I can do. . . as if i could ever do anything else

Course when I got to the group they had a laptop and projector that they were clueless about using so I had to turn on that for them too . . . lol . . . STILL I'm always in the middle, right there with whoever is running it all! Someday someone will be real enough to see this truth and share it all with me! I still feel the joy and bliss of that moment!!!! Like it's now already! Hum, time for All Natural Vanilla Byers and Organic Fruit . . . YUM!!!

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.
paralyzed by Jeff Anderson

I believe in miracles.
I believe in the God that saved the Universe.
To live this life without you, I could think of nothing worse.
Though I can’t see you. Though I can’t touch you.
I know that you are reaching out your hand.
I will always walk in your beauty.
When I cannot see your hand I’ll trust your heart
hum, met 8 times in 6 months, 3 days

next song too... diamond in the rough by Jennifer Knapp
in a little while i got steeped in authority
heaven only knows what when wrong
when there is nothing so cruel
than to bury that jewel when it was mine all along
and I'm gonna find it

you're shining, i can see you
you're smiling, that's enough well
I'm holding onto you, like a diamond in the rough
like a diamond in the rough

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Castaneda's Journey to Ixtlan, Review by Alan Gullette

Hum, this is really a good write-up of the story and gives me a better context. I really can't count how many times people have asked if I read any of Castaneda's books and I can see why now . . . just finished "Tales of Power." I mean I still never read a book that was new, all old news. . . I recognize that the motorcycle accident "stopped the world" for me and I simply got off! Course I couldn't stay away, Being a Warrior means that the fight or challenge is never really over. Thou as we laugh and play with each new challenge I wonder more than ever. . . . Hum, am I getting lost in myself again? Developing some new perception about who I am or what I "must do?"

I guess my biggest challenge these days is just being totally free and spontaneous. It's really kinda fun and I rarely know what to do or expect any moment. Yea, gave up on expectations years ago! But anyway, as I do and create more, this gives me some clear conception of "SELF" . . . Oh it's about the Ego again. Am I finally starting to get an ego again?

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word . . . please continue to lead and guide me in this search!

What you are feeling is very good. Ego is not bad, it's really necessary for connection to others there on Earth. You started to write more about this and missed it... Go on with your walk in the Park.
Oh it's like the Omens and chats with the birds are as common as my next walk in the park. I guess that's why I love biking so much since the first mile is through the woods along the River. They are always happy to see me, often saying how long it's been since anyone noticed them. I guess I've not visited the big Oaks in a while, last time they were just thrilled that I played with Bear as I leaned on them. . . . hum, or did they feel a kiss last? I can't seem to remember?
What about the self, what's wrong with being and wanting and all?
I guess I'm really not sure? I gave up on that after the accident because Being and Wanting in the world of Lies or the world of man is dangerous, it always leads to greed and deceptions. Hum, so I guess now I need to BE and Want again since I'm not interested in man's world of greed and lies. Hum, that's right, maybe now that I'm spontaneous in the Light, being the "Luminous Being" between the Nagual and Tonal there is a proper place for being and wanting again . . . um?
What is it about Being and Wanting that is disturbing to you?
I'm not good at deciding for others. If I give the opportunity for them to decide and simply leave it alone it's more meaningful for me, and for them.
You are avoiding your responsibility. What about the world of lies and deceptions? Do you think those lost in man's world have any clue what real choice is? Do you think they are playing some stupid role that they adopted and act out like a TV show? Do they really have any conception of truth or life at all.?Remember the power of Death, facing Death is a major tool for the sorcerers, what is your feeling about Death?
I don't care, it's been meaningless for years. Like I said bye to my mom a year before she left. Or we said good-bye, so the following year was nearly meaningless. Sure she struggled and fought; but she already made her choice and it was all done already in her heart, it was just the mind and body that had to catch up. As for me . . . lol. . . I guess losing the body wasn't enough, I had to come back and lose the mind too! LOL . . . . OR lose all the connections and relationships of the mind and heart. Hum, so I kinda died twice I guess?
You've died hundreds of times, you've remembered so many lives. That connection to Source gives you another perspective on death and all that. But what the sorcerers did was use the power and position that people are locked into as a tool to break them out. . .
So am I supposed to decide things for others, or fool them with death to get them clear of something? I mean, is this something about what I need to learn, or something that I need to teach?
What you are teaching already is the Temple of God. This is beyond Death. You are connecting people to Heaven and Earth in Ways that have simply NOT been on Earth for hundreds and thousands of years. . . No one has any concept of what you are doing. They feel the power and get connected to something they barely understand. This creates greater power and control for you. You are latching people's souls to their source again. They are all connecting to you. All these lost little creatures running around on your planet are starting to come to you. It will get more and more. It's not going to get easier for a while. Especially if you continue to wait and stay alone.
I'm really never alone.
What we are talking about is your power and focus on EARTH! Not anything else you connect to anywhere else. All this magic and ether stuff is fine for your heart and such but the Earth is ALIVE too. And it's not got much help with all the energy and chaos that man's world continues to pollute it with. . . You are a living part of this Earth and as such have a very clear and specific way to share your love and joy on this Earth. The Earth NEEDS your power and truth . . . Like the Oak Tree. Your "Wanting and Being" are a direct result of this connection to the Earth. . . Like the Chant, it's YOUR actions that make all the feelings and energies real. Without the PHYSICAL ACTION, the dreams are as useless as another TV show. . . lost energy, lost minds, no real CREATION. Actions Create, not dreams about actions!
I know . . . yea so I'm the Dream Machine remember. . .
actions are what makes that real. You create things and inspire others. You press the limits. You are not here to play silly games with people, and you don't need to wait for anything. You need to simply do it. You know you can do it and you know nothing will ever stop you. This BS about waiting for someone is only hurting you, and everyone else. . . . how much clean water and old growth forest do you think is left there. I mean if people only could live with clean water and old growth there might be only enough there for one nation left, one population, one city . . .
I Love You Christ Jesus, I know it's time to get really busy again. Read and work all the time, spontaneous to the second and focused on nothing but the DREAMS AT HAND! . . . wow, so I need to get totally spontaneous without any concerns or fears or anything.
Actions!!! That's what it's all about. Your action to clear your body was real and powerful. The DNA Changed to clear pollutions, no fear there. Your actions to build patents are real and powerful, no worry there. You actions to start new businesses are REAL! You actions to Create Your PHD, are real and working!

