8:49:23 AM

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What

It's been two weeks since Lyn cut me off. I've posted some of this Journal, but still have 30 pages here. It brings up too much to read and post, so I'm not sure about it. She still comes through the ethers to me even though I've done everything I can to stop that. I still get reminders and little things about Ciera and such that attach us together again. I know this is all total BS to appease her mother. But then I also know she will totally clear out this crap she has focused on her ex; whether it is all greed, materialism, or just ego, which will allow her to open things up for us really strong.

I realize this was really a smart move on her part. Asking me nicely to cut her off and let her deal with things would not have been any better. Though I'm sure she knows she can get me back whenever she gets ready; lol . . . unless of course someone else beats her to it.

But then I look at her picture (which I DON'T) and see the blond Pleiadian I drew after High School. It's nearly impossible for me to keep this lady out of me, since she's always been there . . . as Lyn or someone else I'll never know. But to try and erase part of me, or let go of something that is inside of me is like impossible. When she comes in and I know I need to stay free of her energy . . . I raise it up and send it into Christ, which really changes it just a little bit. Like I can feel a more angelic presence and a higher consciousness, but it still has the air and essence of Lyn.

Then I wonder why I resist her at all. I mean I've almost given up with cutting the chord that keeps her essence there in the background. I wont talk with her anymore and avoid the erotic encounters though I can’t feel or think anything remotely exciting without her showing up. Yes erotic with her again, whether I want to or not. Funny the other night after meeting Cyn again I was in bed thinking and feeling. I thought I'd bring Cyn's energy into me instead. It worked for a while, except Lyn soon showed up . . . "let me show you how this is done!"

It was really almost funny, like the two ladies were taking turns learning Tantric moves that I taught Lyn before. Course teaching Lyn, is just my spontaneous action, remembering something we obviously had shared before.

What does all this make your feel?

I guess it's kinda annoying. I feel like everything she's doing is easy old news kinda stuff, but then I realize it's her experience and something she needs to do herself. Regardless of how I feel or think about it. I know it's really the best thing for her, maybe not for Ciera, but the long run benefits of having Lyn clear will make everything better for all of us.

What if there is no more US there at all?

I kinda wonder about that some times too. It really doesn't seem possible at all, but anything is possible. And though it might be hard to imagine someone beyond Lyn, as I send her energy higher there is someone there. Then I remember the lady at Publix whose golden hair flew in the wind and sunshine . . . she never felt like a person, but maybe a messenger or something. But I guess anything really is possible, and if Lyn and Ciera have other things to do first, then I'll have to let them go. Or I have let them go.

What else do you feel?

I guess I know things are all as they must be. Kathy just wrote me, asking to cheer me up. Suzi wrote too, sent a funny card that made me smile. I told Kathy some of what I've written here. Like how Lyn still comes into me. Like now I can feel her working and busy, but as I think of her she feels me, and smiles. Not a strong connection as we played with before, but something clear and true that we both recognize as real and necessary. I guess it's really almost weird and all. I mean I've waited all my life for some lady somewhere. I always think that will make things better for me. Then I was fool enough to marry the one who was there at the right time. Nothing else worth anything about her, but I guess timing is everything.

What other things are you timing?

I don't know? I need to get busy on a few things; a lot of things.

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.