Wednesday, December 29, 2004 8:33:39 PM

So the year is almost over. Wow what a crazy year this has been. And I’m really not sure if it’s going to get more crazy or less crazy really soon? I’m getting into a lot of really cool things and I know I will have a lot to do and more than I understand for sure. But it’s annoying and stressful to being working 10 to 18 hours a day and have people sitting around here watching TV and goofing off all the time. I guess it’s their choice, but there is no reason to allow it if they should be doing work. And why should I let them waste this opportunity given to them to be successful and productive enough to get independent again. Dan has been going on and on about all the work he did in my house. As if I owed him something more for it? We kinda had a fight when I got home from CA, and he’s not worked since because I insulted him.

Sure he did a good job and we agreed he could stay here for an hour of work per day. But now he’s convinced that since my house is worth so much more now that our original agreement isn’t valid anymore. He chose to work over time like crazy to get everything done quickly and I should give him more in kind. I guess if my house is worth so much more, then maybe I should be charging more for people to stay here. But it was his choice, so he needed to learn from his business decision, he never asked to change our agreement. I mean I’ve had Guru’s and Shaman, and Swami’s and Doctors all staying here. Each one came for their own reasons, but each one also learned a lot from me and shared a lot. Seems to me like God sends people here for their our growth… more so than mine…

Yea, Cathy was nice to have around and Dan has been great too. But everyone who has come here did it for a reason and had specific requirements related to it. I mean Dan and Jason are giving me an hour/day towards the patents and projects I have to build. I guess I couldn’t stay outside designing and helping Dan with my patents last year so he decided to do more inside. I really needed to spend $5,000 on the new roof instead of the bathroom, carpet and tile, but Dan is 6’-3” and over 200lbs so getting him to do the roof wouldn’t be too bright. Especially since I must test another design there that I’ve still not completed, so tile work was easy for him to do since he finished my office.

Course I still haven’t had any of my patents finished and tested yet that he started almost 2 years ago. So I told Jason I needed to get them both together to layout the program here. I was getting serious annoyed by the TV on all the time. Like listening to violent crap late at night hurts!!! The hour/day is great, and Dan has done well with it except recently, and Keith wants to come here too, so I wanted everything clear with us working together. Course I’ve had doctors drive south for 8 hours to teach classes here that they get $500-$10,000 for, and then give me the same classes for free. Then I’ve been paid $200-$350/hr for giving classes too. I told Jason that the day we met. I started the conversation saying how I’d be billing him $250 for the first hour since it was essentially discussing his career if he had called me instead of me calling him.

He was cool and understood. So when I asked him to go to work with me rebuilding all my technology he was excited and really moving fast. Now he’s stopped thou? I mean he barely talked to me at all today, and even went out on Dan’s bike instead of asking me for the key to my bike that he used last time. Course he wanted to leave and go back to his uncle’s house too. But his uncle won’t let him back???

Great so I’ve invested several of my days, movies, food, and even got him contacts so he could see and work here, but now he’s trying to go before anything is finished. Worse still his uncle won’t let him back, so I wonder what else there is that I don’t know about this guy. I guess it’s really not my business but now that I think of it Christmas just passed and he got one phone call and called no one. I mean, I’ve intentionally avoided people and still got a pile of cards, calls and emails. Yea I guess he’s online all the time, but still it’s weird.

I invited him to a meeting with me at USF, and all he could say after it was that it was pathetic, no agenda, no plan, nothing accomplished. And he had no interest in helping me to get things going or resolved about it. Funny thing, today I was alone all day and called a few people about it all. Lol... I wonder, it feels like that meeting was purely for his benefit? Lol... I mean I went to see Mike again, so it was almost a no brainer for me. Course then I’ve also gotten Equan over and taken Jason to meet Trace, Tim and Scott... Lol... feels like my evaluation team, all these people who will put Jason to work and push him to his limits.

Wow, that’s exactly what I do here... I never noticed, I always push people to their limits. Like someone comes as they approach suicide and gets turned around burnt into a new thing. Wow, and I remember the Guru and Swami both were pushed to extremes. I better get more conscious about this. If I’m not comfortable and feel something needs to be changed or worked on I need to come out and say it right away.

Son, you went to school to get out and socialize more. You really need to learn a lot of things and get clear and strong into you instincts. We’ve put people in your house to get you going. You won’t get out to learn, so now you’ll get it all at home. Now you know you will need to get stronger, remember what you had to learn from Cathy. There are too many things to do and not enough time to get it all done if you goof off or miss opportunities.

time... you always tell me about time. Then you tell me to go the long way about and not look at any of the short cuts.

What do you think is happening out there in this world around you?

Well around me it’s great; I’m very busy, got some more help and maybe will be getting more relaxed about it. I mean, last night I started the meeting with Jason and Dan by saying we had to go outside. Then I asked for their copies of my house keys. Dan told me that was kinda rude and seems like a control tactic. I understand what he means now, but I was really only trying to make them realize that I’m really doing them both a big favor. And it’s simply not right to expect me to pay for this house, the food, and clean up after them too. This is not a resort or a vaction this is a JOB!!! If they see how quickly this comfy house can leave them out, they might respect and honor it more.

Yes, I’ve been giving them a hard time about leaving dishes or anything laying around and even said I would trash anything I found. I guess I need to stick to this. I mean Keith will be here soon and I remember what his house and apartment looked like. I mean when Dan first got here the very first thing I said was that I couldn’t guarantee how long he could stay because my kids could be back here tomorrow. Now if Chris looked at his room he would turn and run!

What have you told them about this?

Well I guess I told them that I can’t deal with the stress anymore. If they want to stay here they will need to do their fair share of house cleaning and buy food and such to share. Jason said for sure as soon as he gets some money, but then when he asked for directions to give Scott who was coming to get him he said he needed to get money for a passport. So I still really have no clue what’s going on here. Except that I’m really tired and need to crash out ... Thank You loving Lord Jesus Christ for your Grace Love and Wisdom, please fill my days with your light for Your Glory Amen.