Thank You Christ Jesus for All Your Light.
Actions are only possible Now, on Earth, physically interacting and making things happen as you Dream and Feel Inspired too. That's what is real. Wanting is not real. Wanting is not Being. Being is about Action, Wanting is inaction, unaction, non-action. . . The desire can be real, but without the Action then it is nothing.
I know I can do anything. And I know I don't need to be waiting or wanting for anything. . . since every moment is another now to acted out what I want to BE. I can see anything, so my spontaneous actions will always create, as that's who I am . . . creation is action!
Actions! Spontaneous Actions are free and fearless. . .
I know Dearest Lord Jesus Christ. . . I know I can do anything, and nothing can stop me!
Actions on Earth include BEING all that YOU ARE . . .
FULLY SPONTANEOUS means accepting all the Angels we send you,
not only those that you prefer.

I Love You Jesus Christ, please fill me with Your Spirit and Truth as I BE Your Temple to bring Your Power into all those who share with US, for the Glory of Father Son and Holy Spirit.

Castaneda's Journey to Ixtlan, Review by Alan Gullette: "The key concept is seeing, which is don Juan's version of the living, growing mystical experience of life in which there is true perception of realty and of oneself (in relationship to that reality)(etc.). In don Juan's particular terminology, seeing involves stopping the world – or the interruption of the constant flow of interpretation (internal dialog) that creates our (phenomenal) world through description in accordance with the belief system which we have been taught since childhood. This description/projection of the world as we know it involves particular conceptions of the things of the world, and the self-concept seems to be an important (but often overlooked) part of the picture. People who live in such a closed world in which there is almost no self-awareness (or any attempt to either corroborate or invalidate the belief in a "self" by openly observing the fact) are called "phantoms" by those (such as don Juan and don Genaro) who are not trapped by the world. To be able to untrap oneself, or collapse the world, one first has to question the worldview that has been assumed all along to be reality itself. For don Juan, this is accomplished by learning a different description or away of perceiving the world (the sorcerer's description). When one's conviction in one's very own "reality" (world-construct including self-conception) is shaken, it is hoped that one will catch a glimpse of the fact, the truth, the actually real world that is there beyond our projections. This is what don Juan calls seeing. Don Juan's sole concern is to help Castaneda through this process, and various techniques are taught to aid in stopping the world. There is something of a progression in the experiences Castaneda has when he is with don Juan, and don Juan unfolds the sorcerer's description in the lessons he draws from these experiences (which he takes at least some part in creating). I will discuss these experiences, lessons, and techniques, together with the development of Castaneda's understanding, in terms of seeing.

Insofar as don Juan intends almost all along to initiate Castaneda into "the path of knowledge" (which leads to seeing, not as an end but as a beginning), their entire relationship is pertinent to the study of mysticism. At first, Castaneda does not really have much of a purpose in life – he is an anthropology student interested in the ritual use of psychotropic plants among Indians. In asking don Juan to teach him about these plants and their use, he doesn't know what he's getting himself into! Don Juan's whole approach to Castaneda is very subtly geared toward helping him open up to what is real, and as such the program is tailor-made and, as one can appreciate more in Tales of Power (Castaneda's fourth book), is a work of considerable genius. In the course of mystifying and horrifying experiences, Castaneda becomes dependent on don Juan as a teacher and guide, as well as becoming aware that don Juan is a rare and very real individual.

