who is in truth now?
Friday, May 13, 2005
10:43:37 AM
Wij called this morning, because she felt like my email was kinda sad where I wasn't real about letting Amir deal with her own problems. She was really sweet and nice yesterday to chat with and again today. She reassured me and made things nice. But I guess I need to write out what really happenedWrite out all the details as best as you can remember right now.
So it started last week. I had not slept one night as I worked to complete a few papers for a class. Got an A in that class! So then I got out and called Amir before I got home, she told me to just go home and sleep and that we could get together on Thursday. She wanted to go see Serge Runningwolf at Mary's store Thursday night at 7pm.
Thursday when she called she told me her car was dead and she was losing her Son Dave and wanted to take him out for dinner and get him some cloths. So I called Christen to say I would miss our group meeting because a friend had a dead car and needed to go get her Son.
I drove off to get them. I picked up Amir and then drove off to get Dave at her some Michael's house. Dave is about 16 now, 6'-6" or so, and not able to finish high school. He was in CA with Jeff where Dave was pushed forward a grade. But here in Brandon they wouldn't accept it and wanted to push him back again. So he just never got into school, and is supposed to get his GED. Well whatever.
So we drove off, and he wasn't hungry but only wanted to get sneakers at the Mall. Ugh a mall, yucko. Only mall I ever go to is Ellington. So we drove south to Ellington. Started at the Nike Outlet, and he found a few shoes he liked under $50, but they didn't have his size. So he got a few $10 t-shirts. Wow, with Dan here flea marketing all the time, $1 shirt is normal, and that's a nice shirt, even long sleeves, but never a t-shirt.... lol.... I never said a word to them about it.
We then went to Reebok's and had no luck there either. So we went down the street to Beef o' Brady's to eat. Amir and Dave seemed to be consistently debating. She was trying to please him, but he wasn't in the mood for it. So the discussion started out ok, but slowly got into more of a debate. When we left Beef's heading home again we talked about visiting the Brandon Mall to find sneakers as he wanted to in the first place.
It seemed possible and he wasn't interested in seeing Serge but planned to visit her later during the weekend to take care of his dog. She wanted him to come home with her now, visit Serge and all too. It started to rain as we got off 1-75 heading towards his house which was just passed the mall. It was getting late and the traffic was all stopped up. We were running out of time and really had to move it out to get to see Serge in time.
Now Dave got pissed because we didn't have enough time to get his sneakers. So he started bad-mouthing Amir. Cursing and all that stuff really rough. I didn't like it, but she wasn't the nicest to him either. The trying to be sweet and please him burnt out after the first hour or so.
But now they were both talking shit. So I toke him home and let him out in the rain. He said he hated her and would never speak to her again. And we left.
I started racing to get to Mary's in time, and Amir was worried about him getting into his house. So I called him on the cell phone and he was inside already. Then I started to explain to Amir what I saw between them. She's the medicine woman trying to make her Son into an Indian too. But he doesn't see her successful, and hear's all this talk of power and control, and it's really just talking down about other people not leading or really being a strong medicine anything. I told her she needed to lead and be strong if she wanted her Son to follow. Telling him what's wrong and getting all arrogant about the great Indian and bad white-man serves no one.
It actually only offended him, because these are the people he's trying to be with and work with. I mean he even wants the Nike shoes and cloths like my own kids. The yuppy pretty crap and materialism like everyone else. And like I learned with my own kids, telling them this is all wrong and focusing on the negative energy would result in only more negatives. If she wanted to get him strong and secure, then she had to lead by example and lead the strong medicine group. And forget all the ego crap and hatred of others.
So we got to see Serge in time. And she was happy and thanked me for giving her insights into what was happening with Dave. Ok cool...
When we sat down to see Serge he said all about the same things I did. Focus on the positive and the negative will fall away. Stay clear and strong in your own truth and everything comes into line as we need. I sat directly across from Serge so he was looking in my direction a lot. Amir sat to my left and turned to look and smile at me every few words, acknowledging how Serge had said exactly what I had said earlier.
