10:36 AM
Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!What
Lyn called to say goodbye.
What does it feel like?
It feels like a lie.
Why?
It feels like someone else telling her what to do again . . . she's not following her own bliss.
What about us telling you what to do? Is that following your bliss?
I guess that's always what you do, but I can see the truth in it and the bliss behind it all. You force me to really look at what I want, and see it in another perspective, from Your
Why did you make this capitalization?
I guess I felt something that Lyn said about facing "her Karma." She assumes that's really the only way of dealing with it. Karma has a lot of aspects and elements that make it part of our lives. Forcing things that we "assume" are necessary for the sake of karma or some other myth is really only lying to ourselves. My Chant burns up Karma! Facing something because we call it "karma" is just an excuse to avoid the truth and finding what we need to really learn. I know her mom wants her back together with John. He's got lots of money and can support them all into oblivion. Lol ... weee funnn . . . It feels more like it's her mom's Karma with him that needs to be resolved not Lyn's at all.
What happened now?10 am I went and chanted. I sent so much love and passion into Lyn that she about bounced in her seat at work. She resisted and tried to hold strong against me saying how she wanted to be cut loose. When I finished Kathy called me back. I called her as soon as I got off the phone with Lyn. Kathy told me about respecting Lyn's wishes and accepting what she needed from me. So I cut the silver chords to her right as Kathy spoke. It was really weird. Like so much fell away from me. Like my cold suddenly about disappeared, even Kathy noticed my voice changed on the phone.
Now I feel Ciera crying, she knows what's happened. John respecting and honoring Lyn or not will still do nothing for Ciera, she's three years old and it's obvious to me that no man has ever loved her or even noticed her . . . that's something that either is or it's not. You can't teach an old dog, new tricks. Lyn and John playing nice or pretending to be a real couple will never change anything for Ciera. Ciera needs real Love not some make believe fairy tail romance; lets pretend to avoid "failing" at some BS relationship that was never meant to be anyway.
Wow, and I sang my kids to sleep from birth . . . That's a real Father. . . The NICU nurses waited for me to come in after work for Emily, it was so real for them they would wait between shifts just to watch the little girl fall fast asleep. Fathers must be rare in Tampa. Chris even asked me to sing him to sleep still after a Boy Scouts meetings . . . lol… That fills me with so much joy and Love now knowing how "real love" can be, nothing to pretend or prove there. Even if they are lost now, that kinda Love lasts forever!
I guess all Loves have to go get lost and be set free before they can grow to be real enough to last forever. So whether Lyn sees or knows anything or everything . . . will really be her choice. I just hope it wont take years of Ciera suffering before she releases the lies and follows her own bliss instead of some lie about Karma or someone else's wishes for her . . . for Ciera's sake if nothing more.
What else do you feel?
I cut the chords and Lyn knows I did. At first she was glad, but now she seems to be searching for me again and again . . .
What are you doing?
I guess I'm just watching her. I know we could do anything together, and will only if she's ready. But this is something that she needs to do . . . whether it is a struggle and a fight for a few days, or weeks or years and life-times is really up to her. Forcing a square peg into a round whole is just not possible and really only hurts . . . always hurts. But everyone needs to do what they need to do. If she can't accept she made a mistake and simply move on, then she can suffer for the mistake over and over again until she forgives HERSELF. She doesn’t need to forgive him, she needs to forgive herself.
What else?
I feel all these other girls calling me. I've been locked in my office for too long. All these dreams and fantasies are bubbling up from everywhere around me. I can feel it . . . kinda makes me laugh and smile too. Thank You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ . . . Amen
7.30pm
Weird, very weird . . . she asked me to cut a silver chord that seemingly has been there forever. So I cut it, and cut it again and again. I mean serious, graphic, brutal, machete hacking, cut it up, desperate work cutting this giant tree trunk of a chord. At first I lost like 50 pounds, my throat cleared up and there was so much ease and balance in my tasks before me with my power and freedom returning again. Hum, I wonder when I first got sick whether it coincides with her mom coming to town, or something else she did or thought, guess I'll never know unless she reads this blog and comments to the posting about when I first said I was feeling sick.
Every memory and event that we shared; that I have held so dear; comes to my mind now and it would include this Chord getting attached again. Chop, chop, chop, it's getting easier now. I've been able to wave my hand and brush off her energy, the connection that I once savored, our private discussions through the ethers and enjoyed feels almost like poison now. No not nothing for her now, if she wants something, she can use the phone or do without. I mean, I know I can connect to anyone. I mean anytime I look at someone I can feel their energy patterns and emotions. I ALWAYS avoid this and never read into people much at all. I could feel every time she came back to connect, whether she did it consciously or not. There was a very clear difference from God and other Angels who normally guide me.
You felt a lot more than this. What else are you seeing?
It feels like She is forcing something to work that never was meant to work at the expense of a wonderful little girl who now sits at the point of no return. It feels like its all about ego, being right and making something work, instead of simply saying "oops I made a mistake." Ciera could be loved and blossom into her full potential or will she remain on the sidelines and become a causality of a dispute that can never be resolved. A sad loss for simply an ego that can't accept loss, like cutting off the nose to spite the face!
What do you mean?
I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.
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