Don Juan's "lessons" take place in the field. They are not intellectual or academic (despite Castaneda's note-taking), but are geared to awaken a part of the human being that is dormant – namely, the body, which has an innate intelligence (will) apart from the intellect (reason). In the course of these lessons, the sorcerer's worldview is revealed. The basic premise of the view concerns views: "the world of everyday life is not real, or out there, as we believe it is" but is merely a description, a view (viii). Therefore, plants are not "just" plants but are sensitive and might become malevolent if we are ungrateful fro their generosity (6, 25). Likewise, crows become more than "just" crows but are also omens, giving important indications for those to whom they are friendly (19-20, 49). And there are other ways (than crows) that a man can get "agreements from the world" – the wind in the leaves, a falling rock, a jet flying over, the "comments" of a coffee percolator, etc. (6-8). In thinking that the world is only the way we think it is (which is arrogant and involves self-importance), we prevent ourselves from appreciating the vastness and awesomeness of life and of ourselves. IN fact, the self-concept is evidently a very important part of the world-construct. In erasing or dropping personal history, one frees oneself from the encumbering thoughts of others who, purposefully or not, seek to contain one in the conception they have of one (11-16). One is not one's name, national origin, past history; one is the world about oneself at any moment – i.e., one is mysterious, unknowable, unpredictable, always new (14). The new self-concept that don Juan teaches Castaneda is that of the "hunter" or "warrior.""

Saturday, March 24, 2007

more flight school . . . lol . . .

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What's up?
I'm always so challenged. . . Yesterday I raced all over the place with meetings and more meetings and more. I biked in early to school for the first at 1pm, the 2nd was downtown at 4pm so I figured I could bike back home in time for it. Course then the first was 1-3pm so I really had to race.
yea, so what... what is really happening?
I guess after all the craziness I dropped in on Kathy and Ginny and we watched another movie. It was The Departed with all these cool actors I've seen before twisted up in cops and mobs and killing each other. It was really kinda weird and I was totally clueless what such a movie could ever mean for me . . . as if I could ever watch anything that wasn't exactly what I need . . . lol . . .

But then I got home and read through some emails and WOW!!! Now I have a clue. More twists and turns and weird stuff that I need to figure out. I guess it's nothing that I hadn't brought onto myself . . . of course . . . but the scenarios and the mix were just really out there. Of course it was after midnight when I got home so I knew I had to Chant before even trying to sleep. So again I had someone with me through this and enjoyed every second of that too. . . lol . . . another story!
What about all the twists? What does this feel like?
I know things are getting stronger all the time and the power of my actions are changing things all around. The people I met with and the circumstances were really just out in space . . . Like Michelle is thinking PhD or MD in Emery while Melissa is still trying to figure out her project for her Health Economics PhD. Michelle is not taking her MCATS while Melissa just passed her exams . . . Course I just sent them both the STARS2MAN blog about all the medical research there since neither of them have a clue what's really going on out there . . . lol . . .
What made you really feel thou?
It was about the really weird stuff . . . . not just the discussion group and the member who invited me to another group (exploring complex adaptive systems . . . UGH Tempe, AZ again, figures!!!); but also how these things all play into everything else I'm already doing. Like the movie last night was all twisted up where you never really knew what was going to happen and who was going where. I'm getting involved with so many things so related to each other. Like seeing Melissa yesterday too, and she's trying to figure out a PhD project and working part time for CUTR. I told her about meeting Ed and him laughing about the project that I since have patented.

She asked how I get to see all these directors since she heard about the meetings in the med school . . . But anyway so she's working for Ed now. I told her when I started my masters I checked into engineering too, ready to make a deal with them before I got the patent. Course Bob, the Research Dean, sent me to Ed who didn't think it was even possible . . . so I did it anyway and soon will be meeting with Tampa about really doing it too.

Then I also got a note from the Urban Center so I need to see him too about the same thing. I'm rambling again!
What is the point, where are the twists?
It's all about my dreams again. I bring all this power and focus together and move things to make what I want. Then I realized - - - or Kathy told me - - - that I don't need to be telling people too much. Like I can hold some of my cards and let things develop a bit before I try to explain how it is all . . . ordained and happening! Course she was referring to someone who read and understood everything already . . . lol . . .
What doooo yoooouuu feeeellll?????
I LOVE YOU! It's so cool to watch all these things fly into place like magic. I really try not to mess with things too much and really just watch and let things flow . . . I guess that's really what I NEED to do. I put out what I want and pulled up the power from the Earth sending it all up into God . . . what else do I need . . . . lol . . . that's what's really funny. I stopped worrying about things years ago. I mean, I sometimes get surprised or caught into things, but usually I drop them soon enough knowing it's all as IT MUST BE . . . which is usually better for me no matter how weird it gets!!!

Hum, that's what this is again. Watching the majestic dance and loving it all whether I ever understand it or not.

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.
Cmradio.net
I'm going, going gone
I'm out of this world
I'm really moving on to a world with You
I'm going, going gone
I'm out of this place
Now Heaven's in my view
I'm out of this world
Into a world with You
!!!!!
Amen!

Friday, March 23, 2007

Authentic OnLine Do-It-Yourself Tarot Readings :: Tarot.com

This Tarot Reading was printed from Tarot.com.
Expert Tarot Daily Reflection
Your Question: will eric's efforts and others make a difference in their lives?
Mar 23, 2007
Your Spread

Daily Lesson

Challenges/ Opportunities
Situation

Advice

Near Future

Spread Information:
The Daily Reflection gets straight to the point, including five key positions that will help you clearly see what you are up against, how to approach it, the lesson of the day and what will happen next for you.

