Finding more POWER:

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of The Word!

What now?

There is really too much happening again. I'm getting too charged up. . .

I had written some powerful emails this morning. Equan asked me to go over his letter for FSU. He went there last week and loves the place. So he wants me to help him get into College. Wow, I hope I can do that for Christopher. I don't think Emily will want my help, but who knows.

So he gave me the first questions and a few line he wrote. So I added some questions to it and sent it back. Soon I read over a page or so, just complimenting his efforts and making suggestions to expand his work. He seemed to get worried that I wasn't editing it too much. I would break up his long sentences and ask for more details. So he started to get worried that it was too personal and such.

I told him how the college would see this. He's being honest and direct sharing real issues with courage and dignity. So he kept writing.

Last night he sent them to me again while i was in my office at USF. He wanted to meet instead of emails of chat anymore. So I stopped by to see him. He had two pages now. Really serious stuff about his father and such. He didn't meet his father until he was 9 years old. While Chris about left his fatehr at 9. . .

I was really honored to help him and review all this stuff with him. This morning I had another copy. So I asked Keith to help too. Keith is such a good editor. I commented about Andrew and Keith immediately siad how I shouldn't talk with what up with Emily and Chris. So I told him more about it and he realized it was more of God's work than anything I did. He still bragged about Andrew, while I think Andrew just manipulates and sneaks around to take whatever he can.

I went out for a SMA meeting and brought some business cards for Land Development and Patents. It was a really good meeting. Talking about finishing the class project and then starting patent development businesses. It was really kinda awesome!

So when I got home I was wondering what I would have to deal with now. Keith was out and Andrew would likely be home. I walked in and all the lights and fans and AC was on. And no one was there. Reminded me of Dan turning everything on to spite me, so he could sit comfy on the couch watching TV. So I got pissed Of course.

I shut everything off. . . Windows were open with the AC again. No one ever respects anything here, I feel like such a fool trying to help people.

So ouside I found Andrew with his buddy on their smoking chairs hidding around the side. He jumped up as soon as I saw them and I started yelling at him. He doesn't respect anything I say, he doesn't respect any of my property. He's a spoiled little brat who just uses and lies. Course he said his dad told him he could turn on the AC. yea right!!

Ok so I called Keith on the phone and asked him about the AC. He told him to close all the windows before turning on the AC. Wow, so Andrew didn't lie. What a surprise. Well I guess I know Andrew is really a good kid. He just has this arrogent gotta be cool BS fucking him up all the time. Like when Andrew got serious about the contract for his dad. He's really smart and good about this stuff. But he just has no respect for me.

Course I'm the one who asked him about staying in my house. And working and grades. But he's not been able to keep up with that for more than a week at a time. Well maybe a few days, and then he's doing something he shouldn't again.

I keep telling Keith that this energy stuff is really serious and getting all these negative distraction are really hurting us. I mean I will never get anything done here if all this crap keeps coming up in my face. I certainly wont let anyone in my house again. I just can't deal with all the extra crap it brings. I mean it's great when Andrew cut veggies and helps out. And I'm thrilled to see Keith taking the garbage out. . .

I mean having real people that respect the space and carry some weight is LIGHT YEARS ahead of poor Dan that never finished anything. But these little gestures burn up in the smoke of the drinking, drugs and other headaches. . . Which really sucks. Cause I'm likely never going to bring anyone to my house now. . .

Guess I'll invite people over to chant and teach and stuff. . . But I can't imagine ever wanting a roommate again!

That kinda sucks.
And you know sunday at church Jerry spoke about reaching out to others and helping people. And I thought abotu how Keith's "bimbo & booze" thing could really be reaching out to help people. But how can we help out neighbor with the speak of dust in their eye, if we still have a bid log in our own eyes. . .

So what right do I have to try to help anyone either, if I can't deal with little shit like trash and windows. Course common courtousy and respect of the property is kinda expected. But if I pull someone out of the toilet, I need to accept getting some shit on my hands. Wow, poor Emily's room... I really will have tons of shit to clean up there.

Oh well live and learn!!!

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ. Please lead and guide me to your Grace Love and wisdom! Amen.