Making Sense yet?

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word! 9.31pm

I guess I've not been addressing things as I need to

Why do you say that?

I had the ladies here to dinner and when one got here early . . . I showed her around and thought to give her something to read while I got things ready. . . Not sure... Oh I know why. She had brought her own Journal/writings to do while I got ready. When I saw what she had I gave her a piece of mine that I had here on my bed. . . Noticed that while walking her around. It was weird, just gave her a few pages spur of the moment . . . and her one comment later on - - to "talk" about later - - was that I "adopt other peoples attitudes because they were safe."

What do you mean?

I had this come up a few times today too. And so when I got here into my room again I looked to see what she read on Tuesday:
This was what we talked about in group today . . . almost . . . lol. . . When we started it was only the three men, and we were all sitting on one side of the room. So I got very strong and direct with them about how we focused the energy in the group so well and pushed everyone else. We connected at a deeper more spiritual level . . . Referred to books: Blink and Joel Olsten as the start of it all. It was like the group needed "training wheels" without us to focus things. Course then someone asked me "what's the point?" . . . Well daaa, I thought it was obvious how cool it was to be talking about the energy and relationship we had developed through our weekly discussions. We have spent the last weeks talking about the group progress and structure. Like I had seen/read an article earlier about the 6 senses . . .

How the Buddha said how we had a 6th sense with our "Mind" that compiled the 5 senses of the world: feeling, hearing, touching, tasting and smelling. Course in the group we all tried to share what we feel, by talking and listening, so that's three senses, plus the mind from the Buddha, maybe even smell and ... hum....

"Oh the BUDDHA . . . so what?"

It was really almost funny, since I had connected with the two other men at a level that no one else had any clue about. And they were all offended by my "private conversation." Well "DAA" we started before everyone else, who all arrived late . . . and I had done it intentionally since the three of us were all on time and there alone. Course I had noticed a dozen times how they would understand the levels of energy I was talking about and wasn't a bit surprised that no one else had any clue what I was talking about.

Then everyone got onto me about not responding to the "WHAT FOR" BS. Well excuse me, we are all here to share and talk and grow, and I simply took the opportunity to talk about what I wanted before all the late arrivals . . . SORRY, you have no clue; you should have been here on time and you wouldn't have missed anything, and Sorry I didn't engage you all, but I was deep and excited about the connections here NOW, and simply talking about the deeper connections.

What did they do then?

It was almost sick . . . like no one else could understand what I was talking about, so the whole group digressed into gibberish about me not relating to everyone. Sure I tried to explain "what for" . . . I mean connecting to people, and "feeling" their energy is a deep meaningful issue that most people never understand and even fewer talk about. . . no personal problem to discuss but...

So then I described going to the library moments before. And I said how I passed this cute girl in the parking lot as I rode my bike there. Parked and went in. . . and looking down from the building as I entered I saw the same girl turn the corner into my view again. No big deal, so I had a bunch of books to look for. . . my annual search for the missing books my boss takes out. . . So then up on the third floor looking through the HD's . . . . then HE's. . . Also one in HN, and HM too. . .

And then I hear a girl asking for help looking for some book in the same area. Then I step out and see the SAME cute girl I saw before.

I knew it was her. I could feel her energy. It was very clear and strong. She recognized me too. Course minutes later as I left to find the BT's at the other end of the floor she left too. . . Following me to the exit where she turned out.

"Oh so you are psychic now?"

Like that's really rude. I mean "I've seen you in the library before," and I confronted you about the arrogant energy you give off ... WHICH YOU have become conscious of and no longer do! You know what I mean about feeling others and simply hide from it yourself . . . or worse . . .

"what another story, why can't you answer the question?"

So the group went through this big long load of BS about me not answering questions, and rambling stories all the time. Oh so I said I'm not psychic and don't like reading people.

"oh so it's ok to tell her to read others but you don't. . . what about practicing what you preach?"

What's wrong with that?

It's perfect, and I was thrilled to get real about the energy again. But the BS buried the intelligent question, so I never could answer it. Or if I did no one understood . . . I guess the deep meaningful connection that I started with got lost into all this superficial BS. I mean I said about how I try to avoid feeling people too much because it feels like an invasion of privacy. I might be able to feel things, but I let people tell me what they want me to know and try to avoid reading in too deep on my own.

So of course I will encourage others to read in a bit when they are so lost about what others feel. I've said that a dozen times in the group how their issues and problems disappear if they simply "try on the shoes" of whoever they have a conflict with. I mean they always seem to stop the discussions and ask me . . . "What does Eric think about this issue?" . . . They always know my perspective will be light-years away so it's good to get another perspective.

Course I said how everyone that has ever been in the room has learned something from my offline comments . . . I've even had people asking me out of group and been contacted privately.

What did they say to that?

Something, I don't remember. It made me feel like I was bragging instead of stating the obvious. . . . "oh YES. . . I like the group and learn from it" Do you think I would engage and endure such petty harassment for my own health? OF COURSE I love the challenge, and learn tons!!!!

What does this have to do with your Journal and such at the top here?

I guess it all started because I was "adopting the attitude of the people there" . . . I mean when I started the men were excited about how we were getting deeper and more vulnerable. So I simply acknowledged how deep we could feel each other. I verbalized the physical energy connections that we could feel in that very moment. It was really kinda cool, seeing the expression on each of their faces. They knew exactly what I was talking about! But, then they almost seemed happy to divert away from something so deep and personal too.

What about the conflict then, what energy was moving then?

I guess I started hedging and avoiding as they got antagonistic. I always stay positive, and really don't like getting into any negativity at all. I would rather avoid the conflict than get rude too, and put someone in their place. Soon I found out they were just wanting yes and no answers. Like what kinda discussion group would that be? So I asked if we all used open-ended questions and got several "no's"

Sure then the next question was "what's addiction" . . . . lol . . . Nothing open ended there??? Which went into stories about cigarettes and other addictions. All people avoiding deeper connections is the addiction programmed by the TV set. No one wants to feel and think, they are programmed to let the TV do everything for them . . . lol . . . That's what $3 million commercials do . . . get you addicted to Lazy Affluenza . . . lol. . . Go rent The Corporation movie. Course we all know people addicted to Soap Opera's or addicted to "law and order" . . .

Oh Tuesday someone said she hadn't ever missed an episode of "All My Children" in the hundred years it's been on the TV . . . . video-taping the ones she missed... lol... OH and I already have said about my brothers are both addicted to video-games. I think I offended someone back then, since Mark is supported by his wife so he can play games 24-7 and Scob has my dad paying for his similar addiction.

Both would be doctors or astronauts if they had studied with the effort they put into video-games . . . . wasting time on useless "personal comfort" like the TV tells them they are supposed to. . . while as astronauts they could own and build real video-games. . . lol. . . But I'm digressing again . . . It's getting late now . . . I need to sleep

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ. Thanks for these lessons today. . . I wish others could avoid fear and anger to find their own lessons underneath. . . Please Lead us all to your Light! Amen.