Tarot.com automatically saves it for you to come back to later, share with a friend (earning Karma Coins), print out, etc.

This advice spread is a quick way to focus on resolving a problem, dilemma or issue about which you could use some wise counsel right now. Like all authentic Tarot readings, this is terrific for the kinds of problems that logic can't handle like "How do I relate to my partner who is not speaking to me?" or, "What is the best approach to take with these people now?"

This Daily Reflection is a quick way to derive insight into your current situation with an emphasis on what is happening now, as well as future probabilities and what you should do -- or not do -- next. This is an action-oriented spread useful for all occasions.



Your Interpretations

Situation: The High Priestess

© Tarot.com

POSITIONAL (MAIN) MEANING
Speak the truth from a position of neutrality and centeredness.

The card that lands in the Situation position refers to the circumstances you find yourself in with regard to your concern.

There is no need to take the actions and reactions going on around you personally. Be grateful that you still possess a strong sense of objectivity.

It takes will power to resist the urge to form opinions, take sides or sit in judgment. Keep your emotions in check as you watch the situation closely; you will discover what is really going on. You may be the only person involved in this matter who is capable of taking an objective view.

GENERAL MEANING
Traditionally called the High Priestess, this major arcana, or trump, card represents human wisdom. She can be viewed as a kind of female Pope, the ancient Egyptian Priestess of Isis, the even older snake and bird Goddesses, the Greek Goddess Persephone, or the Eve of Genesis before the Fall.

For the accused heretics who were burnt at the stake for revering her in the 14th and 15th century, she symbolized the prophecy of the return of the Holy Spirit, which was perceived as the female aspect of the Holy Trinity.

In the sequence of cards in the major arcana, the High Priestess appears as soon as the Fool decides he wants to develop his innate powers, making a move toward becoming a Magus. The High Priestess is his first teacher, representing the Inner Life and the method for contacting it, as well as the contemplative study of Nature and the Holy Mysteries.

MEANING of POSITION
The card that lands in the Situation position refers to the circumstances you find yourself in with regard to your concern.

The Situation position provides a general context for your question -- the set and setting, the politics, whatever is going on around you that might be impacting the situation or issue you are consulting the Tarot about now.

Consider the meaning of the card that lands in this position in light of the issues, people, and forces shaping your environment and circumstances. This position is about that which is true from the start -- as in the hand you are dealt.


Challenges/ Opportunities: Page of Swords

© Tarot.com

POSITIONAL (MAIN) MEANING
You have the opportunity and position to influence the thinking of those around you.

The card in the Challenges/Opportunities position reflects how you can use creativity to turn a crisis or challenge into an opportunity.

When the Page of Swords (in some decks, a Princess) is in this position, sharpen your mind and raise your intellectual and intuitive antennae. Recognize the patterns of thinking affecting those around you. You have an opportunity to influence the assumptions of those who interact with you on a daily basis.

By using new vocabulary and presenting new ideas, you can change conditions and help refine or upgrade shared goals. Raise awareness with quiet but steady input from the sidelines. The Page does not draw attention to himself. He positions himself in the world as a servant of powerful people; he or she is often the source for their better thinking. Perhaps at present your greatest strength is your humility.

GENERAL MEANING
This card is traditionally entitled the Page, but in some modern decks appears as a Princess. The traditional interpretation is about a messenger, an emissary or liaison between separate camps, charged with faithfully representing one side's communications to the other. Because of this role, we do not think of this person as a servant, but rather as a diplomat, facilitating sensitive negotiations, often under difficult conditions.

This person is acting as the eyes and ears of her patron, and so she is sometimes referred to as the Watchman. Even kings are powerless if this messenger chooses to use her access to sensitive information for her own gain, as is implied by her other name, The Spy.

She could even be working as a double agent, playing both sides against each other to serve her own agenda. Her title is really camouflage in itself, serving as protective coloration so she can move among the people unrecognized, collecting information anonymously. Her vigilance often conceals an ulterior motive. She is a watcher who must herself be watched, because she dreams of someday taking matters into her own hands, preempting the plans of her employers.

MEANING of POSITION
The card in the Challenges/Opportunities position reflects how you can use creativity to turn a crisis or challenge into an opportunity.

The Challenges/Opportunities position helps you get the best out of your situation. it reflects the cutting edge in the situation, the learning curve whereby you can turn adversity into accomplishment -- using creativity and a positive attitude.

This card can point to recurring themes in the challenges you have faced in your life -- and to opportunities that may yet present themselves. Can you think of any patterns which are returning to affect you now? If so, try to recall how you have reacted in the past. Perhaps you can see new potentials, while noticing the hidden pitfalls too. Can you imagine a different way of responding to the situation this time around?

The wisdom of this card can help you turn surprises into strengths, blind spots into windows of opportunity. Bring creativity and flexibility to the way you go about your way in the world. Your expanding capacity will become an asset and source of inspiration to all.


Advice: Seven of Swords

© Tarot.com

POSITIONAL (MAIN) MEANING
Discipline yourself to stay focused on the desired outcome and you will make your way past all competing circumstances.

The card in the Advice position suggests a course of action which will harmonize what you want with what is currently possible.

