9:04:05 AM

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What

I can totally love this woman. Every time I go over to visit her I get such a strong feeling of peace and love. She knows who I am and is very interested in all that I represent to her. She does want more children, but wants to be loved and feel loved and have her children taken care of and loved. I get this feeling she has always been spoiled but also always treated like an object instead of a person

Wow http://www.scnm.edu/ is the school she wants to attend, I think, course down the street is more cool schools.

http://schoolofsustainability.asu.edu/

http://www.asu.edu/programs/grad-degrees.html

http://home.nau.edu/

But I think this is the one I want:

http://www.consciousness.arizona.edu/

Which is 112 miles away.

I wonder if I will go join her, or whether she will join me. Or maybe we will do both. I will finish here and then go with her out there. It's interesting because everything I see and feel about this lady shows we are really made for each other and certainly will help and enjoy everything that we can share. It's really kinda awesome when I stop to look at her picture here again. Not only what I see and feel but also whenever we share together so much just clicks so perfectly. Almost like a dream for me.

After we had lunch Friday, I took some pictures of us and we cleaned up everything. Some how, when I dropped my camera in the bag it turned on. I know that was really weird, recording our drive back to get her car. And I could only hear a little bit of it before the car radio was turned on, where I was telling her to find out what her mission was. She has the passion and desire to do a lot of things clear and strong for God, but letting it go seems like a challenge for her. She wants it all in her control to fit into her little box of what is ideal for her. Course I had all kinds of challenges with that too.

What do you mean?

It's about letting go and letting God. And having the faith and conviction to make things happen, but also making it for God instead of forcing it into a box that suits us is never easy. No one seems able to do that too well.

What you are doing is changing your mission and purpose for God to suit her then? Do you think that's right either?

I'm not sure if that's what I'm doing or not. I was really just exploring and looking to see what she was doing and where. I feel like we have a lot to do and share so this might be part of what we do together. I also wonder if I'm just trying to convince her otherwise or something else more in line with what I've been doing and working on. It was really funny to listen to this tape since I never remember saying half of those things. It makes me wonder how totally spontaneous the experience is with her. I know I always want to live and move by God's Will, but I never realized that I was doing it so freely. It was almost like I was there watching us connect and relate to each other instead of actually doing it all myself. Which I guess is really kinda cool. If she needs to have this experience with me and the spontaneous expression is something more than I can understand then we are both learning and growing more. Exactly like the composite of our charts showed.

Wow, just looked at that some more and was really still surprised. Everything there shows us to really be wonderful and supportive of each other more than anything at all.

What have you felt about her trip?

I've been feeling like she will return ready for another child instead of anything else. Sure she wants college and countless other things, but having a child now is more important to her and she knows that I am very much in support of that with her. Funny, I thought of inviting then into my house and seeing how they live. Or seeing how well we are aligned in a home, since we are obviously very much aligned everywhere else. I mean there has to be "something" that we are not totally coherent with.

Why can't you both be at total peace and bliss with each other?

Ok, I guess we can and certainly are. I mean it's really obvious to both of us that we have been wanting each other and needing to be and express the things that bring us together so strongly. I mean for us to go for two months with nothing but a silver chord tying us together and then reunited to pickup like we never were separated at all…

What else?

I Love you Dearest Lord Jesus Christ, thank you for this power and love between us, and help us both to find and express the fullness we both want! Amen.

6:59:04 PM

I was just reading my journal here again and I had a de-ja-vu about my blog and losing my lover over something stupid that I wrote into my blog. I'm not sure what it was but I just made the blog private. I thought to edit all the messages since I met Lyn and make them all drafts so they couldn't be read anymore but instead I just made the whole blog private for now. If there is something to offend her there then I want us to be together when she finds it and not out of town.

Course I know there is too much we share and have to share that anything could ever interfere with us. But I'm not taking any chances. I got a quick spontaneous de-ja-vu and I simply responded to it abruptly. No need to worry or concern myself over it at all. It's simply not worth it.

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.