Wow, that was nice. She really heard me. And Serge confirmed it for her, so she was really actually learning something. Cool. At the end I had to ask Serge a bit about the spirits. He's done a lot of work bringing them up to the Light and helping people settling houses and areas where past deaths still had spirits around. I asked him about how I know I pull in all sorts, good and bad to bring them up to the Light. I said how I get nervous with the bad stuff sometimes.
He told me to be clear on my focus and I would only bring in what I needed.
Lol.... wow, Amir needed to hear that too.
So we left Mary's and I took her to my house to Chant. As she sat down she said something negative. No big deal, just a few words. But I stopped and repeated it to her. That's what she did all day long to Dave, little negative crap that eats away at you. Remember what Serge said, only positive in focus. Yes she smiled and understood, only positive in focus.
Wow, did she have a powerful experience in that Chant. Since the beginning I've told her it was a gift for her, but now finally she allowed it to be. It was really cool, and I was thrilled. She was finally listened to Serge, not me lol... it's the old Medicine Man's wisdom. And I took her home.
Monday she wanted to go to the flea market with Dan. So I picked her up at about 8am and we drove north. She spent over a $100 on stuff made in South America, "her Indian brother" she rationalized. Getting into the "white-man's greed" it seemed to me getting $8 jewelry she would normally make. Dan also spent $100, I just got a box of sunglasses, and with gas got close to a hundred too. Dan gave $10 for gas.
On the way home I tried to get Amir to see she wasn't in her power and needed to lead instead of bowing down so easily. Like getting Mary and Jennifer to listen to her direction more. Maybe suggest something and let them believe it's their idea. That's "white-man's manipulation" and she went on bickering about the bad white-man and wanting her Indian ways. Dan thought we were going to fight and get mad. She even resorted to insulting me and dominating the conversation almost just showing off for Dan. Big proud medicine woman knows it all.
Whatever, I took her home, Dan met her Danny who was back in town, and they talked about flea markets and fixing her car.
Later on about 6pm I was racing to pick her up again so we could see Serge again that night in Safety Harbor this time. We made it there on time, barely. And it was a good class and we all chatted with Serge. I met a lady Cathy there who was working with kids like Emily. So we got to talking after and she asked if I wanted to get coffee. So Amir, Serge and all joined us for coffee.
Of course Amir loves Serge and the whole conversation was about how bad the white-man is and all; all over again. I could see Serge was avoiding it and he left before we had anything there to eat. Amir and Cathy argued, of course. Funny, I found out earlier that day that Amir's name is actually Kathleen Marie.... wow! Course Danny said he was really a white-man too, Italian and Chinese, though he's darker skinned and looks like her Son Dave's twin.
Oh well so on the way home. I asked Amir if she wanted to help me with a bird. Danny spoke up about how he wanted to learn how to honor the bird when taking the feathers and all. I said how I had seen a big Crane dead on the side of the road. I have found the Hawk that way and also a few others and wanted her to show me how to do it all right. I had asked her the same thing after the Chant on Thursday, since there where two baby birds I found in the yard. I had them drying in the sun, but felt there was a lot more to it.
Sure let's go. Danny about fell asleep laying down in the back seat as I drove north passed Bears on I-275. Amir pulled out a cigarette, and I was afraid she would try to smoke in my truck, but she never did. We came around and headed south looking with no luck. We weren't sure we would find it. I remember it was after the bridge before I hit Bears coming south. So I turned around again. Maybe it wasn't a bird for us, they come when it's right. More negative talk in the truck of course, but I'm not arguing anymore.
I turned up and went past the bridge thinking it must be before instead of after it. Course I wasn't really thinking at all, and trying not to listen to the BS in the car. It just felt like I needed to go further. So I crossed over and came south again. Wow, there it was I found it.
So I stopped a few feet away and even backed up a bit so the headlights showed us the bird. Then I looked to Amir. She just said to go get him and put him in the truck. Ok, so I grabbed some paper and picked him up. I held it up to show her through my open door. And she just told me to put him in the back.
Wow, it was a big pretty bird. And so Danny and Amir started to talk about all these things the bird could be used for and what it all meant. After I listened for a while.... I said that I thought we were going to learn something and share the feathers.....
NO. That belongs to Amir, the big medicine lady! Oh it did; does it?