The Seven of Swords in this position suggests that deep within you already know exactly what has to happen. You know what steps to take and what order to take them in to bring about a desirable outcome in this situation.

You may have enough of an overview to see how to advance through the maze and achieve your goal. Continue to envision unobstructed success. Even as the path you are walking changes and the circumstances around you obscure your view, keep the desired outcome clear and sharp in your mind. You will quite likely reach your goal and gain tremendous self esteem in the process.

GENERAL MEANING
The Seven of this suit typically refers to mental preparedness, acquired through the use of imagination, including the rehearsing and visualizing of desired results. This card represents the positive mental habits of a natural winner. The image most often associated with this card is that of a canny warrior who has infiltrated into the enemy camp on the eve of a fateful battle, checking out their preparations and stealing their swords. Such a move is guaranteed to demoralize the enemy and undermine their performance in the upcoming confrontation.

Putting it in modern terms, one who draws this card needs to work smarter, not harder. Think long and deep, study all the angles and put yourself in the shoes of your competition. As a result, you will have such a thorough grasp of the whole situation that there will be no surprises -- and no excuses for anything but success. Skillful preparation justifies the optimism of the natural winner.

MEANING of POSITION
The card in the Advice position suggests a course of action which will harmonize what you want with what is currently possible.

The Advice position may present a new option or direction, based on a different perspective on what could be helpful to you at this time. There may be a resource you have not accessed or a new point of view that opens your eyes to a solution or remedy you hadn't considered before. Or this card may simply reaffirm something you are already doing or planning on doing. It could even reframe the "problem" in a different manner altogether!

There may be one particular aspect of your life that needs attention. This could be an attitude, an unconscious habit, or some element of the environment that is impacting the way you take care of your relationships.

By adjusting your next move to take the message of this card into consideration, you are more likely to achieve better results. Yet there are times when even the concept of "doing" is too much. Contemplate this card from the viewpoint of possible avenues for action, if any. Then just let yourself flow gently along those lines.


Daily Lesson: Seven of Cups

© Tarot.com

POSITIONAL (MAIN) MEANING
A distraction that seems to impede the progress of your ambitions is serving a balancing function right now. Be patient; your goals will be met.

The card in the Lesson position represents the personal investment or sacrifice required to derive full benefit from your current situation.

The Seven of Cups in this position says you are getting close to defining your life's mission. You are better at identifying your right livelihood and proper sphere of action than you have ever been. But you are not entirely free to steer your life in that direction. Complications or distractions seem to be slowing your progress, and you may think that they are holding you back. But what you're dealing with right now serves to keep you from sinking into self-centeredness.

Having to pay attention to external factors is helping you grow in a well-rounded way, even though progress may be a bit slower than you might like. While preferences and attractions are important, you cannot have a balanced life if you are obsessed with them. Trust that in the end, despite some necessary detours, your dearest wishes will be fulfilled.

GENERAL MEANING
The Seven of this suit typically refers to works of the imagination, the use of dreams and visions to invent a future different from the current reality. This card reminds us that our outcomes are not set in stone.

We can raise our hopes and expectations and upgrade our results. Do not be fooled by the title Fantasy which this card is sometimes given -- this card indicates the truly magical quality of awakened imagination.

MEANING of POSITION
The card in the Lesson position represents the personal investment or sacrifice required to derive full benefit from your current situation.

You have come a long way, gleaning understanding and wisdom from your experiences in life. The card in the Lesson position points to a remaining issue that holds educational value for you, or to some sacrifice you still need to make for the sake of your fulfillment.

You may have to let go of something you like, for the sake of personal development. Stubbornness or selfishness in this regard could cost you. It is crucial to acknowledge the value of your personal growth, the importance of your happiness. No matter how difficult it may be, honor whatever you are currently learning as you reaffirm a commitment to growing in your ability to live a loving life.

The Lesson position represents the Wisdom aspect of present developments. Some self-sacrifice on the part of the questioner is usually required, some personal investment called for in order to derive the full benefits from the opportunities you have to grow.


Near Future: Ten of Coins

© Tarot.com

POSITIONAL (MAIN) MEANING
Relax knowing that abundance is yours.

The card in the Near Future position indicates which way the wind is blowing with regard to your situation. If you follow the Advice card, however, you can improve on or neutralize tendencies.

With the Ten of Coins in this position, you will finally have the means to take care of your needs. Not everyone gets to be a millionaire in this lifetime, but you will be resting in the security of having enough.

No one can promise that this will endure as a permanent condition, but with proper management and long term thinking, you can reasonably aim for an endowment that will continue blessing and bestowing advantage on those who come after.

GENERAL MEANING
The Ten of this suit represents the final result of cumulative efforts -- perhaps after generations of effort -- resulting in such abundance that it directly and indirectly supports a lot of people. One layer of meaning refers to the pride of supporting your own lineage of well-loved souls.

Imagine a flow of abundant resources so abundant that you are filled with not only pride but self-respect and gratitude. Such bounty can impact the destiny of many families and generations. Nobility obligates is possessors, and the obligation must be passed down from generation to generation along with the abundance and freedom.

