10:35:45 PM

I always connect to kids. It's real and easy. They know it too. I enjoy it too instead of feeling some lost stranger that has no clue that they are constantly spilling their energy all over the place. A child recognizes me, like Lyn did the first time we met. It's obvious and clear we are connected and we both recognize it. Ciera knew she had met her match when we first met. It was funny here Sunday 1/7/07 after we biked all around and played in the river and drumming in the hammock. We went into my house and I got out Christopher's drawing set with all the colors and paints. I had set out a table in the living room again and got out paper for Ciera to draw and color while we were inside.

I started a bit with her, scribbling some colors but soon was off with Lyn in my office. We had so much to share as I've written about before. Course she did some belly dancing and aerobics, not letting me catch her with my camera . . . and then the three little steps we shared dancing in my office . . . too much power already . . . why do people have to fear the power of total bliss ? . . . Lol . . . So anyway after we sat in my circle and spontaneously got into a Tantra position . . . Ciera came in. "Oh look and see how I can break up all this paint into the floor."

OOPS, I forgot about Ciera. And she knew it too. She's been down this road all her life. But of course now she's met her match, NOW. Shit, I barely had anytime alone with her mom either, so I should have known . . . OBVIOUSLY, neither one of them has ever been Really Loved by a man, any man maybe. And so I should have had the sense to keep Ciera involved all along. Daaa! My fault, no problem, I can fix anything!

What did you do?

"Oh wow, are you hungry Ciera?" Course easy question there . . . and I stood up and picked her up in my arms walking out into the kitchen . . .

"So what do you like to eat for dinner?" . . . fish . . .

"Great, so can you help me cook some fish for dinner?"

Immediately Ciera was the center of attention again. I set her on the high office chair I have in there and rolled her up to the stove next to me. She was on her throne in charge of everything again. It was so cute. She was just beaming. The heck with making dinner, or helping in the kitchen, she was in charge, and she loved it. Everything was up to her, and she even had the master of the house escorting her around . . . lol, it was just so cute to see the expression on her face . . . So I rolled her up to the freezer.

"What kinda fish do you like best?" and I showed her this bag and that bag. Lol . . . obviously she never has cooked dinner before, nor has she ever had a choice about fish, she didn't really seem to even know there were different kinds of fish. . . . Not that it mattered of course, it was HER CHOICE! That's what was important she was making dinner! All the power and focus in the house was on her!

8:59:21 PM "In the name of Love, One man in the name of love… one man come on a barbed wired fence, one man he resist… In the name of Love, One man in the name of love… In the name of Love, One man in the name of love…"

Thank You Jesus, I'm here answering your questions for you, NO ONE ELSE….

Good go on with the fish.

So I think she saw a picture she liked and picked some fish to cook. I grabbed out the bag of veggies to go with it and she didn't care for that. "Oh that's ok, we need to roll you back over to the stove." It's so easy to distract kids with love, I guess it's something about my truth and sincerity that they can feel and know, that is what makes it so easy for me . . . lol . . . no big deal if you are conscious and for real . . . lol . . .

Because I have the time of my life… I never felt this way before, and I sware it's the truth, and owe it all to you… Club .977

I know thanks Jesus Chirst, you are just so good to me…

Yes good, What happened next?

I started the stove and dropped the frozen fish into the pan. Then I told her she needed to turn it and asked her what she wanted to use to cook the fish. I opened the drawer in front of her. She's on this "throne" . . . like it's a drafters working chair, up really high with a foot bar on the bottom and light-blue cushioned seat. She's about sitting up to the kitchen counter where everything there is just within her reach.

I realize now that her mom basically had no clue about this. She was all embarrassed about the broken paints and was sitting on the floor across the room meticulously picking up the tiny fragments of paint to fit them all back into the boxes they came in. Now Ciera is queen in charge of dinner and leading everything in the household so she grabbed out the biggest implement she could find in the drawer. It's funny how I feel the love and joy of this moment like it just happened a second ago. . .

Yes Son, exactly the point. Whenever you say to people that you connect and relate to children at another level, they really have no idea what you really mean. The Nurses in the NICU know, and will remember you in their death beds. What happened next?

I get it. Ciera raised up this big shiny whisk, she knew she found her scepter waving it at me like I was getting knighted . . . showing her approval for my efforts to show her how Life in Love is meant to be. "Oh, that's for making pancakes in the morning . . . hum, next time you visit and we can get up early to make something yummy and I can show you how it works . . . but now we need one of these flat – fish flipping – kinda things."

It was so cute, I really about chocked on this one. I glanced over at her mom to see if I put my foot in my mouth again. I'm too spontaneous some times, loves does that to you . . . She never noticed still face down into paint ground into the carpet . . . I was lucky. I guess I was luckier that Ciera knew what pancakes were and maybe even liked them so she could wait for that at another time, no problem. She then found a flat boring scepter and was happy to be trying to flip the fish.

9:22:17 PM "so in love with you" Janet Jackson "when I think of you" on Club 977 the 80's channel. Go on, what happened next. . .

I know I never wrote about this before, so to be there again in this is really kinda fun for me now. Though I'm trying not to even connect to Ciera who often would come into my Chant with Lyn riding the silver chords . . . though I realized today she was born about the time I said goodbye to Emily in court, realizing God wanted me to move on. . . accepting the Truth! So she might be more connected to me than Lyn even!

Oh so anyway Ciera was busy at work cooking fish. Flip, flip, flip, she was focused and clear about this. But then she flipped it out of the pan once and looked terrified like she's had her head chewed off before for being bad. "Opps, no biggie;" I laughed and put it back into the pot "It'll still taste great, cause you’re such a good cook" and dropped in spices and veggies and such for her to keep flipping. She was in charge, making dinner, all by herself. And she could do no wrong; which really was a surprise to her, all smiles ear to ear in total control loving ever second of it.

"Oh look into my eyes Ciera, you need to go slower now and be more careful. This is getting really hot and each time you flip you are splashing all over and that tiny drop that splashesd on you will really be hot and hurt a lot. I told you how this works and you need to listen to me and be more careful because once you get burned no one is going to be able to stop it from hurting. Yelling for your mom won't help you then, so please be careful."

I think her mom was about done then and told me I needed to get out a vacuum to get the last of the paint up from the carpet.

"Oh time to set the table."

"Ciera, do you think your mom can help you set the table?"

Wow, she jumped right off her throne. I thought she would want to eat up there or something. But that was cool she was ready to set the table, and maybe mom could help. But she knew how to do that already. She knew she was still in charge . . . that was just too cute too. Her mom could help her!