9:15:45 AM

Thank You Jesus Christ for Creating The Way of Your Word!

What

Happy Birthday Ciera, Hope you are well and close with your mom now, as you should be. I sent her an e-card. I realized I have gotten exactly what I wanted. I remember when my children got lost how I wished I could start over with a child ready to grow and learn. Someone beyond the terrible two's, though now I realize I was there for my children all along, singing them to sleep from the first day. I know those first 5 years of life are more important than anything. I also know that I was there for them with my own children, but had the unstable deceptive elements there with Colleen. Now with Lyn there are no elements unstable or deceptive.

I guess I do know there is more she hasn't told me yet. I'm not sure if it's purely sexual or something else. But it will come out soon and be a big surprise to her that I welcome it with ease. Which now makes me think there will be nothing to deal with, no issues or troubles between us. I feel that all our desires and issues will coincide with great peace and beauty.

She was with me again last night and more so this morning. I woke up to chant just after 2am and got back to bed before 3am. No big deal, simple and direct rituals last night. I guess what was strong was Lyn wanting more from me. She was clear and strong about what she wanted to share and simply needed to share whenever we see each other again.

Funny I feel like I will pick her up for lunch and bring her home to my house. It also feels like we will get intimate. It's almost like no questions asked. The purpose and intentions are all done and we just need to follow it all through. Almost like we decided to get married already and need to get busy with making things happen. I was thinking she would call and tell me which flight to catch to come visit her. Then I also thought she would simply tell me to pick her up at the airport, not wanting to wait for anything or being able to make things happen now.

Then I remember the tape and listening to us talk and wondering who that was. I mean I don't remember saying that. My first feeling was wow I was really pushy. Like I knew what she needed to hear and do and told her so. Course I still look at her pictures wondering if I was really there or not. I really hate the beard, but she seemed to like it. While Kathy loves it and says I look a lot more mature. I never care about looking mature, oh except when I'm approaching Lyn or doing a deal somewhere.

2:46:16 PM

I'm reading three books now; one for my research paper with John, and the other two for classes next term. Of course I get distracted all the time. Every few minutes I take a break to think of Lyn, say hello to her or answer her request of me. We are practically married already. She really wants me to sweep her off her feet and take her away, which is exactly what I want to do too. It's funny how she asks for my strong direction as often as I ask for her open passion. We are really going to have some incredible times together full of total bliss and excitement, and I know that means that I will have to work on making things happen exactly as I want them all to happen. It's really almost funny too . . . I guess I asked for all of this, much as she has and it's really going to be a wild ride for us all.

I Love You Dearest Loving Lord Jesus Christ.