MEANING of POSITION
The card in the Near Future position indicates which way the wind is blowing with regard to your situation. If you follow the Advice card, however, you can improve on or neutralize tendencies.

The Near Future position points ahead to the natural consequences of actions you are now or will soon be taking. This card can give you a sense of which direction the wind is blowing. It may refer to the whole situation or merely to one aspect that is front and center for you right now. This is the card of impending events but remember -- you still have power to shape the way things turn out!

This is about what could happen soon -- following the dynamics of your attitude and natural temperament. This is not cast in stone, however. If you follow the Advice card you can improve on or neutralize difficult probabilities that may be indicated.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

12:08:07 PM

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What happened?

Last night I chanted a bit and she wanted me to get into more, I wish I did. Wednesday night I chanted all out and we DID get into it a LOT more.

WOW was that a trip, erotic and powerful. She all but jumped me through the ethers. I felt her sitting on me like the Tantra Position on 1/7/07 . . . hum? Ok on the 7th we danced a wee bit in my office and then I took her into my ritual space. We sat down opposite each other in the circle. She was sitting in the south facing north while I sat in the north facing south. Both of us were cross-legged as close as possible with our knees touching each others knees.

I guess that wasn’t close enough for me. So I took her foot, uncrossed her legs and put it behind me over my still crossed legs. And did the same thing with her other foot so they were both behind my back and her legs were around my waste. She spontaneously sat up, placing her butt in my lap and sitting up straight over my crossed legs where her breasts could go right into my face or I could easily bite her neck. My hands were supporting her back and she immediately got this big rush or energy right up through her from the center of the Earth to Heaven exactly like I feel each time I chant. That’s when I said just wait until we try this nude, and Ciera came in to talk about breaking up paints.

Wednesday night I could feel her sitting like this on top of me through most of my chant, and moving more and closer when I got into bed. We were intimate and indulging as much as we could pushing and exploring for an hour or so. Then we curled up together to sleep . . . I slept like a baby of course.

I’ve been thinking about this more and I remember sitting at the picnic table in Lake Park with our lunch and putting her legs over mine there too. I realize that we are almost always touching, close and kissing. She’s not let it get too powerful or intimate any time except at night through the ethers in our dreams. I mean after lunch at the picnic she told me how she was so fertile and then stretched out her legs/hips in front of me. Almost asking me to help!

I guess the point here is that we are obviously ready for this. And we will soon be doing a lot more together. I always feel like she could be moving in or should do this ASAP!!! But then I know she has to get clear of all this other crap first. She is doing that clearing now! She knows who is waiting for her to come home, and she knows we really do belong together. She wants a child, and I certainly will help her with that. Though I want to make sure we clear out a lot between us before conceiving. I want us to burn up a lot of hunger and desire before we get to baby making. . . Or at least I want to be sure we do a lot of practice before she gets pregnant.

I also know there are a lot of things we will be doing too . . . time to get to school!

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Fwd: Day 17 - UPSIDE OF GO(D)

UPSIDE OF GO ( D )
look for divinity in simplicity
to find God in Gratitude.
~ hidden yet openly revealed ~
as One is willing to
knew-ly view
Go
as
God
ok, luv.
what does simple Gratitude reveal
on the up-side of Go?
G - o
lift the veil, flip it over.
- d
of course! Go-d...
inverted as transparent spheres' mirror,
reflecting messages of Gratitude prove
believing IS seeing.
***
Go Gratitude!
***
as above, so below
so within, so without
Go Gratitude, so know God
***
" Gratitude arises when you accept the Wisdom of All That Is, and that
the God Essence lives in All Things, no matter what appearances may
be. Even times experienced as difficult, such as now, are bridges to
Higher Levels of Consciousness, and so carry their own blessings. Be
gratefeul that you may experience these deep changes that are
bringing great blessings to the Planet. The Love of the Source moves
in All Things - even Now! And then, as you are able to feel
gratitude for All That Is, you will find Serenity and Peace. You
will feel a deep calm, and instead of fear and anxiety reactions,
you will begin to perceive the Great Mystery and Wonder at the Heart
of the All. You will feel the Great Love in the Heart of the
Universe and you will know that All is Love, and that everything in
your life is an expression of Love in some way. When you have
allowed that recognition to open your Heart - then you will accept
the Gift of Joy. And will be able to transmit it to others. It is
within you, in your deepest Heart, waiting to emerge and be expressed! "
(Archangel Michael through Celia Fenn) -
***

