The American Way

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What do you feel?

I start reading this all again and realize how I refer to sections that I've not posted here yet. I Blog and Journal and post a lot of emails too. I try to link them all together here, but if you're not on a dozen lists and able to click from website to website you will really have no clue what I'm talking about a lot of the time.

What's wrong with that? Didn't you just say you made things too easy for people? It's great to see you do have something of a challenge here for people. Let them search and study. That's what people need to do to learn and grow. People take Freebies for granted and never grow from them, they simply get lazy and co-dependent on more freebies. It's kinda sad how easy it is for people to get so lazy. Like America the great welfare state. . . Course the whole greed centered culture teaches people to be lazy, rely on corrupt corporations and politicians for everything so people just become useless consumers adding to other's greed.

I know that's what I really need to be writing about. I have to get back to my studies and read more about things to complete the research paper for John.

What about the negotiations?

Oh, I was feeling how much that was the fundamental element I was looking for. People base their relationships and interactions on some perceived goal or personal gain they can obtain. It's like people interact only if they are able to find a motive and benefit from the interactions. I guess this is really the greed and corruption mentality that people are programmed with, since I normally will interact with anyone who crossed my path. I guess I've become a little more conscious that just because people cross my path and ask for something, does not necessarily mean they are entitled to anything from me . . . .

But still I tend to give all the time anyway, to anyone who gets close enough to ask, whether it is in my best interests or not. I guess that's why I decided to get more clear about what I wanted and needed. It's no use living and creating all the time if I don't bring and attract the things that inspire and help me to grow to create better. But then I still trust people and accept anyone who crosses my path . . . lol . . . even to my detriment. Though I think I've been getting more discerning, and making more effort to connect to what attracts me and avoid what doesn't. . .

What about the negotiations?

I guess I felt I needed to go over all this with Dr. Cohen. Course that means starting from ground zero and explaining as much as possible. Though that always intimidates me. Funny, like even last night on the phone when someone asked questions that led me to stories of my past, I tended to avoid it . . . while in fact I started telling her stories that I already had told her earlier. She even liked it, since it was confirming and giving her better grounding into my past and the power I carry and know is there. I always feel embarrassed with the old war stories, even after I realized she had heard it before. I guess it's gotten to the point that I can not defer to readings as much any more. She's catching up to my NOW, and it's more about simply BEing than remembering and piecing things together.

What about the Negotiations, you are rambling off again.

I guess I felt how my whole research project was about negotiating a Phd out of the school. And everything that I am doing is geared to that. Not simply the Phd, but the methods and procedures that I've created for them. It's all about who I am. Like the very first class I took was "Leadership and Teams" where I was redesigning the Patent Process to make it easier for people to develop and succeed with new ideas. The systems are not designed for totally new ideas, they only want things that add to the existing corruptions to strengthen the monopolies and greed there. While Creations is all about new stuff and getting out of their box.

Where are you going with this?

I guess I've gone full circle again. I started off telling them how to do it all. And now I'm simply doing it. By presenting my patents to classes now and negotiating their commitment where I can develop something completely new and innovative, I'm really doing what they told me I couldn't do when I started. It reminds me of the CUTR dude, sitting in his arrogance "no new transportation system is possible" we can only survive with the car and the highway with these major industrial monopolies that control our culture and way of life . . . anything beyond that is simply not possible . . . lol . . . sure, I got the patent anyway . . .

oh "not possible" lol . . . sounds like my name is all over it . . . like kissing in kindergarten, or earning thousands selling candy and drugs to spoiled little yuppies . . . lol . . . no one can do that, it's not possible . . . or throwing lightning bolts. . . "not possible" . . . lol . . .

Oh weirdness again. I was in the shower and noticed on the side of the tub what looked like black smoke stains on the sides. Course I hadn't any candles in there or anything. Nor have I been covered with grease or dirt that would leave such stains. Oh well, so I got out the soup and cleaned them off. Then another time after an incredible chant and erotic night I got into the tub and sat down to relax. I love the hot water beating down onto my head and always feel it as a clearing. I sounded out some strong Words of intention and gratitude for God. . .

Strong powerful vibrations deep into the earth. I opened my eyes again and there on the tub were these black smoke stains outlining where my thighs were against the tub . . . Oh that explains it . . . The Power of the Word . . . lol . . . my old friends . . . lol . . . here we go again . . . lol. . . "No mater what happens next I'm ready... Dear Father, Shine Your Light on me... I pray for forgiveness, let my heart receive. . . today, is the day, I'm ready" Circle of Fire CD, "I'm ready" by Cari Cole playing now off my PC! (lol... sent a few of these songs to Someone )

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ Please fill me with You Spirit to Fulfill the Glory of Fatehr Son and Holy Ghost, Amen.