Wow did the brief conversations of light and joy shift quick! Now it was back into the toilet. She spoke about how her very first feather was a Crane feather and went on and on trying to give me the guilt trip. I really just ignored her now. Then Danny got in about how evil and bad it was for someone to take medicine from the earth that they were not ready for. And he went on and on. He even tried the BS about how it was illegal for anyone but a Medicine Person to have Crane feathers at all. So I just drove them home, not really wanting to talk at all, since it was obviously a debate and trash talk.
When we got to her house; I parked and got out. Danny jumped out and went inside and as Amir walked past me heading the same direction I asked her what are we going to do with the bird. I thought we were going to learn and share something. No she said, that's your problem.
What?
As she walked up her stairs to the closed door.... I mumbled how she was just "full of shit"
She heard me and freaked out. Yelling and screaming! Danny came running out just in time to grab her at the top of the steps as she yelled at me. They came down and continued to yell and I just got I'm my truck and left.
As I drove away wondering about this weird power trip she was on. I remembered the cigarette in my truck. That must have been her offering to the earth for the bird. Of course it wasn't including me, while I found the bird. It was a gift to me if anything. Shit they had even given up on finding it at all after our first pass. Sad sad sad. Makes me think there's a big scam going on here. So I got home and pulled my truck in backwards. I got my big scissors and climbed into the back of my truck to sit with the bird.
All I ever learned was in biology to cut off the wings at the body and lay them in the sun. But this was a BIG BIRD. Wow. So after I sat for a while I started to straighten him out like he would sit on a perch. Then I remember Amir said she would stick bird in the freezer so it was easier to skin it without the bad smell of death. This bird wasn't even stiff yet, no bad smell or anything. So I wrapped him up in a trash bag and put him in the freezer.
The next day I worried about her, but still only felt arrogance and anger from her. So I never called or anything. When Thursday came we had planned to go to Yoga together. I decided to go visit Bruce's office, which was down the street from Amir, more an excuse to visit her too. I knocked on the door four times and was getting into my truck as she came out with Danny and Dave. She started with her high and mighty, how I'm not good enough for them stuff. And I asked if we could talk alone.
She pretended like she didn't even know these guys were behind her and told Dave to go inside and went back to her preaching. I stopped her again and asked that Danny go inside too. So he did. And I told her how it was with Dave last week and how she invited me to help her and she listened and learned. Then continued with how I invited her to join me with the bird and it became a greedy power struggle instead of anyone listening and learning.
Course she got pissed then saying how I never go to her classes or learn anything from her. And she called Danny out again to help her yell at me. Just then my phone rang and it was Dr. Phillip's office. As I sat down in my truck to chat I noticed all the mosquitoes biting my ankles and decided to just leave.
Of course when I picked the phone over their bickering, they turned to go inside anyway. So I've been worried about her, lost in the greed and materialism of the world again. Funny, Monday I published all my stuff about DNA-Consciousness and everything fell apart with her.
I guess everything happens as it must, just like Wij has been telling me. So I feel like I need to write Dr. Phillips too.
Dr. Phillips,
Hi again, since you arrived here at USF several people have told me to see you. I was in Dr. Fountain's Patent class last term and learned a lot about your stem-cell research.
My research is involved with the same issues. Changing how DNA expresses from one gene to the next is a very important concept. And the labs all over the country are getting closer to understanding this. I do it already.
I'm seeing Dr. Klasko on the 29th. Can we please meet before then, I know you are getting ready to retire, and there is a lot more involved in my research than just the expression of Genes: http://www.starsusa.org/homestead/files/Minutes87.htm
Thank you for your time
Sincerely
Eric R. Weaver
813-237-3705 (home)
813-679-5195 (cell)
Mr. Budd,
It was good to chat again with you today. I've attached a PDF of my resume. I revised it a bit to provide more links like these that I'm including here for you as well.
Resume: http://home.tampabay.rr.com/engineer/resume/resume.htm
Consulting: http://home.tampabay.rr.com/engineer/professional.htm
Patent Development: http://home.tampabay.rr.com/engineer/patents.html
MBA Course work: http://www.starsusa.org/graduate.html
Project Director: http://www.starsusa.org/
Personal: http://www.starsusa.org/EricRWeaver.htm
I look forward to meeting some companies and chatting with you more about Internship Projects.
Sincerely
eric