***
feel free to pass along this knew view on Gratitude
*
Happy Astrological New Year!
On March 18, a powerful solar eclipse in sensitive Pisces signaled the importance of your spiritual life, so now is a great time to take a retreat or set aside time to be more contemplative. Additionally, with Pluto in a tight square to this eclipse, intensity ratcheted up and something had to be released.
Now, as the Sun enters Aries, we begin a new solar year, a new season and a new journey. Aries' pioneering spirit signals that it's time to take the initiative, express your creativity and make your move. Yet, with bold Mars held in check by an opposition to taskmaster Saturn, it is vital to be careful and thorough. Assessing your plans can be essential to your success, so don't bang your head against a closed door, but don't walk away either. Maturity helps, and so does the capacity to work hard.
Furthermore, Mars -- the planet of personal will and the ruler of Aries -- conjuncts Neptune, the planet of spirituality and illusion. Determine the difference between your fantasy life and your dreams. Ask yourself what you are willing to work for. This is an aspect of manifestation if you know how to use it.
Take advantage of the powerful Spring Equinox energies that mark the start of the Astrological New Year
Hum, I got this note about talking yesterday too... lol... we'll see, soon ...
horoscope for Wednesday, March 21:
It's the perfect time to sit down with Sweetie and really talk.
Your good energy will help ground you and make life easier for both of you, so
see if you can find a way to open them up.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

live food ? Living Energy

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

Tuesday March 20, 2007
Yesterday | TODAY | Tomorrow

Astrologically, the Spring Equinox signals the entry of the Sun into Aries, the first sign of the zodiac. The Moon is already in creative Aries and we can see unrealized potential everywhere we look. We are reminded that cycles begin with anticipation of what may unfold, yet we may have more to say about our future than we thought. Visualizing our astrological New Year is a great start, but then we must make an effort to move in that direction.

I heard something about the moon being so powerful the other night, so I knew I had to Chant. Funny I missed last night. I've not missed a night in a long time. I guess I've just been running too much and needed to take a break. Actually I don't even think I woke up last night. Usually I awake and see the clock 3:03 or something and jump up knowing the numbers are giving me the tune to play. It's not always three's, but usually is one or three and sometimes other odd combinations that inspire me.
Tuesday, March 20:
You need to be extra sure that Sweetie isn't getting frustrated with your pace -- but that doesn't mean you should speed it up! Check in with them and see if you can talk it out.
I certainly need to talk things out. No rush I guess, talking in time is fine. Course I'm kinda always talking . . . lol . . . the chatter I feel inside is always waiting for me. I seem to notice it when I need to and simply do as I do until then . . . . lol . . . I've started a search for "Live-Food combining charts" to see if I was eating things right or not. This got me reading all sorts of neat things even beyond just these horoscopes . . . lol . . .
Tuesday, March 20:
Love may not be following your timeline now -- in fact, it may seem to be taking its own sweet time. You know what they say: You can't hurry it. Relax. It's much better to wait for the real thing.
It certainly is better to wait for what's real . . . . lol . . . . I've been journalling separate from this blog again. It's one thing to dream and feel so much energy, but certainly another to be posting it all out here before I really know what's happening . . . lol . . . Ok, I know, but knowing and feeling things is a lot different than them happening.
What's the difference?
I knew you would do that. Just like I knew you would ask what I didn't know. It's fine for me to feel and know, but it's also fine to let others decide on their own.
What does that have to do with it, you know that she can't get into your blog anymore. She's tried so many times with her PC locking up that she's about given up on even trying.
I know she feels things before I write them anyway . . . so there really is no difference anyway I just know it's better to play it cool and let things happen when the time is ready for them to happen. Weird kind of things all around me too. Like what am I waiting for now?
What you push out there is very strong. It usually takes a while for everything to catch up and get balanced for things to happen. You still really have no clue what you do or who you are. But that will come in time too.
I know everything in time. I'm not sure if I care or really need to or want to care. . . I've pushed so many things out there that I'll likely be waiting for a while before it all comes through fine for me. It's kinda weird some times because I always feel like i have more to do. But then I see how what I do keeps going and going for so long, that if I do too much . . . lol . . . that's just too weird!
What now?
I read more and study more and more. It's really kinda like a game to me sometimes. Like this is all really nothing new to me, but somehow I get some feeling and authority to do and saw more. It's really kinda weird. I keep flashing into other times and places where I have to push things through . . . . lol . . . it's always like people waiting for me to do something seemingly so easy and obvious. Why do i need to do this? Why is it always so easy and obvious? I almost wonder what the whole point is sometimes. . . . But of course I know I do things that no one else can do. No one has tried, or cares to try . . . . like they would all rather just float along and do what everyone else is doing.

Shit I wonder why I can't ever seem to do what everyone else does. It's just not in me. I hate when people wait or somehow expect me to do that "normal, common, Ego, Man" thing! I usually have no clue how to do it anyway . . . lol . . . or usually just watch and wonder what they could be waiting for. Someone said to me last week that I was a walk-in. I think it means something about just arriving from somewhere else . . . . like I really never belonged here, but only showed up to make it so.

That's really typical for me too. I show up to make things happen. I instigate stuff, and introduce people and such for things to happen. They all look at me like it's my job to make it happen when they get lost in the ego or miss the boat . . . . lol . . . but of course I make things happen all the time and We can lead a horse to Water, but we can't make him drink.

So really if I show you something that resonates and tell you to make it happen. . . but you miss the boat. Well bummer! It's likely better that way since you'll likely sink the boat . . . lol. . . This reminds me of that Saint Patty's message I got the other day. So much there was right on target. Like how could someone find that or write it for me . . . . lol. . . . without already being Part of me! lol . . . life is such a wild ride. . . lol. . .

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ. Thank You for Sharing IT ALL with me so freely and allowing me to Bring this Fulfillment to You for the Glory of Father, Son and Holy Ghost, Amen.

