12:10:02 PM

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What

Ugh, I read the 1/23/07 stuff over and over again about her daughter . . . . OUR DAUGHTER . . . it is really just so cool and real. I love to read it over and over. Ciera is there sitting with me each time, laughing about it as if she were experiencing it again as I read it. I guess these kids coming through now are so strong and connected to things, they should really feel any time someone thinks or says there name anywhere. I mean it's ALL GOD anyway. So when I feel the love and joy that Ciera shared with me, I'm really loving her in God. And since she's in GOD all the more anyway, she likely knows and feels everything I do.

Kinda neato cool stuff. On Wednesday, September 27, 2006 I journalled about the Tantra connection with Lyn some more. It actually happened on 9/24 but I wrote about it more on the 27th. And now I realize that she broke it 1/23 and then I broke it 1/24. . . almost 4 months exactly to the minute.

AND NOW that bug in my throat is back. Like the piece of her that didn't fit right at the very beginning is back again caught in my throat. I wondered if it was her mom or john that was still caught in her and making me sick . . . then I thought it might be something that will leave me when she really leaves. Course so now I don't know if I want to get it out or keep it close. Lol. . . crazy world… Last night chanting again she wanted to get in and has tried a number of times. I've been tempted and got little tastes a few times, but I don't want to. Sure I can really love her and everything could really be incredible for us. But now it's more on my terms instead of hers. Shit there aint any man out there anywhere better for a child than me. And for a single lady with a child it's even harder to even get into a good relationship; let alone find someone great for the child too.

Yes I know all about Love and truth and all. But I also realize that the 2 months she dreamed about me made our next month really powerful. So if I give her another month off to find out what's real for herself . . . no sneaking out to visit me at night. Then she'll really be ready for anything then. I still wonder about blogging because I feel like she needs to read this about her daughter.

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.