2:20:11 PM

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

I’m tired, tired of everything. I want this all done. I don’t want to struggle anymore; I don’t want to be alone anymore … and just want it all done! I agreed to come back to get this stuff done, not to get dragged into all sorts of personal BS, problems and insecurities.

What if you need to resolve your own problems and insecurities before anything can get done?

I don’t buy that, I can do anything that I want and have been able to run circles around all sorts of things that people get stuck on.

What about you being stuck now?

I know it sucks and I'm pissed about it, this school stuff is really getting to be a drag and I'm not getting a purpose or a plan out of it, but only more headaches. Everyday I want to get this done and over-with, and without any help or any success, I'm really getting tired of trying. It’s not healthy or satisfying nor do I really give a shit about it anymore. See the more it drags out with nothing getting finished the more I lose interest. I’m tired of fighting all the time, I'm tired of being alone, I miss my kids and this really aint fair.

What about all these incredible dreams and events you see before your eyes?

I get just enough to stay alive. And it’s not enough anymore. I don’t like fighting for everything and I don’t want to deal with all this shit anymore.

What do you want?

I need a lover! Not just some angel passing by. Someone real and strong that’s able to stay for a while. I need my kids back! I need all this shit done. Can you help me with my homework, I can’t seem to stay focused and work on anything very long. It’s really nerve-wrecking to never get things done the way they need to be. I always feel like it’s only halfway or never right. It really sucks and annoys the shit out of me.

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.