Monday, March 19, 2007

What The Bleep!

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What did you do?
Last night Kathy called asking if I could take her shopping. She offered to buy us all dinner so I offered to bring a Movie. I read out the titles I have and she never has seen "What the Bleep." Oh cool? So I drove over and I took her in her car out shopping. Got some Chinese food. When we got back her mom sat and ate with us. I never saw her eat so much before! Then I started the Movie. I realized it was like an intro to all that Mike was talking about on the tape we saw a few days before, so I figured it was perfect for them. This movie was really also before the Secret and introduces a lot that RDJ talks about too.

Course it seemed like they both fell asleep during the movie, so I figured maybe I really needed to see it again, I left it for them to watch it again too. I had told them I really only see movies when it's time for me, and I always learn something. I described how when the Matrix came out I was getting my 2nd BS in engineering school then. And someone in class would call me Neo all the time? I certainly had no idea at the time what he was talking about, everyone always says I look like someone else . . . no biggie! But years later when Matrix 3 came out I finally watched all three of them together, and I totally cracked up. Sure I always feel like I am chasing the white rabbit down the rabbit hole . . . lol. . . just like last night, it's all about "how far down the rabbit hole do I want to go."
What did it really feel like?
I guess it was really all old news. Everything is about my choices, do I want to live in Love and react to everything in Love and see only Love in Everything. Can I stay on this higher path and only feel what I want to feel inside! . . . lol . . . reminds me of what Dr. Miceal Ledwith said how positive thinking is like a shiny thin layer of positive power over a great big mass of negative trash . . . lol . . . So many people live there, never really using positive thinking at all.
What's the point, go on . . .
I was thinking about how much negativity I still have? I mean I still think of the weirdest things and flash into the most obscene violent solution to things.
What do you focus on, or what happens with this?
I can recognize when my mind runs off with some obscene scenario for "resolving" something . . . BOOM!!! But I always just trash it. I avoid thinking of it in detail or just remove the energy. I figure it's like left-overs from before my accident. Back then I would follow these scenario's to control everything and everyone. It was easy to use all that whenever I wanted to. But now I really just pay no attention to it. Sometimes I wonder if it is still inside of me and what I can do to burn the rest of it out. Hum, like last night I was chanting (WOW REAL POWER again) and I kept getting distracted by some ghost or something evil out of place in front of me.

Finally I realized it was just Bear sitting on the pillow in front of me, not necessarily evil, but something different that I didn't recognize at first. I mean I never get to look at or experience any evil spirits or ghosts or anything since they are obviously just terrified of me. This makes me wonder about other things I must have done in past lives. I mean as a kid I never worried about the explosives or anything even when I heard about people blowing up hands and losing eyes. I really was no different than any of them, except that I never made any mistakes and was always in total control of that stuff.
What did this make you feel now?
I guess I felt like the pirate ships I saw in Black Mountain and all how I must have been playing with this power since time began. I'm always the Viking or Pirate or explorer cutting the new turf and doing things no one will ever do. So I guess I must have been really powerful and violent a lot of times over the years. Hum, I can't even remember how many times I've had my life threatened, not just the drugs and explosives as a kid, but also from big marines and all sorts of freaky people since then. lol . . . I guess I even remember one time going to Ybor and just "my look" or maybe how I'm always dancing with the babes on the dance floor; had this big ugly skin head wanting to beat me senseless. Course I knew it the moment I saw him and made my way into the next club to dance . . . course always the prettiest babes are out dancing since they want everyone looking at them.
What's the point, you're rambling again . .
I was wondering if I needed to resolve or bring out something else that I did or carry some negativity with. I remember way back with Sally getting the last angry kid out of me, who was harassed by his dad about playing catch. Course I wasn't even 5 yet and forgiving and releasing my dad, and his dad, and his dad was like the last thing I could find years ago when I did that. And then with doing the Breathing to release with Mike was nearly useless, nothing came out. I did fill out one form that Sunday night to release something, and it might be fun to work that one out, but I'm not sure it's really significant . . . . and it's certainly nothing violent or as far out as the explosives and such.
What does that make you feel now?
I guess I'm done with all that too. I'm sure I can still make some killer . . . oops . . . no pun intended . . . but I really have no need, desire or use. And so whenever I get a little flash about "OH do I know how to deal with this asshole" . . . into some vivid scenario of making him into dust; I really just brush it off as useless gibberish and move on. I never focus there, and never get into the emotions or desire associated with it. I guess revenge is about dead, grief, sorrow, worries. . . naa I still worry a bit, or some of these last inside me long enough to recognize the feelings. But it's certainly not stuff that stays very long. Hum, might want to explore this a bit more . . . hum, maybe I could do that with someone who really inspires powerful emotions in me . . . Hum, Maybe!

Funny I dropped in on Sharon today to chat. Wanted to ask her about some legal stuff, but she immediately asked about someone coming back. Hum, sorta something there, guess I need to talk about that too! No biggie. Oh and Michelle finally decided to go to Emery in Boston. Evidently the best school for it . . . whatever it is she's PhDing into . . . lol. . .

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ. Thanks for your Love and Light Amen!