11.08amMay26,2006

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What are you waiting for?

I really don't know? I guess I've got patents and proposals and businesses and all just waiting for me to act on them. Putting together things is simple. Finishing is hard. . . lol. . . I kinda see so much to do. But then I also see only me working on it all. I get help, like Suzi has been great. John too, but lost in PC freebies last night, YUCKO! Like in a Family again. Like working together with someone close. I wonder if I miss my family? I guess I know my kids are doing God's work already. They might not know it, but that's what I got them ready for. Wow, and I think about what I learned from them . . . Only enacting a tiny fraction of it still today. . . .

Why is that true Son? What are you afraid of?

I don't know. Afraid of being alone. Afraid of my own truth, of my own power? Afraid of doing too much? Or starting too much that I can't finish?

What does that mean Son?

I don't know. I've seen the sparks off my fingers . . . . Is that what I'm afraid of? The Truth about you, or me? Like I'm designed to lead others to do things, while I always try to do it myself and only seem to alienate others.

What you are writing now has been written a thousand times in a thousand ways. Each letter your type sends signals to the galaxies. Everything that is, will be effected by your next keystroke. All that exists is just a reflection of mankinds thoughts. It is all ONE, everything is connected. Like your little "patent" about consciousness. No scientist has read it. It means nothing until you apply it. If understanding unity makes you responsible for it, why haven't you enacted these solutions that you see.

I don't know I can't just tell everyone to stop and get out of your car to help me put this together so we don't need cars anymore. Like be family and community again instead of just being lost consumers.

What does that mean. What does that really mean?

I WONDER NOW, AS I wrote a novel and it disappeared... Song on the radio now: God is watching over you.

Lost consumers it the program that capitolistic mankind has now. They are all focused on some task that supports their consumerism. Not focused on life, or sharing, not community but just consuming. Little cogs in the matrix lost to love other than "thier desire" to cosume more or sustain their consumption.

What else would you expect? You are animals.

I'm still scared. So many are trapped in thier little cars zapping their brains with electronics that the cell phone industry wont allow any research into, just cogs stuck in the machine.

What you are doing is what's holding you back. Writing and sharing things stops you from doing things. And if you do them, people will get involved with you. Each meeting you have gets more people involved and excited about what you are doing. Like you feel this calling inside of you to do engineering work again. You have the pipes and people waiting to hear from you. Don't expect anyone to drop everything and run. But slow and consistent contact will make more happen than anything. You try hard and then run and hide.

Why not try hard and stay strong. Biking to see everyone all the time is very easy for you. You need to do it with no expectations. Trust who you are, be more free about it. There are a lot of those who listen and understand. So just do it. You can do more now than ever before seen. People have influenced people throughout time. You're little moments here are priceless as you see and create tomorrow.

I guess so. I feel this powerful tug to get busy.

What are you waiting for. You can't even count the things before you this weekend. And waiting on someone else wont help you any. You have clear tasks and purpose. not needs. Desires based in truth and Love. Each moment you see and clearer and stronger vision . . . of tasks at hand . . . of people of contacts of ideas . . . all sorts of issues and skills you dream of and imagine every second. But actions are slow. STOP worrying about anyone else. DO what you see inside. Nothing will stop you. Explaining youself to anyone serves no one. That dream and mission is perfect, it's clear, it's specific, and it's strong, you don't need anyone to check it, or update, or edit, you are doing it. Just do it. Forget approval and permission. DO IT.

I guess so.

What is the song saying...

I Dare you to move... live ever after.... and be true...

What does that mean for you.

I guess it's jsut more work for me. everything is just more work for me. Like all these people who never hear me. I feel like I'm talking to myself some times. I know i can change things. But I con't do it alone.

you know you are never alone.

I guess so, but it's lonely working writing and reading here alone. Changing plans and tasks every day so I can do more things that I need to do.

What is wrong with that? You want to be spontanious and trust what we do with you.

I know, but it's always so hard on me.

Why, you do as you feel, and nothing is hard at all. People respond to truth. You are such a powerful truth. People know this by what you say. You need to trust what you say and do. Stop fighting yourself and trust it. If you feel it then do it... that's who you are, that's what you want. Nothing can stop you. Stop fighting yourself, be free with it all the time.

I Pray For Jesus Christ to be in my blood and bones to make them work and grow in the truth of My Spirit and Power in Life. To express Divinity in all that I say and do, everywhere for the Glory of God Our Father Son and Holy Ghost. Amen.

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.