Saturday, December 04, 2004 12:08:08 PM

I'm not really sure what is happening, or what this is all about. But I know I'm more in control of it all than ever.

Post all this to your blog. I thought you were going to start doing all this typing right into your blog?

I guess maybe I can sooner or later, but not yet. I'm still kinda slow and distracted about all of this. Now I really have to study for a test Monday anyway.

7:48:09 PM
Picture 19 dated 4/6/87 10.53pm. I am talking about sharing with Skalkos for the first time!!! She understands how much I deal with the subliminal.... Wow, this is really intense:

• “what I need to know is why or where am I going and how will I get there”

That’s really cool to see this written here again I knew I had to read this journal again. I saw it sitting here and felt it calling my name.

What do you mean?

Its like the energy, or magnetism of the information called to me.... I mean the information that I had sitting on the edge of my dresser these past months since my summer vacation reminded me. Wow, it has been that long, I didn’t know that. So I'm going to see her again next week.

• “I know I can’t tell everyone everything and I know I need to tell them more or else they won’t listen or will lose interest. I know there must be a happy medium and I know I must find my content point where I can be open and honest about myself without being threatening or obtuse”

This is Faith By Andrew Carlton I love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ ... I love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ I love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ “This is what it means to chose your way” CMRadio.net.... wow, I wrote a prayer after the bit above.

• “I love You Lord Jesus Christ, Please Lead and Guide me to Achieve Your Love and Glory for us All. Thank you Lord Jesus Christ amen!”
• 4/14/87 12.08pm I need to stand up for what I'm doing, what’s my game plan? I need to write a game plan

Funky listening to the helicopter and Christian Rock songs while reading these Classic Rock songs I had written before. It’s really a trip doing this now.

• 4/17/87 3.42pm. Lol... 4.32pm “I'm scared I can’t tell her about anything, not what I know and feel so never what I experience. Like I don’t, can’t, just couldn’t even start to dream what could happen with USF. I hate to set limits.... but I'm not allowing full expression ((of myself)).
• 4/18/87 12.11am Lol...11.29pm “I have to learn to be comfortable with who I am”
• 4/18/87 11.55pm It’s like I’ve been a leader all my life.... now I just need to get set with myself.... find a place and attitude that is really me. I need to get the confidence to express myself fully and grow to dominate situations.... I have to come to ground with myself and dominate my own needs and desires.

Lord I Believe in You By Crystal Lewis

• 4/19/87 10.05am like everything I do affects me and my life. I know how things affect me so I've dreamed with Jesus so I could learn how to do HIS WILL as I am.
• 10.22am “highway in the light, I've found my chosen road”

The Closer I get to the Cross by: Palisade CMRadio.Net "The face of God has made me Whole, Jesus Take my life...." Lay it Down By David Bush What do you really need to talk about?

Am I asking you or are you asking me?

Son this is all about you. What are you going to do with all that you read and understand again here.

It is just really weird to read this all over again and see what I'm doing right here before my eyes.

What do you need to do to get ready for tomorrow?

I guess I'm really just nervous about seeing Dr. Skalkos now. I mean she already knows everything there is to know about me. Everything. She knows the stories about Maryanne and all the STARS – RAS stuff that Keith wants to return to town to complete. NOW, LOL..... then she knows about so very much more. And she was really working to help me out. It’s kinda freaky now that I see I'm really in the exact same place I was back then.